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[Treb3]

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[cap396]

My opinion: It's more important to have a job you enjoy than a job that pays well.  No amount of money is worth risking a mental breakdown due to job stress.  I would really try to reflect on what the new job has to offer (in terms of reduced stress) over your current job, which from reading your post it seems like you've already done this reflecting.  If the new job offers the opportunity to reduce the stress and the physical harm you're experiencing, then I think it is well worth the pay cut.  But if it's going to be just as stressful, then why switch?  Unfortunately you won't know what the true stress level of the new job would be until you actually start working that job.  But based on your description, I'd say you're better off with the new job.

My wife had a high-stress job that sounds very similar to your current job.  The stress was deteriorating her physical and mental health.  She FIRE'd about a month ago, and she is a whole new person.  The pros of leaving her job far outweigh the loss of income.

[pbkmaine]

It sounds like getting back to hometown would be good for you, regardless of whether or not you take this particular job.  YOu are being set up to fail in the current job.  I understand not wanting to leave your colleagues in the lurch, but that is really a management problem because they have put you in an unsustainable position.  I would resign immediately.

I'm curious, though.  Why not move where BF is and look for a job there?  You have a 70k emergency stash -- that gives you 2 years of runway, at least (more if your housing costs go down)

I’m with lhamo. Yes, definitely quit the job. Monday morning. But take your time looking for a new one. Look around. Call center jobs are stressful, too. I used to run one.

[JGS1980]

Quit yesterday.

Don't let your company use your morals against you when they have none themselves. If they had morals, they would not understaff their business or cut promised bonuses or sell you on a false set of work responsibilities.

You have FU money for this exact situation. Time to use it.

JGS

[reeshau]

It sounds like getting back to hometown would be good for you, regardless of whether or not you take this particular job.  YOu are being set up to fail in the current job.  I understand not wanting to leave your colleagues in the lurch, but that is really a management problem because they have put you in an unsustainable position.  I would resign immediately.

I'm curious, though.  Why not move where BF is and look for a job there?  You have a 70k emergency stash -- that gives you 2 years of runway, at least (more if your housing costs go down)

I’m with lhamo. Yes, definitely quit the job. Monday morning. But take your time looking for a new one. Look around. Call center jobs are stressful, too. I used to run one.

I can only wholeheartedly agree here.  While I think it was a little naive to think you could take a director position and still work 8-5, more typically the case would be "Work sucks, but I can't walk away from the salary and huge bonus."  In this case, you are getting neither.

But it seems you are looking for a "rebound job."  I wouldn't rush into it.  Take a *real* sabbatical, and use the time to do some professional networking, in your hometown or bf's hometown.  The call center job will always be there--they have high turnover.  But any decisions you make now will be under a lot of stress, so probably not ideal.  Don't jump to your next mistake; get a little separation from this hellhole.

[former player]

I agree with others that you should quit the current job - your post strongly suggests to me someone who is overwhelmed with stress and hasn't taken a deep breath in weeks, and so is unable to think clearly.

One thing you have not said in your post is what the notice requirements for your current job are?  Were you proposing to give any notice?  If you do work a notice period, I would be clear with whoever you give notice to that during the notice period you will only be working your agreed hours of 8 - 5 Monday to Friday and that you will be notifying all contacts that any matters arising out of those hours will be responded to in the first instance by "[your boss/person to whom you are giving notice/head of the organisation] whose contact details are as follows".

After that, I wonder why you think you need £38k a year to be comfortable?   When you are away from your current situation can you reassess that according to mustachian principles?

Given a bad history of moves relating to work and relationships, I think it makes a lot of sense for you at this point in your life to prioritise location over other things.    But that does mean at some point when you are calmer and more in control having a talk with your boyfriend about where things are between you.


Good luck on Monday.