Hi there,
I'm a 30 year old female living in a fairly large city in the western United States.
I decided almost 2 years ago to take a brief 6-10 year retirement (based on how super-ERE-savings-oriented I had been when working previous jobs) and move to a new, cheaper city so I could get away from narcissistic parents who thought it was appropriate to treat a 28 year old, intelligent, hard working woman as if she was still a child. Anytime I move to a new city, I stay in a hostel for 2 weeks while I look for a cheap room to rent. After initially being really apprehensive about this hostel (online) seeming to be a party, frat boy atmosphere...I actually fell in love with it. The people in it were impossibly friendly and I happened to stay there when there was a major event in town for nerdy, smart people who wake up early and all the other sorts of things I was into at the time.
I found a place to rent immediately, but the day I moved in I immediately missed the hostel and regretted leaving. I emailed about a job immediately. SIDE NOTE: At that point, I had one goal in life: Become more social. Stop looking at the ground to avoid eye contact. Be comfortable starting conversations. (I had given up on socializing years before and was quite the odd duck) The hostel seemed like the perfect place to work on these issues. It was a social/party atmosphere and I'd have a new round of approximately 120 new "roommates" to meet every day.
I was eventually hired and moved from the bottom rung to the #2 manager in a year's time (though, honestly, it's not that hard...all you have to do is take your job moderately seriously and you'll be better than 99% of the volunteers who work there), as well as exceeded that year's goals: I learned basic socializing, then experienced even more when being trained on a customer-facing position, and I even asked a guy I really liked out, who turned into my very first boyfriend (who is literally the most social person you'll ever meet, and happens to have started the hostel in the first place).
Here's all the ERE/MMM benefits of this type of live/work situation:
- No rent and utilities, in exchange for approximately 20 hours of work a week
- In my state, if you make no income (even if you have savings) you get GOOD, free healthcare (I used to pay $125-$200 a month for catastrophic coverage, and NEVER went to the doctor). In the last two years, I have been sick maybe 4 times so I finally started going to the doctor, plus got a minor procedure done that I am very grateful for.
- Free night-time (and occasionally daytime) activities - as long as there are enough hostel guests going
- Free alcohol to fuel those night-time activities 3-4 times a week, as well as steeply discounted drinks at clubs (only pay $1-$2 for tips per drink)
- Opportunity to get free food from guests who have checked out if you're willing to weed through people's food in the fridge and wait a few days for people to claim the unlabelled stuff
- Free access to the owner/my boyfriend's car as long as you're a good driver and he trusts you
- Free Netflix and Hulu Plus
- Discounted travelling - frugal trips to Mexico and state parks for staff of the hostel
- If I need time AWAY from the hostel for a 1-7 days, I can go to one of my boyfriend's houses where he rents rooms to locals, but is willing to give free short-term stays to managers
So, free rent, utilities, health care, entertainment, AND alcohol! Hello, ERE heaven!
However, at the 1.25 year mark I had an emotional breakdown and nearly left the hostel. It's a really really really hard place to be a manager, if you take management seriously. Like, people almost outright refuse to do their jobs and are incredibly lazy. In some ways it is the definition of a work nightmare/toxic workplace. I had to manage people who are essentially interns who don't know professional norms and who drink/smoke/do drugs/party too much, many who are unemployable in any other situation... I was still an unpaid volunteer (because I didn't want to do this full time! God no!) and had broken up with my boyfriend and had stopped working out or eating healthy for almost a full year...too many distractions to be healthy. It also doesn't help that I live downtown where a lot of shitty homeless people and scummy local guys are. Before I moved to this city, I used to take 1 hour or longer walks to de-stress and was never bothered, but if I walk even two minutes in this city I'm guaranteed to be hassled by 1-2 creepers on the way to where I'm going..so I mostly dislike this city. I basically mentally imploded with stress...
...Maybe 5 days later, I realized that the problem was not the environment, it was ME who had never learned to successfully manage my emotions or learned to be comfortable sitting with a negative emotion for more than 1-2 days. I used to abandon my previous life any time I felt extreme emotional pain and just MOVE, get rid of whatever friends I had, etc.
I reformulated. I thought, "Well, if I work full time and get paid, I'll have a couple new options: (1) At least I'm getting paid for the stress of being a manager (2) Since I already have savings, any money I use can be used on excessive things that can help quell the emotions (expensive exercise classes, nights away from the hostel in nice hotels, healthy food ordered through Grubhub, etc).
And, it worked! I exercise heavily 2-3 times a week. I go through periods of eating healthier. Getting paid to manage really was a relief!
However, 6 months later, the stress of managing has recently made my chest feel heavy and resulted in me getting depressed and watching TV for 12-16 hours straight again. I want to use this case study to re-evaluate my life and make a plan for the next year. How can I take advantage of the good things about where I live? How can I overcome the bad aspects about where I live?
Here are some things to consider:
- I adore the boyfriend and we're getting along perfectly since my original breakdown. Although, we probably aggravate each other by ranting about the staff to each other.
- Hate the city (there are SOME positives though), but the boyfriend is anchored here. He owns the business and has all the invested money here. He tried to leave for months a few years ago, but found the managers he hired let the hostel's reviews drop 10%
- What I enjoyed about the hostel I no longer enjoy. I tend not to hang out with staff or guests because I've been burned by too many negative situations (Ex1:
Resentment of staff work ethic, so how can I hang out with them? Ex2: Boring guest or annoying guy trying to hit on me makes socializing not so fun.) There are days where I barely even leave my room so I won't be hassled with work questions or have to see one more thing that the staff have skipped or been too lazy to do - My hair IS on fire spending-wise, some of which I don't want to fix yet (exercise), some of which I do want to fix (ordering take out, never cooking)
- My vague goal for now is to be more relaxed/happy...but I need a more clear goal for sure
- I get paid under the table. Everyone who gets paid here makes very little, usually minimum wage. I prefer being paid under the table so I can get the free healthcare. I really really really like the free healthcare and appreciate it 100%, and never overuse it. Also, I was unpaid for a solid year and most people who work here are unpaid, so I don't think the IRS will track me down anytime soon.
Anyway, I'm writing this to see if anyone else has been in a similar situation and has recommendations on how to improve. I will include income and expenses in a future post, but my main concerns are NOT financial right now, I simply love and respect the people in this forum and tend to always want to know your opinions ;)