Here's the deal. I'm tired of being reluctant to enjoy small purchases and want enough money to live an inflated lifestyle. Today my retirement account value went up over $2,000 and I was perturbed that my energy drink and muffin cost nearly $4. Yesterday I was bickering with my wife over $10 or $20 worth of unnecessary gimmicks at the store for a party we're hosting. We've got a decent income and live like we're lower middle class. I want to live like we are upper middle class and want to figure out the risks and best way to move forward.
Current Lifestyle:
2 mid 30s workers, and a soon to be placed one year old foster baby.
Income: 119k gross, 47k for her, 72k main work and 5k National Guard for me
Retirement savings: Max out 457 and ROTH IRA for me, $200/month 457 for her
Net income is about $5400 a month
We got $98,000 left on a $130k 2bd1.5ba condo that costs us $720 rounded up to $800 in mortgage and $580 in dues.
We have a paid off 2010 Subaru and live a one car lifestyle.
Other monthly expenses include:
Medical Insurance: $228
Cell Phone: $70
Streaming: $25
Internet: $69
Car Insurance: $45
Food/Restaurants: $1,500
Hair: $100
Travel Savings are up to $800/month
Daycare: $1000 estimate
Current retirement value is $218k for me and about $50k for her.
We have enough money to support a decent middle class life. Now that that's taken care of, I want more.
I am beginning to study more before job hunting to see if I can break the 100k income threshold and maybe pass $130k in a few years. That would require moving as it would take nearly a decade for me to break
I may get facepunched, but I will disclose. I think I may live the life you want but not quite to the extreme.
Your desired Desired Lifestyle
YOU| a $500,000 4000sqft house.
ME : I have a 2000 sqft home worth more than $500k. (HCOL) We are thinking about upgrading to the $750 to $1mil range. How are we going to do this? Our home has been paid off for a while. We bought it at $280k based on a mortgage of the lowest income. We are saving the money for an upgrade. No more debt for us.
YOU: want two luxury vehicles, perhaps an Escalade and a BMW.
ME: we have three vehicle, two more expensive luxury, and a cheaper one for the nanny. All paid for in cash. We we first started out, we had less expensive vehicles, and drove them until they died. We bought the vechicles based on what we could buy with cash, so if it was a rust bucket for $2k, then be it. In the meantime, we saved w equivalent of the car payments we would have spent on the vevhicle that we really wanted, and used that to buy the car. As we saved more, we could buy more expensive vehicles. You want a second car, save for it.
YOU want a 3-30k Rolex.
ME: I was lucky, I received mine as a gift. I was surprised that maintenance is $800. I was told if you flinch the price or maintenance, you shouldn't buy one. I like my watch, it is reliable and has sentiment. I have to tell you, no one knows I have one even though I wear it every day. I wouldn't pay for it myself.
YOU| want $200 date nights at least once a month.
ME|. We do do out for very expensive dinners. Once was well over $1000. We don't do it every month, and we ar frugal with our cooking at home so we can go to expensive dinners. I will go if it's a really special place (usually travelling) or if we are out with guest (the experience). We don't go out just for the sake of going you. You spend a lot on your other eating out, maybe get better at that, then you can go out for dinner.
YOU: I want to go out to lunch more often and stop worrying that my wife is going out to lunch too much.
ME: same as above. My spouse goes out for lunch a lot, and me too. To offset, we make our food at home as economical as possible. We spend a little more than you with a family of almost 5.
You| Hell, I even want to go back to having cable TV as well. Maybe even buy a $4 coffee every day.
ME|. Everything comes with a price, we gave up the $4 coffee every day to be able to do the other things,
YOU:I would prefer to get this done within the next ten years.
ME: you can have it all, just not at the same time. I think you really need to decide what is important to you, and make the goals. Is coffee really going to bring the same happiness and joy as the house, then go with the coffe, and forget the house.
I have no qualms with my spending because we have no debt, we max out our retirement accounts every year, and the things I do spend on, though they may seem a lot I know what brings me true joy.
Specific questions:How much income are we going to need to support this desired lifestyle?
We didn't alway have this lifestyle. We needed set priorities. My spouse is not very mustachian at all. So its a constant if you want the million dollar home what are you to do to earn it. 'Oh you want another luxury vehicle?, is this more or less than the house' 'Oh, yes the coffee is only $5 but if you do that every day, we can have the vehicle faster' etc.
How much net worth should we have before taking on additional debt?
We don't ever take on additional debt unless it's for investing. Definately no consumer items including a larger house.
How much income? BOTH My spouse and I have $100k + incomes plus side hustles. We work really hard so we can play hard, but we always save too.
What are the emotional risks of over reaching and falling back to where you were before vs. not reaching and wondering if you could have? Well, my spouse always wants to know if we can have it. I can honestly say we are at the point that we know we can have it, therefore a lot of those things we no longer want. When the bank owns it, you aren't really doing anything special, you haven't earned it. My spouse did want a Rolex, for his grad, I offered to get home one because we could afford it. He no longer wanted it knowing he could have it. One thing to remember that sometimes feelings and insecurities manifest themselves into things. Having a strong sense of what is important to you and feeling good about it, often takes more digging and soul searching.
Also, you have to work for it. I have told my spouse, you want the toys, get a hirers paying contract. That has sent him to other cities and countries. He doesn't like being away as much, so less toys.
All you wrote is about choices and having clear goals and priorities.