Ok, you've got a great start.
@ysette9 already laid it out for you:
... you need to make up the gap between your retirement income ($2057 per month) and the high end of hour spending estimate ($4500) which is $2443 per month. That translates into $29k yearly or $733k that you need to have invested. You could achieve that presuming nominal stock market returns of 7% real by investing $2883 a month. The usual stuff applies: invest only in broad market, passive, low-fee index funds, buy and hold, have a reasonable asset allocation, make sure you are properly insured, etc etc.
You spend $4500/month, passively earn $2000/month, so will need $2500/month to cover all your needs. That translates to a stash of ($2500/month*12 months) *25 = $750,000.
As an example of how much cutting your expenses can shorten your time to retirement, if you can get your spending to more consistently be the lower end at $3500 (I know your daughter has medical needs, so I would looking into cutting expenses elsewhere), the stash you need would only be ($1500*12)*25 = $450,000!!
To answer you question, you can easily reach either of these numbers within 13 years.
Regarding the investment order:
WHAT
0. Establish an emergency fund to your satisfaction
You will not need a robust emergency fund due to your pension. I would keep maybe a 3 to 8 thousand dollar float in your bank account for monthly expenses. 1. Contribute to your 401k up to any company match
You have the enough salary to immediately max your 401k, two IRAs, and still meet all your monthly expense. Thus, I would set your 401k to 26% immediately (18500/73000 = ~25.3% -> round up to 26%). Put it all in index funds at your chosen asset allocation. 2. Pay off any debts with interest rates ~5% or more above the 10-year Treasury note yield.
Get rid of 4runner and get a used, safe, fuel efficient vehicle. 3. Max HSA
Probably not applicable due to military pension healthcare? Unsure here.4. Max Traditional IRA or Roth (or backdoor Roth) based on income level
Max out IRAs (Roth or trad) for both you and your wife, $11k total. All in index funds in your chosen AA. Just by doing these steps, you will reach a $750k stash in about 13 years, or a $450k stash in
less than 8 years. Seems almost too easy to be true, but it's all you need to do.