The car payments are off the hook.
You haven't specified makes and models, but it sounds like you are buying way too much "car" for your family. You have a good six-figure income, but until you have a million dollars in net worth you should not own more than about $10,000 worth of car. It's not just the gas, insurance and maintenance -- it's also the monstrous depreciation you suffer day-in and day-out on cars you buy new.
The main blog has acres of posts about how important it is to minimize driving overall -- choosing housing location very carefully, biking to most destinations, etc. -- as well as buying sensible used cars for when you do need to drive. Not every family can or will choose to live the way Mr. Aldeney and his family live, but most American families have a huge amount of driving-related fat they can trim. Read all of those posts and reflect deeply on your own life. Then, at the very least, replace your entire nearly-new excessively expensive fleet of automotive hardware with a 7-9 year old used minivan you buy for cash and a 7-9 year old midsized sedan you buy for cash. No excuses. A lot of your feeling of being financially squeezed is downstream from your automotive situation.
And I'll second the comments made by Laura33: track your expenses carefully -- not this Mickey Mouse stuff you put at the top of the thread with no allocations for clothing, travel, movies / entertainment, diapers, toiletries or out-of-pocket medical. And max out your tax advantaged space -- fully fund your 401k at $18,500 per year and fully fund Roth IRAs for you and your spouse (you can fund an account for a non-working spouse as long as one spouse works). Once your car situation is sorted out, I would be in favor of 529 plan contributions, at least to the $4,000 per year level which earns you a deduction on your Ohio state income taxes.
I'll let up on the "face punching" for a moment. By average American standards you are doing reasonably well: six figure net worth, own your home with a good deal of equity against the mortgage, married with what sounds like a lovely young family, no high-interest credit card debt, not-unreasonable other debts. But that sneaking suspicion that you are not hitting it out of the park is correct. It appears as if you are severely overspending on automobiles, which will without doubt hold you back from your goal of financial independence in your 40s. The problem is that most of America severely overspends on automobiles, so it is not much good to compare yourselves to your neighbors and pat yourselves on the back for avoiding the temptation to buy a new BMW every three years. You need to be a lot most disciplined and analytic than that if you want to get ahead.
