Hey there--long-time lurker, finally created an account to post and get some feedback. Apologies for the wall of text; I can't really discuss the details of my situation with friends, so this is going to be therapy as much as anything else.
Long story short: I have a lot of money, and I feel like I should probably be more comfortable about my situation at this point, but I've spent so many years saving and living somewhat frugally with the philosophy "hope for the best but plan for the worst" that I fear I am now stuck in "the worst" mindset.
So: 50 year old unmarried female in the US. No kids. I've been with my boyfriend for 7ish years, though with a break of about a year in there, which was ultimately good for both of us to get our shit together. We don't live together.
After a career change in my late 20s, I moved into tech, and after a few years at the bottom of the ladder I was able to move up. I was never making astronomical Bay Area tech company salaries, but reached a point where I was consistently making much higher than the average professional salaries for my northeastern midsize city.
Over the next 15ish years, I continued to work hard, with some shifts in my professional trajectory over time--moving from one area of specialization to another, and eventually about 5 years ago transitioning into a management position.
By a few years ago, I had saved up around $1M, maybe a little more, between regular savings, investments, and 401(k) and IRAs. No debt. (After a few years of home ownership off and on, I decided it wasn't for me at that point in my life, and I rent by choice, although I'm willing to buy again in the future.)
A death in the family a few years ago led to me receiving an inheritance of around $2M, in the form of brokerage accounts (IRA and non-IRA).
I've been thinking more lately about what my next steps should be, especially as I turned 50, which brings with it all sorts of thoughts about mortality and what you want the rest of your life to look like. Work has been really stressful for me the last few years. (I moved to a new job about a year ago but it turned out to be stressful in new and different ways from my last job!)
The numbers--
Cash, CDs, etc.: $418,000 (holy crap, did not realize it was that much, it's scattered in various accounts and banks and I hadn't actually totaled it recently)
Non-retirement investment accounts and some individual stocks: $2,326,000
Retirement investment accounts: $912,000
Total: $3,656,000
No debt.
My annual expenses the last few years have been hovering just under $30k. Of course, my health insurance has always been provided by my employer, so I know that if I chose to retire or at least move to part-time work or something that doesn't provide benefits, those costs could go up significantly for me.
As I mentioned up top, one thing that's been really hard for me is not really being able to talk to friends about my situation. I have a CPA and some professionals who manage some of the investment accounts, and their response when I talk to them about possibly wanting to retire, take a break, or downshift my career to something significantly lower-paying than I earn now is "You have plenty of money and you don't spend a lot, you're ideally positioned to do this if you want."
But I have a lot of fears about this leap--something catastrophic and unprecedented happening to the markets, ACA going away and healthcare becoming unaffordable if you don't have an employer plan and are too young for Medicare... Basically I feel like I have a lot of years left in which to regret this decision, and I'm a worrier by nature, so I keep staring at the numbers and continuing to worry.
On another level, I suspect I'm also struggling with not knowing what I could shift *to* if I made a change. It's easy to say "Go do something meaningful" but harder to figure out how exactly to do that, since even "meaningful" jobs need people with relevant skills and experience, and I feel sometimes like my skills have become sort of niche due to the way my career progressed.
And finally, I think being single/no kids makes me feel like I truly have no safety net. I have the boyfriend, and I have friends of varying degrees of closeness, but I do sometimes have that "Who's gonna change my diaper when I'm 80?" thought keeping me up at night.
What do you all think? Should those numbers be enough to make me stop worrying? Kicks in the pants absolutely welcome.