I suggest that you stop focusing on a very specific date and start thinking of FI as a continuum of time at work vs. lifestyle.
-- You are FI now. Congrats!! You've earned a lot of money and done smart things with a lot of it. That means that you can quit any time you like, if you're willing to make a few lifestyle tweaks.
-- If you're willing to work a few more years, you will be FI at your current lifestyle.
-- If you want to work 10 or 20 more years, you can buy a boat and vacation home and live like your compatriots in the 1%.
Etc.
The larger point is that you don't have to do anything at all, because you have sufficient income and assets to do whatever the hell you want. From this point on, everything is a choice, and you have the power and ability to choose from a variety of good options. And if at any point you decide that your particular choice is no longer working for you, you can change it. So the real question is which choice best suits both of you right now?
This is what my DH and I did, btw: we have a spreadsheet with different versions of retirement, which range from both of us working until 65 all the way down to one that he has literally titled "Fuck It" (a/k/a both of us quitting right now). We share many of your issues -- high-income, DH much more of a spendypants than I am, DH also being really resistant to quitting within the next @10 yrs or so (which, btw, has grown from 5-8 yrs a couple of years ago, grrr). Having the variety of options laid out before us helps us both re-evaluate periodically how well our current choice is working for us and whether we want to change anything (for example, I decided to go part-time a year or so ago, because it was clear that we didn't need the extra income).
IOW, don't hyperfixate on cutting a particular budget category just because -- all that does is enforce a feeling of deprivation that tends to trigger an overreaction in another area. If you like your job well enough to continue working for another 3-4 years, you can keep up your current grocery bill in perpetuity.* OTOH, if your job isn't as appealing, and you're feeling like you're shooting money out the door through a firehose and not getting any value for it, then it totally makes sense to focus in on where the money is going and what you can cut back on without affecting your quality of life.**
To facilitate that, the best thing you can do is to track your spending -- every penny -- and then evaluate what that is getting you. You don't spend for no reason; you do it because you enjoy a particular thing, or because it makes you feel successful or like you're doing something for your family, or because it buys you more free time, or just because you feel lazy and don't want to deal with something. Usually once you start paying attention, you realize that things are out of whack -- maybe you thought something would be great but it didn't bring you the satisfaction you'd like, maybe being lazy wasn't as fun as you thought it would be, maybe you realized that spending money to feel successful was pretty counterintuitive and stupid,*** etc. And that helps you make conscious choices to spend or not spend, which in turn will naturally help you adjust your spending to focus on the things that do actually improve your life in some meaningful way.
*I, for one, will give up my house cleaners when you pry them out of my cold, dead hands. I've done the math, I know exactly how much more I need saved to pay for cleaners for the rest of my life and how much longer I need to work to save that extra, and I am more than willing to make that tradeoff.
**E.g., I am more than happy to shop at ALDI, but I also preserve a healthy restaurant budget, because DH and I really like eating out.
***If you can convince my DH of this, please let me know how.