I don't have financial education and so asking people who have thought about this topic to double check my math seems like a valid request, no? The fact that I have a high net worth is thanks to the incredible luck I had with my profession choice and workplace choices; not due to some financial genius.
@sleepless_in_seattle, this is one of the most honest self-assessments I've seen on the forums ever. I wasn't even going to answer until you wrote this, but - Bravo!!
So here's a string of quick responses:
1. Mucho support for the people who said minimize the stock in your company but, even more importantly, shift to less cash and more stock index fund investing, to the extent you and your wife can emotionally handle not selling stock during market drops. Financially, a portfolio with 50% or more stock tends to outperform other portfolios over a period of decades, as long as you don't sell in down markets. The best technique for this is to choose and stick to a stable stock/bond proportion, and annually rebalance to match it. For example, in my financial investments, I shoot for 70% stock vs 30% bonds/cash. You could do 60/40 or even 50/50, but 25/75 is very low. If you're planning to live another 40-50 years instead of just 20, it's safer to have 50% stock or more.
2. Re groceries, I support the many people who say $2000 is high. I spend about $160 for one person, similar to the $800/ 5 people target. There are numerous threads on thrifty groceries and cooking. That said, since you have family agreement issues, I support gradual change and the $1500 target.
3. The time/effort tradeoff can go a lot of ways in your spending level and income level. You can achieve huge advantages with modest time investments, and they seem easy after you do them, but they seem hard at first. If your spouse is not on board, even harder. Consider reading the spouse conversion thread, using only techniques that would be appreciated and respected by your spouse. Marriages are important, treasure the one you have!
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/how-to-convert-your-so-to-mmm-in-50-awesome-steps/4. Like others, I agree you could quit today if you wanted, AND if you make modest behavior changes to cover the cost.
5. Like others, agree that 4 years of staying the course at work would put you at FI with no behavior changes, barring a stock market crash about 3 years from now.
6. Strong agree re your educational instincts.
7. TBH, what jumps out the most is the non-agreement of you and your wife. Hugely important. I view this as bigger than any of the other things, to the point where everything else is mere detail by comparison.
8. Re 7, I am willing to assume you and your wife love each other, and wish to stay married, and that this is a good decision. I will strongly support it. So in my view, coming to agreement with her about how to live a life where the whole family thrives, including you and her, is the biggest key. This, not item 3, is the true starting point. Other items are tools, warmup exercises, etc.
9. With 8 in mind, I note that you're the one working, and she's the one whose identity is bound up with work. If she keeps working and you quit, how would she feel?
10. If 9 happened, and you saved the child care fees by doing child care yourself when needed, and you also save $500/mo or more on groceries by taking charge of the shopping and cooking, I think you could quit tonight and be FI right now, still taking guitar lessons. How would you feel about that? How would your wife feel?
