I'm surprised how people on these forums say "your spending is not out of control" to someone spending $11k/month.
Regarding your husband not wanting to FIRE, there's lots of other reasons to practice frugality other than getting to FI as fast as possible:
- More flexibility in case of a job loss/health problem/changed economy/changed desire to work
- Environmental reasons (less flying, less driving, less fancy gadgets, less stuff overall)
- Physical fitness (homecooking vs takeout, driving vs biking)
- If you have kids - being a good example; I've met quite a few people from rich families who're just totally used to superspendy lifestyles and if they don't manage to get into equally paid careers they're in big trouble unless parents support them endlessly.
- Being able to give more; even if you're not interested in saving more for yourself, it can be worthwhile to cut out a little spending and direct this to charitable giving.
- Being more mindful; I just personally hate mindless spending/unnecessary spending which has to do with my desire to optimize things (kinda what MMM describes a lot as well). So if I realize I'm leaking $10/month towards a subscription I don't use, I can't stand it anymore no matter how insignificant the amount of money might be.
- Being in control; kinda relates to the former one. If I'm very aware of where my money goes and that this is rather optimized + some frivolous areas I also know where to cut when SHTF and can act on it immediately without the need to figure it out first.
Regarding your budget, the items standing out most to me are:
Phone, internet - $180
Sounds high, any way you can get a better rate?
Cell - $80
Same comment.
Cleaning person - $200
You're only working 1 day/week, so there's certainly more time to do some cleaning yourself. You don't have to cut the cleaning service entirely, but maybe reduce the frequency? Like once/month deep cleaning while you do regular vacuuming yourself.
Groceries - $700
Eeks. That's a lot. You're only 4 people of which two small ones! Go visit the
Less than $200/month on groceries for 4 people thread for some inspiration.
Restaurants - $400
That's a lot. But good job on already halving this in the last months/years.
Gas (car) - $160
No clue about your cars and driving habits, but any ways to reduce car use or get better mileage?
Household supplies - $100
So this was not included in groceries, which makes the grocery number look even worse. What kind of household supplies do you need that are $100/month?
Hair cuts - $50
Experimenting with cutting your own hair can be fun. Reducing frequency of haircuts by a bit could also lower this number.
Fun Money $200
Could be reduced, depending on what it's used for. Not extraordinarily high though.
Kids activities $250
What kind of activities are the kids involved in? Are there options to pick cheaper ones?
Gifts $150
Sounds like a lot, but this depends on the size of your family.
Clothes $100
Buy more 2nd hand clothes for the kids as they outgrow them quickly anyway. Also buy less clothes for yourself, 2nd hand whenever possible.
Vacations - $1000
That's the worst number. Just like Red_Pill I found that sentence about family time due to your husband working so much a bit terrifying. Now do realize that family time doesn't have to be a fancy vacation. $3k/person/year on vacations is really outrageous and that's coming from someone who considers travel her one and only splurge. Use travel hacking to reduce the costs for flying to family. For the other vacations, try cheaper options. Camping in some nature park in your own state can be just as/even more fun than any fancy trip.