Hey all,
Been lurking for a bit, love the forum, thought you all might have some good advice for my current situation. Alright, here's the low-down:
Me:
36-year-old single female wanting to FIRE, would hope to have a partner someday, but no intention to have kids
Expenses:
259k to go on mortgage for 628k townhouse (Zillow estimate) (1500 sq ft/3 bdrms in relatively HCOL area)
30k annual non-mortgage spending, which breaks down roughly as:
22k "needs": 4k food, 2.5k property taxes, 3.5k HOA fees, 4.5k bills, 3.5k healthcare, 2k car/gas, 2k misc repairs/housewares/clothes/laptop
4k day-to-day discretionary spending: hobbies, activities, going out, eating out, memberships, classes, stuff I want, gifts for others
4k travel: visiting friends + family who live in other states, vacations
This spending level has been consistent, give or take a few K, each year for several years now, without really trying that hard to budget. Adjusting for employer-paid health insurance though.
Assets:
665k savings & investments (460k Vanguard taxable, 140k tax-advantaged 401(k)s, 55k cash, 5k HSA, 5k misc)
369k equity in house
Total Net Worth: 1.03 million :-)
Job:
Senior Data Scientist at publicly-traded MediumSizeCorp
Currently make $140k base salary + $20k bonus + $45k stock units = $205k per year if company meets targets
FIRE Goal:
$750k (for 4% WR) + paid off house (old-school MMM style ;-) )
And yes, I know some will tell me this is insufficient, but I (1) anticipate working some in FIRE, (2) think I could cash out the expensive house and move to LCOL area as a contingency plan if needed, and also (3) expect to have Social Security, an inheritance, and eventual reduced housing costs due to someday coupledom, none of which are counted in the above.
Currently moving towards FIRE goal at rate of on-average $10k a month (give or take market headwinds/tailwinds) with $85k + $259k = $344k total to go. Anticipate finishing hopefully by the end of 2020.
So it all sounds great, right? 2.5-3 years to FIRE, cruising along rapidly. Every 12-15 weeks is a tenth of the way there, yay!
The only problem is I'm unhappy with my life right now. Really unhappy. Breaking this down...
The Problems:
1) Exhaustion/Burnout: I don't know why, but it seems like I gradually start to burn out and lose energy whenever I'm working a full-time job. At first, when I start a new job, it's fine. I finish the work day and still have enough energy left to exercise, cook, go out, see friends, just like a normal person. And it's like that for months. But over the course of a couple years, that starts to slide to a point where I'm basically spending every evening or weekend I'm not working completely in recovery mode, just trying to get enough back to get through the next week. Takeout and movies become my friend at that point, as well as doing nothing, a whole lot of nothing. I'm definitely a sensitive introvert type, who is easily overwhelmed by day after day of continual social interaction, multitasking, meetings, deadlines, endless tasks. Perhaps someone on this forum will be able to relate? I feel a bit ashamed about it, it seems like others manage this so effortlessly, but for me, it really starts to feel exhausting after a while. If I get an extended break while switching jobs, I'll start to bounce back and will be my old self again, full of plans to go running, sculling, bake scones, make art, etc. but I really start to wipe out working full-time and to have no energy for anything other than the bare essentials. My health also starts to suffer because I'm not able to put in the energy to stay fit and cook quality meals, and my relationships with others start to suffer from neglect too. I could keep going this way for another 2.5 years but it seems dangerous to my health and quality of life. I need a break.
2) The Manager: So my team used to be a vibrant start-up with a culture that valued autonomy, innovation, and initiative. We got bought by MediumCorp and then got a new manager a year and a half ago. New manager spent 20 years previously in middle management at a stuffy Megacorp and has a controlling, process-heavy management style that stifles innovation. New manager seems to see the team members as cogs in a big machine to be bossed around rather than smart experienced individuals with valuable expertise to be leveraged, and takes the approach of dictating many uninformed decisions to the team rather than consulting the relevant senior domain heads on them. I have to confess, I'm not super good at tolerating these changes, I value opportunities for autonomy and innovation more than anything in my work, as well as having a voice in decisions that could benefit from my domain expertise, and I butt heads with new manager a lot. It doesn't get personal, it's just about how we do things, but it's clear we don't see eye to eye, we're probably never going to, and I believe the relationship is souring over time as a result. I feel a great deal of stress and anxiety from all the conflict. I know several other colleagues are having similar conflicts and frustrations with new manager, and some are considering leaving as a result, so I don't think it's just me, but it's stressful all the same.
3) The Relationship Impact: A boyfriend of 3 years left me a few months ago. He told me he still loved me, but it seemed like his being overwhelmed by the stress and unhappiness of my life over the last year was a major factor in that decision. I don't blame him, I've been very drained, stressed, and mostly existing in recovery mode, and I know from experience how it feels to be in a situation with a partner who you love very much but who is continually unhappy. We've been on friendly terms since the split, mostly still seeing each other every couple weeks or so, and he recently said that he still has feelings for me. I can't help but think that we might be able to still repair this if I was able to get my life to a healthier place in the near future.
For fairness: The Advantages of My Job:
I do interesting work.
I believe that the work I do helps people.
I am allowed to work remotely and from home.
I have a somewhat flexible schedule, mostly because I work from home, although I do typically have several video calls a day and an instant messager dinging frequently.
I really like my colleagues other than new manager. We get along really well and I consider many of them good friends.
I am paid really well.
I have few strict deadlines or other sources of stress. Work gets done at a comfortable pace.
I get to visit some cool cities a few times a year on work trips.
So I guess the question I'm asking is what should I do? What would you do?
The options appear to be:
1) Just suck it up and power through to full FIRE in 2.5-3 years with the status quo.
2) Take more aggressive action (that could potentially backfire) to at least try to solve the manager situation by raising issues to HR or another manager. (FWIW, new manager has been letting personal biases influence performance evaluations and pulling some other questionable moves, so there might be a real case here.)
3) Get another full-time job. Try to take a break in-between to recover a bit.
4) Quit current job and semi-FIRE: try my hand at self-employed consulting or some other slower-paced way to finish reaching full FI since I only have $340k total left to go, which is what I make in 1.7 years right now. This feels like an ideal lifestyle to me, but I just don't know if I would actually get clients. It's a risk. I like to think that my skills are in-demand, as evidenced by my current high salary, and frequent articles I see that say my job is one of the most in-demand professions of the 21st century, but who really knows? Has anyone in a related domain actually done this?
5) Cut lifestyle to reach FI earlier or now. I know that with a million in assets, I could run off to Mexico to RE easily, or I could take less drastic action that moves the date up like getting a roommate for my 3-bedroom place (hopefully to eventually be replaced with a significant other), turning my basement into an apartment rental, selling and moving to a smaller apartment, cutting back on travel or discretionary spending, etc. Any of those could shave months or years off the 2.5-3 years I have left.
6) Quit now, take a break, and trust that I will be able to figure out the rest in time since I'm so close already.
I guess the real question is whether being most of the way to FI at a relatively young age makes it a good idea to take more risks in order to find happiness now? Or whether I should stay risk-averse until I've won the game completely? Anything else I haven't thought of? Thanks in advance for your thoughts! Much appreciated!