Case Study - a very late start & nowhere to go up

[Mistake Maker 501]

Good afternoon Mustachians. 

I'm going to expound on my life situation a bit, prior to the numbers, because some advice will be helpful, you can call me a complainy pants if you like, etc.  I'm starting to look at FI at 40.  I'm not in the best of health.  I'm a type 2 diabetic (almost completely insulin resistant).  My health insurance is one of the $3k deductible ones before any benefits kick in.  I have a 1 1/2 year old daughter & a 20 year old girlfriend.  I have a job until mid-July.  I make $14/hr & $0.43/mile.  I'm currently putting about 250 miles a day on my 06 ford mustang with 156,000 miles on it.  So every week is about a thousand miles. 
There are two assets I have with this job: the first is that I am usually done about 2-3pm every day, so I have some time available in the evenings.  I have Saturday, Sunday, & most Mondays off. 
I also get 32 hours per week guaranteed, so if I work less (for instance, I only worked 27 hours last week) I still get four full days of pay.  I almost always work less because the job is installing printers & computer equipment, which is something I'm pretty decent at.  If you keep moving during an install, it's not hard to complete two or three items at once.

The downsides are that it's task based work, & the number of tasks is specified by the job description, so I'm not allowed to work more for more pay.  The job is 'take it or leave it' at the pay they've specified.  They've made it very clear that we aren't valuable enough to even consider negotiating with us for raises.  There will be another project similar to this available after this one, so I could keep doing similar work if I desired, but I'd be unemployed in the mean time.

I live near Fresno California, north of a town called Sanger.  You might be curious as to why I don't just say Fresno, it's because I'm out in the wilderness.  I live in a desert, out on a rural road that's about 15 miles to the closest edge of Fresno.  Fresno's unemployment is about double the national average (natl avg 4.7% in December, vs 10.3% for Fresno).  In March of 2017, the most recent I can find, it is still 10.3%.  The issue with this is that there are not many high paying jobs around here.

Why do we live here then?  A couple of reasons.  First, we are living with my girlfriend's parents.  She's still on her dad's insurance as long as we live here & it's excellent insurance, which is important because she has some medical issues that would be cost prohibitive if we weren't on his insurance.  Dr visits are $5 each for her & our daughter. 
We don't have rent or utilities, although we do pay for food for six people, at the higher costs of California. 
In any case, we are stuck in one of the worst possible places for work/employment/retirement/FI.

As if that wasn't enough, there are a couple more things.
I have permanent brain damage from an accident.  I've tried to learn stuff through code academy & tree house, but I can't process the information anymore.  I'm good with computers in a general sense, but I can't seem to advance my learning past what I already know.  I don't know if I could go to school & actually be able to learn the curriculum like a normal person.  I'm not dumb, my IQ is still in the 130's, just adding new knowledge is significantly slower than it used to be.
I have substantial physical injuries.  I caught a cart that was on a ramp & going to run over a coworker, which damaged my back, so it's difficult to stand for long periods of time.  I can only use the weed eater for about 15 minutes & then I have a backache for days.  I also have damage to both my shoulders, my knees & my right hip, so I can't really build fences for a living. :-(  Which is a shame, because I really like building things, I just don't have the physical resources to do it for very long.

Life Situation: Myself at 40, 1 gf at 21, 1 child at 1.5

Gross Salary/Wages: $448 per week, until mid July

Individual amounts of each Pre-tax deductions 401k, HSA, FSA, IRA, insurance, etc. - none that I'm aware of.

Other Ordinary Income: GF gets $100 per month from a trust fund.

Qualified Dividends & Long Term Capital Gains: I don't think I have any of this.

Rental Income, Actual Expenses, and Depreciation: I don't think I have any of this either.

Adjusted Gross Income: $448/week.

Taxes: I don't claim anything since I haven't had insurance, so I use the tax return money to offset the penalty. 
My current income for the year is $10,326.06
Fed tax is $768.65
Fed MED/EE $96.43
Fed Oasdi: $412.31

CA taxes: $168.85

Total Taxes paid: $1446.24

Current expenses:
CATEGORY       SPENDING
Food & Dining       $1,707.17 (also includes pet food, & $75/week for babysitting)
Auto & Transport  $1,219.63 (includes $815.41 for new tires for my car & replacing the two front tires for her van after an accident)
Bills & Utilities        $170.65 (this is for the phone.  We have AT&T because it's the only thing that has even decent reception for where we live.  I use data & gps constantly as I'm driving hundreds of miles per day to locations I'm not familiar with.
Home                $170.31 (in lieu of rent I do a lot of home repairs/yardwork, etc)
Shopping                $126.51
Taxes               $28.00 (CA taxes on her income last year)
Personal Care       $20.00
Misc Expenses       $19.00
Health & Fitness   $18.60
Pets                       $12.00
Entertainment        $10.79
Business Services $9.91



Expected ER expenses: We don't plan on going to the ER all that often.

Assets:
Currently $1246.37 in cash
She owns a van that her mom gave her.
I have an 06 mustang (V6, about 29 mpg on average) & I have a 12 ninja 650 that is getting sold as soon as I can get it running & registered properly (hopefully about worth about $4-5k)
Old 401k rolled over into an American Funds "CB&T CUST IRA/ROLLOVER" (I don't really know what this means).  It has $15,756.20 in it.  This is from when I worked at a company a long time ago & I actually did some 401k contributions. 

securities, accounts receivable, inventory, office equipment, real estate - none

Liabilities:
Food for 6
Insurance for three vehicles ($60/month for hers, about $200/6 months for both of mine)
Phones - $170

Specific Question(s):
Question 1: I think my IRA is underperforming the stock market by a good bit (like 8% if I'm reading the graph right). 
It was at $13,173.14 a year ago, now it's at $15,756.20.  It's gained $2,583.06 in a year, or $215.26/month.  I'm not sure how to quantify that as a percentage, nor do I know how to tell if I could be gaining more elsewhere.

Question 2: My gf is apprenticed to be a tattoo artist.  We're currently spending $100 a week in babysitting & fuel for her to get back & forth.  The upside is that she's not paying anything, the downside is that she's not getting paid anything.  Several other shops were asking for $500-1k/month for training (still with no pay), so we feel this is a good deal for us.  Standard length of time for this sort of thing is 2-5 years.  This is her dream job.  My job is enough to cover expenses, but we're not gaining.  Wages in the area are low & competition is ridiculous (I went for an interview for a position, there were 40 other applicants, & this wasn't for a great job, just a mediocre one).  I'm not sure where to go from here.  I can take the next project, @ $14/hr, four days a week & .43/mile, but it's burning up my car & I'm worried about the long term effects on my body & the risk of falling asleep while driving for so many hours a day.  I have at least a few hours every day that I'd like to convert to money, I just don't know how to do so.  Any ideas (other than start a fence building company or online with Treehouse) would be awesome.

[researcher1]

You are 40 years old, not in the best of health, with substantial physical injuries…
- Type 2 diabetic, permanent brain damage, damaged back/shoulders/knees/right hip

What type of government assistance are you personally receiving?  I'm surprised you are not classified as partially/permanently disabled.

And here are the cliff notes for your our 21 year old girlfriend…
- has some medical issues that would be cost prohibitive if not on dad’s insurance
- dream job of becoming a tattoo artist which requires 5 years of unpaid grunt work
- unpaid grunt work “job” is COSTING you approximately $500/month in childcare & gas

This tattoo gig needs to end TODAY.  No way can she afford to blow that kind of money. 
You will have spent ~ $30,000 before she is done with this 5 years of "training"!!!

I would suggest that you find a second job, or a better primary job, but I don't think this is possible if your physical ailments are as bad as described. 
Are you able to perform your current job with minimal issues?  Could you increase your hours and still be OK?
If not, it sounds like you need to get on the government doll.

What is the status of your relationship with your GF?  40yrs old vs. 21yrs old is a huge age difference.
Do you realistically see this being a lifelong relationship?  If not, I would focus on planning for you and your child.

[KungfuRabbit]

I'm a little confused by a few things.

-are your expenses listed monthly or year to date?  They seem too high for monthly but too low for year to date.  Unless you are spending $1,700 / month on food, in which case you need to trim that down immediately (that's over half your salary...).   

-"ER" expenses is early retirement, not emergency room. The idea is if your expenses will change after retirement it changes the retirement planning.

-you neeed to do the math on this tattoo thing. 5 years as an unpaid intern with expenses is a big deal. You are paying thousands of dollars but have an opportunity cost of $100,000+ if she were getting paid. What are realistic tattoo job prospects in your area?  I'm guessing not good and poorly paid.

[Mistake Maker 501]

You are 40 years old, not in the best of health, with substantial physical injuries…
- Type 2 diabetic, permanent brain damage, damaged back/shoulders/knees/right hip
What type of government assistance are you personally receiving?  I'm surprised you are not classified as partially/permanently disabled.

If I was the type to sit around & do nothing, yes, I'm sure a visit to any reputable doctor would put me on  the permanently disabled list.  I'm in constant pain, it's difficult for me to remember things & I have trouble assimilating new skills.  That being said, I'm not willing to be handicapped.  Despite my brain damage, I'm still well above average intelligence, my IQ is 137 - I'm not dumb.

And here are the cliff notes for your 21 year old girlfriend…
- has some medical issues that would be cost prohibitive if not on dad’s insurance
- dream job of becoming a tattoo artist which requires 5 years of unpaid grunt work
- unpaid grunt work “job” is COSTING you approximately $500/month in childcare & gas

This tattoo gig needs to end TODAY.  No way can she afford to blow that kind of money. 
You will have spent ~ $30,000 before she is done with this 5 years of "training"!!!

I've been working for 20 years, & I've never really enjoyed any of my jobs.  She's got a shot at doing something she loves, which pays decently ($30k/year avg, up to $80k if you're great), which will cost $10,400 to $26,000 for her education.  She's an amazing artist so I'm willing to put my money where my mouth is for her to have things I never got - a job that she doesn't dread going to, to be allowed to dress & look how she wants, to be able to set her own hours, & to be independent.

Yes, it's unpaid, but it's also not costing us anything.  If we were to have her go to college for some job that she'd be miserable at (an option we discussed at length), it would still be four years at a much higher cost (still have to pay for babysitting & gas, plus tuition & books), then 10 years at a miserable job.  That's not something I'm going to suggest or even consider.  Why would you do that to someone you love?  Why would you do that to yourself?

I would suggest that you find a second job, or a better primary job, but I don't think this is possible if your physical ailments are as bad as described. 

The problem is that while I'm usually home by 2 or 3 in the afternoon, I'm not always.  Sometimes I'm not home until 8 or 9pm, so unless I can find a second job that doesn't care when I show up, it's a bit difficult.  I'm always looking for a better primary job, but this place is a literal desert, the only jobs here are truck driving ones.  I considered doing that, but I don't want to be away from home for the rest of my life.

Are you able to perform your current job with minimal issues?  Could you increase your hours and still be OK?
If not, it sounds like you need to get on the government doll.

I can do my current job.  My car is a bigger concern than my body.  Like I specified in the original post, I'm not allowed to adjust my hours in any way, nor are they willing to negotiate salary.  I have hours in the afternoon that I could convert to money if I knew how.

What is the status of your relationship with your GF?  40yrs old vs. 21yrs old is a huge age difference.
Do you realistically see this being a lifelong relationship?  If not, I would focus on planning for you and your child.

Well, we're actually really happy together.  We don't really worry about  the age difference, other than that it's likely that barring a major accident/illness, I'll probably die 20-30 years before her.  Hence why I want her to have a job that she likes, that she can do whenever she wants, rather than one that she'll hate forever.


So, all that being said, the actual questions are, Is my IRA in a good place or is there a better one? & any ideas that I can convert a few hours in the afternoon to cash?

[Mistake Maker 501]

-are your expenses listed monthly or year to date?  They seem too high for monthly but too low for year to date.  Unless you are spending $1,700 / month on food, in which case you need to trim that down immediately (that's over half your salary...).   

They are for last month, which was the most expensive month this year thus far.  The month before was actually about a third of that cost.  I can adjust them to a 6 month average instead.

-"ER" expenses is early retirement, not emergency room. The idea is if your expenses will change after retirement it changes the retirement planning.

Ah.  That makes more sense given the forum.  I think that I would get bored just sitting around, so I would probably try to hobby more to keep myself busy, so for the moment let's assume that they will stay the same.

-you neeed to do the math on this tattoo thing. 5 years as an unpaid intern with expenses is a big deal. You are paying thousands of dollars but have an opportunity cost of $100,000+ if she were getting paid. What are realistic tattoo job prospects in your area?  I'm guessing not good and poorly paid.

A maximum of five years.  $20k/year is basically a minimum wage job full time, which is all there is around here,
 except that most of what's here is part time.  Tattooing, despite everyone derision, is actually pretty profitable.  It's also one on one, instead of at a crowded office, which is a concern as well.  It's not 1985, tattoos aren't just on the dregs of society done in seedy back alley parlors. 

[Lady SA]

Your biggest issue is your location and being "tied" to a sinking ship, essentially. You don't have debt, thank god, but you are living completely unsustainably, and any sort of unexpected situation (car accident, losing your job) could derail you catastrophically. Am I doing the math correctly that you are making like 23k/year? In CA? 23k per year to support a gf and kid plus CA-priced food for 6 people? And you have almost no assets at 40 y/o?
I know you have some specific questions but honestly, your lifestyle needs some major TLC before getting into the nitty gritty. At this rate you can never, retire but in all likelihood your body will give out sooner rather than later.

1. Health issues. Only your gf is on her father's insurance, correct? Are her health issues permanent, or are there things she can do to manage them (high bp, weight issues, anxiety, etc)? If your gf can get her health issues under control, you have a better shot at leaving for a more prosperous location. Are there things you can do to manage your own health (diabetes specifically)? I don't know much about diabetes actually so I might be way off the mark. Getting yourself as physically healthy as you can makes finding any job much easier because you don't have as many physical constraints to take into account. Does your current job not offer health insurance?

2. Jobs. Ditto on realizing just how much her dream job is costing the two of you. Can she get a part time job to help subsidize this cost? Waitressing or office work or anything. Or can she schedule her hours during a time where you or family members can care for your child for free? Can she think about delaying pursuing her dream job for a few years and focus on scraping together money so you can move and resuming later? Does she know what the income/job outlook is for tattoo artists? At your income level it probably makes more sense for her to delay her dream job to help get you guys out of this cycle and get into the field later once you have your feet under you.

3. is your relationship with gf on its way toward marriage? I ask because of the massive age difference, health insurance implications, and the fact that it looks like her needs are anchoring you in a dead-end location. Making a decision on this one way or another can help you move forward.

4. Childcare. You are living with 6 people, correct? Can one of these family members help out with childcare for free so you can free up something in your budget? $75/week is pretty significant with your income.

5. Food and dining. You don't specify what all this includes, I assume it includes the paying for food for 6 people. However $1700/mo is outrageous. Are you guys going out to eat at restaurants all the time or something? even in CA this seems excessive. Buy food in bulk, make bulk meals, pack lunches, and try to get this down to like $1200 per month (for 6 people). It is possible.

6. Your job. Being in fresno is atrophying both of your income potential. You need to focus on trying to get a better paying job and that likely means looking outside the area. I know you have a kid, but if you focus on getting a good job elsewhere that has health insurance (assuming you want to marry your gf), then she can move over under your insurance once you marry, no need to stay in fresno just for the insurance. You might have to move away for a few weeks or months to get set up and gf and kid can follow. It would suck for a bit but the financial breathing room you would get would be worth it.

7. Your skills. You have to have some skills or hobbies that can be turned into income streams during your downtime. Do you like numbers? You could take on a part time gig as a bookkeeper for small businesses. Do you have skills that you could turn into a consulting gig? What are your limitations (lifting weight? standing for long periods of time? etc) and what are your strengths? What are you good at, what do you like doing? We can likely help to come up with ideas based on that.

8. Car. A mustang isn't the most efficient car for all the commuting and driving you do. Can you sell it and replace it with a cheaper, more efficient car? The sooner the better because the more miles you put on it the harder it will likely be to sell.


My ideal situation would be: you find a better paying job with health insurance in another state with LCOL (then you stop paying the penalty and with your health issues you would use the insurance anyway). You marry gf, gf and kid follow you to new state and you bring her under your health insurance plan, she gets at least a part time job to help build your cushion. You only pay for food for just the 3 of you and make smart purchasing decisions (bulk foods, meal planning, packing your lunches, no eating out) to keep your costs low. This is entirely possible and would do wonders to dig both of you out of this rut.

[Lady SA]

I'm not willing to be handicapped.  Despite my brain damage, I'm still well above average intelligence, my IQ is 137 - I'm not dumb.

First, getting disability does not mean you are "dumb". It means that you are physically unable to work, WHICH YOU ARE. It is not a bad thing and doesn't mean you have to sit idly in your house all day every day. Do some more research before writing this off.

That's not something I'm going to suggest or even consider.

I want her to have a job that she likes, that she can do whenever she wants, rather than one that she'll hate forever.

Are both you and your gf committed to digging yourselves out of this pit? Committed and desiring to have more of a cushion and able to live the life you want? Delaying doesn't mean she can NEVER do tattooing. If you guys are serious, that means some BIG changes have to occur and putting some needs ahead of some wants for a bit. Or do you want to live with your in-laws forever? If you are looking for us to give you ideas on small changes but keeping the general trajectory of your life the same, you have come to the wrong forum, I'm afraid. We are talking major lifestyle renovation so you can actually get ahead. If you make no changes, you will live the rest of your life in a town with no prospects and no money and no health. Is that really what you or gf want? There are tradeoffs to each choice you make and you need to be aware of them.

I don't *hate* my job, but I don't love it either. But my and my husbands goals mean I am working this job because we care more about our future stability than making sure I love every single second of my working life. In just a few years we will be financially independent and then we both will have the ability to pursue our real interests for 40+ years and with little concern for paychecks. That tradeoff, a few years of working a lame job for complete freedom for the rest of my life, is completely worth it to both of us. That is a decision you and gf have to make for yourselves.

I'm always looking for a better primary job, but this place is a literal desert, the only jobs here are truck driving ones.

Hence why you and gf need to do everything you can to gtfo of the desert and to a location with actual job prospects.

[Mistake Maker 501]

Last month (which those numbers are from) was a very expensive month, not a normal month, I may have caught a weekly trip on both ends, as March's totals were significantly lower.    Here are the averages for the last year I grabbed from Mint:
                                One year total  Avg Month
Total                   $24,384.73    $2,032.06
Food & Dining      $14,285.10    $1,190.43
Auto & Transport   $2,787.48    $232.29
Bills & Utilities      $1,757.78    $146.48
Pets                    $1,581.95    $131.83
Shopping            $1,453.39    $121.12
Home                   $440.66            $36.72
Financial                   $426.54       $35.55
Health & Fitness   $402.87            $33.57
Show more           $1,248.96    $104.08


I got divorced at 37 or 38, which is why I have so few assets at 40. 

I have health insurance, there's a $3k deductible before I get any benefits.  I'm insulin resistant, which means my body makes insulin, but my cells don't accept it.  My body can't get rid of sugar, so I don't eat it.  No noodles or rice or carbs in any form except for fresh veggies that are green & leafy.  I'm on the Keto diet, which is similar to Atkins.  No, I don't eat a pound of bacon every day. I've maintained my starting weight while reducing my waistline by about 5" in the three months I've been on it. 

The gf & I do go out to eat once, sometimes twice a month.  Actually, I don't like to eat out because I can't verify what's going into the food so I pick up Pho for her once or twice a month ($8.33 including tip) from the place she likes. 

To answer your questions:
1. Both my gf & daughter are on his insurance, for the next 5 years. 
Her issues may eventually resolve themselves but for the sake of this question, you can consider them effectively permanent.
I am managing my health as best as I can manage, through diet & exercise.  The most commonly prescribed medicine, which I was on for about six months was causing me to be very ill.  I think it's called Metformin or something like that.  My health insurance is terrible.

2. At the moment I don't feel that she could handle a part time job.  Her family provides housing & utilities, & that's about the best we can hope for from them.  I think they could help with the babysitting but I can also say that they will just not.  I'm the only FI person in the house, although my gf is starting to think more mustachian as time goes on.

3. Yes.  If we get married now though, she looses her amazing insurance & gets loaded onto my terrible insurance.  Same with the daughter.  So marriage when she's 26 & can't be on his insurance is the plan at the moment.  That's also our target for relocation. 

4. Yes, but they won't.  They are lazy & infuriating. 

5.  Actual average costs are $1190 so done.  I do buy in bulk & make lunches & all that.  I've been eyeballing this, trying to figure out a way to reduce costs further but my dietary restrictions make it difficult.

6.  It's not just insurance.  It's rent, utilities, amazing insurance, etc.  It's easily $1400 a month, if not more.

7. My skills are building computers, setting up printers, general carpentry stuff, designing woodwork (I built a dog proof litter box for the cats that slides out so it's easy to clean), & I'm a hell of a cook.  Like seriously, if restaurants didn't have a 95% failure rate I'd open one. 

8. I know it isn't the most efficient, although I do drive it very conservatively & get about 29 mpg.  I do own it outright though, so I don't have to make payments on it.  It needs some work done to it before I can legally sell it in CA.  I'm not sure I could sell it for enough to afford a new car & avoid payments.


In general, the advice has been:
Tell my gf to give up on her dream job & get a real one. 
Move away & get a better job for me.  So, triple my costs, even though there's no way I'm going to be able to triple my pay.  At best I've only ever made about $35k/year.  I have no rent, no utilities.  Even if we both got jobs elsewhere, we'd have to pay more for healthcare, more for childcare, etc. 

This is great advice, & none of it applies to my two questions.  I don't know why I even put this up.

[researcher1]

You need to wake up.  You are living in an unsustainable dream world.  Your take home income is LESS than your monthly expenses! 
How are you making up this shortfall?

Your problems are far greater than what to do with your miniscule 401K.  It doesn't really matter where you put it. 
Bury it in the desert if you want.  You have far bigger fish to fry.

Your second question about bringing in more cash is a far more important one.
You said that you have Saturday, Sunday, & most Mondays off.  Since you are unwilling to have your girlfriend work, you need to find another job immediately for those days.  That will be tough with all of your physical ailments, but that is the path you've chosen.

Personally, I think your position regarding your girlfriend is insane. 
You state that "I don't feel that she could handle a part time job."  Why the fuck not?!?!?!
She's able to sit around in a tattoo parlor for hours a week, which costs you $400+ every month, but she can't work?

If you listen to the advice you are being given, you have a chance at improving you and your child's life.

[Dictionary Time]

Are you sure that she needs to be living with the family to get covered?  Is that a requirement imposed by the parents?  According to the ACA, it shouldn't matter where she lives.

Young Adult Coverage

Under current law, if your plan covers children, you can now add or keep your children on your health insurance policy until they turn 26 years old.

Children can join or remain on a parent's plan even if they are:

Married
Not living with their parents
Attending school
Not financially dependent on their parents
Eligible to enroll in their employer’s plan

If that would free you up to move somewhere...

[Lady SA]

ok, if answering your questions will help, here you go. However addressing these two minor things is just a tiny drop in the bucket and you won't be much better off afterwards, is what we are trying to warn you of.

1. We cannot give you good advice because you've given us almost no info about your 401k. We don't know what funds you have or what their expense ratio is. Figure out what funds your old 401k has. The 401k is the account, the funds are what you've purchased within the account. If it is actually returning 8% a year thats perfectly fine, the average return is around 7%.
The bigger question is the expense ratio of those funds. That's how much the management company is taking out for themselves. If there is a 1% or 2% ER, and you are returning 8%, you effectively only get 6-7% yourself. Find out more about your 401k and maybe we can help you.

2. You asked for ideas on ways you can get extra money. Well my first thought was have your gf get something part time AND you get something part time but you shot that idea down too. Additionally this is a strange question to ask since in your OP you didn't provide any information regarding your skills so anything we would guess would be a total shot in the dark. You did answer my question further in the post though. OK, so you know your way around computer hardware, woodwork, and cooking. Is there a computer repair place you could work at part-time? Can you offer your repair services on craigslist? Cooking, all I can think of is as a short order cook somewhere but with your physical limitations idk how that would work.

With those questions answered as best I can at this point, I must say that if you are serious about turning this around, I would listen to the advice we are giving you and see if there's some wiggle room. "Fixing" your 401k and only you getting a possibly part time job will not fundamentally change your situation, you'll still be stuck. We know what to look for, and right now you have glaring issues that you don't seem to recognize or feel the need to change. The biggest of which that even with your expenses so low your expenses still far exceed your income. That's why we are pointing them out before answering your two questions. To us on this forum, your two questions are relatively minor compared to what you and your gf COULD be doing, and are easily answerable yourself if you spend a bit of time familiarizing yourself with MMM topics.

[Lady SA]

If your numbers are correct:
Monthly Income:
$1941 ($448*52 weeks/12 months)

Avg monthly expenses:
$2,032.06

You are in the red $100 per month on average, of course there is no way to get ahead. You cannot save what you do not have. With no ability to save you will never retire, you will fall further and further behind, but with your physical issues you might not get a say in how long you can work. That is extremely worrisome for us looking in. We do not know you but we care about you and want you to succeed.


Sure, you can choose to give gf the cushy life with no part time job just to help out a bit, which would be fine in most cases but have you noticed your physical limitations lately? You are choosing the most difficult path possible which is likely detrimental to your and gf's future. And how long do you think your injured body could handle constantly working? 1 year? 3 years? It would be hard for a healthy young person to do, but you are signing yourself up for much more than needed or what you can reasonably handle. What is so bad about sharing responsibility with your partner? There ARE ways you can make this work for both of you but you have to be willing to compromise and make some tradeoffs for the greater good sometimes, and you don't (and can't) carry the full burden just by yourself.

It sounds like you've already decided your path (staying put, gf focus completely on tattoo artistry and you work yourself to the bone for measly pay to support her while you continue to fall further behind) and any advice that contradicts that ideal is ridiculous. Good luck to you then, I really do hope things work out.

[Lady SA]

Here are some thoughts I want to leave you with:

1. I want you to come up with at least 10 ideas, no matter how crazy or outlandish, on how your household (you + gf) can increase your income. Give specifics. Not "get another job", its "apply for a job at Geek Squad to repair computers".

2. I want you to come up with at least 10 ideas, no matter how crazy or outlandish, on how your household (you + gf) can decrease your expenses. The car is an expense. My husband and I are a one car family. We bought a used '01 prism off craigslist for $3000 cash and its still going strong 5+ years later. You have options, you just need to recognize that.

The ONLY way to get ahead is to make your income more than your expenses. The ONLY way. That is what PPs are focusing on, and what you should too. No idea should be off limits, and you and gf should discuss your options together. Right now you two are drowning slowly and ideally a change in both income and expenses can get you ahead.

Even if we both got jobs elsewhere, we'd have to pay more for healthcare, more for childcare, etc. 

Have you actually priced out potential income vs living expenses in LCOL areas? Because even though your living expenses may increase, you income may increase more, making financial sense to move. You won't know unless and until you actually run the numbers. But staying put in fresno because of fear means you are stuck living with your "infuriating" inlaws and making peanuts for the forseeable future.

[Mistake Maker 501]

I'm not anywhere near the red.  I make 0.43c a mile, which given that I drive 250 miles a day 4 times a week is an additional $340/week, or $17,680 per year that you're just ignoring. 

Also, her trust fund gives her $100 per month, so even without the mileage, we're still in the black. 

I understand I make a lot of mistakes.  I didn't choose my username by accident.  I guess I can call it 501 now.  I know better than to ask for help, & I went against my instincts here but since I don't understand how my IRA works I'm just going to leave it & hope it's the right thing. 

As for the gf you're being so judgmental of, she's has severe anxiety.  Hence, the tattoo shop, which normally has 4-5 people in it at a time is okay for her.  Grabbing a part time job at Costco, while a nice idea, would be catastrophic.  She can't even handle Walmart for the last quarter of the year.  So there you go.  She's doing the most she can.  Yes, she's a lot younger than I am.  It doesn't bother us as much as it seem to bother you.  She can't handle doing a second, part time job.  Period.  Seriously, when people aren't willing to consider an option, there's usually a reason for it.  Like I said, I'm not dumb.  Not everyone is a working machine.

I'm not scared of starting over somewhere else, I've done it numerous times in my life.

You're correct, in that I didn't list potential skills or hobbies in my initial question.  That was my mistake, & an easily correctable one.  I had two straightforward questions that I didn't give you enough information to figure the answers out.  I get that.  My bad.    Actually, my mistake was asking in the first place I suppose.  In any case, it doesn't matter.  I've always been down, I realize there's no way up for me.  If I can be the stepping stone for someone I care about to have a good life, that's good enough for me. 

MMM is a great blog & I have much respect for the man himself, but you & him are all discussing problems like what to do with your income of two months that's roughly what I make in a year.  I'm obviously in the wrong place & I get that. 
Moving on, I'll figure it out.  No need to give me any more 'help', I'm good. Thank you.

[Karinajane8]

Roll your old 401(k) over to Vanguard and put it in VTSAX or a target date fund if you want to be more conservative without any rebalancing requirement.  They are very helpful on the phone if you can't do it all online.  If you want to understand why this recommendation, take a look at Jim Collins' stock series on JLCollinsNH.com.
Good luck!

[Lady SA]

You are correct, I did overlook the milage money you receive. I'm sorry.
I hope you don't think I was being judgmental of your gf. I have anxiety too and it isn't a cakewalk. My intention, with limited information, was to throw some ideas at the wall to see what could stick. Having gf get a part time job was an obvious one but it wasn't clear why that wasn't an option at first.

if you are happy with your expenses/income, by all means stick with your existing job, and supplement if you can with some side income. I've thrown out a few potentials for how you could use your free time on the weekends.

For your 401k, focus on low expense ratio index funds (large cap, small cap, international, and bonds) and then leave it alone to grow. Your best bet is to roll over into Vanguard as they have the lowest ER index funds.

good luck to you.

[Hargrove]

I'm not anywhere near the red.  I make 0.43c a mile, which given that I drive 250 miles a day 4 times a week is an additional $340/week, or $17,680 per year that you're just ignoring.

You're high on expenses. Maybe not in the red, but you said you weren't gaining earlier, so I'm just confused. You should be gaining with the mileage money, except for depreciation on the car. Your easiest fix for a tight budget is not spending 1200 bucks a month on food as you currently are. Cut that in half and it's like you already picked up a part-time job, and you could easily absorb the cost of a replacement car if you had to. Costco and careful planning can make that happen for you.

As for getting government help, you're handicapped by your own description. It may be best for your daughter if you apply for aid. I'm sorry you feel that government aid means a person is dumb, because, well... it doesn't. If your girlfriend's opportunity to pursue tattooing is so important to you, getting aid for yourself so your situation isn't precarious may make it easier for you to stand by your girlfriend and also take care of your child.

... but since I don't understand how my IRA works I'm just going to leave it & hope it's the right thing.

Your IRA went up 20% in a year. That seems to be doing ok. If you have a 401k, that you should move. If you want to move it, gather your 401k info, call 877-662-7447 or go to https://investor.vanguard.com/home/ to open a Vanguard account as an IRA, and tell them (like Karina says) you want to open an IRA for a 401k rollover and put it in VTSAX or a target date fund. That's it. They'll walk you through it.

As for the gf you're being so judgmental of, she's has severe anxiety.  Hence, the tattoo shop, which normally has 4-5 people in it at a time is okay for her.  Grabbing a part time job at Costco, while a nice idea, would be catastrophic.

There's no way for anybody to give advice on an anxiety disorder they don't know about. I'm amazed she wants to permanently ink the skins of strangers (and risk associated confrontations), but this is an issue nobody here can help much with.

MMM is a great blog & I have much respect for the man himself, but you & him are all discussing problems like what to do with your income of two months that's roughly what I make in a year.  I'm obviously in the wrong place & I get that.

I have literally no idea where this came from. If you read the blog, you know MMM is all about tough love, and the people here are trying to say you may be hurting yourself with how many assumptions you're making about what "can't be changed." Not a single poster is paid to help you, but they're trying anyway.

[independence]

I can't give advice on the IRA but increasing your income, maybe.

It sounds like your girlfriend's anxiety is triggered by larger numbers of people. What jobs are available to her without larger numbers of people? It sounds like your area is pretty deprived, as is mine, so if there's no local options then what are her options online? Leapforce, Appen Butler Hill, etc. There's a whole thread on online side hustles on the forum so have her take a look through. I work for Appen for $14.5/hour. If she wants to be a tattoo artist I imagine she's artistic so selling on Etsy (tattoo designs or other art-y things) could be a good option for her too. If you could both take on a couple of side hustles, you'd be in a pretty solid position when you get married.

What makes the difference between her apprenticeship taking 2 or 5 years? It sounds like there's potentially a lot of room for her to be taken advantage of if they're getting free labour.

Have some patience with the forum and remember that we don't know details until you state them. People suggesting that your girlfriend get a part time job to support her education isn't ludicrous if we don't know there's an underlying situation. If anything, I think they were trying to protect you from being taken advantage of. You're a good person for supporting your girlfriend in her dreams but you don't have to take the full burden as you both have physical and/or mental things to work through. Lean on each other. Set some goals together. If you could save up enough to move over the next few years, your girlfriend would have finished her apprenticeship and you could both relocate in time for your baby starting school.

[PepperPeter]

I won't get into your finances, but specifically to the Metformin - the original formula destroyed my body (putting it kindly).  I couldn't keep food in my system for 3 months.  My doctor then prescribed me the "extended release" version and holy shit did it make a world of difference.  I still had trouble adjusting for the first few weeks, and I have issues if I miss a dose here and there, but I am able to take the ER with minimal trouble.  It might be worth discussing with a doctor.

[nancy33]

WIC for free groceries, Covered California for free or almost free health insurance (or get married and get medi-cal),  free state preschool for babysitting and get free job training thru vocational rehabilitation, thru the State of CA for you:
 https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=3&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjRl7D1penTAhVCxoMKHdTuBRsQFggyMAI&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dor.ca.gov%2FDOR-Locations%2Fcode%2Fcounty.asp%3Fcounty%3DFresno&usg=AFQjCNFxxAkVO2kWFm7FOBAEaiQjd6UNLg&sig2=JJG-it6Z-EBFgiKVMLOBkQ
Free college for both of you thru the state of CA because your income is so low. 

[With This Herring]

Last month (which those numbers are from) was a very expensive month, not a normal month, I may have caught a weekly trip on both ends, as March's totals were significantly lower.    Here are the averages for the last year I grabbed from Mint:
                                One year total  Avg Month
Total                   $24,384.73    $2,032.06
Food & Dining      $14,285.10    $1,190.43
Auto & Transport   $2,787.48    $232.29
Bills & Utilities      $1,757.78    $146.48
Pets                    $1,581.95    $131.83
Shopping            $1,453.39    $121.12
Home                   $440.66            $36.72
Financial                   $426.54       $35.55
Health & Fitness   $402.87            $33.57
Show more           $1,248.96    $104.08


I got divorced at 37 or 38, which is why I have so few assets at 40. 

I have health insurance, there's a $3k deductible before I get any benefits.  I'm insulin resistant, which means my body makes insulin, but my cells don't accept it.  My body can't get rid of sugar, so I don't eat it.  No noodles or rice or carbs in any form except for fresh veggies that are green & leafy.  I'm on the Keto diet, which is similar to Atkins.  No, I don't eat a pound of bacon every day. I've maintained my starting weight while reducing my waistline by about 5" in the three months I've been on it. 

The gf & I do go out to eat once, sometimes twice a month.  Actually, I don't like to eat out because I can't verify what's going into the food so I pick up Pho for her once or twice a month ($8.33 including tip) from the place she likes. 

To answer your questions:
1. Both my gf & daughter are on his insurance, for the next 5 years. 
Her issues may eventually resolve themselves but for the sake of this question, you can consider them effectively permanent.
I am managing my health as best as I can manage, through diet & exercise.  The most commonly prescribed medicine, which I was on for about six months was causing me to be very ill.  I think it's called Metformin or something like that.  My health insurance is terrible.

2. At the moment I don't feel that she could handle a part time job.  Her family provides housing & utilities, & that's about the best we can hope for from them.  I think they could help with the babysitting but I can also say that they will just not.  I'm the only FI person in the house, although my gf is starting to think more mustachian as time goes on.

3. Yes.  If we get married now though, she looses her amazing insurance & gets loaded onto my terrible insurance.  Same with the daughter.  So marriage when she's 26 & can't be on his insurance is the plan at the moment.  That's also our target for relocation. 

4. Yes, but they won't.  They are lazy & infuriating.

5.  Actual average costs are $1190 so done.  I do buy in bulk & make lunches & all that.  I've been eyeballing this, trying to figure out a way to reduce costs further but my dietary restrictions make it difficult.

6.  It's not just insurance.  It's rent, utilities, amazing insurance, etc.  It's easily $1400 a month, if not more.

7. My skills are building computers, setting up printers, general carpentry stuff, designing woodwork (I built a dog proof litter box for the cats that slides out so it's easy to clean), & I'm a hell of a cook.  Like seriously, if restaurants didn't have a 95% failure rate I'd open one. 

8. I know it isn't the most efficient, although I do drive it very conservatively & get about 29 mpg.  I do own it outright though, so I don't have to make payments on it.  It needs some work done to it before I can legally sell it in CA.  I'm not sure I could sell it for enough to afford a new car & avoid payments.


In general, the advice has been:
Tell my gf to give up on her dream job & get a real one. 
Move away & get a better job for me.  So, triple my costs, even though there's no way I'm going to be able to triple my pay.  At best I've only ever made about $35k/year.  I have no rent, no utilities.  Even if we both got jobs elsewhere, we'd have to pay more for healthcare, more for childcare, etc. 

This is great advice, & none of it applies to my two questions.  I don't know why I even put this up.

Is there another city where your girlfriend could get paid during her tattoo internship?  (Probably not, but it's worth looking, right?)

Don't be too down on her parents for not babysitting for free.  Though it would be nice for you two if they did, it isn't their child, and they are already letting you live with them rent-free.

Food:
Could you itemize a week or two of food for us?  We may have ideas on how to cut costs.
Not everyone in the house needs to eat the same as you, right?  Can you make Keto food for yourself and bulk things out with rice, pasta, etc. for the rest of the family?
Can you make pho at home and save a little that way?

With your skill set, I'm wondering if you could make good money building custom, wooden-box computers to sell on Etsy or EBay.  There's got to be a way to market those skills to people outside of the desert.  What about you and GF going in together on an Etsy shop?  You make wooden cabinets/cutting boards/hair combs and she uses her artistic skills to burn designs into them.  People's initials in fancy script?  Custom graphics?

For your girlfriend, there are part-time jobs that don't involve huge crowds, if that is her main trigger (if it's not the stress of handling training + job).  For your girlfriend - nighttime security guard?  Night-time clerk at a gas station or convenience store?  Minimal interaction with people, steady hours, maybe more pay for pulling second or third shift.  People are suggesting things because we get a surprising number of posters who say something is "out of the question" because of silly reasons ("That's what poor people do."  "I have a degree; I shouldn't have to work food service."  "My family expects me to support my three layabout siblings at a higher standard of living than I have because I'm the oldest.").

What would it cost to repair it?  What would it sell for?  We don't want you to get a new car.  We want you to get a used car with 70K miles and 40 mpg.  For example, we just bought DBF an old Toyota Echo early last year.  It was cheap (like, $3K cheap), it runs well, and it gets excellent mileage.  Your current car is none of those things.  What about not repairing it and selling it out of state?  With a fancy low-efficiency car like that, you are going to be running into higher costs on everything than you would with an ugly, cheap, efficient, reliable car.

*snip*
MMM is a great blog & I have much respect for the man himself, but you & him are all discussing problems like what to do with your income of two months that's roughly what I make in a year.  I'm obviously in the wrong place & I get that. 
Moving on, I'll figure it out.  No need to give me any more 'help', I'm good. Thank you.

People here run the gamut between $XXX,000 per year income and $X,000 per year income.  Yes, there are people talking about advanced tax strategies for $XXX,000, but there are also people sleeping in cars or on sofas to make ends meet/finally get out of the red/pay off debt and people discussing good beans and rice recipes (and I know you can't have rice, but you get my gist, right?).

Part of people's goals is to try to help you think of things that haven't occurred to you.  If you knew all the answers, why would you come to us?  And, because we are not you and don't know all that you know, we will have some suggestions that just won't work.