Author Topic: Advise Before I do something stupid  (Read 5216 times)

2Old2RE

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Advise Before I do something stupid
« on: July 31, 2018, 09:34:13 PM »
Wife and I are 54. 1 child going to be a senior in HS this fall. No debt at all. Both working. Wife brings home about 18k / year. I gross 65 - 75k / year depending on bonus and OT. Been currently maxing out my 401K each year with catch up to the tune of 24500 / year. Heres the main issue I HHAAAATTTEEE my job. Hate the company I work for, hate the people I work with. Unfortunately in our low cost of living area there are not alot of jobs to choose from and even less to none at what I am currently making.

We have no planned budget and never have....

Utilities around 150 month
Water 50 month
Internet 73 month
Cell phone $140 month
Between groceries and eating out we blow through 400 month
Gas for the cars runs about 200 month

Home insurance runs 2,000 / year
Property tax 2150 / year
Car insurance 1681 / year

We have:

702K in my 401K

116K in Roths and IRAs

50K in savings and checking

20K in a 429 for daughters college



I am currently taking some time off of work to clear my head and ponder the future. Did I mention I hate my job? I really feel its starting to effect my health and mental well being. Thinking maybe I could just find some slacker job to bring in some day to day money and of course the all important health insurance which my wife, at least right now, is not eligible for at her employer. I do have a small side hustle that depending on effort I put into it could bring in around 10 - 15K / year. I will be eligible for a small pension from my company at some point in time plus my wife will have a small amount of public employee retirement as well as SS for both of us. Also thinking of tossing in the towel, live on what we can scrape in, buy some health insurance month to month. I feel we live somewhat frugally, no cable tv, newest vehicle is 8 years old, no plans to trade vehicles or upscale our lifestyle. I REEAAALLLYY want to go back to work in 2 weeks and tell them to stick it.

Talk me down

WWYD?

markbike528CBX

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #1 on: July 31, 2018, 09:56:57 PM »
mmm... 2000/year insurance only in LCOL?  Unless you have a McMansion, in the path of a fire, seems high.
I pay 495/year on $250K coverage, with auto and claim discounts that would otherwise make it 900/year.

On the other hand, with a teen driver the auto insurance seems low.

Other than that and no budget the NW seems OK, if a light on non-taxables.

2Old2RE

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #2 on: July 31, 2018, 10:11:08 PM »
Yes I fat fingered that its 1,000 / year.
How do you find insurance that cheap? Although we do live on an acreage and have some out buildings...

Car insurance (2 cars and a pickup) is fairly minimal, mostly liability. Good driver and female honor student discounts. No claims for over 10 years.
« Last Edit: July 31, 2018, 10:13:03 PM by 2Old2RE »

reeshau

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #3 on: August 01, 2018, 01:48:55 AM »
One detail you hinted at is college.  What are your daughter's plans?  I see you have some savings in a 529, and she is a senior.  Does she get the 529, and she pays the rest of the way?  She's an honors student; do you have scholarships lined up?  Is she looking at some other career alternative?

It's hard to say you can tell them to stick it when you are about to plunge into the world of higher education.  Maybe in 4 years?  At the very least, your daughter may feel directly impacted by your decision.  Of course she would be, anyway, but if this decision goes against the expectations you have set for her, then she should have a voice in the decision--you need her buy-in.

You are old enough that you could access your 401k through 72t payments.  But in any case, your income is about to go down drastically.  That could spell big trouble unless you get the discipline of being on a budget.  If you can't get to that in one leap, then just try living on your projected new income for a month or two--see what it would feel like.

MarciaB

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #4 on: August 01, 2018, 02:22:31 PM »
It seems to me, looking at your amassed savings, that you and your wife are fairly reasonable about spending (based on your incomes and then looking at savings, you probably have a decent savings rate).

My first thought was to just say yes, go ahead and step off the hellish spin that is your job. Enjoy your child's last year at home, get a smaller/part-time gig that makes up for the spending that your wife's income doesn't cover.

But then...well, you really don't have a big enough cushion to manage a full retirement and college costs. You're sort of on the cusp but without any real margin for error. Not good (enough).

But then...I go back to my original thinking that you need to step off that job and settle into a smaller/lesser one. So can you maybe hold out until a natural break in the fiscal year - the Q4 end for your employer, or right before the holidays or something? Yes, it's longer than a 2-week notice, but it will give you time to live on your projected income for a couple of months (as reeshau wisely says) and wrap up any projects at work that you need to. What's 100 days from now... just before the 3-day Veteran's Day holiday weekend in November. Can you maybe target that in your mind (don't give notice yet) and "practice" thinking about yourself as not working there, tracking your expenses, and all the rest?

wordnerd

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #5 on: August 01, 2018, 04:07:09 PM »
Between your wife's income, your side gig, and social security in a little over a decade, it looks pretty safe to me. I agree with previous posters that you should track your expenses (even retroactively) and account for college and any future real estate needs, but it seems feasible to me.

dandarc

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #6 on: August 01, 2018, 04:14:53 PM »
Maybe I'm reading this wrong but it looks like your stash will throw off approx $35k/year and you have current expenses around $21k/year. So technically you are FI and can RE depending on projected future expenses like health insurance and kids college.
This - if there aren't big things missing from the spending reported and no plans to increase it substantially in retirement, OP is already FI.

markbike528CBX

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #7 on: August 01, 2018, 05:30:50 PM »
Yes I fat fingered that its 1,000 / year.
How do you find insurance that cheap? Although we do live on an acreage and have some out buildings...

Car insurance (2 cars and a pickup) is fairly minimal, mostly liability. Good driver and female honor student discounts. No claims for over 10 years.

The joint accounts credit (2 cars 2 motorcycles) helps.  Also I have a 12K deductible (5%), which probably helps.

2Old2RE

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #8 on: August 01, 2018, 09:15:26 PM »
Wow, now THATS a deductable!

2Old2RE

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #9 on: August 01, 2018, 09:17:28 PM »
Thanks for all the replies. What it boils down to the money thing doesn't bother me at all. The health insurance thing scares the daylights outta me.

MrThatsDifferent

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #10 on: August 01, 2018, 09:39:40 PM »
Dude, you have around $800k, low expenses and your wife and your side hustle bring in $33k a year. How is that more than enough?  Iím presuming you own your home and have nothing to pay on it? Your only concerns now are healthcare and your childís college. $20k ainít much for college, but it seems you could giver her $10-15k a year for 4 years and still be fine.

Iíd quit and never look back.

2Old2RE

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #11 on: August 02, 2018, 07:40:16 AM »
Quote
Dude, you have around $800k, low expenses and your wife and your side hustle bring in $33k a year. How is that more than enough?  Iím presuming you own your home and have nothing to pay on it? Your only concerns now are healthcare and your childís college. $20k ainít much for college, but it seems you could giver her $10-15k a year for 4 years and still be fine.

Iíd quit and never look back.


Its all about that insurance thing and the "what if?"

If I toss in the towel what do I do for health insurance? I have looked at some options but talk about confusing.

What if somebody has major a major health problem? We wreck all three vehicles in the same week? The stock market collapses?

The dear wife says shes OK with whatever I do but I do wonder how long that would last with her still getting up and going to work everyday and me having the freedom to do whatever.

We were planning on building a new garage in the very near future and that would be a big drain but being home I could build it myself other than the foundation.

And yes college for the dear daughter is still a massive unknown. Actually that 20K is just a rounding but I am pretty certain its more than 20 but less than 30. Will have to  get some current statements.

Finally we do have alot of unnecessary assets and "toys" that need a new home. Imagine I could raise an extra 25 - 35K by selling off but that would take time. (just stuck $200 in my pocket from Craigslist this morning)

And yes we own our home and have just completed extensive remodeling (yes it is all paid for)

mbl

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #12 on: August 02, 2018, 08:39:20 AM »
I don't see any expenses listed for
house maintenance
clothing
medicine
gifts
travel
car maintenance
new car savings
any extra expenses for your kid(activities, school expenses..etc.)
leisure activities
eating out
travel

dandarc

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #13 on: August 02, 2018, 09:44:24 AM »
Thanks for all the replies. What it boils down to the money thing doesn't bother me at all. The health insurance thing scares the daylights outta me.
If you retire, you'll either want your income to be low enough for Medicaid or be sure to earn enough to get ACA subsidies. ACA was a gift to low-income early retirees - guaranteed issuance plus subsidies that get the cost of good insurance quite low. I don't see anything in what you've presented that would indicate you'll have a high income in retirement.

One nice thing when you retire with sufficiently low expenses - you can basically set your income to whatever it needs to be to optimize your situation.

2Old2RE

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #14 on: August 02, 2018, 09:45:48 AM »
Quote
I don't see any expenses listed for
house maintenance
clothing
medicine
gifts
travel
car maintenance
new car savings
any extra expenses for your kid(activities, school expenses..etc.)
leisure activities
eating out
travel

And you're right. Not having a budget money just kind of goes where ever. The eating out was rolled into the "food" above. I do all the vehicle maintenance so generally its minimal but occasionally biggies do come up such as the set of tires for the pickup recently. Daughter is working (and has since she was 14) and takes care of alot of her own stuff. Clothing is not a major thing either as we are both blue collar and don't get into the fancy threads thing. Most of our clothes come from Christmas presents. Gifts are minimal too as we just buy gifts for the very close circle of our small families and know we don't spend over $500 a year and probably closer to $300. We don't have any expensive hobbies or leisure activities in fact one hobby brings in money.

Stinks not having a budget or tracking expenses over time. Problem is the money is always there, if we need/want something we buy it. But I don't feel at all that we toss money around on stupid stuff.

dandarc

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #15 on: August 02, 2018, 10:00:26 AM »
You could start keeping a log of your expenses for the next several months just to be sure you don't have any big leaks -

Doesn't need to be complicated - whenever money is spent, write down when, how much and for what. Important for everyone in the household to do the tracking. At least everyone who is spending out of the same bucket anyway.

DragonSlayer

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #16 on: August 02, 2018, 10:14:07 AM »
I'm a cautious person and was in your boat not that long ago (job I despised, close to FI but not quite there, etc.). What I would do is this:

Set a date a year from now that you plan to leave. Mark it on the calendar. During that year:

Stash as much as you can, optimize your expenses, sell the stuff that needs selling, maximize the side hustle, etc.
Tack ALL of your spending to make sure everything is accounted for.
Take that time to do your research on health insurance, tax brackets, etc... Anything you need to know in order to fully maximize your stash in retirement.
Use your health insurance to get anything taken care of that you know needs taking care of. Physicals, procedures that might be helpful but aren't necessary, etc.
Get a firmer handle on what your daughter will do for school.
Fill in all the "what if's," as best you can. Sure, you can't predict everything, but you can get closer than you are now.

At the end of that year, you'll know. You'll know whether you can really make it work. Heck, you may know beforehand and then you can move your quitting timetable up. But you'll know more than you know now and you'll be way more comfortable with your decision.

Plus, having that year on the calendar is hugely motivating. Knowing that there's a definite "out" plan will drive you to make all the moves you need to make and do it in an orderly fashion instead of just flailing about in desperation.

2Old2RE

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #17 on: August 04, 2018, 07:23:00 AM »
I will start tracking expenses Monday AM. Wife is gone for the weekend visiting family so will get her on board as soon she gets home Sunday night. We have tried it for awhile in the past but gave up after a few weeks of saving receipts.

I have had a couple of job interviews, not sure how serious they were or I am about them. Going to start shedding some of the toys and extras around here starting today.

Its going to be depressing going back to the hell hole. Sometimes I wonder if the time will ever be right to leave the circus. Not sure I will ever have the guts to leap off into the unknown.

I know I am sitting way to aggressive in my 401K as alot of it is in a downturn and as a whole is doing less than 2% this year to date. In fact it is down 4K from when I started this to 698K. Sometimes I feel relying on investments for income will always be feast or famine which is scary when there is no other major income source. Maybe I am destined to work until I'm 68 like my Dad did.

And yeah I'm in a funk this morning......

RedwoodDreams

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #18 on: August 04, 2018, 12:08:04 PM »
Don't spiral! Take heart in the fact that you are nearly there, if not already there, and you just need to solidify plans at this point. Congratulations!

Maybe just holding that thought can help you survive at work temporarily while you firm up your exit plans.

Those of us in this 50s age group definitely have to worry about the health insurance black hole. Have you looked at an ACA calculator to see what insurance might cost in your state? (https://www.kff.org/interactive/subsidy-calculator/)   If you can get your income looking low enough, you might qualify for some hefty subsidies. With your assets, I don't think you would ever qualify for Medi-Caid, but seems you should qualify for an ACA subsidy unless you're in a state without a lot of options. Try looking at what your options are if you're living on just your wife's salary (minus things like IRA contributions, HSA contributions, which reduce taxable income).

As for picking up extra money in retirement, if you like animals, there is an avalanche of money to be made in pet care, dog walking, pet sitting. Side bonus of dog walking is the free fitness membership. I started doing this a few years ago and I have to turn people down now, there's so much work. People generally no longer want to put their pets in kennels when they travel, preferring the pet to be in someone else's home or their own home. I put an ad on craigslist and one on nextdoor, and kabloom. $1000/month easily, and probably could double or triple that if I wanted to.

ETA: An easy way to track all spending is to put it all on one or two credit cards and then review at the end of the month. No fumbling with receipts.

2Old2RE

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #19 on: August 04, 2018, 02:34:50 PM »
And we do use the credit card for most purchases (don't have to carry cash & 1% - 3% cash back)

Meanwhile the Craigslist thing is working well. Enclosed trailer just now went out the driveway and I'm up 2K : )
« Last Edit: August 04, 2018, 02:38:28 PM by 2Old2RE »

MrThatsDifferent

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #20 on: August 04, 2018, 04:01:23 PM »
I will start tracking expenses Monday AM. Wife is gone for the weekend visiting family so will get her on board as soon she gets home Sunday night. We have tried it for awhile in the past but gave up after a few weeks of saving receipts.

I have had a couple of job interviews, not sure how serious they were or I am about them. Going to start shedding some of the toys and extras around here starting today.

Its going to be depressing going back to the hell hole. Sometimes I wonder if the time will ever be right to leave the circus. Not sure I will ever have the guts to leap off into the unknown.

I know I am sitting way to aggressive in my 401K as alot of it is in a downturn and as a whole is doing less than 2% this year to date. In fact it is down 4K from when I started this to 698K. Sometimes I feel relying on investments for income will always be feast or famine which is scary when there is no other major income source. Maybe I am destined to work until I'm 68 like my Dad did.

And yeah I'm in a funk this morning......

Honestly, youíre doing this to yourself. Iíve seen this so much here, the I hate work, have tons for retirement, live frugally but scared to pull the trigger, while still complaining. Be brave for the sake of your own sanity and mental health. Be brave. Sure, all of those what ifs could happen and also, so what? You can handle it because youíre smart and resourceful. Create solutions to the what ifís, back up plans and contingencies but donít keep wallowing in helplessness because youíre not helpless. Be brave. Then, be free.

2Old2RE

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #21 on: August 05, 2018, 03:50:11 PM »
Quote
Honestly, youíre doing this to yourself. Iíve seen this so much here, the I hate work, have tons for retirement, live frugally but scared to pull the trigger, while still complaining. Be brave for the sake of your own sanity and mental health. Be brave. Sure, all of those what ifs could happen and also, so what? You can handle it because youíre smart and resourceful. Create solutions to the what ifís, back up plans and contingencies but donít keep wallowing in helplessness because youíre not helpless. Be brave. Then, be free.

Sweet Jesus that might be the most sage advice I have ever received in my life. Tottering on the razors edge and starting to loose my balance....

MrThatsDifferent

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #22 on: August 06, 2018, 02:28:48 PM »
Quote
Honestly, youíre doing this to yourself. Iíve seen this so much here, the I hate work, have tons for retirement, live frugally but scared to pull the trigger, while still complaining. Be brave for the sake of your own sanity and mental health. Be brave. Sure, all of those what ifs could happen and also, so what? You can handle it because youíre smart and resourceful. Create solutions to the what ifís, back up plans and contingencies but donít keep wallowing in helplessness because youíre not helpless. Be brave. Then, be free.

Sweet Jesus that might be the most sage advice I have ever received in my life. Tottering on the razors edge and starting to loose my balance....

Happy to share then. And if you really feel like that, you might consider taking a break and also finding a counselor to talk with because there might be more going on that you need to get off your chest. If it were me, Iíd immediately take a 2-3 week vacation with yourself or your favorite people and go somewhere, clear your head and imagine what life would be like without the stress of work. Then, make decisions. You really need perspective and confidence in yourself. It was you that brought yourself this far. You. You got this!

2Old2RE

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #23 on: August 10, 2018, 05:00:34 PM »
Update.
I have found a job for considerably less money. Probably about half what I was making but will have the health insurance thing covered. I am on the verge of accepting it and getting on a good budget.
But then I get wishy washy thinking I should stick it out and throw everything I have as far as overtime into the job I have now and gather up all the money I can.
Will talk to the wife when she gets home tonight.
But a safe bet is that I am changing jobs.....

AccidentalMiser

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #24 on: August 10, 2018, 05:13:02 PM »
Update.
I have found a job for considerably less money. Probably about half what I was making but will have the health insurance thing covered. I am on the verge of accepting it and getting on a good budget.
But then I get wishy washy thinking I should stick it out and throw everything I have as far as overtime into the job I have now and gather up all the money I can.
Will talk to the wife when she gets home tonight.
But a safe bet is that I am changing jobs.....
Good. 

I just found this post.  I read this thread quickly so I may have missed some details.  I see that you have 700k in your 401k.  Presumably, this is split between you and your wife?  Are you aware of the 55 year old retirement rule related to 401k money?  In short, if you retire from the company where your 401k money is, you can withdraw it without having to pay the 10% penalty during or after the year in which you turn 55.

If you're taking another job, you should look into transferring your 401k balance(s) to your new company if you can.

Anyway, there's a lot more to it but I'd hate for you to bail at 54 without realizing that this allowance exists.

Best of luck to you. 

If it were me, I'd quit, too.  But I might wait until January!

stoaX

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #25 on: August 10, 2018, 05:26:15 PM »
Update.
I have found a job for considerably less money. Probably about half what I was making but will have the health insurance thing covered. I am on the verge of accepting it and getting on a good budget.
But then I get wishy washy thinking I should stick it out and throw everything I have as far as overtime into the job I have now and gather up all the money I can.
Will talk to the wife when she gets home tonight.
But a safe bet is that I am changing jobs.....

Best of luck with making the decision!  I'm close to your age and about to retire (next March), and the health insurance stuff worries me way more than the money.  So having that covered would make me feel better.

Goldy

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #26 on: August 12, 2018, 06:22:26 PM »
If you sign up for mint (free) they do a pretty good job of entering all of your past expenditures so itís an easy way to get some good budget data.

theotherelise

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #27 on: August 13, 2018, 09:26:46 AM »
I stayed in a job I hated for over four years because it paid well and had amazing insurance (100% covered premiums for me and spouse and only $600 deductible) and I was trying to vest in the really solid pension. I found a job in the same pension system that I like so much more and while it was a small pay cut and larger benefits cut, we've adjusted well to high-deductible and HSA living. The quality of life change was more than worth the loss in income.

I looked at this comic from xkcd frequently while job searching and it really helped me take the leap: https://xkcd.com/1768/

If I were you, I'd take the new job. The health insurance gap is scary to me too and I disagree with the practice of using medicaid if you're an able-bodied and employable adult with over 700k in assets.

Laura33

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #28 on: August 13, 2018, 10:23:36 AM »
You have done well to this point, which says that your basic lifestyle and instincts and habits are good.  But a big part of your fear is coming from not knowing.  And that's a reasonable fear, because you don't actually know.  You have been planning on one path, and now you are fed up and are debating a complete 180, but you don't know much of anything about your current or future costs to tell you whether that new path is even doable.  IMO it would be unreasonable not to be scared at this point.

But that doesn't mean you just say, oh well, guess I'd better go back to the original path -- that would just be stupid (hmm, if I fail and have to go back to work, I will be miserable, so better just to lock in that misery and stay at my current job).  What you want to do is start converting those "unknowns" to "knowns":  use your time to investigate and learn all the stuff you don't know now -- how much you spend, what the medical insurance options are, what college is going to cost, what your future SS/pension will be at different times, etc. etc. etc. 

So by all means, take the new job, for now.  Unless you are on the point of starvation or homelessness, no job is worth daily misery.  And then commit to a minimum of say 6-9 months there to see how you like it.  And then over the course of that 6-9 months, teach yourself what RE would actually look like for you:
  • You track your expenses, using YNAB, Mint, a ledger book -- whatever works for you.
  • You investigate medical insurance options and costs
  • You talk to your wife about how long she wants to continue working
  • You investigate your options for withdrawing your 401(k), and you run spreadsheets and models where you can evaluate the effect of taking SS/pensions/401(k) withdrawals at different ages
  • You run some net cost calculators for your daughter's college options.  And conveniently, if you commit to another 9 months of work, by the time you approach your target date, you will know what college will cost, because she will have offers and financial aid packages in front of her, and you can revise your plan to take that into account.*
I suspect that at the end of that 6-9 months, you will discover that you have sufficient assets to FIRE immediately. But the best news is that you also won't be nearly as afraid of making that leap, because you will have many fewer unknowns -- and you will have the confidence that you have sufficient assets and skills to manage whatever comes up.  I mean, sure, you can never know if health insurance premiums are going to go up.  But if you have flexibility in your budget, you know that you will be able to manage if they do.

*FWIW, our RE plans coincide with the spring of our youngest kid's senior year in HS, not when he graduates from college.  Because by May of his senior year, we will know where he is going to college, how much money he needs to go there, and how much we have saved to cover that.  Worst-case, if we're short, we work another 6 months or so to make up the difference.

markbike528CBX

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #29 on: August 13, 2018, 10:29:41 AM »
snip......

I looked at this comic from xkcd frequently while job searching and it really helped me take the leap: https://xkcd.com/1768/

snip.

Wish I had seen this xkcd last summer, would have made the FIREing much more certain.

begood

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #30 on: August 13, 2018, 11:34:50 AM »
I just turned 54, so I feel you on the "RE sounds great right up until I remember the health insurance aspect" thing.

Taking a job with less stress and less pay but family health insurance provided sounds like a GREAT option right now, with the big unknown of your daughter's college expenses. At a state school, $20K might get you two years' costs if she doesn't live in a dorm. College is really freakin' expensive, less so if she lives at home, goes to community college for a couple of years, or goes to a state school that has low in-state tuition. Problem is some states (North Carolina, for example) have been cutting their state funding to state colleges and universities, so even in-state is higher than it used to be.

Have you started talking with your daughter about college costs, her expectations, your expectations? If not, this is the time to do it.

BicycleB

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #31 on: August 13, 2018, 01:30:30 PM »
Hi, @2Old2RE.  Early 50s here, FIREd a few years ago by getting canned at old job... after some time, I realized I was FIR.  The emotions were hard at first, especially the fear, but as I got through them, I realized I was fine.

Offering strong support for @Laura33's advice to get yourself real data on your actual expenses, and your health insurance options.  Information is the sunlight that can reduce fears to their logical minimum.

Reading between the lines, it sounds like the main driver and the main roadblock for you is emotional.   The second consideration is your wife.  You appear to be in the ballpark of FIR and have good options from an objective standpoint, but I find it concerning that you are preparing to leave a rare job while not knowing your own costs. The health insurance marketplace is confusing at first but understandable once you keep at it. My ACA policies have worked out very well for what that's worth.

Anyway, give yourself a calm pace to maintain and build emotional health. Guessing based on the numbers you gave, any decision you make is likely to work if you implement it reasonably and adjust wisely. I suspect any input from your spouse will be super valuable too. Thank her for flexibility and caring!

I have no way of knowing if the old job is a hellhole that any human would detest (screaming supervisors, physical danger, beatings, morally repugnant work, extreme temperatures, lots of threats and backstabbing, impossible deadlines) or a perfectly decent place that you have developed a personal dislike for, or something in between. But 6 to 9 months like Laura33 says is probably something that you can survive just fine by taking charge of your financial specifics, facing your fears, and knowing that you will have a safe decision in a finite time.

Good luck re new job, old job or FIR, or whichever particular choices you do. The world isn't ending in any case. You have built a fine set of savings. You'll explore your options and make a decision, probably a wise one. I'm rooting for you!
« Last Edit: August 13, 2018, 01:46:12 PM by BicycleB »

Finances_With_Purpose

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #32 on: August 15, 2018, 12:21:50 AM »
You could start keeping a log of your expenses for the next several months just to be sure you don't have any big leaks -

Doesn't need to be complicated - whenever money is spent, write down when, how much and for what. Important for everyone in the household to do the tracking. At least everyone who is spending out of the same bucket anyway.

This.  Others have covered the rest.  You want to feel better about it and know where you are: so track expenses.  That and only that will tell you what you're spending.

Then you can assess the future needs.  You have lots of in-between options, as others have suggested: you can set yourself up for health care options through the government or work at a different, low-paying job that you might enjoy more (or at least not hate) that provides insurance. 

mbl

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #33 on: August 15, 2018, 05:54:00 AM »
I will start tracking expenses Monday AM. Wife is gone for the weekend visiting family so will get her on board as soon she gets home Sunday night. We have tried it for awhile in the past but gave up after a few weeks of saving receipts.

I have had a couple of job interviews, not sure how serious they were or I am about them. Going to start shedding some of the toys and extras around here starting today.

Its going to be depressing going back to the hell hole. Sometimes I wonder if the time will ever be right to leave the circus. Not sure I will ever have the guts to leap off into the unknown.

I know I am sitting way to aggressive in my 401K as alot of it is in a downturn and as a whole is doing less than 2% this year to date. In fact it is down 4K from when I started this to 698K. Sometimes I feel relying on investments for income will always be feast or famine which is scary when there is no other major income source. Maybe I am destined to work until I'm 68 like my Dad did.

And yeah I'm in a funk this morning......

Honestly, youíre doing this to yourself. Iíve seen this so much here, the I hate work, have tons for retirement, live frugally but scared to pull the trigger, while still complaining. Be brave for the sake of your own sanity and mental health. Be brave. Sure, all of those what ifs could happen and also, so what? You can handle it because youíre smart and resourceful. Create solutions to the what ifís, back up plans and contingencies but donít keep wallowing in helplessness because youíre not helpless. Be brave. Then, be free.

Well said.....advice that many of us here need to consider.

2Old2RE

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #34 on: August 23, 2018, 04:09:00 PM »
Update:
THANKS SO MUCH for all the replies, excellent advice and points to ponder. Geesh you all seem like old friends...
Here is what is happening. Talked in depth to the folks at the new prospective job and decided between the lower pay, the dismal benefits plus the added drive it wasn't for me. I think they were less than happy with me and that bridge is no doubt burned. Went back to old job and yes its even worse now. And after thinking over what BicycleB said:
Quote
I have no way of knowing if the old job is a hellhole that any human would detest (screaming supervisors, physical danger, beatings, morally repugnant work, extreme temperatures, lots of threats and backstabbing, impossible deadlines) or a perfectly decent place that you have developed a personal dislike for, or something in between.
Its probably the something in between. Everybody there gripes but some people get along ok there. I seem to be the target for the arrogant supervisors and the surreal amount of backstabbing.
None the less, talked it over with the wife and we are now tracking expenses 100% getting receipts for everything. I have tryed to impress on her that we need to live and spend just how we have, not fore going anything that we normally would spend on so we get a realistic, sustainable grasp of what we are spending and where it goes.
We are also shucking alot of excess toys and "stuff" we have around here. I have definitely turned the corner as far as material possessions verses financial independence.
My light at the end of the tunnel is July 1st, 2019. By then I will be 55 (Rule of 55 401K withdrawals if we need to) have a very good idea of college expenses and our monthly expenses as well as time to scrape together as much cash as we can.
Now if I can just get through each work day with a reasonable attitude and don't develop ulcers.
Wish me luck....

dandarc

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #35 on: August 23, 2018, 04:38:48 PM »
Good luck. And if you find it hard to do this:

Quote
Now if I can just get through each work day with a reasonable attitude and don't develop ulcers.

Remember you can always get another job.

CoffeeR

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #36 on: August 23, 2018, 08:50:30 PM »
My light at the end of the tunnel is July 1st, 2019. By then I will be 55 (Rule of 55 401K withdrawals if we need to) have a very good idea of college expenses and our monthly expenses as well as time to scrape together as much cash as we can.
I was going to post about the rule of 55 but you know about it already. You are aware that the rule of 55 applies for the year you turn 55? So if you turn 55 in 2019, you can leave your job in Jan 2019 at age 54. Double check on this, but I am pretty sure I am right.

lhamo

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #37 on: August 24, 2018, 06:03:59 AM »
My light at the end of the tunnel is July 1st, 2019. By then I will be 55 (Rule of 55 401K withdrawals if we need to) have a very good idea of college expenses and our monthly expenses as well as time to scrape together as much cash as we can.
I was going to post about the rule of 55 but you know about it already. You are aware that the rule of 55 applies for the year you turn 55? So if you turn 55 in 2019, you can leave your job in Jan 2019 at age 54. Double check on this, but I am pretty sure I am right.

I was going to mention this, too. My sister also has a July birthday and was very happy to learn she can potentially unlock her 401k funds several months earlier.

markbike528CBX

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #38 on: August 24, 2018, 08:05:45 AM »
My light at the end of the tunnel is July 1st, 2019. By then I will be 55 (Rule of 55 401K withdrawals if we need to) have a very good idea of college expenses and our monthly expenses as well as time to scrape together as much cash as we can.
I was going to post about the rule of 55 but you know about it already. You are aware that the rule of 55 applies for the year you turn 55? So if you turn 55 in 2019, you can leave your job in Jan 2019 at age 54. Double check on this, but I am pretty sure I am right.

I was going to mention this, too. My sister also has a July birthday and was very happy to learn she can potentially unlock her 401k funds several months earlier.

While the IRS allows no penalty withdrawals from 401(k) accounts by the 55 rule, the 401(k) plan might not allow partial (periodic) withdrawals before 59.5.  Sorry for the downner.   This is the reason I didn't  bother staying until 55.

lhamo

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Re: Advise Before I do something stupid
« Reply #39 on: August 25, 2018, 12:54:28 AM »
All the better reason to check the plan to find out.