A long commute, especially if undertaken alone in a car, is one of the scientifically best-proven ways to reduce your happiness. One study claims that cutting an hour-each-way commute out of your life will improve your happiness equivalently to a $40,000 raise.
This is the video I originally heard this from, but it has tons of sources in the description if you don't feel like listening to Hank Green talk:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Am-6-jzR68MMM says "Each mile you live from work steals $795 per year from you in commuting costs."
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/10/06/the-true-cost-of-commuting/Maybe you don't agree with his exact figuring, but it's a worthwhile exercise to remind you that there are costs to driving besides just gas - on your wallet as well as your health and happiness. And his calculations assume that you're driving somewhat economically in a reasonable car. But they also assume your time is worth $25/per hour and figures that into the cost. What does the math look like if we pretend your time is not intrinsically worth anything and only look at the $$$?
The IRS says that driving costs about $0.51 per mile, on average for Americans, including gas and wear and tear. $0.51 * 81 miles * 3 days a week * 50 weeks per year = $6196.50. You're talking about saving $8640 per year in rent. By living far away from this great job, you're saving $2443.50. In a year. For 2.5 hours a day, 3 days a week, 50 weeks a year, your commute would be saving you $6.50/hour.
You're worth more than $6.50/hour.
Even if you are an expert ultramiler and can bring your driving costs down to MMM levels of $0.17 per mile, your 12,150 mile annual commute is costing $2065.50, you're saving $6574.50, and your 375 driving hours are earning back $17.50 each. That's a wage that would earn you $35k a year at full time employment. Is your time worth more than that? Whoever's offering you a $33k raise seems to think so.
I think you're getting stuck on these two great but incompatible options (cheap rent and better job) you have in front of you, and you're overvaluing those to the detriment of opportunities you haven't investigated yet: finding closer housing to the great job or finding a better job close to the cheap housing. (I believe there is a name for this cognitive bias, but I don't recall it right this moment.) As you can see, you can be flexible with some of those decisions and still come out ahead: spending an extra $2443.50 per year out of your new $33k-fatter paycheck earns you 375 hours back every year. $6.50/hour is a pretty good price to buy your own time; it's a terrible price to sell it for.
