I want to be clear on something I've probably not stated. DW and I are
not unhappy. In general, we feel like we've cultivated a near perfect life. Sorry if that doesn't come across; I hate text/email/print... as it doesn't carry tone well. I'm just tired of feeling like the project list is piling up and I'm only completing the bare minimum, and was hoping for some ideas for places to look. Honestly, I'm finding many great suggestions here, and several that I'm actually going to look into implementing. An example of a project that has been put off 3 years too long: my cellar *could* get water if the sump pump stopped working. I have something like 12-18 pallets that I got at an auction to put under everything just in case, I EVEN RINSED THEM OFF AND MOVED THEM TO THE BASEMENT ALREADY!!! I just need about 3 SOLID days to organize basement and get everything off the ground, or 1 day if I JUST get everything off the ground. With the way things are going, it's likely that this year, next, or 5 years from now the sump will have an issue and we'll be picking stuff off the floor to dry it out instead of doing it AHEAD. (I DO check the sump yearly/multiple times a year for proper operation but unless I rig up an alarm... like the roost one I looked at today... I can't be confident my sump won't quit working suddenly and take me a day or two to notice.)
@Zikoris & others: I see a lot of people mention the bills. Nothing automatically leaves accounts without my permissions, however as much as I can they are all online. The term "bills" in our house REALLY means, office work. Actually paying bills is really 2 hours a month. The rest is going through junk mail, researching and ordering online stuff, and my favorite, arguing with medical offices/insurances. In short "Bills" = any type of office work. I'm not saying there isn't improvements to be made, just clarifying that actually PAYING BILLS is not very time consuming. Driving around doing errands related to bills maybe an additional 1 hour a week.
@NotJen: With regards to car maintenance, similar to bills this doesn't ACTUALLY take up much time. I was using it as an example of something that is a skill I can do, that my wife can't much. We have 2 great older reliable vehicles which I've no complaints about. Neither are truly mustachian, but my car was free and DW has worked and saved for too long for me to stuff her in a(nother) 2 door honda civic. We're past that point in our journey. Having said that, at some point, spark plugs and wires becomes general maintenance (before you ruin an ECU), and I'm about 3000 miles overdue. That's going to be a decent morning as on my car I guess you have to rock the engine forward to get to the plugs by the firewall.
@almost everybody: I *hope* that some of the current food failings will get better in a couple months. We are (were?) great meal planners, but DW hasn't had time/energy at the end of the days to cook (I often prep ahead of time). Perhaps crock pot is an answer, but this is an area I'd REALLY like to improve as of late. A couple months ago, we were prepping vegetables for snacking/cooking, making a pot of soup or chili, and maybe making another meal like tacos on Sunday night that would last for the first few days of the week. Thursday/Friday ended up being, "okay what do we need to focus on eating so we don't waste food." With Grandparents close enough to eat dinner with any night DW is tired, planning has been much less useful. We've been doing more cured meats recently to try to allow for less than ideal planning/execution, but while I think carbs are the BIGGEST enemy of healthy, eating Sausages and bacon this often CAN'T be healthy. As I said, I *hope* this is short term.
@Moonwaves: WRT delayed sleep phase disorder. I've seriously considered the possibility, but from all my research I'm thinking it's more likely I either have un-diagnosed sleep apnea (I don't really have the symptoms except that I hate mornings), my body just really functions well on 8+ hours of sleep/loves consistent sleep schedules, or I'm just not a morning person. Even if I DID have delayed sleep phase disorder, the "treatment" for somebody with as mild a case as I'd be classified with is a rigid sleep schedule and slowly working back to a reasonable wake up time (I'm awake at 6:30 - 7 most mornings already).
I'm planning to look up the organized mum method. I'm also seeing that a lot of people here reference outsourcing stuff. Easy target: Floors/Bathrooms/Dusting. I'm thinking if we don't have a better handle on stuff when Maternity leave is done, then this will be the first place to look for some improvements.
@wellactually: I don't think I was clear in what wasn't being accomplished. If we ignore anything more than minor projects, we absolutely can keep our head above water, and will be able to with new baby. I think dishes and laundry would probably build up slightly as the week goes on, but Saturday morning we can solve those things. It's projects that are the things that keep falling behind... The big frustration is that some of the projects are pretty important. 2 Years ago we sanitized our well. Didn't do it last year, and had indicator bacteria in early winter. This CANNOT be put off again and should be completed this spring. Additionally, installing my whole house UV light (bought 3 years ago but wasn't installed) and purchasing a Reverse Osmosis drinking system are pretty important. Also important is replacing all our smoke detectors that don't do carbon monoxide and don't all interconnect properly. Other projects include hanging pictures, installing door stops, simple things that just require a 3-4 hour period set aside to do. Though I assume it goes without saying, this list is FAR FAR FAR far far far from exhaustive.
@Apocalyptica602: I think there might be some time taken for granted on things and that's another great idea I've gotten from this thread. I wonder if I can track screen time usage and see if maybe what I assume is 5-10 hours a week is more. I barely use my cell except to look stuff up (I think), but maybe a tracking app might be eye opening.
@mistymoney: I don't actually find that DW or I have a sleep issue right now. I'm looking at sleep as an obvious place where maybe cutting back a little could be helpful. If new child is anything like the first, then sleep department isn't going to be too bad. (First child slept through the night at 2 weeks old... then never stopped. Also never learned to cry. Literally, made noises to indicate stuff, but didn't cry) Having said that, I definitely think that outsourcing might be a good start.
@wellactually: yeah our schedules make it hard to be productive on a daily basis. No current plan to change anything but definitely could look into adjustments. With regards to working part time, it's not something we could likely do with our existing jobs. It IS basically what would happen if I left my job. If I wasn't working on projects (I suspect project work would slow down after a few months of catch-up) I'd probably develop side work. Maybe pick up a house to renovate and rent/sell, maybe even grab a car that needed a head gasket and make a few grand.
Wow
@Laura33, that's a superb response. I really do feel like my priorities are in the right place but you're accurately pointing out the fact that having priorities right might not be enough. Thank you for your very thoughtful response. With regards to well water, it wasn't a health danger a year ago. Pushing out a year was likely fine, we've been drinking it, but now that we know we've got indicator bacteria, it's gone beyond "nice to have" and come back into the "needs to happen" category. With regards to TV... DW is quite pregnant, and while it's a FAR less than ideal quality time, right now that is our quality time during the week. Usually I'm eating my dinner during this time as well.
WRT tractors and car projects. These honestly don't take up any mental energy and we have the space. These have been safely put in a "when there's time" bucket and I full well know it probably won't be until FIRE that time for these exist. The ONLY time those are problematic is when DW targets them as easy optimization. She's right, we *could* get rid of all my projects that I've collected. It would optimize the look of that portion of our yard... but that's where it ends. We get no more time, and I lose out on a bunch of really cool stuff that I was looking forward to some day.
What I've gotten so far:
1. Continue to stay happy with life because at the end of it all, our life is pretty fucking great. EVERY DAY we live this awesome life. This might not have been said, but it is true and DW and I always try to keep this in mind.
2. A LOT of this is COMPLETELY and totally normal at this point in life. I need to ACCEPT THAT (which I really don't yet)
3. Our schedules aren't optimal for productivity. (Something we likely can't change for about 1 year. Granted 3 months of it will be maternity leave.)
4. Try to outsource anything that is reasonable
5. Organized mum method? (Haven't looked into this year)
6. Meal prep & bulk/batch cooking. Hopefully we can get back on the bandwagon in a little bit once baby arrives
7. Cell phone tracking app?
*One idea I've been toying with for a few weeks now is using FMLA leave in it's entirety this year, and not just the 4 weeks paid paternity. I don't think my employer would be thrilled, but honestly if I use the leave to stay caught up on things that have to happen so that I can be spending that many more hours with my family instead of doing chores/projects...