Your question was broad, and asked for literal first steps, so hopefully I'm not being condescending when I break it down into the very basics. :) If I were you, this is what I would do.
Step 1: Get a job. Your husband first (because if you have less than $5k of savings, and spend $4k a month, a layoff of any length will quickly turn into a bleed of debt accumulation).
Step 2: At said job(s), immediately set up automatic 401(k) deductions that maximize any employer contributions. That's free money. If there is no employer match, I would still set it up for at least 6%. More advanced mustachians might make a different choice if there was no employer match, but I think the 401(k) vehicle is great for people starting out. Contributions are automatic, so it takes your willpower out of the picture, they force you to keep it for retirement, and there are significant tax advantages.
Step 3: Figure out how much money you have per month after the 401(k) deduction. Let's say your husband can get a $75k job, contributes $5k per year to the 401(k), and you take home roughly 70% of that after taxes. That's about 4k per month.
Step 4 (really, don't wait to start this while you do steps 1-3): Track all of your previous spending and figure out where your money is going. $4k is high, but I know some of that is servicing loans and won't last forever. Cut non-essential expenses to the bone. Throw every extra penny at your highest interest debt. If you get a job, live like your husband's income is the only one you have, and use your whole paycheck to aggressively pay down your debt.
Step 5: After your debts are paid off, max out each of your 401(k) contributions. Continue to keep spending low.
Step 6: Eventually you'll have surplus money after your 401(k) is fully funded each year. Look into IRA options, and after that open a brokerage account. This is down the road, so you don't need to get all the details immediately (but keep jlcollinsnh's stock series bookmarked for when you get there).
Good luck!
