Author Topic: Where should we live?  (Read 3369 times)

startingsmall

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Where should we live?
« on: November 23, 2017, 01:45:58 PM »
Where we currently live is not a good fit for us. We're in a rural, small-town, ultra-conservative (80% voted Republican) area of NC. There's not much to do around here - very few parks, not much culture or entertainment unless we drive to the big city an hour away, etc. There is very little emphasis on education. My husband is a pastor and there are VERY few churches in this area that reflect our (more-progressive) theology.... his current job requires us to keep our opinions on MANY issues under wraps, and when he leaves this job, we'll basically have to move if we want to find a church (either as leaders or members) where we can be ourselves and really feel that we're living into God's will for us. (You know, helping 'the least of these' and all of that other stuff that fundamentalist churches tend to find so controversial.)

Also, I get awful seasonal affective disorder every winter.... the happy light doesn't seem to help very much, Vitamin D doesn't help very much, and I don't really want to go on meds if I can avoid it. So I'd love to live somewhere a bit further south, with fewer cloudy days. (I transferred "home" to a Florida college after 1.5 years at a Maryland college because the dreary, cloudy winter was too depressing... not sure why I ever thought NC would be any better/different!!)

We're considering a move in the next couple of years, with our multiple pets and our elementary-school daughter. (We would be about 50% of the way to FIRE by that point, so we'll still need jobs but should have some flexibility.) Whether it actually happens or not, daydreaming keeps me sane... so I'm trying to get ideas of places that I should add to my radar.

My hometown is Sarasota, FL. There are many, many things that appeal to me about that area - beaches, biking opportunities, parks, family/friends in the area, excellent schools, pretty moderate politically (slight right lean, but not as homogenous as where we currently are), etc. My husband is pretty strongly opposed to Sarasota, though, because he views it as a bunch of snooty, rich old folks. I guess that's not an entirely inaccurate stereotype, but seems like a bit of an exaggeration to me. Still hoping that I can someday convince him to give it a chance, but I'm starting to realize it may never happen.

My husband loves Hilton Head, SC. I love it for visits and sometimes daydream about moving there, but it doesn't seem like a very practical option - not many jobs, not very progressive, etc. And it seems kind of ironic, given the fact that Sarasota is vetoed on the basis of snooty rich old folks, that he loves it so much! I do love all of the trees, the nature, the endless bike paths, etc. I just worry that we wouldn't find many people like us, which is one of our big problems in our current location.

My husband has said (when he's not campaigning for Hilton Head) that would prefer a big city. I'm a little ambivalent on that and would maybe prefer a smaller/mid-sized city, but we'll see. Where we live now only has a population of 10,000, so even a smaller city would give us far more variety/opportunity/diversity than what we're accustomed to.

I really want somewhere with biking opportunities.... even if the area isn't bike-friendly enough to shed a car (though that would obviously be my preference), I'd at least like to have greenways, trails, or other options for recreational biking. (I used to bike all of the time in Florida. Where we currently live, that isn't an option unless I drive over an hour to the nearest greenway. All of the roads are two lane roads with no shoulder and 45-65 mph speed limits, and the culture here is that the only good cyclist is a dead cyclist.) 

Ideally, the location would be south of North Carolina (for my SAD), not somewhere ultra-conservative, and on the coast (or at least within an hour or two of it). Our budget for a home would be up to ~$375k (preferably more in the $250k range), so super-duper HCOL areas are out.

Tampa/St Pete is one option that we've added to our short list - I lived there for about a year after college and there were a lot of things that I really liked about the area, even though Tampa itself is a bit farther from the beach than I'd prefer. Husband likes the fact that it's a bigger city and younger than Sarasota.

Jacksonville, FL could be an option, but I've spent some time there and for some reason (that I can't quite put my finger on) never really loved it. But maybe I need to spend more time there or explore different areas of the city?

Gainesville could be an option, but my husband is kind of skeptical for some reasons that are kind of silly but do make sense to me (related to friends of ours that live in the area and a complicated relationship with them). It's also a bit far from the beach, though still definitely close enough for daytrips which would be adequate for me. I haven't spent much time in Tallahassee, but maybe that's worth looking into?

We love Charleston for vacations, but it doesn't seem like the options there (at least in our budget) would really meet what we're looking for? Interested to hear from anyone who lives in that area.

So, wise mustachians, tell me about places you love to live (or would love to live) that are 1) south of NC, 2) near beaches, 3) not-ultra-conservative, 4) outdoorsy & bike-friendly.  I need more cities to research for daydream fuel to help me get through this winter!!



« Last Edit: November 24, 2017, 05:07:39 AM by startingsmall »

ShoulderThingThatGoesUp

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Re: Where should we live?
« Reply #1 on: November 23, 2017, 08:22:38 PM »
Houston? It's bike-friendly in the right spots; the summers are not great but given your parameters that's baked-in.

dang1

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Re: Where should we live?
« Reply #2 on: November 23, 2017, 09:33:02 PM »
Santa Maria, California

startingsmall

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Re: Where should we live?
« Reply #3 on: November 24, 2017, 05:04:57 AM »
Houston? It's bike-friendly in the right spots; the summers are not great but given your parameters that's baked-in.

Thanks! My brother lived in Houston for a while and did seem to enjoy it, but I kind of forgot about it as an option. Will look into it more!!

Santa Maria, California

I've always kind of ruled out the west coast based on the fact that all of our family is on the east coast and visiting them would be so prohibitively expensive. Maybe I need to get over that, though. Also, I've always considered California prohibitively expensive - is that not the case? Will start researching California, too.... thanks for giving me a starting point!!

Nemesis.

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Re: Where should we live?
« Reply #4 on: November 29, 2017, 06:06:15 PM »
I would advise forgetting about Houston again. I just moved away from there because I hated it so much. While the cost of living is affordable and there are still good jobs, it is a city with a lot of problems. The flooding you saw during the hurricane was vey bad but Houston already floods whenever there is a hard rain. To the point where many roads are impassable. This happens several times a year. The violent crime is bad and the beach is disgusting. Oh yeah, summer is hell on earth.

Tampa and St.Pete are both nice cities. Tampa is in the middle of another building boom though so traffic is a pain. It’s not particularly bike commuter friendly but they are working on it. There are bike trails and parks. Cost of living is reasonable and the weather is mild. It was 82 and sunny today.

chasesfish

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Re: Where should we live?
« Reply #5 on: November 30, 2017, 05:46:14 AM »
Oh man, its time to have some fun with this post.  I have to move from where I currently live (Dallas, TX) as part of early retirement, so I've looked at them all.  You're going to have to accept some give and take, there is no perfect destination on the East coast.

Its not at the beach and colder in the winter, but have you looked in/around Asheville, NC or just moving to RDU (specifically living in/around Chapel Hill?).   That'll quickly resolve the small/rural/heavily red town without having to move states.  You will also find outstanding public education for your daughter because the parents who work in higher education demand it.  This would also give you and your husband a more progressive congregation.   Other cities that meet that list in the Southeast include Blacksburg, VA, Charlottesville, VA, and Athens, GA.   

Hilton Head would not be as bad as you think on "heavily conservative", there are a ton of transplants from the Northeast.  The challenge is its generally an older crowd and South Carolina isn't known as a bastion of good public education.

If the beach/coast is a must have, I'd recommend keeping your search to the pocket communities around large state colleges.   Florida Golf Coast University and UNC Wilmington come to mind. 

Good luck with your search

FLBiker

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Re: Where should we live?
« Reply #6 on: November 30, 2017, 08:06:47 AM »
I live in the Tampa adjacent city of Temple Terrace.  As you said, it is a bit of a hike to the beach (~ an hour), but I'm not such a beach person so I don't mind.  There's a lot of good hiking / kayaking nearby (within 15 to 30 minutes).  Personally, I really really like Temple Terrace.  It's quieter / more bikable than Tampa proper, and it's super convenient to work (both I and DW work at USF).  I wasn't the biggest Tampa fan initially, but as I've found my niche (which, over the years, has included a bike co-op, community garden, Buddhist group, etc.) I've come to like it.  And while Tampa isn't "ultra-conservative", FL as a whole is pretty conservative.

Housing down here is (in my limited experience) quite reasonable.  You could easily get a house for $250K in loads of neighborhoods.  Public transportation in virtually non existent.  And I wouldn't call it bike friendly BUT if you're careful about where you live, it is totally doable.  I lived my first year here without a car, and I've been a regular bike commuter for the past 8 years.

If you want to be closer to the beaches, you might want to look south of Tampa.  We prefer those beaches (and the drive out to them) to those to the west (ie St. Pete / Clearwater).  I'm specifically referring to beaches like Bradenton / Anna Maria Island.  I haven't spent any time in the towns between Tampa and there, though, so I'm not sure about affordability / employment opportunities.

If you like fancy restaurants, night life and the beach, St. Pete is better than Tampa.  It's also much more flood / hurricane prone, though, especially when compared to northeast Tampa (where I live).

startingsmall

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Re: Where should we live?
« Reply #7 on: November 30, 2017, 12:15:04 PM »
I live in the Tampa adjacent city of Temple Terrace.  As you said, it is a bit of a hike to the beach (~ an hour), but I'm not such a beach person so I don't mind.  There's a lot of good hiking / kayaking nearby (within 15 to 30 minutes).  Personally, I really really like Temple Terrace.  It's quieter / more bikable than Tampa proper, and it's super convenient to work (both I and DW work at USF).  I wasn't the biggest Tampa fan initially, but as I've found my niche (which, over the years, has included a bike co-op, community garden, Buddhist group, etc.) I've come to like it.  And while Tampa isn't "ultra-conservative", FL as a whole is pretty conservative.

Housing down here is (in my limited experience) quite reasonable.  You could easily get a house for $250K in loads of neighborhoods.  Public transportation in virtually non existent.  And I wouldn't call it bike friendly BUT if you're careful about where you live, it is totally doable.  I lived my first year here without a car, and I've been a regular bike commuter for the past 8 years.

If you want to be closer to the beaches, you might want to look south of Tampa.  We prefer those beaches (and the drive out to them) to those to the west (ie St. Pete / Clearwater).  I'm specifically referring to beaches like Bradenton / Anna Maria Island.  I haven't spent any time in the towns between Tampa and there, though, so I'm not sure about affordability / employment opportunities.

If you like fancy restaurants, night life and the beach, St. Pete is better than Tampa.  It's also much more flood / hurricane prone, though, especially when compared to northeast Tampa (where I live).

I actually lived in Temple Terrace during the year I lived in "Tampa".... which was ~15 yrs ago (that seems impossible). Loved it there. I was also working for USF, so it was a really easy/short drive. Spent every weekend biking/hiking out at the Morris Bridge trails (I think that's what they were called?), volunteered at Lowry Park Zoo, but loved being able to head to downtown Tampa & St Pete on weekends if I wanted something different.

I'm really not a "lay on the beach" kind of person... more a "walk on the beach at sunset" kind of person, so I remember St Pete & Clearwater areas being okay for what I was seeking. A friend of mine recently posted some amazing photos of camping on Shell Key (they kayaked out there),  which also sounds crazy-appealing.

The more I discuss it with the husband, the more appealing & probable Tampa sounds.

startingsmall

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Re: Where should we live?
« Reply #8 on: November 30, 2017, 12:17:36 PM »

Its not at the beach and colder in the winter, but have you looked in/around Asheville, NC or just moving to RDU (specifically living in/around Chapel Hill?).   That'll quickly resolve the small/rural/heavily red town without having to move states.  You will also find outstanding public education for your daughter because the parents who work in higher education demand it.  This would also give you and your husband a more progressive congregation.   Other cities that meet that list in the Southeast include Blacksburg, VA, Charlottesville, VA, and Athens, GA.   

All of those places would be huge improvements over our current location, but wouldn't really fix the dreary winter / SAD problem. HHI probably wouldn't either, but I'm hoping proximity to the beach would compensate?

ashleyinchs

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Re: Where should we live?
« Reply #9 on: February 28, 2018, 01:59:33 PM »
I live in Charleston, SC-- my husband and I moved here from Kentucky 6+ years ago.

Pros- great weather (until a hurricane comes...), easy to meet new people since a lot of us aren't from here originally, opportunities for side hustles (my husband and I rent out a tiny house we built in our backyard on airbnb...it stays booked!), and this is the most "liberal" part of a deep red state. People tend to be more open-minded here (for the south).

Cons- expensive cost of living, housing, and electricity. I think the housings costs may be in a bubble right now that could burst...houses don't seem to be selling as fast and at the listing price like they were a year or two ago. Also, traffic can be a nightmare. 

We live in the West Ashley area and it's way more affordable than downtown or Mt. Pleasant. We live 5 miles away from downtown. I don't have any children but I know school choice is a BIG deal around here. Everyone seems to want to get into a charter school.

I'd be happy to answer any questions you have! :)
« Last Edit: February 28, 2018, 02:02:34 PM by ashleyinchs »

 

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