Author Topic: What to do with house after separation/divorce?  (Read 3139 times)

frogmoses

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What to do with house after separation/divorce?
« on: August 30, 2013, 06:08:40 AM »
Hi Fellow Mustachians!

I am separated from my wife (3 years now). We have a house as joint owners. She lives there, I don't. I pay the mortgage on the house and rent on an apartment close to where I work. The house has been for sale for these 3 years. The house is an old church and nobody seems to want it, although it is an amazing place.

I can pay for all this but it takes everything to do it. 

I want to find a way (or ways) to ease the financial burden. If I refinance, I have to take it off the market (and it might not be worth the costs).

I welcome any thoughts about refinancing, how to persuade my ex to rent out a room (she is highly resistant), stop paying the mortgage, anything else?

Thanks so much for your advice!
Brian

pbkmaine

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Re: What to do with house after separation/divorce?
« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2013, 06:15:02 AM »
Having been separated and then divorced myself, I think you need a mediator or an attorney to work out a financial settlement.

Paul der Krake

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Re: What to do with house after separation/divorce?
« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2013, 06:40:15 AM »
By paying (part of? it's not clear) the mortgage while not living there, you are hemorrhaging money. If you have been separated for 3 years, the odds of the two of you living under the same roof are slim. Or is there a more complicated story?

The obvious choice would be to file for divorce and split assets. If your ex wants to remain in that house, she can buy your equity.

MKinVA

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Re: What to do with house after separation/divorce?
« Reply #3 on: September 02, 2013, 05:16:38 PM »
Frog, this has gone on long enough. Get lawyer and get divorced. Hopefully, you paying the mortgage for three years will be counted in your favor financially. Either she buys you out or you buy her out if you can't sell, but don't let this damage your finances for much longer, my friend. You may just need to cut your loses now in terms of the house price. Good luck.

totoro

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Re: What to do with house after separation/divorce?
« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2013, 08:17:56 AM »
Get an order for partition and sale with a clause allowing one of you to buy the other out at fair market value if you cannot agree on this.  This would force the deal if you are prepared to buy her out.  You could move back in and stage or rent the house out. 

If you really cannot sell you should look into renting it out and using the rental income to pay expenses. 

mm1970

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Re: What to do with house after separation/divorce?
« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2013, 11:20:18 AM »
You need to separate financially.  Get a divorce.

Or move back in.  Don't laugh, my inlaws are divorced . My FIL's new girlfriend lives with her husband.  They are separated.  They split the house upstairs/downstairs and share the kitchen.

He's a spender, she always made more money. She would take a bath if they got divorced, would have to pay alimony and probably for the house too.