Author Topic: What do you do when the answer is to not do something?  (Read 2096 times)

WelfareStateFIgoals

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What do you do when the answer is to not do something?
« on: February 21, 2020, 05:37:09 AM »
Hey there forum, long time lurker.

TL:DR version of my question: Once you're convinced about the logic of FI and have done your basic management (checked your budget and debts, gotten costs under control in theory) all that's really left is waiting and not doing much. What do you do at that point?

Slightly longer version:
I'm struggling with the part of an FI goal where I accept that this is smart and wise and right for me - and then going off and working towards that goal by not doing things. I kind of want to... buy some gear (the consumer is still strong in me), sign up to a challenge that requires daily check in, feel like I'm making an effort that hurts towards the goal. The "problem" is that for me, all I need to do right now is not spend extra money and invest my surplus every payday. Not spending extra money will of course require a lot of individual choices but it really doesn't mean any effort RIGHT NOW.

Yes, there is a list of more major life changes I'm going to make in the next year or so (adding second child to picture, changing jobs to shorten my commute and make my working years more pleasant) but I'm 6 weeks away from maternity leave and live in a lovely welfare state that will allow me to stay at home with decent pay the rest of 2020 so for now my efforts basically boil down to 100 occasions of not buying take-away coffee or signing up to stuff.

My worry is of course that I'll "forget" to be Mustachian whilst going about my life. This worry is pretty reasonable given that I've known and read about FIRE for 5 years and, whilst I credit it for helping me avoid a lot of stupid debt (pre-kids husband and I had a roommate in our home whose rent effectively paid for our wedding etc.) and saving me loads of money in other ways I haven't really been serious about it before now. There is a limit to how much time I can spend rereading old MMM blog-posts... I realise that I may be creating a problem out of thin air here, or limiting myself uneccessarily but I'm genuinely stumped and kind of antsy. I'm so used to buying a thing or a membership or going to meetings or whatever when I want to change something. Reading more specifically on the topic isn't neccessary now - I've got the basics and will space out reading the obvious books a bit through the months/years to keep everything fresh in mind.

To be clear: I've got a mortgage which is best in market, a student loan with low interest (way below what the market is preforming these days), non-spendy spouse, got rid of all subscriptions/recurring costs that I didn't feel very strongly about keeping recently, invest in low-cost index funds and have very cheap, very good childcare and healthcare curtesy of my astronomical taxes, don't really eat out, don't have a car or consumer debt etc. etc.
   

ender

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Re: What do you do when the answer is to not do something?
« Reply #1 on: February 21, 2020, 06:12:43 AM »
Figure out why you want to live and live.

Kris

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Re: What do you do when the answer is to not do something?
« Reply #2 on: February 21, 2020, 06:13:13 AM »
Learn.

Learn how to do stuff. Become a DIY expert.

There’s so much that people tend to hire out in their daily lives. Learn how to grow your own food, make your own peanut butter, change your own oil/bike tires, repurpose your worn out or unwanted clothes, build your own chicken coop...

There are a million things to learn like that.

zinnie

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Re: What do you do when the answer is to not do something?
« Reply #3 on: February 21, 2020, 06:41:34 AM »
I mean, mustachianism is a skill, or a tool, but it isn't an end in and of itself. Now that you have it under control, it sounds like you can focus on what you want to do with yourself/ your life/ your time. I spent a lot of time on MMM when I first discovered it, and more time recently now that I'm almost at the end, but not as much time in the middle phase, because like you said, there isn't much to do except wait! So, what do you want to do with the rest of your life? What challenges do you want to overcome, there?

Queen Frugal

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Re: What do you do when the answer is to not do something?
« Reply #4 on: February 21, 2020, 06:44:40 AM »
Welcome! If I am understanding you right, your question is 1) whether FI is right for you and 2) how to stay motivated while working towards FI.

I can't answer #1 - whether FI is right for you.

But as to #2 - how to stay motivated - I can tell you that for me personally, it's all about healthy money habits every day and I will start slacking if I don't pay attention. I don't even think about going to Starbucks anymore but for years it was something I did have to "think" about. Now avoiding Starbucks and other coffee shops is just habit. Really budgeting every last penny every month (I use YNAB for this) helps me mentally stay on track. Case in point - I have been yearning for a camper lately - BAD! I posted about this here on the forum and what finally cured me was not all the wonderful advice I received here (and it was wonderful advice) but it was sitting down and crunching my monthly numbers and considering the impact such a big purchase would have on when I could finally FIRE.

I don't think FI has to hurt or be hard. By being intentional with your money, you get to choose to spend it on what is truly important to you. If it is important to you to reach FI ASAP, well then you can squeeze your savings until it hurts. But you don't have to do it that way.

WelfareStateFIgoals

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Re: What do you do when the answer is to not do something?
« Reply #5 on: February 21, 2020, 11:59:06 AM »
Welcome! If I am understanding you right, your question is 1) whether FI is right for you and 2) how to stay motivated while working towards FI.

I can't answer #1 - whether FI is right for you.

But as to #2 - how to stay motivated - I can tell you that for me personally, it's all about healthy money habits every day and I will start slacking if I don't pay attention. I don't even think about going to Starbucks anymore but for years it was something I did have to "think" about. Now avoiding Starbucks and other coffee shops is just habit. Really budgeting every last penny every month (I use YNAB for this) helps me mentally stay on track. Case in point - I have been yearning for a camper lately - BAD! I posted about this here on the forum and what finally cured me was not all the wonderful advice I received here (and it was wonderful advice) but it was sitting down and crunching my monthly numbers and considering the impact such a big purchase would have on when I could finally FIRE.

I don't think FI has to hurt or be hard. By being intentional with your money, you get to choose to spend it on what is truly important to you. If it is important to you to reach FI ASAP, well then you can squeeze your savings until it hurts. But you don't have to do it that way.

You know, I though I was asking question #2 - which I basically should have phrased as "how do you keep yourself in line with your goals on a day-to-day basis" but rereading what I actually wrote I think maybe the questiotn I should be asking is more what most have replied to.

I mean, mustachianism is a skill, or a tool, but it isn't an end in and of itself. Now that you have it under control, it sounds like you can focus on what you want to do with yourself/ your life/ your time. I spent a lot of time on MMM when I first discovered it, and more time recently now that I'm almost at the end, but not as much time in the middle phase, because like you said, there isn't much to do except wait! So, what do you want to do with the rest of your life? What challenges do you want to overcome, there?
Ah yes. I think I may have fallen slightly for the fallacy of "this is a very nice hammer I have gotten myself here - where can I find more nails" instead of asking what problems I'm trying to solve and whether the rest of my toolbox is up to stratch.

Learn.

Learn how to do stuff. Become a DIY expert.

There’s so much that people tend to hire out in their daily lives. Learn how to grow your own food, make your own peanut butter, change your own oil/bike tires, repurpose your worn out or unwanted clothes, build your own chicken coop...

There are a million things to learn like that.

Figure out why you want to live and live.

I think I'll try focusing my attention more on the two above answers, which support each other in a nice way. 

AMandM

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Re: What do you do when the answer is to not do something?
« Reply #6 on: February 21, 2020, 12:15:26 PM »
I hear you! Not-buying-takeout-coffee doesn't feel like an accomplishment, or an assignment you can tick off the list of steps to FI.

Would it help to build a spreadsheet and monitor your net worth, so you can get a feeling of progress?

Or maybe pick some new activity/skill, and make pursuing that the "thing that you are doing" to advance FI. An exercise regime, or sewing your kids' clothes, or learning bicycle maintenance--something that advances you indirectly on the path to FI because it makes you stronger or more skilled.

Or think about how you would run your life if you had reached FIRE, and start that now. Mat leave is sort of a test run for retirement, in the sense of income without going to a job.

wellactually

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Re: What do you do when the answer is to not do something?
« Reply #7 on: February 21, 2020, 12:49:25 PM »
OP, it sounds like you are someone who is highly motivated by outer expectations. In the parlance of Gretchen Rubin's four tendencies, that would make you an obliger. So you want that accountability of a group or a goal or something.

Maybe you find other parts of your life where that itch is satisfied. Maybe you look for different things to maximize financially each month. For example, one month you try and clear the living space of junk you don't want/need and resale. One month you might try and switch to bulk purchasing dry goods. Personally, I've enjoyed finding ways to be more environmentally-friendly in my regular purchases without making a significant change to my spending.

You've also got to find that balance that motivates you. Some people want the RE so much that they prioritize it over small luxuries. After getting debt-free, my husband and I had a hard time spending any money. We went on a celebratory long weekend to Chicago and stayed at an air bnb to save money. But it was on the second to last stop of the metro line and it basically meant we had to go into the city at the beginning of the day with everything we needed and then not go home until we were done. It was super annoying. The next trip we went on, we got a hotel downtown and it was amazing. Because we haven't engaged in any unplanned lifestyle inflation, we get to enjoy these luxury choices completely as a treat.

For me, automating savings and still doing monthly budgets with 100% expense tracking helps keep me focused and on the plan. I also track networth monthly for funsies. Then I find other areas of interest to devote my learning itch to.

Hope you figure out a good plan for you!

MonkeyJenga

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Zikoris

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Re: What do you do when the answer is to not do something?
« Reply #9 on: February 21, 2020, 01:58:18 PM »
I automated my financials and spend basically no time on FIRE on a regular basis. Highly recommend it. When you have a good automated system, you don't need things like "discipline" and "motivation" at all, because everything happens in the background without requiring much from you.

I prefer to focus my efforts on fun and interesting things like hobbies, travel/travel planning, learning new things, and building relationships, and let FIRE happen automatically.

terran

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Re: What do you do when the answer is to not do something?
« Reply #10 on: February 21, 2020, 03:50:09 PM »
...

https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/08/16/what-it-feels-like-to-become-rich/

This is the one I always think of when people talk about the boredom of the FIRE path. Being rich is pretty great, but it can be nerve wracking if you've been poor. It makes it feel like something must be wrong if nothing is going wrong.

Mr. Green

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Re: What do you do when the answer is to not do something?
« Reply #11 on: February 21, 2020, 05:22:00 PM »
I think a lot of people struggle with this part of the FI journey because we think there is always a next step, something more we can do to further the goal. In reality, the journey is more like a book. At some point you reach the end. You pared your frivolous spending, optimized some habits, created new monetary goals for yourself and you suddenly find yourself on autopilot. Congratulations, you have reached the end of that adventure and it's time to move on to another one. Turn that focus toward other areas of your life and enjoy your newfound security.

lhamo

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Re: What do you do when the answer is to not do something?
« Reply #12 on: February 21, 2020, 05:43:17 PM »
If you have the time/energy, focusing on learning the ins and outs of certain types of high-end baby and kid gear and finding cheap second hand sources that you then clean and/or fix up and resell for a nice profit can be a nice supplemental income stream.  Things like high-end strollers, baby carriers, bike trailers, even diaper covers.  You get the best return if you have the time to hit yard sales, etc. where people tend to sell things for pennies on the dollar.  If you focus on one niche you can also become a kind of expert consultant who helps other families find the right gear for them.  And you are keeping them from buying stuff new, which helps their wallet and the planet.

Loren Ver

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Re: What do you do when the answer is to not do something?
« Reply #13 on: February 21, 2020, 05:59:20 PM »
I would recommend the blog Our Next Life (https://ournextlife.com/).  Tanja goes into the what to do once you have automated your savings and such, the building of your best life.  It might help you figure out your questions in a way that can be answered.  Might be good reading while on leave :).

LV

mistymoney

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Re: What do you do when the answer is to not do something?
« Reply #14 on: February 23, 2020, 08:38:23 AM »
If I'm understanding you right - it's about all the individual choices you make throughout the month - and it seems like you are thinking of those within individual vacuums. 100 times a month to decide yes/no. That would be a little exhausting.

Allocate a certain amount monthly for lattes and other frivolous spending, and then within each month you just prioritize the most rewarding of those. So if you allocate 100/month for casual spending - if you blow through it in two weeks, then you do nothing the rest of the month. If you are planning for a pricy concert with friends, maybe you need to 'save' 1/2 of your frivolous spending allocation for 2-3 months.

If you are used to spending alot - maybe start off higher (200/month) and then cut back slowly over 6-12 months. If you start on the low side and feel overly constrained, raise the amount.

I do think here, people are always thinking about it - or they seem to be always thinking about it.  But if you just automate your savings towards FI, maybe automate your monthly indulgences amount to a separate savings account, and then just check that balance to see what you can 'afford' when you want to splurge - and think about the number of days until it's replenished - and how that splurge would influence other splurges within the month, it would be easier to just live and not spend too much time thinking about it.

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!