So what else is out there? Mindfulness? Martial arts? Jesus? Veganism? Radical sustainability? Charity? Competitive athletics? Hallucinogen-assisted meditation? Getting to know my parents outside our traditional parent-child relationship? Getting more serious about tutoring my kids? Going on week-long hikes with my dog? Get deeply into cleaning and decorating? Finding a new country we could live in (DW would be thrilled) and learning about the culture and making that happen? Setting a financial goal and working towards it e.g. earning $100K to buy a piece of forest? Have another kid? Become a foster parent? Get another dog? Reconnect with long-lost childhood friends and introduce our kids?
I guess the subtext here is that as my kids grow up I'm finding time and energy for my own projects starting to return and I'm wondering what to do with it beyond just taking up yet-another hobby.
I certainly can't speak to all of these, but I can speak to some.
The first thing you mentioned (mindfulness) is the one that, for me, has paid the biggest dividends. I've had a daily meditation practice for ~10 years, and nothing has had a bigger impact on my mental health (and thus the quality of my relationships) than that, with the possible exception of getting sober (which, for me, was a necessary precursor). Prior to the last 10 years, I was an on-again-off-again meditator and, for me, that had basically no benefit. Daily practice is the key. For me, having the structure and accountability of a local sangha with a good teacher was also extremely helpful. We've since moved, but I still practice with them regularly. I've also found some good online groups (as we don't have a local one). In addition to daily practice, I find a lot of benefit in retreats (I'm starting a 4-day retreat later today, in fact). I used to think the "peak" experiences that I would have on retreat were the point, but now I feel that they are very much secondary. The insights can be useful, but the main benefit I find is that retreats recharge my daily practice. And, per the topic at hand, one of the main thoughts / feelings that meditation has helped me to see differently is a pervasive feeling that the present moment isn't quite enough, that something is missing, or that that something better is just around the corner (at which point I'll be happy).
Personally, I do not believe in hallucinogen-assisted meditation. I've done hallucinogens and they do simulate some of the feelings you can get from meditation but 1) it's just a simulation and 2) those peak experiences aren't the point of meditation. There's no shortcut for the daily practice of over and over again noticing where your attention is and placing it where you want it to be. Hallucinogens don't help with that. I understand the appeal, though -- it would be great if there were a pill. And I also understand why some folks believe it works. Some meditation experiences feel a lot like hallucinogenic experiences. In my experience, though, despite the feeling of insight, interconnectedness, heightened sensory experiences, etc. that came from LSD and mushrooms, I didn't gain any actual insight or benefits.
We've toyed with homeschooling, but our daughter is an only, so, thus far, we've found the social benefits of school to outweigh anything else. Plus, she's doing French immersion and likes school (grade 2). If she stops liking it, though, we could re-evaluate. I'd say world school might be in the cards for us.
Week-long hikes are great.
For me, veganism and radical sustainability are both great and feel ethically correct, BUT neither were good for my mental health. I tend towards extremes, but I feel better in moderation. Plus, both (for me) can be cudgels for perfectionism and judging others. So now I'm vegetarian and "pretty" sustainable. :)
