Author Topic: Trying to downsize/simplify and need your help!  (Read 5517 times)

Kash101

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 35
Re: Trying to downsize/simplify and need your help!
« Reply #50 on: March 28, 2018, 08:57:13 AM »
Verbal Facepunches, hahaha. My skin isn't that thin!  and looking into each reply, there is a lot of awesome guidance and info. Sometimes we all need a little tough love ! In respect to job, I am self employed in a service based industry, creating my company from scratch. I could hire my replacement potentially, but there is always a risk of training your competitor etc. Working on a solution though .

nick663

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 222
  • Location: midwest
Re: Trying to downsize/simplify and need your help!
« Reply #51 on: March 28, 2018, 09:02:51 PM »
All very good points. I literally think this post and the forum members saved my backside from making another regrettable decision! Very much appreciate all the tips and I will be exposing myself to this site daily ! Shockingly, I don't miss the McLaren at all and am looking forward to substantial savings every month and much less stress. Interestingly, when we go out we usually take an Uber anyway so that further trivializes the need for the flash. Now, the next issue... downsizing the fancy house. But, I am blessed, because wifey is down to move anywhere I suggest. She actually hates LA also for reasons mentioned above. Work is here for me though.   Thanks all !
Glad to hear you say that.  I'm nowhere near your level of income and have tried to keep my car hobby in check by staying in the lower end of the spectrum (Miata/S2000/older M3s/etc) where depreciation has flattened out.  Good to hear I'm not missing out on too much by not going up the ladder.

Kash101

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 35
Re: Trying to downsize/simplify and need your help!
« Reply #52 on: March 29, 2018, 10:01:26 AM »
nick663, Trust me on this, there is only a fleeting an minimal gain in " joy" or " happiness" when escalating up the kind of car. I have tracked cars in the past, mostly Porche, doing quite well to the point I considered obtaining a non street legal track car, but I did not because of all the phantom costs associated ( consumables / trailer / storage/ etc ).  I can tell you most people on the track whom I respect as drivers have gotten rid of the GT3s, GT4s, GT2s etc and either have old Boxsters, Miatas, M3s now. The fun factor is way up with those cars, and most importantly the skill set is improved because you can't cheat by mashing the accelerator out of a turn and making up for all the errors in and out of the turns.

If/When I go back down that road, I will be looking at an older Miata, Boxster etc. But for now, that is not on my radar. I am in downsize and minimize mode.

Also, quick update on my situation, I got a call from a dealer offering me 20k off a diff sports car I looked at a month or so ago. I passed. I got my DD washed, changed the oil, and gave it a big fat kiss. I have a newfound respect for her, and looking forward to ticking up the miles on it and staying simple.

Also staying mindful of the artificial " reasons" why I may be drawn to the moving liabilities , like status etc, which is all BS.


Carrie

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 602
Re: Trying to downsize/simplify and need your help!
« Reply #53 on: March 29, 2018, 10:05:13 AM »
Yay! It really is a change of mindset. You have made huge strides.

zolotiyeruki

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2671
  • Location: State: Denial
Re: Trying to downsize/simplify and need your help!
« Reply #54 on: March 29, 2018, 10:42:55 AM »
nick663, Trust me on this, there is only a fleeting an minimal gain in " joy" or " happiness" when escalating up the kind of car. I have tracked cars in the past, mostly Porche, doing quite well to the point I considered obtaining a non street legal track car, but I did not because of all the phantom costs associated ( consumables / trailer / storage/ etc ).  I can tell you most people on the track whom I respect as drivers have gotten rid of the GT3s, GT4s, GT2s etc and either have old Boxsters, Miatas, M3s now. The fun factor is way up with those cars, and most importantly the skill set is improved because you can't cheat by mashing the accelerator out of a turn and making up for all the errors in and out of the turns.

If/When I go back down that road, I will be looking at an older Miata, Boxster etc. But for now, that is not on my radar. I am in downsize and minimize mode.

Also, quick update on my situation, I got a call from a dealer offering me 20k off a diff sports car I looked at a month or so ago. I passed. I got my DD washed, changed the oil, and gave it a big fat kiss. I have a newfound respect for her, and looking forward to ticking up the miles on it and staying simple.

Also staying mindful of the artificial " reasons" why I may be drawn to the moving liabilities , like status etc, which is all BS.
It's quite refreshing to hear someone take a step back and get a glimpse of the bigger picture.  Good on you for taking a breath and not giving in to the urge!

MarciaB

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 399
  • Age: 57
  • Location: Oregon
Re: Trying to downsize/simplify and need your help!
« Reply #55 on: March 29, 2018, 12:47:00 PM »
Kash101 I'm proud of you! Posting your punch-worthy issues on a forum and letting other forum members bitch slap you over and over again takes guts. And then you followed through and made some really good decisions. Well done you.

I'd like to add to the concerns other posters have about the LA scene and the toxic ego-fueled environment there. It's not healthy.

But here's a suggestion for thinking through the urge to buy/own/drive/wear things that impress other people. "Everyone" thinks they need to do this...but why? Since when?

1) Make a list of all the almighty "theys" who you think will judge you on those material things. Who is watching you? Who is talking to someone else about you and your decisions?

2) Look over the list and ask yourself just how many of those people on that list you really give a rat's ass about their opinions. Circle those names.

3) Consider that you may find that there are precious few folks you respect enough to actually care what they think.

4) Ask yourself then who are you owning/buying/driving/wearing this stuff for?

And then move the hell out of a place where this shit matters.

Kash101

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 35
Re: Trying to downsize/simplify and need your help!
« Reply #56 on: May 12, 2018, 10:39:48 AM »
I wanted to post an update. Itís been 2 months since I sold my McLaren. Still sticking with my perfect DD and so far so good. Every  One I get into it and see a flashy car , I definitely have the itch to get another sports car. But Iím holding strong. Had a moment of weakness , my dealer brought over the exact model I would want , left it with me for a couple days. We worked out the numbers and I was about to pull the trigger but then I stopped. Took some deep breaths. Cancelled the deal and had them pick up the car.  That was tough but proud of myself.

Imma

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1084
  • Location: Europe
Re: Trying to downsize/simplify and need your help!
« Reply #57 on: May 12, 2018, 11:06:24 AM »
Thanks for the update! Sounds like you're doing really well! Must have been hard to cancel the deal while you had your dream car on the driveway, but you did it just in time.

Kash101

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 35
Re: Trying to downsize/simplify and need your help!
« Reply #58 on: May 12, 2018, 11:12:05 AM »
Yeah it was rough. But thinking about the car payment , insurance , etc etc. I could already feel my stress level going up.  And for what ? So I walked.

Hirondelle

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 967
Re: Trying to downsize/simplify and need your help!
« Reply #59 on: May 12, 2018, 11:16:10 AM »
Hi Kash, just seeing this thread for the first time and I'd like to say you made my day!

It makes me happy to see someone who says no to consumerism, lifestyle inflation (though from your McLaren it was a deflation) and that you've managed to keep your frugality muscles going for two months already.

You know, by doing this you'll also get more respect from people for just not giving a f*ck and you might even inspire others with inflated vehicles to do the same, slowing everyone down in the consumerism race. LA is so crazy because everyone's hitting each other up, and by being one of the few who doesn't I believe you're having a potential positive impact on everyone around you.

Kash101

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 35
Re: Trying to downsize/simplify and need your help!
« Reply #60 on: May 13, 2018, 12:18:36 AM »
Thanks for the positive comments ! Def not easy and so different from the way I am used to living. But I find myself much less distracted and much less stressed. Looking forward to continuing the good fight. In LA though itís not easy , especially when you have the means,  it it does bring into sharp focus oneís priorities , distractions , and financially consuming decisions.

It also makes one wonder if their partner can get on board. Have to chat with my wife about my current outlook and hopefully she will be on board.

Carrie

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 602
Re: Trying to downsize/simplify and need your help!
« Reply #61 on: May 13, 2018, 09:00:06 AM »
Stay strong! It's a mindset change, for sure, so try to find like-minded support around you. Cut ties with that dealer! You don't need that noise of having him drop off temptations!

Even in a LCOL area it's hard to find non-materialistic people, so I can't imagine how it would be in your circles.

the_fixer

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 370
  • Location: Colorado
  • mind on my money money on my mind
Re: Trying to downsize/simplify and need your help!
« Reply #62 on: May 13, 2018, 09:49:03 AM »
As a fellow car junkie I have wondered from time to time how it was going for you it is great to see the update and awesome that you were able to resist the urge / temptation of the pretty toy when presented with the choice.

I just finished reading your money or your life a few weeks ago and would really recommend picking up a copy. It really helped me to make sense of the why, MMM is great but for me it left a gap in understanding the why.

It is an easy to read book and really puts the emotions and feelings of money into perspective and brought me a new level of understanding how consumerism works, our feelings about money, how to determine what really matters to me and what I am trading my time for.

It is among the best $12 I have ever spent and highly recommend it. The new edition was recently released  and you can get it on Amazon.

If you read the book it would be interesting to hear your perspective.

Congratulations keep strong!





Sent from my Pixel 2 XL using Tapatalk

zolotiyeruki

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2671
  • Location: State: Denial
Re: Trying to downsize/simplify and need your help!
« Reply #63 on: May 13, 2018, 02:20:28 PM »
I think it really gets down to the basics:  what is most valuable to you? And what truly adds happiness to your life?

For me, simplifying and decluttering are liberating, because the "Things" we accumulate in life demand attention and can cause stress.  "Things" can include both material possessions (like a fancy car) or non-material things like extracurricular activities, worrying about retirement, trying to pick out just the right clothing, feeling crowded due to clutter, etc.  Getting rid of those things frees up time and mental energy for focusing on what's more important in life.

Gronnie

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 225
  • Age: 32
  • Location: Midwest
Re: Trying to downsize/simplify and need your help!
« Reply #64 on: May 13, 2018, 06:38:01 PM »
Do they rent out cars like this? Can you just rent one occasionally when you get the itch?

Kash101

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 35
Re: Trying to downsize/simplify and need your help!
« Reply #65 on: May 14, 2018, 08:50:22 AM »
Gronnie, yes thats what I am thinking at this point. Its funny, when the dealer left eh car, and I drove it around for less then 24hours, I was already getting " used to it".. hedonic adaptation perhaps... SO Ironically, it made my decision easier to walk away..Prob not what the dealer was intending .

your money or your life, I will be picking this up for sure.

In respect to the clutter comments, I couldn't agree more. About a year ago , I donated almost all my clothing to goodwill, and have only black, white dark blue and grey shirts ( 90% being T shirts! ) and about 4 pairs of jeans... thats it ( outside of 2 suits for the necessary occasions ) did something similar with shoes.. And let me tell you how liberating it is to grab any T shirt on top of the pile, and any jeans, and go ! More mental focus and energy for things that really matter.

Also, realizing how much of my time is spent on " distractions" like car shopping, building the perfect vehicle w online configurators, etc.. moreover, when you're friends drive Lambos, Porsches, etc.. it initially made it challenging, but now the  only thing I am missing out on is the occasional morning rides we would take... but I use that time to hang with my wife , stragedize about my business, surf ( which costs me nothing and my current DD is perfect for ) .. all in all, a much more productive and quality use of my time, bringing more clarity into my life's path.


WalkaboutStache

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 60
Re: Trying to downsize/simplify and need your help!
« Reply #66 on: May 14, 2018, 05:40:37 PM »
I wanted to post an update. Itís been 2 months since I sold my McLaren. Still sticking with my perfect DD and so far so good. Every  One I get into it and see a flashy car , I definitely have the itch to get another sports car. But Iím holding strong. Had a moment of weakness , my dealer brought over the exact model I would want , left it with me for a couple days. We worked out the numbers and I was about to pull the trigger but then I stopped. Took some deep breaths. Cancelled the deal and had them pick up the car.  That was tough but proud of myself.

That's why they call them "dealers"

Here, try this.  It's free because I like you.

Malaysia41

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3128
  • Age: 45
  • Location: Verona, Italy
    • My mmm journal
Re: Trying to downsize/simplify and need your help!
« Reply #67 on: May 15, 2018, 04:06:55 AM »
I wanted to post an update. Itís been 2 months since I sold my McLaren. Still sticking with my perfect DD and so far so good. Every  One I get into it and see a flashy car , I definitely have the itch to get another sports car. But Iím holding strong. Had a moment of weakness , my dealer brought over the exact model I would want , left it with me for a couple days. We worked out the numbers and I was about to pull the trigger but then I stopped. Took some deep breaths. Cancelled the deal and had them pick up the car.  That was tough but proud of myself.

That's why they call them "dealers"

Here, try this.  It's free because I like you.

So true.

Well done Kash101. Well done.

former player

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3314
  • Location: Avalon
Re: Trying to downsize/simplify and need your help!
« Reply #68 on: May 15, 2018, 06:09:31 AM »
I think it really gets down to the basics:  what is most valuable to you? And what truly adds happiness to your life?

For me, simplifying and decluttering are liberating, because the "Things" we accumulate in life demand attention and can cause stress.  "Things" can include both material possessions (like a fancy car) or non-material things like extracurricular activities, worrying about retirement, trying to pick out just the right clothing, feeling crowded due to clutter, etc.  Getting rid of those things frees up time and mental energy for focusing on what's more important in life.
This speaks to me, and I think is one of the most valuable things about the MMM way: spending less than one earns and index investing cuts the financial clutter, being aware of hedonic adaptation helps cut the physical clutter.

Kash, now that summer is here I too have moments of regret about the sports car I owned for 23 years, but not enough to go back.  Congrats on staying strong and sticking with where the true value in your life is.

Kash101

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 35
Re: Trying to downsize/simplify and need your help!
« Reply #69 on: May 16, 2018, 02:22:33 PM »
Thanks all. It is funny how it truly feels like an addiction that one needs to shake... I definitely had a bit of anxiety and " withdrawals" but starting to settle... only starting at 2 months post car sale ! Now the next item... downsize the house. Wife is on board so cool !