My grandma's family owned a successful local restaurant, it became an institution, she herself ran a small bistro-wine bar and did well, later our family operated a restaurant-bar for many years, I owned a bistro.
It is true, a well-run operation requires that you are there 6 days a week for 10 to 12 hours. Every successful restaurateur will tell you that. A good team is essential.
If you choose a distinct neighborhood or a great location in a small town you have a chance - if you have an engaging personality, become a fixture in the community and are diplomatic regarding local politics while keeping a relentless eye on the bottom line.
New restaurants have an incredibly high failure rate - I knew that and opened one anyway, I loved it, didn't mind the long hours or the work. We became a popular lunch place, it was a good location with a small menu, but an ever-changing daily special, including rotating vegetarian dishes on the main menu. I always thought vegetarian dishes were a no-brainer, they are a great option for people on a diet, the vegetarians were glad to have at least a couple of good choices and we could charge the same as for a dish with meat.
We did well, but in the end, I lost the business due to circumstances beyond my control.
It wasn't the food that brought in the money, it was the alcohol, the bar and special events. It is a tough business, but I think restaurants succeed if you have one person running the show, a good team, and a viable, flexible but solid business plan.
There has to be enough money going in, shoestring operations are not a good candidate for surviving more than a couple years. Riding the wave of a fad is not a good idea either because it does not last - but continually introducing new dishes, while keeping old favorites on the menu works well.
I can relate to your talking about the decor, it was important to me too:) I knew I would be there all the time so I designed an inviting space and we did a lot of the work ourselves. It wasn't too hard to find used restaurant furniture and equipment.
Now, a food truck operation is a totally different thing, so is a hot dog stand - definitely not my thing. Since your thread headline reads "Talk me out of opening a restaurant" - my answer would be, do your research, decide how much money you can afford to lose, have a contingency plan for all sorts of mishaps going in - then make a plan and see if the SBA would give you a loan based on your plan and credentials.
SBA is an excellent source, but be assured that in the end the buck stops with you - what if you get sick, what if your manager walks out, what are your strengths, do you want to stay in the kitchen? - fine, but you must fully understand the business anyway and be a strong decisive leader.
Do you have that fire in the belly to make it happen against all odds?
What will you do when the business fails?... walk away - start another? What impact will this have on your life and family? Can you live with the consequences of failure?
Working at a successful restaurant in whatever capacity that suits you is a hell of a lot easier and worry free - when your shift is done - you go home.
Consider your health and your energy levels and know exactly how you would like to run your business, but be smart enough and humble enough to eat crow if things don't work out as planned - adjust your plans, change the menu, no problem, what counts is your success, make it happen!
Dream up events, be involved in your community, but do it all on your own terms.
The opening day party with all my family and friends in attendance was an indescribable feeling and when it all ended with a fire on the premises it was devastating. I was lucky it was not arson and I was double lucky it was contained before it damaged the ice cream parlor next door or the adjacent Italian restaurant. Calls at 1:30 in the morning are never a good thing. There went my life as I knew it.
Enough of a deterrent?:) Oh, and if you take over an existing location, don't believe a thing the owner tells you - check and double check and talk to all the vendors, the business next door etc. If you are taking over refrigerated units have them checked out ...
Visit at different times throughout the day and the week to see what traffic they are getting, check out your nearby competition too...