Author Topic: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s  (Read 3308 times)

Laurak

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Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« on: June 02, 2019, 03:12:23 AM »
My MIL has just retired with no cash/assets at all. She cannot afford to live in the city that she's lived all of her life. She was supposed to be moving in with my sister-in-law, but they've both now decided that they can't live together. Fair enough. I couldn't live with my MIL either.

But, my sister-in-law is a nurse working 12 hour shifts, days and nights. The MIL looks after her child when she's working as she's a single parent. The SIL has now asked us if we'd be happy to help with MIL's rent. They live in a v. expensive city where average rent is $450/week. The MIL has pension income of $800 every 2 weeks. The obvious solution is for them to move out of that city neither has considered this as an option. They also live on the other side of the world to us. We're just starting to have our finances sorted with no debt outside of a mortgage, savings and the plan to set up a Serviced Accommodation business.

Any thoughts or ideas from you creative financial people?

kei te pai

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #1 on: June 02, 2019, 03:29:21 AM »
Decide with your husband if you are prepared to commit to long term financial support. Decide between you how much if anything you will offer.
Inform you SIL and MIL of your decision.
Do not attempt to solve the problems or offer advice/suggestions. Be clear that your offer is just that and not available for bargaining or subject to additional "emergency" bailouts.
You can offer money if you wish, but you cant make other people choose well.

AMandM

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #2 on: June 02, 2019, 06:28:54 AM »
Based on reading lots of threads on this forum, I think there's a risk that once you turn on the tap of financial assistance, the assisted feel entitled to open it up farther.  If you agree to give your MIL some amount each month, how high are the chances that she will spend it on stuff other than rent and then she or SIL will come back to ask for rent money "because we can't let Mama be homeless"? If this is a real possibility, perhaps you could pay the money directly to her landlord.

Do you have any sense of how/why she's in this situation? For instance, if even though she didn't save she consistently spent within her income while working, and the problem is that her retirement income is lower, then giving her money to bridge (some of) that difference might not be so risky. She could conceivably keep her spending at previous levels. OTOH, if she lived beyond her income while working, then her problem is spending, and no amount of assistance from you will make her situation stable.

Best wishes! This is a hard path to navigate.

Omy

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #3 on: June 02, 2019, 06:41:13 AM »
Is SIL paying MIL for babysitting services? If not, that seems like an obvious solution.

Roadrunner53

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #4 on: June 02, 2019, 07:39:02 AM »
You need to explore a lot of things before you start giving money.

1.  What is MIL's age? Can she collect Social Security? Her pension is $20,800 if I am calculating that right. SS could add maybe $1,000 to $1,600 per month or $12,000 to $19,200 per year.

2.  If she was married 10 years and doesn't have enough credits for her own SS she would be eligible to collect on her ex husbands SS benefits. Widow benefits start at age 60 and if she is eligible for her own SS then she could hold off and let hers grow. If the ex's SS is bigger than hers will ever be she can continue with it. Your SIL should take her to a SS office so she can help your MIL understand what she is entitled to or not.

3.  You mention she lives in a high cost of living area. Has anyone looked into senior apartments for low income people? Most of these places work on a sliding scale and base the rent on income. The less income, the less the rent will be.

4.  She should look into Medicaid if she needs health insurance. It will save her money.

5.  She might be entitled to food stamps.

6.  Check the town she lives in to see if they have any help for elderly renters. There are some programs to help the elderly. In my town they have help for heating costs in the winter and some kind of help for rent.

7.  Contact her local senior center and speak to a counselor. They will have all the up to date programs pertaining to seniors and what programs are available. This is probably the best resource to find out everything you need to know about housing, Medicaid, heating rebates, food stamps.

I also agree with another poster in regard to not handing over money to the MIL. I would figure a way to directly pay the landlord if it comes to that.  Please don't jump into this until all the above I have mentioned have been investigated. Once you commit, you will be stuck forever. If MIL is entitled to things to reduce her cost of living, then if you do help out it might be far less of a commitment.

jeroly

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #5 on: June 02, 2019, 08:39:22 AM »
You need to explore a lot of things before you start giving money.

1.  What is MIL's age? Can she collect Social Security? Her pension is $20,800 if I am calculating that right. SS could add maybe $1,000 to $1,600 per month or $12,000 to $19,200 per year.

2.  If she was married 10 years and doesn't have enough credits for her own SS she would be eligible to collect on her ex husbands SS benefits. Widow benefits start at age 60 and if she is eligible for her own SS then she could hold off and let hers grow. If the ex's SS is bigger than hers will ever be she can continue with it. Your SIL should take her to a SS office so she can help your MIL understand what she is entitled to or not.

3.  You mention she lives in a high cost of living area. Has anyone looked into senior apartments for low income people? Most of these places work on a sliding scale and base the rent on income. The less income, the less the rent will be.

4.  She should look into Medicaid if she needs health insurance. It will save her money.

5.  She might be entitled to food stamps.

6.  Check the town she lives in to see if they have any help for elderly renters. There are some programs to help the elderly. In my town they have help for heating costs in the winter and some kind of help for rent.

7.  Contact her local senior center and speak to a counselor. They will have all the up to date programs pertaining to seniors and what programs are available. This is probably the best resource to find out everything you need to know about housing, Medicaid, heating rebates, food stamps.

I also agree with another poster in regard to not handing over money to the MIL. I would figure a way to directly pay the landlord if it comes to that.  Please don't jump into this until all the above I have mentioned have been investigated. Once you commit, you will be stuck forever. If MIL is entitled to things to reduce her cost of living, then if you do help out it might be far less of a commitment.

Because the typical rent was stated in weekly rather than monthly cost, I would guess that this is a non-US situation, perhaps Australia.  If that's the case, the amounts and rules for the social security equivalent will be very different.
« Last Edit: June 02, 2019, 09:07:10 AM by jeroly »

Laurak

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #6 on: June 02, 2019, 08:41:21 AM »
Thanks everyone. She's 69, not in great health, and not in the US. Apparently there are are long waiting lists for access to social housing for older people. She was never married, so has no access to any funds or savings from an ex. I don't know what she was thinking was going to happen in the future. I have a sneaking suspicion that it was always to create a crisis where others have to step in and sort it out.

mistymoney

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #7 on: June 02, 2019, 10:33:02 AM »
with SIL relying on her for child care, it really is going to have to be her who assists - either by sharing housing or paying market rates for child care. Finding reliable child care that encompasses 12 hour shifts rotating day/night shifts would be difficult to find and fairly expensive.

If she paid MIL market rate for this, MIL could likely live independently.

Also - MIL is in poor health and worked till 69, so I would not be too hard on her - she did what she could and can't any longer but is still willing to care for grandchild. That's a lot.

If you can and want to commit to a monthly amount, I think you are free do so and adding whatever caveates you would like - 200/month as long as your own financial situation doesn't change and only if SIL does - X - for the child care.

And sign that woman up for the senior housing. If it takes a long wait period, best to get on the list.

frugaldrummer

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #8 on: June 02, 2019, 03:04:03 PM »
Yeah I guess the question is, why does MIL have so little? If she was a single mom who struggled to raise and educate her children and sacrificed for her kids, then I would set an amount that your spouse feels is fair to contribute.

If she's a spendthrift alcoholic who blew all her money on designer clothes, obviously that's another story. But I'm guessing she's not that awful if SIL is willing to have her watch her kids.

What can SIL contribute? Is she paying MIL for watching her kids? If not, is sister just asking you to subsidize her free babysitter while she's unwilling to live with mom? What would they both do if you guys didn't exist?

COEE

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #9 on: June 02, 2019, 06:17:15 PM »
You mention your SIL/MIL being on the other side of the world... Therefore it may be that you/them/your spouse are of a different nationality/culture, where children may be expected to help with aging parents.  You need to handle that on a cultural basis, I'd think.  Speaking with others that are the same nationality to receive wisdom/guidance.

However, if they are American's doing the ex-pat thing - I'd just give a firm 'NO!' - assuming you didn't persuade your MIL to retire and not think twice about it.  Chances are that both are smart women and will figure out how to survive (moving, finding part-time work, etc).  The human species has survived for millennia for a reason.

Chances are SIL persuaded MIL to 'retire' to take care of kiddo.  Now SIL has decided she can't live with MIL and wants you to take up the slack.  Do you see the problem here?  You'd basically be paying for your SIL's childcare.  F-that!

Cassie

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #10 on: June 02, 2019, 07:09:02 PM »
This is very messed up. Sounds like SIL doesn’t want to pay for daycare. I would say no. Sign up for low income senior housing pronto. 

urbanista

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #11 on: June 02, 2019, 07:44:16 PM »
Sounds like Australia.

OP, you are being taken for a ride.

1. Australian pension plus rent assistance for a single person amounts to $27,648pa. Much higher than $800 every 2 weeks.

2. Average rent $450pw is a luxury place. In Melbourne you can get nice 2bedroom units in an ok suburb for $350pw.

Waiting list for public housing is long but it is not forever. For a single pensioner it is about 2-3 years but yeahh, your MIL might get a place in an undesirable suburb.

If your SIL gets babysitting service, she should pay for it.

Pensioners with no savings do not live in places with $450pw rent. There are plenty of nice towns with much lower rents.
« Last Edit: June 02, 2019, 11:18:03 PM by urbanista »

Dicey

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #12 on: June 02, 2019, 10:52:42 PM »
This is very messed up. Sounds like SIL doesn’t want to pay for daycare. I would say no. Sign up for low income senior housing pronto. 
I'm kind of thinking along these lines, too. What is Sis paying Mom for her services? If Sis paid Mom's rent in exchange for childcare, could Mom manage on the pension income? That way she'd be set until she could get into affordable Senior Housing. Another option is for Mom to find a nice roommate situation.

Catbert

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #13 on: June 03, 2019, 09:41:57 AM »
This is very messed up. Sounds like SIL doesn’t want to pay for daycare. I would say no. Sign up for low income senior housing pronto. 
I'm kind of thinking along these lines, too. What is Sis paying Mom for her services? If Sis paid Mom's rent in exchange for childcare, could Mom manage on the pension income? That way she'd be set until she could get into affordable Senior Housing. Another option is for Mom to find a nice roommate situation.

It's one thing to support an aged relative but a whole different thing to subsidize a grown-up sibling so they can have a nicer life.  Before I would even consider helping MIL with money I'd find out how much SIL is paying her babysitter. 

Laurak

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #14 on: June 03, 2019, 12:00:38 PM »
SIL isn't paying anything for the childcare, I imagine it would be weird. That said it's not like the MIL is covering a Sat evening's date night, so if the SIL is on nights that's full-time caring as shifts are 8-8 for 3 days. They're in NZ, so culturally very similar to the US but with a bit more healthcare! Part of the issue is that the MIL spent her retirement savings early as she didn't think that she'd get to this age... she had cancer 20 years ago, and is obviously a survivor.

It's not a good scenario at all, and the MIL just moved out of where she was renting to stay with a friend for a few months before moving in with SIL who's now thought twice about it.


former player

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #15 on: June 03, 2019, 12:05:19 PM »
I don't understand what would be weird about paying for child care.  It's certainly less weird than begging your relatives to support the person who is working for you without pay.

dougules

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #16 on: June 03, 2019, 12:11:11 PM »
One question, does the country where she lives have any filial responsibility laws?

Kris

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #17 on: June 03, 2019, 02:59:15 PM »
I don't understand what would be weird about paying for child care.  It's certainly less weird than begging your relatives to support the person who is working for you without pay.

I agree. I mean, good lord, your MIL is providing a hell of a lot of child care. Think about what that would cost her if she didn't have MIL. And she's not willing to do ANYTHING for her? I can't believe she expects this care for free, AND reneged on having her live with her, AND apparently isn't even willing to now pay her so that she can have a place to live. Wow.

BabyShark

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #18 on: June 03, 2019, 03:14:26 PM »
Yea, I'm with everybody else, SIL should be at least paying something for MIL babysitting. Until that gets figured out, I wouldn't entertain the idea of helping.

Miss Piggy

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #19 on: June 03, 2019, 03:33:42 PM »
I don't understand what would be weird about paying for child care.  It's certainly less weird than begging your relatives to support the person who is working for you without pay.

I agree. I mean, good lord, your MIL is providing a hell of a lot of child care. Think about what that would cost her if she didn't have MIL. And she's not willing to do ANYTHING for her? I can't believe she expects this care for free, AND reneged on having her live with her, AND apparently isn't even willing to now pay her so that she can have a place to live. Wow.

Since you put it that way, it does sound pretty shitty.

urbanista

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #20 on: June 03, 2019, 05:40:38 PM »
For New Zealand, maximum rates for superannuation is 411pw + 165pw accomodation supplement. If NZ prices are anything like Australia, I would imagine MIL needs to find a cheaper rental. If 450pw is average, then abunch of rentals can be found for less. Say, 400pw rent. That leaves $215pw for everything else.

I would add another $100pw help from children, thats 430 NZ dollars or 285USD monthly, then split between two children.

Personally, I would send 150 USD monthly with the firm condition that MIL gets on the public housing waiting list.
« Last Edit: June 03, 2019, 05:42:11 PM by urbanista »

urbanista

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #21 on: June 03, 2019, 05:48:12 PM »
I just want to say that there are many benefits in being a living away child. As parents get older, there is a certain burden in taking care of them. Dealing with authorities, life issues, illnesses etc. Most likely it falls or will fall on the SIL.

If my sis told me she would deal with our mum in exchange for me sending some money each month, my response would be "where do I sign".

Dicey

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #22 on: June 04, 2019, 12:23:33 AM »
I just want to say that there are many benefits in being a living away child. As parents get older, there is a certain burden in taking care of them. Dealing with authorities, life issues, illnesses etc. Most likely it falls or will fall on the SIL.

If my sis told me she would deal with our mum in exchange for me sending some money each month, my response would be "where do I sign".
Did you miss the part about Sis reneging on the proposed living arrangements?

No, it is NOT weird to pay your Mum for regular daycare! We are not talking about occasional babysitting here. OP's Mum is actually doing a j-o-b and should be p-a-i-d.

urbanista

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #23 on: June 04, 2019, 12:54:56 AM »
We don't know many facts of this situation. It is entirely possible that babysitting is only a couple of hours before/after school. Also, I bet it was SIL supporting MIL in her cancer battle. Sure, I am making assumptions here.

kei te pai

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #24 on: June 04, 2019, 02:54:43 AM »
Actually the OP says her SIL works 12hr night shifts 3 days a week, so it is likely she needs to stay overnight and either get the child to school, or mind them during the day while their mother sleeps.
Her MIL "cancer battle" was 20 yrs ago.
Housing is very expensive in NZ major cities, and I dont know that there is an easy solution here.
A move to a smaller town would be more affordable but it sounds like this has been discounted.

jeroly

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #25 on: June 04, 2019, 04:47:37 AM »
There seem to be many rooms available for rent in Auckland or Wellington with rents in the $200s. I'm sure some of these are shared with other older women.

dougules

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #26 on: June 04, 2019, 10:52:57 AM »
If it would be weird for your SIL to pay your MIL directly for child care, it could still come into consideration when deciding who's responsible for paying for her upkeep. 

Blue Skies

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #27 on: June 04, 2019, 02:27:03 PM »
There is zero chance I would be willing to pay for MIL's bills while she babysits for SIL for free.  Zero chance.  She can move somewhere more affordable, or SIL can figure out a way to pay her for her services. 

Laura33

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #28 on: June 05, 2019, 09:00:35 AM »
First, since this is your MIL and SIL, what does your DH want to do?

Second, if the two of you agree that some sort of support is reasonable and necessary, then here's what I'd suggest.

1.  Figure out what MIL's actual budget would need to be to get by, how much she has coming in, and what the gap is.  IMO, providing financial support entitles you to a full view of the financial situation.

2.  Figure out the fair market value of the free babysitting SIL receives -- what would she need to pay to hire someone else to do what MIL does for free?  Reduce this by some percentage to account for the fact that SIL is the local one and thus has to deal with all of the MIL issues -- 20%, 50%, whatever you think is fair given the number of ongoing problems (e.g., medical checkups) and personality conflicts.*  SIL should be solely responsible for covering this amount of your MIL's needs, because she alone is receiving the benefit of the free babysitting (and handling the burden of dealing with MIL).

3.  Subtract #2 from #1.  This is the gap that needs to be filled by both you and SIL (because the subtraction of the babysitting value is just "payment for services received and rendered between MIL and SIL").  Divide this number by 2 to figure out the additional support that should be provided by each of you.  If you and your DH agree that you can afford it, send that amount in assistance every month.

3.a  Note that there is a decent chance that when you subtract 2 from 1, the result will be negative, i.e., MIL is providing more in free services than she needs to cover her bills.  It sounds like there is not too much of an income gap to cover, and MIL is effectively providing on-demand, full-time babysitting, which is expensive, and so if MIL was getting paid for her services, she could more than cover her own bills.  If that is the case, then you may reasonably decline the request.  Either SIL can cover MIL's additional needs (in recognition that SIL is getting a steal of a deal on the babysitting), or MIL can offer her babysitting services on the market (where she would earn more than enough to support herself) and SIL can pay for her own babysitter. 

*I love my MIL, but I'm pretty sure I'd need someone to pay me to actually live with her.  ;-)  Then again, beggars can't be choosers and all that.

EngineerOurFI

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #29 on: June 06, 2019, 03:40:12 AM »
+1 to what Kris said.

I have a toddler and grandma's on both side have helped watch him for various one-off occurrences.  My MIL is well off and doesn't need any kind of financial assistance, but when my mom (who is doing okay but due to various circumstances is still working in her late sixties) watches our son for any amount of time, I fill her gas tank and have a meal ready for her either in the fridge or takeout delivered, etc. (she won't take direct $).  Basically amounts to about $50 in goods transferred to my mom for ~4-5 hours of watching toddler.  If we were talking about my mom helping for any kind of extended amount of time, I would absolutely insist on paying her a reasonable amount of money directly on a regular basis.  Period, full stop.

Only way I've ever seen other families have grandmas watch kids for extended periods of time on regular schedules (read: basically full-time daycare) is if grandma is basically rich and doesn't need the money, grandma is living with family rent-free and basically is thereby able to use social security as expendable income, or if family is paying grandparent a reasonable some of money on a regular basis - maybe not full commercial rate for the services and maybe cash under the table - but a reasonable sum of at least $10/hr.

Figure out what SIL is paying MIL before you consider anything.  It's absolutely your business to know that information.  MIL is basically subsidizing SIL's living situation with free care.  If you subsidize your MIL, you're just paying your MIL to subsidize your SIL.  This is a recipe for disaster and will build great resentment, in my opinion (based on experience with similar situation between my brother and his useless BIL who basically burned through the MIL's entire savings while my brother was literally paying to make sure MIL had her fridge stocked with food....)

Question - Does OP have kids?  If so, very useful point would be to carefully bring up that you paid for xx daycare or whatever or you sacrificed $xx opportunity cost in wife working in order to provide childcare for your kids, so maybe something of at least 70% of $xx is a very reasonable sum for SIL to pay MIL....?

I don't understand what would be weird about paying for child care.  It's certainly less weird than begging your relatives to support the person who is working for you without pay.

I agree. I mean, good lord, your MIL is providing a hell of a lot of child care. Think about what that would cost her if she didn't have MIL. And she's not willing to do ANYTHING for her? I can't believe she expects this care for free, AND reneged on having her live with her, AND apparently isn't even willing to now pay her so that she can have a place to live. Wow.

CrustyBadger

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #30 on: June 06, 2019, 04:25:55 AM »
Your MIL Is 69 and not in good health, and isn't bringing in enough every month to cover her housing needs.  You sound like you are starting a new business and aren't sure of your monthly cash income yourself?

I would have your husband tell his sister, "We can help with mom's needs, but need to be sure whatever is in place is sustainable."  And something sustainable needs to be in place before you start sending financial assistance.  That probably means your husband needs to fly out there and spend some time with his sister and mom digging into finances, services for elderly, and so on. 

Mom needs to be living somewhere she can afford on her pension, or at least to get on some lists for affordable housing, learn about food assistance or whatever else is out there for seniors.  Sister might be using Mom for free daycare, but at almost 70 and in poor health, Mom can't be relied on for that assistance for too much longer.  Nor can it be assumed she can do this work for other people in the future, depending on what her health needs are.  She might not be hirable on the open market.

Zamboni

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #31 on: June 06, 2019, 07:16:14 AM »
Yeah, when my own MIL watched our little ones so we could both work, I insisted on paying her. My spouse (now ex-spouse) didn't want to pay her anything, which I thought was greedy and shitty. MIL tried to side with the "you don't need to pay me" attitude because she is soft to my ex's manipulative BS, but I was firm:

Yes, we need to pay you if you watch our kids while we work. This is what other adults charge us to watch our kids ($10/hour at that time), so that is what we will pay you. Ex kept up the pressure for her to do it for free, so she felt guilty taking the money, but I stayed firm. She ended up putting most of it into college savings accounts, which she controls and can still access, but that was HER CHOICE. It seemed to allay MIL's guilt trip which was constantly being fed by ex-. We made 4x more money than she ever did for crying out loud!

The whole situation pisses me off. Your SIL is being borderline abusive by not paying her fair market value, in my opinion.

Dicey

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #32 on: June 06, 2019, 07:29:58 AM »
Yeah, when my own MIL watched our little ones so we could both work, I insisted on paying her. My spouse (now ex-spouse) didn't want to pay her anything, which I thought was greedy and shitty. MIL tried to side with the "you don't need to pay me" attitude because she is soft to my ex's manipulative BS, but I was firm:

Yes, we need to pay you if you watch our kids while we work. This is what other adults charge us to watch our kids ($10/hour at that time), so that is what we will pay you. Ex kept up the pressure for her to do it for free, so she felt guilty taking the money, but I stayed firm. She ended up putting most of it into college savings accounts, which she controls and can still access, but that was HER CHOICE. It seemed to allay MIL's guilt trip which was constantly being fed by ex-. We made 4x more money than she ever did for crying out loud!

The whole situation pisses me off. Your SIL is being borderline abusive by not paying her fair market value, in my opinion.
Thanks for a real-life, BTDT example, Zamboni.

Zamboni

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #33 on: June 06, 2019, 08:47:13 AM »
Edited to add that when I say we made 4x more than she ever did, I meant 4x more than the job she had as a head nurse before she retired . . . not 4x more than the $10 an hours, which didn't even dent our budget.

I think your sister needs to pay her market rate for childcare, which may be less than daytime dollars if it is overnight and everyone is asleep, but it's still no where near $0.

Like Laura said, there is a good chance you won't even need to contribute if your MIL is being fairly compensated for her work.

Laurak

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #34 on: June 07, 2019, 02:51:11 PM »
This is great, thanks everyone! One of the main issues is that this family isn't great at talking, and all have the ostrich attitude. This is excellent food for thought. We only found out last weekend that MIL hasn't had any payment at all for effectively co-parenting, not sure if the 'dad' pays any child support. We need to get more info on it all. I'll report back.

Zamboni

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #35 on: June 08, 2019, 09:09:22 AM »
I'm totally cool with family having ostrich attitude . . . until they want MY MONEY!

Good luck with everything.

Dicey

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #36 on: June 08, 2019, 09:47:18 AM »
I'm totally cool with family having ostrich attitude . . . until they want MY MONEY!

Good luck with everything.
I've never understood why people want me to pay for their choices. Especially if they are able bodied and were given the same opportunities and upbringing that I was.

GizmoTX

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Re: Support a family member who's terrible with $$s
« Reply #37 on: June 09, 2019, 11:49:30 AM »
I'm totally cool with family having ostrich attitude . . . until they want MY MONEY!

Good luck with everything.
I've never understood why people want me to pay for their choices. Especially if they are able bodied and were given the same opportunities and upbringing that I was.

Because it's easy and they're entitled.