Good, you've simplified some. Now, the best way to lower the interest you paid is to not need to pay it at all. Once the refi has gone through, take your brokerage account or whatever extra cash you have that's dedicated to SL debt and make a big payment.
I'm guessing you have an amortization schedule? If not, find one. They're pretty easy to make in excel if you how they work. Specifically, you need to tell both the logical and emotional sides that if you make a lump sum payment now, you are permanently reducing the amount of interest you'll pay. Make a payment of $1000 now? Look at what that does to future interest charges. Change it to $5k - what does that do? Spoilers - it lowers it. Don't wipe out our EF to do this, but whatever you've got saved up that will go towards SL debt - use it.
Also, it's ok to pay attention to your emotions. Obviously, you still want to analyze things, but we are not machines. Emotions are part of us and we can't change that. Work on the emotional side of things, I bet it'll make life a little better overall for you. (this bothered you all night... you crave simplicity but feel guilty...) Maybe you started with 240k, great you're down to 50k! So, you're going to refi to a lower rate (hopefully), that will help with interest a little.
What happened in the past is done, you can't undo or change it, all you can do is learn from it and try to improve in the future.