Author Topic: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner  (Read 7260 times)

jpo

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Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« on: April 24, 2013, 11:22:56 AM »
Perhaps ... a new thread should be started? How did you meet your spouse/partner and how did you know that he/she was the one?
Suggested in the other thread, I would love to know everyone's $.02 on this.

Also, whether you picked someone and they (hopefully) became mustachian, or were they mustachian before you got married?
« Last Edit: April 24, 2013, 11:43:49 AM by jpo »

Freda

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Re: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2013, 11:36:45 AM »
I met my husband at the daycare his daughter and my daughter both attended.

He's much more financially moustachian than I am (though he wouldn't know the term), but I'm getting there.

tmac

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Re: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« Reply #2 on: April 24, 2013, 12:03:22 PM »
I mentioned this in another thread, but I'm happy to share it again.

I met my husband at work at an ad agency, but we got to know each other through the band we both played in. The company was a very un-Mustachian place and we could have gotten lost in the chaos, but we found each other through shared interests.

He picked me up for our first date in his 20-year-old Volvo wagon, with his 3-year-old son in the back seat. We talked about our pasts and our plans for the future. We were clear about the kind of life we wanted and who we really were, right away.

We used free tickets from our employer to go to an outdoor festival. He bought me a hot dog and I bought him a beer. We were both frugal but generous; and we assumed shared responsibility.

Later that week, his ex-wife bailed on his son's 4th birthday party, so I pitched in at the last minute by decorating the room and making a cake. The week after that, he helped me move, then I bought us a 6-pack and a pizza to eat on boxes at the new place. We were cooperative, and willing to go out of our way to help each other.

Honestly? He had me at Volvo. ;)

We were engaged within the month, we have three kids, and our 11th anniversary is in a few days. :)


StarswirlTheMustached

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Re: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« Reply #3 on: April 24, 2013, 12:26:38 PM »
She was actually my high school sweetheart, so I guess we just lucked out that we are two naturally frugal people. Certainly wasn't something I was taking under consideration at age 17.

brewer12345

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Re: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« Reply #4 on: April 24, 2013, 12:44:50 PM »
DW and I met as sophomores in college when we were both living in the same coopoerative dorm/dining hall (which had co-ed cattle showers).  I broke up with my long distance girlfriend back home and DW moved right in.  She grew up being frugal and our personalities match well (she is the empath, I am analytical) and we will be married 17 years this fall.

Spork

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Re: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« Reply #5 on: April 24, 2013, 01:03:22 PM »
Short answer: we met at work

I could give a really long how-we-met and why-I-found-her-attractive answer... but I'm not sure that's relevant.  I was really just lucky.  Really lucky. 

Or after bad and spendy 1st marriage: maybe it was karma being really REALLY nice to me.

She's at least as cheap as me and has a really good mind for investing.  (Unlike MMM, I don't find the "cheap" term offensive.  I wallow in it.)  We're at 18 years.  I think I'm almost off the probation period.

anastrophe

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Re: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« Reply #6 on: April 24, 2013, 01:03:55 PM »
Lucked out. We met in college but I guess you could say we both had fairly mustachian shared interests. My partner has become more frugal since being with me, though, and I am still the more hardcore of us (partner's just agreeable).

I Love Cake

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Re: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« Reply #7 on: April 24, 2013, 01:26:09 PM »
We met at work. Were friends for a couple of years first. I had a long term boyfriend, and he played the field and dated lots of other women at work.

But after one date how could he resist me? We've been together over 13 years, lived together for 11 years and married for almost 9 years

Mariana

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Re: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« Reply #8 on: April 24, 2013, 01:37:40 PM »
My fiance and I met in college--we were both chemistry TAs. I totally lucked out he is one of the most naturally frugal and conscientious people I've ever met. As we've grown into full adulthood together, it has been very natural to become increasingly mustachian. We're definitely not as badass/hardcore as some, but we appreciate our simple, low-stress lifestyle!
I love hearing all these stories!

mlipps

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Re: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« Reply #9 on: April 24, 2013, 01:52:29 PM »
Fiance and I went to high school together & apparently he was smitten with me from freshman year. I was happily oblivious to it, but we reconnected about 18 months ago and knew almost immediately that it was right. I think coming from similar backgrounds/culture helps; we grew up in a rural area and life is just simpler there.

He's definitely more naturally frugal than I am, but I'm the one who enjoys really delving into the details of budgeting, saving, etc. I think he's always had intentions of being FI at a young age, so we push each other towards that goal. For me, family & free time are my number one priorities and that helps me to sacrifice despite my natural urge to spend.

jpo

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Re: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« Reply #10 on: April 25, 2013, 09:57:01 AM »
Interesting that just about everyone has married someone frugal/Mustachian instead of changing post-nuptials. Maybe a big bristly mustache is the epitome of romance!

expatartist

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Re: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« Reply #11 on: April 26, 2013, 01:16:55 AM »
I met the Man during a stint teaching in South Korea. He spent double what he earned that year, partying. I burnt most of my savings doing visa runs. We were both definitely non-Mustachian at that point ;) In the ten years since, we've lived and worked in a half-dozen different economies, bought a small house with cash, and are working at being more consistent in our daily/monthly goal-setting. Still newbies at stashing, at the ripe old ages of 38 & 44. We've lived really unconventional lives, and are now looking at getting our act together financially re. investments and debt elimination.

ace1224

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Re: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« Reply #12 on: April 26, 2013, 05:26:06 AM »
we met at a bar in college in 03 and have been together since the night we met, and were very anti-mustachian until he lost his job in 08 and became a sahd for 2 years while my income supported us.
thankfully the one mustachian thing we had done was buy a house that required only one person to be working to pay the mortgage.  we have slowly become more conscious/frugal since then and since finding MMM we are trying to do even more.  we both love the idea of fuck you money so that's the goal.

Worsted Skeins

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Re: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« Reply #13 on: April 26, 2013, 06:02:16 AM »
We met in grad school where everyone was broke. Mustashianism was not a choice but a necessity!  Interestingly both of us came from frugal parents. 

Dr.Vibrissae

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Re: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« Reply #14 on: April 26, 2013, 06:35:50 AM »
We met at a toga party at the end of our freshman/sophmore years.  I was a DD and drove him home when the cops broke it up and his ride left without him.  He made everyone in the car easy mac, oreos and milk and we've been together ever since.  The Mr. is definitely not a natural saver, the joke goes that he could walk into a bank to get cash and by the time he got out he'd have nothing to show but a fistfull of suckers and a pocket full of change.

That being said, he's not actively anti-saving, he's more of an impulsive spender (much improved I would say) and overall we share very similar values and goals. 

Jane

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Re: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« Reply #15 on: April 26, 2013, 07:51:51 AM »
We met on eharmony. I was frugal-ish at the time - no consumer debt, saved money every month. I had still had a ways to go in improving my spending/saving and wasn't specifically looking for an extreme frugal person, but I didn't want a big spender either. I lucked out meeting my husband because he is just naturally extremely frugal, which then set me down a better path. After getting to know him more, his frugalness became very attractive thing to me, since the last guy I dated before him bought himself things like a Louis Vuitton wallet, luxury cars, and other status symbol kinds of things, I wanted to run far far away from anyone like him.

madgeylou

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Re: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« Reply #16 on: April 26, 2013, 08:24:18 AM »
i met my husband about 15 years ago. he moved from scotland to pittsburgh to be with a woman who was an acquaintance of mine. i met him the first night he got here! and we became good friends and co-workers. we were neighbors, too, and he'd always bring, like, a homemade tart full of homegrown gooseberries to my parties.

i was always really impressed that he seemed to keep his word much more thoroughly than most everyone else i knew. like, if he said, "you'd love this album, i'll burn you a copy," sure enough, next time you'd see him, he'd have a CD for you.

anyway their marriage wasn't great, and they got divorced, and i pounced, and he pounced back. :D

i feel bad that he was in such an unhappy relationship for such a long time ... but grateful, too, because otherwise i'd never have met him!

daymare

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Re: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« Reply #17 on: April 26, 2013, 01:43:29 PM »
Not married, but my boyfriend of 4+ years and I met at ... a ball. (At university)  I initially was only interested because he's really attractive (and what can I say, looks matter to me), but luckily he's a natural Mustachian and extremely kind to boot.  Honestly, I think what really helps is that we're both smart/analytical (I did math/econ, he's an engineer) and nerdy in that we love learning and thinking and can get absorbed in an interesting topic fairly easily.  We were both raised by parents who immigrated to the US and so have had some really lean times in childhood and then relative luxury in our older years as parents became established.  I'm way more into finance/investing, but he holds his own.  Yesterday we discussed our hypothetical prenup for our hypothetical marriage -- it's great to have a partner who enjoys discussing complex issues, and I consider meeting him to be an extremely lucky event, and staying with him (& likely eventually marrying him) to be the best financial decision I've made.

In summary: nerds make the best partners :)

madgeylou

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Re: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« Reply #18 on: April 26, 2013, 01:48:34 PM »
In summary: nerds make the best partners :)

yes! when i was growing up, my aunt lucy always told me, "marry a nerd." and i did, and so far so good! :)

mlipps

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Re: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« Reply #19 on: April 26, 2013, 01:57:30 PM »
In summary: nerds make the best partners :)

yes! when i was growing up, my aunt lucy always told me, "marry a nerd." and i did, and so far so good! :)

His nerdiness was EXACTLY why I had no interest in my fiance in high school, but I wouldn't trade it for anything now! :)

mustachecat

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Re: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« Reply #20 on: April 26, 2013, 03:01:37 PM »
I met my guy through one of my best friends. They used to work together, and she brought him to a party I threw seven years ago. We only spoke for a few minutes that first meeting, but that was enough.

Anyway, back then, he was hopeless with money. If I told you all the details of his financial transgressions, you'd probably be convinced that I saddled myself with a dud. But he changed, and he's still changing, and it's awesome.

madgeylou

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Re: Spinoff: Finding A (Possibly) Mustachian Partner
« Reply #21 on: April 26, 2013, 03:10:10 PM »
In summary: nerds make the best partners :)

yes! when i was growing up, my aunt lucy always told me, "marry a nerd." and i did, and so far so good! :)

His nerdiness was EXACTLY why I had no interest in my fiance in high school, but I wouldn't trade it for anything now! :)

funny how that works, isn't it? i had to get my head out of my ass, too, before i could stop dating broke musician boys and recognize the excellent man right in front of me!