Slipping up majorly

[norabird]

I wasn't perfect at flexing my  non-spending muscles, but I had at least gotten much better about it these last few months and had made a lot of progress this year on paying down my cc card debt (right now is $4,180 at 7.24% and $2,348 at 0%). Then I moved last week and lost a lot of the ground I had gained--didn't have any furniture so bought a lot on craigslist, and bought apartment supplies at target and bed bath and beyond, and paid movers and had a bed bug inspector come. This is a place my parents bought, so it's not a cost that I expect to repeat, but I feel so down about the spending--I've also been spending more on food too, in the midst of running around on errands and being stressed by the move. I think my costs right now have run to about $1,500. I am having trouble saying no I guess--waiting to get certain items would probably be possible, but I want to have a usable living space now, but I know that 'wanting' things and feeling that I deserve them when I don't really have the money for them has always trapped me in the past and I'm afraid it's the same impulse at work now.

Just dejected about the reversal in spending habits. I do plan to get back on the horse soon and minimize the damage, but the damage is still there. Not sure if I'm looking for advice or reassurance or face punches? I am disappointed in the spending but also know that sometimes expensive periods of life just come up...which is why in the future I want to have cash saved for these instances, and now I'm even farther away from that goal than I was at the start of the month.

[SunshineGirl]

As long as you make forward progress starting TODAY, this is just a blip in the overall scheme of things. Freeze your credit cards until they're paid off.

Will this move help you save in other ways?

[Cheddar Stacker]

The best thing about life is that each day provides a new opportunity. You've identified a problem which is the first step, now you have to fix it. I would put nearly everything on hold for now. Your space is usable as it is, it's just not ideal. But neither is $6,500 in CC debt. Which non-ideal situation is more important to change at this point in your life? Make that decision, then make peace with it.

[fallstoclimb]

Yeah I'll also add that 7% debt wouldn't be a motivator for me not to have a place to sit in my home.  It's CC debt but these are student loan interest rates, really.

Just take it one day at a time.  You can't change the past.  Maybe do freeze your credit card until you pay it off?

[olivia]

Moving also knocked me off the Mustachian bandwagon, so I completely understand.  Try to slow down the purchasing now and work with what you've got for now, and slowly add things that aren't absolute necessities.  I think stopping it now is key!  I backslid for way too long in the whirlwind of a new city, new job and new place to live.  You can do this!

[soccerluvof4]

Peaks and Valleys! Higher Peaks and Lower Valleys and you will be fine!!

[norabird]

Peaks and Valleys! Higher Peaks and Lower Valleys and you will be fine!!

Thank you all! I need to remember this and live by it. It is scary how fast the old 'oh here's my non-existent money on loan for me to use for everything!' reflex came back, now I must back away carefully and put the credit cards away...

[ariapluscat]

Then I moved last week and lost a lot of the ground I had gained--didn't have any furniture so bought a lot on craigslist, and bought apartment supplies at target and bed bath and beyond, and paid movers and had a bed bug inspector come. This is a place my parents bought, so it's not a cost that I expect to repeat, but I feel so down about the spending--I've also been spending more on food too, in the midst of running around on errands and being stressed by the move. I think my costs right now have run to about $1,500.

I'm in a similar position as far as moving into a new place and furnishing it. I think there's a balance. If the things you are buying are good quality and you will be using them daily for years, then it's a worthwhile investment.

While BBandB probably isn't a bastion of quality, if you need a shower curtain RIGHT THEN, you need it RIGHT THEN. So forgive yourself for that type of purchase!

Just remember, these might well be one time costs, if you really love the furniture you bought. I have a few friends who bought bedframes, couches, and appliances that they replaced in less than a year, throwing away the old one. They don't see it as a big deal to spend all this $$ multiple times since (apparently) they can't stand looking at the old stuff. I don't think you'd make that mistake, but if you like to update furniture regularly then be aware, to keep the cost down.

Best of luck with your new place!

[windawake]

I totally feel you. I spent a lot when I moved into my apartment, which my parents also bought for me to live in. I had some furniture already but had to buy bookshelves, kitchen table/chairs, and bar stools. I got almost everything on Craigslist and I wasn't afraid to do a little work to the pieces I bought (painting, re-covering, etc.). I really, really love my home and furniture. I've lived in my apartment for over three years now and, besides building a new coffee table, haven't had any additional furniture purchases since.

So relax, it's worth it to have a nice space to come home to.

[Goldielocks]

Hmm, 

I did not read about splurging on $600 crocodile cowboy boots and fancy $100 throw pillows.   You wrote about CL finds, Bed Bug inspectors and movers.

Relax!   this is all normal and good.  Just start up again and enjoy your good decisions despite the stress.  Your "mistakes" will just help you be compassionate with others, in their turn.   If this is as bad as you get, I think you are in a great position for future.

[Moonwaves]

I do plan to get back on the horse soon and minimize the damage, but the damage is still there.

Why soon? Why not now? Don't let yourself fall into the trap I did several times, "oh well, since I've spent 2,000 on my credit card now what difference does another 100 make, I'm crap and will never get out of debt anyway and sure everyone does it" plus variations on the theme. If you like, have a read of my thread on the askaboutmoney forum (Irish financial website) as a reminder of how quickly it can all build back up again.

I am disappointed in the spending but also know that sometimes expensive periods of life just come up...which is why in the future I want to have cash saved for these instances, and now I'm even farther away from that goal than I was at the start of the month.

Start aiming for it anyway. It sounds like you would benefit greatly from an emergency fund so start putting money aside for this every month now. I don't know what you currently pay towards debt or savings but if you're haven't already started saving for an emergency fund do it now. Maybe look at what you're paying to debt every month and allocate, say 10%, to go instead towards an emergency fund or something like that. It can be a great psychological boost to even have 100 or 500 in cash available at any time, which can actually make you less inclined to spend money and decide you can just wait to get something that you thought you really needed.

If you really think you're not quite finished yet, make a list of the things you absolutely must still get, figure out the cost and then use your cards only to get those things. Or post the list here and I'm sure there will be plenty of people willing to offer opinions on whether or not you really need those things or not, or able to suggest alternatives. There definitely is something to be said for having a nice living space and that allowing you to relax enough that the rest of your debt-free journey will be a bit easier but it's important to be realistic about it, too.

[Thegoblinchief]

+1 to what Moonwaves said.

Before mustache, if we blew past a budget line item I'd just keep rolling and say fuck it, we've already blew it.

We just had 2 months of very high expenses, but I know exactly what we spent and why it needed to be done. I also have a picture of how much we need to save extra to make up the difference over the longer term.

Another example: last month I was 12 days away from the end of the month with $70 left in our grocery budget. I took it as a challenge to inventory our pantry and build a shopping list using known prices to get us through 2 weeks for under $70 - for a family of 5!

[pachnik]

Just get back on the horse again.  I have times that are spendy and just do my best to spend consciously.  Adding more debt isn't going to help.  Moving does create stress but things will settle down fast now that you are done moving.

We're moving over the weekend and have hired movers - mainly for the furniture.  Our new space is much bigger than our current apartment.  We don't really 'need' anything because we definitely have basic furniture.  We'll keep our eyes open for a dining room set on CL or at the auction but there is no rush to buy it.  My husband is interested in making some shelves himself in my dad's work shop. 

[ioseftavi]

+1 to what Moonwaves said.

Before mustache, if we blew past a budget line item I'd just keep rolling and say fuck it, we've already blew it.

What moonwaves and goblinchief is so, so key.  Blowing your budget occasionally is FINE, because it's guaranteed to happen sometimes.   But key variables are:
-How often does this happen?
-How much did you blow it by?
-How quickly did you get back on track?

Don't use "falling off the wagon" of progress as an excuse to go crazy - arrest the slide as soon as possible!  Go $200 over budget?  Sigh, give yourself a gentle facepunch, and figure out how you can get back on track.

To me, this is one of the many ways that financial fitness and getting physically in shape are similar.  OK - maybe you missed the gym today and you were supposed to go.  That's too bad - but don't use the slip-up as a reason to stop going for 4 weeks, abandoning your healthier eating, etc, etc! 

My goal (personally) is not to NEVER EVER EVER go over budget.  It's just to do it less frequently than I used to, by only small amounts, and to realize I'm doing it and make a conscious decision to arrest the slide.  Onward and upward, Norabird!

[norabird]

I think I'm going to try to use the budget shortfall as an incentive to get rid of a bunch of my books and clothes by re-selling them over the next week. Won't give me much money in the end, probably, but it would give me some cash on hand so that I can stop the bleeding and it would reverse my trend from acquiring new things with money to getting rid of things to gain it, which I sorely need. All of the 'don't use already blowing the budget as an excuse to keep going' advice is exactly (uncomfortably) on the nose.