OP here, it's been almost five months since I walked away from my job as an environmental consultant. For those contemplating a similar move, I thought I would post a follow-up now that a fair amount of time has passed to share my experience. As a reminder, I have three young boys and a wife that is currently working PT as a consultant from home. The first thing I observed upon quitting is the psychological hurdle of the first dollar you don't make. For my entire adult life (age 16-40) I focused on either securing job credentials or advancing my career in order to make more money. To walk away from a six figure job was nearly a complete departure from that mindset.
From my experience, here are the early impacts/observations on FIRE:
Finances
Good news, due to the continued bull run and continuing income from my wife's work, we hit our "base" net worth FI goal about a month ago ($1.5 million). This number would allow us to sell our current house and move to a LCOL area and be FI by providing 1 million in investments, with the remaining 0.5 million for housing, cars, etc. That said, it's likely that the market is due for a correction, so our new goal is 1.8 million. This amount would allow us to stay in our current home if we desire and also provides a cushion in the event of a downturn. My staying at home has improved our finances on the margins. We let go of the monthly visit from the cleaning lady and cut cable. I'm growing more of our food. We no longer hire childcare to cover my wife's work schedule. We are driving far fewer miles with neither of us having a daily commute. I've also taken over meals for the most part and I'm focusing on planning meals around expiration dates and reducing food waste.
I still have a goal of purchasing a real estate investment property. Anyone living in the Front Range of Colorado knows the market here is crazy right now. Came across several properties that probably would have positive cash flowed as rentals, but I'm being very conservative with our first foray. Put in one offer, but opted not to accept or counter the seller's counter. Patience will be key here, as I continue to learn with each property I evaluate.
Happiness
This is where the rubber really meets the road, right? Fortunately, there has not been a day that I regret the decision or wish that I was headed off to my old job. This came as a relief and confirmed that I had made the right decision. As others FIRE folks warned, it was not a situation where I woke up on day one and felt like a new person, completely stress free. Wanting to feel productive, I jumped right into being a SAHD, but probably put to much pressure on myself to be uber productive immediately. Additional time with the kids, though challenging at times, has been the best part of the change. The wife and I struggled some with new roles. She had to surrender a lot of the household duties, and I had to be sensitive that I was encroaching on her terrain. Simple things like what laundry detergent, how the dishwasher is loaded, child discipling techniques, and what kind of toilet paper to buy were sources of friction. Took some patience and feeling things out, but we are reestablishing new routines and roles. The ability to live life off peak and simple things like the wife and I taking a walk to get a coffee mid-morning have been some of the simple but most rewarding changes. I've had to learn to be patient and lower expectations as to the number of things I can get done despite all my "freedom". Especially during the summer, taking care of three active little boys really is a full-time job, so larger projects (i.e., redoing our fireplace) have been slow coming and probably will wait until the school year starts.
Health
I am getting more exercise (more time and energy for this pursuit), though again, not as much as I would hope. At least I'm not sitting on my are for 8 hours a day anymore! We are eating a bit healthier, since I can start meals sooner and start from scratch. I've lost about five pounds so far, with a goal of losing at least 5 more. Building new routines takes time though, and again I have to manage expectations and not expect to recreate myself in a few months. I'm a passionate skier and being able to ski at a high level is motivation as we head towards the winter.
Healthcare was a pain in the butt, as we purchased insurance on the open market for the first time. We ended up purchasing a high deductible plan (Bright Health) off the Colorado ACA exchange. Using a broker to navigate the system was a big help. We did not qualify for any ACA subsidies due to my wife's income, so we are paying roughly $1,100 month for a bronze family plan and supplemental plan. I did learn through the process that for insurance purposes, I'm no longer considered to have a preexisting condition once I'm cancer free for 5 years. Happy to say that milestone is coming up in September.
Highlights/Notables
Kids were excited to have dad around more!
Day hikes/mid-week backpacking trip
Day Rockies game
Three-week vacation back east to visit family without worrying about vacation days
Yard and garden never looked better and I get all my yard chores done during the week
Organizing the house and tackling some long-shelved (small) projects
More quality time with my wife when we're not just scrambling to stay afloat
Negatives:
As others warned, some family and friends just don't get it. Sometimes it's generational or gender based bias, they're fine with a stay at home mom, but a stay at home dad, especially one that quits a good job, doesn't compute, or worse, they think I'm being irresponsible. Of course, I'm not going to live my life to meet others expectations, but it was sad that we could feel one of our best and closest friends (married couple) disapprovingly judging us, even though they have no idea of our financial situation.
There have been a few occasions when I felt a lack of purpose or motivation. I'm being productive and taking care of the kids/house is obviously important, but I know long term I need to add pursuits outside the family/home, such as volunteering, PT work in a fulfilling field (i.e. sustainability) real estate, etc., to provide that sense of purpose as the kids get older.
With freedom comes responsibility and the need for greater self control. Having access to food at all hours of the day at home is a challenging temptation. As is the temptation to stay up late streaming my favorite show or having a few weekday beers because I don't have to get up early and go to work. Like with most of life, moderation in all things...
I'm not an extrovert by any means, so having to make small talk with parents at school drop offs and pick-ups, schedule play dates, etc. has not been my fav. Being one of only a handful of males in this female dominated world is also challenging.
The best for last...
Two years ago, my wife quit an unfulfilling job, where after childcare expenses, commuting costs, etc. she was reaping limited financial gain. Her company had stopped giving her anything but COL raises and was no longer investing in her career advancement. About a year ago, a former co-worked reached out with an offer to do some consulting from home and helped her set up an LLC. From a few odd jobs, things quickly snow-balled. Fast forward to present and she was just offered a full-time position with a cancer drug development company where she loves the people she is working with and is a valued asset. The pay and benefits are generous (no HC premiums) and she will continue to work from home. As those in the MMM community know, all this was made possible because we were approaching FI, had a large cash reserve, and gave ourselves the flexibility to both quit jobs that no longer were satisfying. Good fortune has played a role, but sometimes you really do need to take step back to go forward.
Sorry for stream of conscious, novel-sized post, if you read this far hopefully it provided something of value.