To clarify a few points/answer questions:
- We have only one kid (the 1.5 yo). Another sibling has the other two. The 3rd sibling has none.
- I lived in Alaska for 3 years growing up, so I'm pretty familiar with activities that can be done there. :) Most things I would want to do aren't really suitable for a young child. For example, I have really fond memories of hiking up a mountain and walking on a glacier. My brother who was 6-7 at the time did just fine, but it doesn't work for the little ones. The older two can't walk it and are active creatures who wouldn't be happy being carried that long even if our backs held out (we're older parents...and not proper mustachian in shape biking everyday ones). (Moreover, I do want to take my kid there when he's older enough to remember it, so it wouldn't even be a "once in a lifetime trip".) I've been to all of the cruise ship cities multiple times.
- I said location was somewhat irrelevant as we all live far apart, but someone wanted to know more details of where. We live East Coast, West Coast, and Mexico.
- We will not be leaving our kid behind. My folks wouldn't take him that long, we aren't keen on them watching him alone at their place anyways just yet (my mom persists in trying to put him in antique crib/high chair that are incredibly unsafe), and I wouldn't want to leave him for 9 days at that age anyways. Plus part of the point of the family trip is so he gets to know his aunts/uncles/cousins.
For the ideas:
- I will propose Puerto Rico/Bermuda cruises but I suspect they will be shot down for Zika concerns. (I already suggested beach generally, and the response came back "Zika" as if all beaches had Zika.)
- I'll suggest a stay put vacation in Alaska.
- I'll suggest everyone rent a different cabin.
- However, as I mentioned in my initial post, one house rental is completely out because of the privacy factor. This is the sibling that asked for a hotel room away from everyone else at our wedding. (It was a challenge because we also needed to keep the divorced parents far apart too!) Here's an excerpted portion of her exact words: "We also like that on a cruise everyone has their own space and can meet up with other family members or not, and there's prepared food available pretty much all the time. If we do a cruise we can also offer it up to any friends/extended family/in-laws etc. and whoever joins makes it more the merrier!"
If this SIL is determined to go on this particular cruise, your only real option is to say, thanks for the invite but we won't be able to come. If she's going to be selfish/oblivious, she can suffer the consequences.
Yes, that's the backup plan. But it's nice to at least suggest some ideas that fit the stated criteria first, so we at least tried. We didn't go on the last two "family" vacations because the first they planned and invited us on *right* after we got back from a vacation so we had no vacation days to spare, and the second because I was pregnant and they planned it in Zikaland. (Clearly they go to a lot of effort to make sure we're involved in the planning process...)
PLEASE do not quote me as I'll edit this later to remove a bunch of identifying details.