Author Topic: Reconsidering Buying a House, But Feeling Guilty - Help!  (Read 1180 times)

cysewr

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Reconsidering Buying a House, But Feeling Guilty - Help!
« on: September 12, 2018, 08:04:31 PM »
Hi there,

A few months back, I posted a question about buying a house. The general consensus was that it would probably be better for me to wait, and continue saving in the meantime. I have continued to look at houses since then, going so far as to put in offers (unsuccessfully) on a two that had an extra room I could rent out, but the market has been pretty hot here and none of my offers were accepted

While renting was suggested to me by some on this board, I've been hesitant to rent up to this point. This is because I didn't have anyone in mind who I would feel comfortable with as a roommate (I've heard a lot of nightmare stories, and value my privacy), and renting a place alone would be too expensive to really save all that much extra (I posted a case study the other day if you are curious for any of the specifics of my current situation). But then friend of mine recently approached me about getting an apartment together, and it seems like a good fit, at least while he is in the area (until next September). Splitting the rent on a 2 bedroom apartment is sounding better and better, especially with the fact that I'm frustrated after looking at so many houses, and would only be able to put about 7% as a down payment.

Now all that being said, I am feeling really guilty about all the time my realtor has put in showing me houses over the last several months if I decide to pull the plug on my house search. I know that isn't a good reason to buy a house (or to even keep looking, if it isn't the right time for me to buy), but I feel like a dirtbag for taking up the time it took to view probably 15+ houses with my realtor. Does anyone have any experience with this, or any insight for me?

Thank you all in advance for your advice.

Edit: To be clear, I think I will probably buy a house at some point, and if I do, I fully intend to use the realtor I'm working with now. But there is also the possibility that I will enjoy renting, and will go that route for several years.
« Last Edit: September 12, 2018, 08:11:28 PM by cysewr »

Another Reader

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Re: Reconsidering Buying a House, But Feeling Guilty - Help!
« Reply #1 on: September 12, 2018, 08:11:49 PM »
You tell your agent that you have decided to rent for another year because of the market and you will call her when you are ready to buy.  Show loyalty if she has treated you well and do exactly that.  Good agents know that every encounter does not result in a sale but if you treat your customer well, they will likely call you when circumstances change.

lhamo

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Re: Reconsidering Buying a House, But Feeling Guilty - Help!
« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2018, 08:22:48 PM »
Any good realtor works hard for their client.  But part of the motivation behind that is the knowledge that if the client is happy, regardless of whether or not they end up buying, they will refer other people to the realtor -- and more referrals means more sales in the long run.  If you have been happy with their service, send prospective clients to them.  Heck, I even show up at my realtor's open houses (she is a neighbor and does a lot of listings in our neighborhood) and talk her up to people who stop by! 

Prairie Stash

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Re: Reconsidering Buying a House, But Feeling Guilty - Help!
« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2018, 09:13:08 AM »
My first time with my realtor she showed several houses, we bid on some (multiple bidding wars in a market rising 5-10% a month - no joke, my house doubled in price in less then a year and stayed there for the past decade), then I bought.

Fast forward a few years, I thought about moving. So we looked at some more houses, didn't like anything and then stopped looking. We wasted her time.

Its no different then the helpful people at the clothing store, car lots, mortgage broker or any number of sales people. Sometimes they close, sometimes they don't. However, if at any point you feel like you are making a friend and that influences your decision making, you should get a new person to help you.

Keep it professional and business only. You're just a sale to them, nothing more, if they can't handle the occasional miss they were a pretty crappy salesperson anyhow. My old realtor was closing on a house every few weeks, the good ones always are, the crappy realtors need your sale.  If your realtor isn't gracious and sending you calendars every year for the next few years, you had a crappy realtor. The good ones know you'll be back, I expect a calendar every year until my realtor retires, shes optimistic and patient.

frugaliknowit

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Re: Reconsidering Buying a House, But Feeling Guilty - Help!
« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2018, 09:35:20 AM »
Would your realtor feel bad if he/she only showed you one property and you closed on it?

That's the business of sales, my friend.

socaso

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Re: Reconsidering Buying a House, But Feeling Guilty - Help!
« Reply #5 on: September 13, 2018, 02:10:35 PM »
You put in offers on some houses and it didn't work out. She knows you were serious about your house hunt, it's just a tough market. I think you should tell her you are going to rent for the time being but you still want to buy and will contact her when you are in a better position. In the meantime, if you hear of anyone looking for her services, make a recommendation. You are likely not the only client she can't get in a house if the market is tricky.

As far as wasting her time is concerned, I am in sales (not real estate) and people ask me to quote things for them all the time without buying the items. I do not consider that they wasted my time and I always thank them for thinking of me when they needed something. Sometimes they come back and buy something later, sometimes they refer other people to me and those people buy.

Altons Bobs

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Re: Reconsidering Buying a House, But Feeling Guilty - Help!
« Reply #6 on: September 15, 2018, 03:49:29 PM »
Don't have to feel guilty at all.

When we were going to start looking at houses, I contacted a long time realtor friend of mine, I told him that we would not be buying for 3-4 years but we wanted to start looking. I told him up front that it might be a waste of his time for years before he made his sale on the house we wanted to buy. He said no problem at all, that was his job, he wanted to help, not a waste of time at all.

A good realtor would not see that as a waste of time at all, so don't feel guilty.

SunnyDays

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Re: Reconsidering Buying a House, But Feeling Guilty - Help!
« Reply #7 on: September 17, 2018, 09:31:44 PM »
15 houses?  That's nothing!  I took 2 years to find my house with the same realtor and she only got half the commission because she had to split it with the seller's agent.  If it bothers you, buy a nice gift for them, but don't buy a house because you feel guilty!

patchyfacialhair

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Re: Reconsidering Buying a House, But Feeling Guilty - Help!
« Reply #8 on: September 18, 2018, 03:18:52 PM »
Guilt is not necessary at all. Tell them you're not in the market to buy for another year, and they'll completely understand, unless they're a horrible person, in which case you'll know to find someone better.

Finallyunderstand

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Re: Reconsidering Buying a House, But Feeling Guilty - Help!
« Reply #9 on: September 19, 2018, 09:35:08 AM »
I agree with most of the above.  It's not a big deal.  Happens all the time.  If you liked the agent just let them know you'll reach out again when you're ready to start looking next time.

MilesTeg

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Re: Reconsidering Buying a House, But Feeling Guilty - Help!
« Reply #10 on: September 19, 2018, 10:43:38 AM »
No, that's the agent's job. They take a big chunk of money to do that job (anywhere from 3-8%+ of the sale! depending on their rates and whether they represent both parties or not). The payoff for a real estate exchange is huge, and part of that is to pad for time spent that doesn't result in a sale/commission. It's just business, not personal.

Like others have said, don't burn the bridge if you want to show loyalty and all is well. Explain your situation (which seems to be that the market conditions are just not commiserate with your financial goals) and thank your agent for their time. If your agent is a professional, there will be no problem. If they aren't, then you should get a different agent anyway.
« Last Edit: September 19, 2018, 10:47:34 AM by MilesTeg »

cysewr

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Re: Reconsidering Buying a House, But Feeling Guilty - Help!
« Reply #11 on: September 19, 2018, 01:43:19 PM »
Thanks for the advice, everyone! I spoke with my agent on the phone yesterday, and he was very understanding. I told him that Id keep an eye on the market even though Im not planning to buy until my lease is close to ending, and that Id get in touch and let him know when I want to start looking at houses again. Really appreciate all the responses to my question.

thd7t

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Re: Reconsidering Buying a House, But Feeling Guilty - Help!
« Reply #12 on: September 19, 2018, 02:48:28 PM »
A small side note is that if the market is hot, your realtor is happy.  Don't worry!