Reading more about what you need from schools, here's what I have experienced. On school choice, safety will not be an issue at 99% of public schools whatever the borough, just read the
reviews before you move (and note that commenters usually are skewed towards those with an axe to grind). If you have the time, volunteer for the school parent-teacher association and you will very quickly have a community.
obsessing over a school choice smacks of elitism that I am not sure comes out better for the kids in the end!!
School choice can be an issue, not because of elitism or fear of poor people, but simply because if you are different from other families in the community, you will have different needs. Some issues we ran into through attending less "choice" public schools were:
- as I mentioned before, rigid curricula that teach to the tests. Starting in kindergarten, kids sit for a large part of the day doing worksheets. More worksheets to do at home, not well tailored to student levels. Son was bored and unhappy. After three years, we moved to a progressive school where there was no less/ homework, and they bragged about project based learning... son was happier there.
Well, other parents complained at PTA meetings that there was not enough homework! Being at work all day and not being favored with a large income and SAHP, they couldn't enrich their kids' learning. They needed the schools to give their kids education after school. So, everyone started getting more homework! If your children's needs are not like their peers, there is limited capability to accommodate them-- which is reasonable!
- very crowded classrooms, which is not great when the class population is so heterogeneous in needs
- burnt out teachers/a lot of class time spent just dealing with behavior problems in class
- no playgrounds of their own. Kids had to walk three blocks to a public playground and back, which meant that they had less time to run around. One school we went to had no gym or auditorium either. They used the cafeteria when it was not needed for lunch. But that meant time for movement was limited, so they did stretching and yoga at their desks in order to fulfill state mandates for exercise
- no air conditioning. This doesn't sound so bad but some years the kids are just melting in 90+ degree heat for a month. Teachers do what they can with fans, but not much learning happens in those conditions.
- fewer books on the shelves at the libraries
- when resources are low, people squabble more because the school is the only ticket for their kids out of poverty. We had a very toxic PTA for a while, because we had to kill ourselves to raise $15K a year, so people fought about what to spend it on. When we first arrived at the school there were no after school clubs, no book fair, no science fair, not much at all. We made these things happen and I am proud. But if you will not be volunteering or donating much to the school, then you don't want a fixer upper.
I feel that my younger kids have happier and less complicated lives in their suburban school. I wouldn't move back to the city at this point, but that's me. Sounds like you're a city person, and you would thrive on the energy. There is a huge potential for a person like you in the city, since it doesn't look like you are interested in a Disney-like experience of private schools and shopping. I am glad to have had the experience, we did much and saw much, and possibly one day we will look back and see that it had a positive effect on my oldest son as well.