Author Topic: Postpone FI to find myself?  (Read 6972 times)

Epry123

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Postpone FI to find myself?
« on: August 02, 2015, 01:22:22 PM »
Right now I Am 23 years old and am infatuated with the idea of being FI the only problem is that I am kind of a shell of a person I am so dedicated to working I really don't have too many interests besides work which I do a lot of 65-80 hours weekly the high rate of earning is nice but I feel so isolated and incomplete. Kind of at a crossroads here where I can dive further into my career and even a second job and just be FI within single digit years and then take the time to find out what actually makes me happy. Or step down a bit and take the time now so i have sort of motivaton when I am finally FI.

I Am a really indecisive person I wish there was just a manual for happiness

Roots&Wings

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #1 on: August 02, 2015, 02:10:15 PM »
I Am a really indecisive person I wish there was just a manual for happiness

There are plenty of manual's for happiness, just a matter of finding one that works for you :) Have you read any of MMM's recommended one's? e.g. A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy, The Magic of Thinking Big, Beyond Wealth, Nudge (on decision making), etc.

A Guide to the Good Life and Epictetus' Enchiridion (and Discourses) have been the most helpful ones for me.
« Last Edit: August 02, 2015, 02:14:11 PM by step-in-time »

forummm

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #2 on: August 02, 2015, 02:22:32 PM »
You're only 23. You have plenty of time to find yourself. Especially if you can FIRE around 30. Whatever you do, you'll figure it out and be OK.

Epry123

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #3 on: August 02, 2015, 02:27:08 PM »
When I'm not working I just lay around can't really get interested in anything else.

Idk if I'm content or depressed

matchewed

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #4 on: August 02, 2015, 02:32:15 PM »
You should probably just start engaging in life beyond work regardless of FI.

Epry123

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #5 on: August 02, 2015, 02:34:50 PM »
You should probably just start engaging in life beyond work regardless of FI.

I always have the best intentions of trying new things but it doesn't really get me excited

matchewed

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #6 on: August 02, 2015, 02:36:58 PM »
You should probably just start engaging in life beyond work regardless of FI.

I always have the best intentions of trying new things but it doesn't really get me excited

Action generates excitement. Excitement does not generate action.

iknowiyam

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #7 on: August 02, 2015, 05:38:36 PM »
Work is taking too much of your energy. Take it back! Don't let it suck your life away! Cut back the hours so you have energy and motivation to grow as a person. You may not be very happy with RE if you get there and find you don't know yourself.

fb132

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #8 on: August 02, 2015, 06:02:00 PM »
Do you enjoy your job?? If so, that is not really a bad thing, being FI is simply having FU money. But in the meantime, I would highly suggest you find something that you enjoy doing outside of work. Since you are only 23, you have lots of time to find that out.

sol

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #9 on: August 02, 2015, 06:30:40 PM »
My life purpose at age 23 was very different from my life purpose at 38.  Not just in the specifics, but even in broad philosophical outline.

Seeking happiness by finding your life's purpose is an ongoing process.  You will never just one day figure it out.  You have to make it up as you go along.

Sounds to me like right now your life's purpose is working and making money.  I think that's totally fine at 23.  If that's still your purpose at 60, I might have a different opinion.

Sibley

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #10 on: August 03, 2015, 10:23:09 AM »
65-80 hour weeks? Sounds like you're burning out from over work. Cut back. Yes, money is nice, but not if you're miserable, exhausted, or unhealthy as a result.

Dee18

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #11 on: August 03, 2015, 10:45:51 AM »
Think back to when you were young, what did you like to do? Music? Art? Outdoors?  Bike riding?  Baseball?   Do it  in your free time now, at least a bit.

Epry123

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #12 on: August 05, 2015, 06:17:43 PM »
I spent much of my youth in front of a computer playing video games

Dee18

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #13 on: August 05, 2015, 09:05:20 PM »
Oh.  That possibility never occurred to me.  Seems it's time to try some new things.  I know it's hard with the hours you work, but plan ahead for your next day off.  Plan one activity to do alone and one where you will interact with people.  So it could be ride a bike and go to a salsa class.  Or go to a concert and go paddle boarding.  Or build a coffee table.  Just start trying things, that don't involve electronics, and see what you like. 

GorgeousSteak

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #14 on: August 06, 2015, 06:40:50 PM »
Why are you so interested in FI if you have no interests outside of work?

If I went back in time and was in your position, I'd definitely pull back on work and try and acquire more of a "life".  Friends, lovers, other interests, all of that stuff.  Imagining going through ~10 years of life without those things makes me very sad, definitely not worth a few years of FI.  I guess also what I'm trying to say is FI is much more meaningful, desirable, and exciting because i have those things.

arebelspy

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #15 on: November 05, 2015, 02:57:43 AM »
What would you picture an ideal day to be?
We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and are now settled with three kids.
If you want to know more about us, or how we did that, or see lots of pictures, this Business Insider profile tells our story pretty well.
We (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out our Now page to see what we're up to currently.

Eric222

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #16 on: November 05, 2015, 05:47:15 AM »
When I'm not working I just lay around can't really get interested in anything else.

Idk if I'm content or depressed

Are there things that used to interest you that you no longer enjoy?
Have there been changes in your sleeping habits?
Changes in your appetite?
Do you feel guilty/worthless?
Do you have difficulty concentrating?

These are things you might experience if you are depressed.  Feel free to PM me if you'd like to talk about it - I've been there.

ana-stache-ia

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #17 on: November 05, 2015, 08:38:11 AM »
I think you should definitely postpone FI to find yourself. Go travel :)

honeybbq

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #18 on: November 05, 2015, 10:11:11 AM »
Sometimes you have to work or travel or meet people or DO something to understand what it actually IS that you want in life.  If that delays your FI then so be it. Like the adage that sometimes you have to spend money to make money, you might have to spend some money and delay FI to figure out what it is you want in life.

Mother Fussbudget

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #19 on: November 05, 2015, 10:26:12 AM »
You need to read "Your Money Or Your Life: Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence" by Joseph R. Dominguez.  Check it out from your local library.

MrMoogle

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #20 on: November 05, 2015, 10:59:28 AM »
How many years have you been working?

Most people will get burned out working 60 hour weeks after a few years, even if they love what they're doing.  I would try to cut back to 40 if possible. 

Also, if you already have a few years under your belt, and have a high savings rate, a cut in salary (because you're working less) isn't going to have a big impact to your FI date.  Interest and time will get you there.

Jack

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #21 on: November 05, 2015, 11:15:45 AM »
Think back to when you were young, what did you like to do? Music? Art? Outdoors?  Bike riding?  Baseball?   Do it  in your free time now, at least a bit.
I spent much of my youth in front of a computer playing video games
Oh.  That possibility never occurred to me.

I LOL'd.

At any rate, might I suggest something like LARPing? It seems like it'd be pretty close to video gaming, but where you'd still get to interact with people face-to-face. Hosting LAN parties or table-top games (D&D, Magic, etc.) might also be good options.

Jeddy

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #22 on: November 05, 2015, 11:31:20 AM »
I'm going to echo another poster(s) - why is it that you're focus is financial independence?

Most seek FI to be able to cut back and do what they enjoy - those that are lucky enough to be FIRE cut back completely to do what they enjoy. No one gets to FI/FIRE and then decides what they enjoy - they know what they enjoy and want more time for it so they seek FI/FIRE.

If you, as you stated, are infatuated with being FI - ask yourself why.

WHY do you want to be financially free? What do you want that excess money/time/freedom to be used for? When you first heard about becoming FI, WHY did it appeal to you?

Once you know WHY you had that original hunger to be FI, you might find what you like and enjoy.

And if you continue feeling like a shell of yourself, I would cut back the hours and seek help - you could very well be depressed. Work should (in my opinion) be a means to an end - something you do to allow you to live a life that you desire and brings you fulfillment and enjoyment. It shouldn't BE your life - although I'm sure some will disagree
« Last Edit: November 05, 2015, 11:46:59 AM by Jeddy »

catccc

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #23 on: November 05, 2015, 11:37:11 AM »
Seeking happiness by finding your life's purpose is an ongoing process.  You will never just one day figure it out.  You have to make it up as you go along.

Sol, always so wise.  This.  Plus you are always changing, so "finding yourself" is a moving target.  I read about some survey where they asked people at a variety of ages if they think they'll change much in the next 5-10 years.  And most of them said no.  And then they asked if they had changed much in the last 5-10 years.  And most everyone said yes.  Whether you are 25 or 65, chances are "you" is still a dynamic thing.

Cut back on work and enjoy life, moving toward or postponing FI is a decision independent of that, for the most part, IMO.

aschmidt2930

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Re: Postpone FI to find myself?
« Reply #24 on: November 05, 2015, 12:04:54 PM »
Work less, and use that time/energy to try new things.

The hours you listed are absolutely insane.  Your performance and productivity will rise if you cut that down.  Grueling hours can be done in stretches, but not over the long-term.