OMY or FU?

[Lordy]

Hello all,

I feel like I am approaching a crossroads and I would like to get your thoughts on my situation.

For the past ~3 years I have been working a good job, making good money (~150K/year). However, especially over the last year or so, my subjective stress level has gone up a lot and it has started to burden me. I have been on a two week vacation recently and only then did I notice how much my mind and body needed a break (e.g. I had hip-pain, which just disappeared after a week at the beach).

This year is on track for a good result, so the carrot of a bonus (paid over two years) is dangling in front of me.
While some extra money would be great, as I have recently moved and want to do a some renovations (for ~20-30K), I recognize the OMY pattern.
I am on track to hit 1M next year in my 40s, so I see the "diminishing" returns of more money.
On the other hand, this is a job paying very well in economically challenging times.

The upcoming fork in the road has basically two options:
- Keep trucking on, trying to increase the stash (which is already in a good place) but suffering from stress and losing precious time
- Walk away, take a sabbatical and possibly transition into lean FIRE (cost of living covered, but not much headroom)

I am currently 44 yo and I have no dependents.

What would you do in my situation?
I appreciate all replies!

Kind regards,
Lordy

[Dicey]

This is one of my favorite sayings:

"Retiring too early is a mistake that can be recovered from. Too late and there is no recovery."

Call it a sabbatical if you wish, but get the heck off of that particular treadmill.

[bacchi]

I agree. Run away.

Whether you'll need to get another job depends on how much you spend. You wrote that you are "possibly" Lean FIRE. Do you know or are you guessing?

[Lordy]

I agree. Run away.

Whether you'll need to get another job depends on how much you spend. You wrote that you are "possibly" Lean FIRE. Do you know or are you guessing?

Last year, my income from dividends/interest covered a bit over 80% of my expenses. I was probably about 5K short.
So, assuming I would not earn a dime, I could go Lean FIRE. Ideally, I would like to be at 100%+, but I feel confident that I could find some freelance work to earn 10-20K a year fairly easily.

[Askel]

What I'd do (and did)-

Option 3: Take a less stressful job (or maybe one with different, more enjoyable stress) that at least keeps the living expenses covered, or maybe allows you to contribute to the 'stache minimally. 

The nest egg will continue to grow, even if you don't contribute directly to it.   

[Omy]

Guess which one I did lol?

The problem with OMY is that it easily turns into 5MY.

We could have stopped 5 years earlier. I would have had more anxiety about money if we stopped earlier, but I probably would not have needed to go back to work.

Making up $5-$10k is stupidly easy. When we no longer had jobs, we had lots of time to optimize our expenses. We also picked up bonuses for CDs and credit cards. I make $5-10k a year with my real estate referral license (which involves connecting people I know or meet with good realtors I know) - I could make much more if I spent any energy at all on this "business".

In my experience, FU is the way to go.

[NotJen]

RE: hip pain - do you possibly need a new mattress?  I had a similar experience where I went on vacation and slept on an objectively worse bed, however my daily hip pain disappeared.  Stress was not a factor.  I went home and found the one spot on my mattress that was still "good", and slept on it pain-free until I downsized and sold that bed/trashed that mattress.

[Lordy]

RE: hip pain - do you possibly need a new mattress?

I moved recently and I think my waterbed was not properly refilled, so that may have contributed. I fixed that recently.
The hip-pain was the most obvious, but my health generally seemed better with the stress gone.

[reeshau]

I agree. Run away.

Whether you'll need to get another job depends on how much you spend. You wrote that you are "possibly" Lean FIRE. Do you know or are you guessing?

Last year, my income from dividends/interest covered a bit over 80% of my expenses. I was probably about 5K short.
So, assuming I would not earn a dime, I could go Lean FIRE. Ideally, I would like to be at 100%+, but I feel confident that I could find some freelance work to earn 10-20K a year fairly easily.

Living off of dividends alone is an extremely conservative standard for living off your stache.  Stocks do not generally pay the levels of dividends that they used to.  Have your investments also appreciated?  You may well just have to get used to selling small amounts of principal, and you're there already!

[Laura33]

This doesn't seem truly OMY to me.  OMY is when you've already hit your goals and choose to continue to work because reasons.  You're really just asking whether a miserable job is worth sticking it out until you hit your target.  Which all depends.  How long would that take?  If too long, is there an interim date that would work (like, say, getting the first half of the bonus)?  How easy would it be to find a comparable new job to keep you on your current schedule?  What about finding a less-demanding, lower-paying job that covers your expenses waiting for the market to do its magic?  Or a hobby you can monetize? 

And on the flip side, what are your expenses vs your savings?  You mention interest and dividends; how does that compare to the 4% rule?  I'm guessing you are looking at around $40K, given your reference to the $1M.  How tight is that for you?  You're going to have a lot more flexibility to cut your costs if you've built a bunch of slack into your FIRE budget, but we don't have any information to judge where you are on that scale.

Generally speaking, though, life is way too short to stay in a job that is affecting your health (mental or physical).  You clearly have fuck-you money and can live for years -- decades even -- without needing a job.  The next step is to figure out all of your available options and decide whether you'd prefer to suck up the stress for another year or two at high pay, quit now and live lean for the rest of your life, or some version in-between.

[Financial.Velociraptor]

So, you at a minimum have FU money.

Memorize the following formula: FU$ = O; where O = life options.

So my advice is stop thinking of your staying or leaving as a binary problem.  I'd start with negotiating (and negotiate like a real hard ass, you don't care about making a career limiting move).  Can you switch out of management to an individual contributor role?  Maybe team/lead/mentor but no formal supervisory duties?  Can you negotiation 3/5th pay, hourly basis (but full bonus payout in the next year) for going to 30 hours (with 1.5x pay for hours over 30?)  Can you negotiation another 3-4 weeks a year vacation (maybe some unpaid)?  I mean even if you are going to full OMY, ask for enough of a raise to make that year of misery hurt them as much as you...

Other alternatives are find another full time job that is less stressful.  Barista FIRE.  Go back to school for a dream career. 

[FIRE 20/20]

So, you at a minimum have FU money.

Memorize the following formula: FU$ = O; where O = life options.

So my advice is stop thinking of your staying or leaving as a binary problem.  I'd start with negotiating (and negotiate like a real hard ass, you don't care about making a career limiting move).  Can you switch out of management to an individual contributor role?  Maybe team/lead/mentor but no formal supervisory duties?  Can you negotiation 3/5th pay, hourly basis (but full bonus payout in the next year) for going to 30 hours (with 1.5x pay for hours over 30?)  Can you negotiation another 3-4 weeks a year vacation (maybe some unpaid)?  I mean even if you are going to full OMY, ask for enough of a raise to make that year of misery hurt them as much as you...

Other alternatives are find another full time job that is less stressful.  Barista FIRE.  Go back to school for a dream career.

^This.

I would actively look for other options.  For both me and my partner, dropping to part-time was fantastic.  We both took different routes, but both ended up working 32 hours a week instead of the standard 40+.  It felt more like a 50% increase in time off than a 20% reduction in working hours.  If you have a good relationship with your boss and they're reasonable, then it isn't likely to hurt for you to ask to go part-time - they can say no but are unlikely to fire you.  Or, perhaps you might be able to transition to a lower stress role within the same company (that's what I did).  Or you might want to see if there is another job at a different company similar to the one you're in that might be a better fit.  It's rarely a bad idea to apply and go to a few interviews.  Or you could jump right in to freelance work.  If you are confident you could make $10-20k / year pretty easily, then I would definitely do that.  Maybe for a few years you could try to hit the higher side of that to avoid drawing down the 'stache too quickly. 

But no matter what you do I would definitely avoid looking at it as a fork in the road with only option A and option B.  If you're already at 80%+ of the way to FIRE then you have a whole world of options available to you. 

[Freedomin5]

I would start by understanding what changed. You say it's a good job but subjective stress has increased recently. Did something change in your current job to increase your stress level? If so, is it something that can be fixed? Or is it an internal shift in yourself that has led to the current job being stressful?

If you choose to walk away and lean FIRE, do you have your SORR mitigation strategies planned out and sorted? If so, then you have some options. If not, then you still have some work to do before you walk away, and you're not really at OMY yet.

[La Colibri]

Probably I am the last person to take advice from, since I burnout badly but I have been reading a lot on burnout topics.

Similar to @Freedomin5 suggestions, might be a diary to reflect what's stressing you out?
write down
Feelings;   
Situations;   
Why/what happened?   
What Can I do to change it?

e.g. I felt overwhelmed because priorities keep changing.  can I speak to manager and clarify priority or ...
I felt engaging to be client facing.  can I increase this type of work?

Re body pain - a trip to phsiotherapist/massage therapist to advise

best wishes
         

[SweatingInAR]

So, you at a minimum have FU money.

Memorize the following formula: FU$ = O; where O = life options.

So my advice is stop thinking of your staying or leaving as a binary problem.  I'd start with negotiating (and negotiate like a real hard ass, you don't care about making a career limiting move).  Can you switch out of management to an individual contributor role?  Maybe team/lead/mentor but no formal supervisory duties?  Can you negotiation 3/5th pay, hourly basis (but full bonus payout in the next year) for going to 30 hours (with 1.5x pay for hours over 30?)  Can you negotiation another 3-4 weeks a year vacation (maybe some unpaid)?  I mean even if you are going to full OMY, ask for enough of a raise to make that year of misery hurt them as much as you...

Other alternatives are find another full time job that is less stressful.  Barista FIRE.  Go back to school for a dream career.

^This.

I would actively look for other options.  For both me and my partner, dropping to part-time was fantastic.  We both took different routes, but both ended up working 32 hours a week instead of the standard 40+.  It felt more like a 50% increase in time off than a 20% reduction in working hours.  If you have a good relationship with your boss and they're reasonable, then it isn't likely to hurt for you to ask to go part-time - they can say no but are unlikely to fire you.  Or, perhaps you might be able to transition to a lower stress role within the same company (that's what I did).  Or you might want to see if there is another job at a different company similar to the one you're in that might be a better fit.  It's rarely a bad idea to apply and go to a few interviews.  Or you could jump right in to freelance work.  If you are confident you could make $10-20k / year pretty easily, then I would definitely do that.  Maybe for a few years you could try to hit the higher side of that to avoid drawing down the 'stache too quickly. 

But no matter what you do I would definitely avoid looking at it as a fork in the road with only option A and option B.  If you're already at 80%+ of the way to FIRE then you have a whole world of options available to you.

To echo these posts, here is a massive thread of people who have reduced their workload to increase happiness:
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/post-fire/calling-all-downshifters!/

[Lordy]

Thanks for all the input!

To answer to a few points and give a bit more context:
- Part-time: I asked my boss and HR about this, but it was flat out refused. 100% or nothing basically in this company. I have asked recruiters that reached out via LinkedIn and also searched for part-time options similar to the job I have now, but they seem to be pretty much non-existent. It may because I work in a sales environment, where part-time is often seen as lacking commitment.

- Switching roles: I am at the bottom of the ladder (sole contributor). There aren't any roles that interest me (or that I see myself as a good fit for) in this company that I could transfer to.

- Changes: Last year (I believe in January) the company fired a bunch of people. This influenced my stress level (no longer a job I previously considered safe) and workload (my team going from 5 to 4). Since I am in a sales-adjecent role, big number must always go bigger...

Currently, I make about ~€100/hour (~200k for ~2000h, give or take).
For the part-time roles I could fill, the pay is significantly less, probably half. If I look for a "barista" job (mostly to cover health insurance), it would probably be closer to a fourth. The only way to keep a high hourly rate while gaining flexibility (but no health insurance) would be free-lancing.
Unfortunately, 2025 looks to be a rather down year for the economy, so I am considering just waiting out this storm at the current job.

Ideally, my current employer would let me go (as they did with other people last year), handing out a nice severance in the process.
I would be laughing all the way to the bank and would no longer have to make this decision.

With the books now closed, it seems I will not be getting that bonus, so the incentive to stick around for has been somewhat reduced.
If my OTE is severly off track by the summer, it may actually make it much easier to call it quits. Of course I don't hope that happens.

So, yeah, it may not really be a crossroad as there are multiple options, but to me it still fells like it is A or B.

Again, thanks to everybody who has contributed to this thread so far!

Cheers, Lordy