Not quite a case study, but help!

[wishfulsaver]

Hi Mustachians,

I've been a lurker for a long time and have not posted my situation yet.

I am an undergraduate student at a private university with a status of a senior. I used to have better financial aid and scholarships, when I first transferred from community college, but had to go on a break for health reasons. My gpa plummeted during this time so upon my return, I lost a lot of what I received in scholarships, grants, and financial aid. I was readmitted with medical restrictions, so I cannot attend as a full-time student (although it would be better financially) at the moment. The price per class is on the high side, probably $4000/class without any financial aid/grants/scholarships.

Before any suggestions of transferring, I have already looked into this option and it doesn't make sense to me. Most schools require you to take a certain amount of credits at their institution before you graduate - in this case it would be 3 semesters worth of full time classes. I only have about 4-6 classes until I finish. Also, since I transferred from a community college, I may already have capped out what I can transfer into another institution. I would probably have to retake courses if I transferred to the state university that I have already completed at my current university.

I figure that I am accountable for the time, money, and effort I already put in at my current university, whether I finish there or not. And since I am so close to finishing, it makes more sense for me to wrap it up there, although it may be much more expensive.

I live at home, which is about 11-12 miles away from my campus, so I find myself commuting back and forth every day. I really would love to move closer, but am wondering if it would be a smart financial move. Due to my health issues, I am restricted in terms of what I can take on as a job at this time. Is it worth it to take out loans for living expenses? Would there be side gigs I could do to maintain that?

I feel like I am spending so much money on gas to commute back and forth, even though I am not paying rent at this time, but the compromise is the time spent on the road. Then there is the piece about my healthcare and upkeep with that, since I regularly see my doctors, one on a weekly basis, the other monthly.

I am finding it difficult to engage with the on-campus community due to my far commute. What I find hard about biking or doing a combination of biking+public transportation from home is that I don't have a place to put my stuff when I get there (along with so much stuff to carry back and forth), especially because I need to transport a musical instrument.

There are days I have my doctor's appointments right before and after my classes, then I usually come back onto campus for office hours/tutoring. It is 8 miles from my home to my doctor's offices (this is about 40-45 minutes by bike ride, 1 hour on public transportation, and then about another 7 miles from my doctor's offices to my university (about 50 minutes by bike ride, 35 minutes by public transportation). It would take a lot of time to get to and from these places by bike or bike+public transportation.

I feel living closer to campus could solve an issue in terms of time spent getting to and from classes, in addition to being on campus for events and extra cirrculars. The way it's been lately, I've noticed that I will go home since my classes are in the morning and all the other events are in the evening. Also all of the stuff I tend to actually do are closer to my university (so I wouldn't be spending time commuting/taking up gas money).

I wish I could post a breakdown of my monthly expenses, along with my school loans, but another issue I run into is not having access to all my finances. I run into the issue of my mother won't give me all my mail or will open up my personal bank statements and personal credit card statements. When I ask for them, she will say they are around, but not hand them over. Then for my school, she has been my co-signer, but there are times where she has forged my signature to take out the loans in order to pay the tuition, without informing me. She tends to try to micromanage my finances for me, not taking the viewpoint of informing me and discussing it like two adults, but the entire point is that I should do it her way, and if I don't, then well, I'm on my own and she won't help me out anymore. She tends to be all in (micromanage, trying to control) or hands off (it's your life and you'll have to deal with the consequences, etc). Due to my health situation, I have been needing to rely on her for support, though it drives me to want to move out too.

Though with my health situation, it's not realistic for me to work full time and study full time, that would be a load I can't handle. Any advice?

[Zamboni]

You are nearly done.  How many classes can you take at once right now?  2?  If it's 2, then you're done in 3 semesters even if you stay half time.

It sounds like you really want to move out and be on campus or very close to campus.  I think that's what you should do:  find a roommate on campus or very close to campus, then move.  While living at home is nice for the financial savings, there are drawbacks in giving up a degree of independence and control like some of those you have noted.  Have you ever lived on your own, or have you always lived with your Mom?  If your parents do things like open your mail (this is actually against the law) then your privacy as an adult is not being respected.  If you haven't already: explicitly say "Mom, stop opening my mail.  It's against the law."  If she poo poos you and keeps doing it, then get out as fast as you can.  Also, your mom forging your signature for loans is a big red flag.  Again, against the law. 

I think it's time to leave the nest.  And I think that's what you want and need to do.  So do it!

[Goldielocks]

Looks like you have one more semester at $24k, vs 3 semesters at college for a total $18 k.  Not a huge difference, so if you can finish in one more term, staying is a good idea.

Did I read that you are complaining about an 11 mile commute?  Get over it!  That is nothing.

If you have a car, sell it and transit or bike.  School transit service should be good.  Borrow mom's car for dr appts and spend your afternoons at the on campus library, or whatever, when you want to spend evening activities.  Find a friend with a dorm room you can visit.. etc.

Ask for a locker at school.  Pull the medical need card on them if you must.  Ask the ombudsman for help.  Staff must have lockers somewhere.  Maybe at the campus gym?

I would get my mail sent to a PO box, there must be a service near campus.    Stay at home, you may have more help there than you realize, and may get exhausted with cooking, cleaning, home care activities, in addition to your studies.

The real problem is that you will have large loans to pay off when you graduate, and possibly marginal health to put e xtra effort into a job.   What is your plan for next year?  This is absolutely not the time to move out, considering your health.  You do need to manage your mother for a few more months.

[GizmoTX]

Regarding your bank & credit card statements: immediately set up online access to give you the info you need. If your parent is on your account, change this to just you if you can. Change your mailing address to a box at the post office or a place like the UPS Store. Don't announce this, just do it.

4-6 classes (?) takes 2 part time semesters. Can you actually find affordable housing for this amount of time? I suspect you will pay much more than what you're spending on gas to live on campus, unless you can find a roommate. However, time savings could be considerable.

I'd concentrate on graduating as quickly as is feasible while concentrating on good grades, your health, & starting your post degree job search.

[Zamboni]

^PO Box is a really good suggestion!  That would be a good first step.

And there probably are at least some kind of lockers at the gym.  Probably not big enough for all instruments, and lugging those around is a pain.  What do you play?

I wouldn't be so quick to rely on borrowing mom's car, though.  My own mom is a psycho about randomly using stuff like that as a control card.  And it sounds like you are seeking more control over your life, not less.

Carrying a big load of heavy books and other stuff while commuting to and from campus is a big pain.  I get that.  It also sounds like you've never really gotten to enjoy "campus life," and you'd like to experience that.  Campus is a different place in the evening.  I might be in the minority here, but I think nearly everyone should move out of their parents' home for at least one year of college just to have the mind-expanding experience of being a semi-adult.  Find someone who already has a close place who is looking for a roommate.

[Credaholic]

Forget the PO Box, just set your statements to paperless and get them online!

I wouldn't count on the cost of renting a room being paid back by less transportation costs, but with a mom like yours it might be worth the extra expense.

Agreed with others who mentioned you should also be sure you're looking at your job market, especially with any limitations your health may present, and make sure you're being realistic about your upcoming employability and salary possibilities.