Author Topic: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?  (Read 3825 times)

mozar

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New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« on: February 09, 2019, 06:59:11 PM »
My new friend, I would say, has tiers of smiling. A chuckle, a grin, and then the next one up she is beaming. The issue is that in this third tier when she smiles she looks like a completely different person. Like my friend left the room and was replaced by someone else. I have only seen her do it once, which was the last time I saw her.
When she smiled like that I had an expression of complete shock. Then I caught myself and I smiled. She looked a little dismayed.
Last time I talked to her she didn't seem mad or anything, but I'm afraid my embarrassment will lead me to look shocked again. Googling "how not to look surprised" didn't yield anything.

Any advice besides only look at her eyes and take deep breaths? It totally threw me. I'm kind of afraid to ask her to hang out again. I don't want her to think I'm an asshole (I'm a reformed asshole).



marty998

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2019, 07:10:40 PM »
Ok we need pics now hehehe.

ketchup

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2019, 07:25:58 PM »
Just experience it more times so you inoculate yourself. 

I have a coworker that has a very triangular smile when using teeth (like a South Park character, in her words).  It very much caught me off guard the first time I saw it, but now it's just a thing that happens.

My girlfriend has possibly the strangest (and loudest) hiccup noises I've heard from anyone in my life.  That one took a while since it's a fairly infrequent phenomenon, and initially quite startling.

mozar

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2019, 07:31:03 PM »
You'll have to trust me on this one :) @marty998
I can't be like "hey can you beam for me on command so I get used to it?" She's only done it once and we've been hanging out for a couple months AND I have volunteered with her for two years. I don't know. I could try to get her to laugh more but honestly she doesn't find me very funny.

limeandpepper

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #4 on: February 09, 2019, 07:45:00 PM »
Thread title certainly caught my attention. :p 

If you have each other on Facebook you could get used to it by going through her photos and seeing her in various states of expression, and hopefully by the time you meet in person again you'll be somewhat desensitized?

But maybe also don't ignore the elephant in the room - like next time you see her you could mention something about it, explain why you were surprised and make her feel at ease about it. I suspect she is aware of it and perhaps that is why you've only seen her smile like that once, and why she was dismayed at your reaction. It may have been a sign that she was finally getting comfortable enough with you that she beamed in your presence.

mozar

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2019, 08:23:53 PM »
That is a good point. I am an adult and I can use my words. Maybe I could say "hey, remember that time you smiled really big and I looked surprised? Maybe you could smile like that more often so I'm not surprised?" Does that sound nice?

It would be really helpful if she did it in a non emotionally charged moment, so I'm not caught off guard again. I don't want to be swept away in the moment when my faculties aren't 100% and I look over and go whoa!

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Freedom2016

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2019, 08:50:36 AM »
That is a good point. I am an adult and I can use my words. Maybe I could say "hey, remember that time you smiled really big and I looked surprised? Maybe you could smile like that more often so I'm not surprised?" Does that sound nice?

It would be really helpful if she did it in a non emotionally charged moment, so I'm not caught off guard again. I don't want to be swept away in the moment when my faculties aren't 100% and I look over and go whoa!

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OMG no. This is YOUR issue, so deal with yourself; don't bring her into it. Her smile is not something she can change, so treat it like any other immutable physical characteristic a person might have. There's zero value in pointing out someone's unchangeable feature/flaw that displeases you in some way.

To repeat: NO.

Dicey

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2019, 08:55:18 AM »
[Place holder removed.]

Hi @mozar, here's my promised story. Mid-year when I was in fifth grade, a new family moved down the road and their kids were enrolled in our small, private school. IIRC, they were from someplace exotic, like "Ohio". "Rita" had the biggest nose I had ever seen on a person my age. I was shocked by it. Nonetheless, we became friends. Then we became good friends. I remember having dinner at each other's houses, and doing the things kids did in the pre-internet Stone Ages. I realized that her family was living with her grandparents. Apparently it was an effort to tide the family over during hard times. It was never said, but I believe the grandparents were paying for school and doing so because it was only a block or two away from their home. Our friendship continued into Grade Six. Eventually, her dad found a new job and they moved away.

I was really sad to discover they were moving so far away. I looked at my dear friend's face, trying to memorize it before she left. Funny, her nose didn't look big to me at all. All I saw was my friend.
« Last Edit: February 10, 2019, 12:46:26 PM by Dicey »

mozar

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #8 on: February 10, 2019, 10:12:40 AM »
I'm getting conflicting advice...

Mmm_Donuts

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #9 on: February 10, 2019, 10:22:27 AM »
What I would do:

Yes, this is your problem to solve. Now you know this will surprise you, so it should get easier to deal with. If your friend doesn't notice your surprise, no big deal. If she does, and asks you about it, I would be honest and say something lighthearted like "has anyone ever told you you look very different when you smile? It just catches me off guard. I'll get used to it!" Hopefully she will shrug it off and that will be that. The issue here is that you are surprised: the issue is not that she has a weird smile.

mozar

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #10 on: February 10, 2019, 11:03:33 AM »
I'm aware the problem is with me. I don't think she is going to bring it up. I would have to wait until she does it again (if she ever feels that safe around me again) and not act surprised.

soccerluvof4

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #11 on: February 10, 2019, 11:45:12 AM »
When i starting read the first paragraph I thought this was going to be one of those things where the next person writes the next paragraph!


mozar

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #12 on: February 10, 2019, 12:02:59 PM »
I've never seen that in this forum maybe you should start @soccerluvof4 !

soccerluvof4

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #13 on: February 10, 2019, 12:11:43 PM »
I've never seen that in this forum maybe you should start @soccerluvof4 !



haha! Could you imagine where it would go around here! lol

MrThatsDifferent

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #14 on: February 10, 2019, 12:35:53 PM »
Umm, youíre reformed? Someoneís face has a different look and you, an adult, arenít sure if you can hang out with them, or youíre not sure you can control your own face, and you think this is so dire you need the advice of internet strangers?  Sheesh. Do your friend a favor and leave this person alone. If youíre thst judgementsl about someoneís appearance and lack the maturity to manage yourself, youíre doing right by your ďfriendĒ by not polluting their world with your insecurities. Good people donít do that to others. Good people donít run screaming when someone has one different facial expression. Also, maybe seek some counseling for yourself to better understand what is causing you to react so strongly. Clearly the problem is with you, not your friendís face or expression. Fix yourself and the problem is solved.

mozar

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #15 on: February 10, 2019, 01:19:22 PM »
I wish I could just "fix" myself. Alas 15 years of therapy and going on antidepressants hasn't done the trick.

No need to be hyperbolic, I didn't run away screaming. I don't think I should ghost her. I've been ghosted by friends who did something embarrassing and I would have preferred they stuck around and talked about it.
Clearly I'm not good enough of a person to be your friend @MrThatsDifferent , but I think she'll forgive me. People look at me with surprise all the time and I wouldn't tell them to not pollute my life with their insecurities.

mozar

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #16 on: February 10, 2019, 01:30:56 PM »
Sweet story @Dicey

MrThatsDifferent

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #17 on: February 10, 2019, 01:39:15 PM »
I wish I could just "fix" myself. Alas 15 years of therapy and going on antidepressants hasn't done the trick.

No need to be hyperbolic, I didn't run away screaming. I don't think I should ghost her. I've been ghosted by friends who did something embarrassing and I would have preferred they stuck around and talked about it.
Clearly I'm not good enough of a person to be your friend @MrThatsDifferent , but I think she'll forgive me. People look at me with surprise all the time and I wouldn't tell them to not pollute my life with their insecurities.

Letís see how she feels when you tell her the truth and how you asked internet strangers what you should do? If I was her Iíd run away as quickly as possible from you. Youíre not in the right here. No one is being hyperbolic but you. She had one expression, one and you think her face revealed an alien or something. Címon. She deserves better than whatever youíve got going on at the moment. How youíre not so embarrassed by your own actions that you file this under, something Iíll never share with anyone is a mystery. You and Liam Neesom need a support group.

And now, we couldnít be friends. Iíd hate to think what you would feel about my imperfect features and whose advice you need just to look me in the face. Shudder!

sparkytheop

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #18 on: February 10, 2019, 04:09:53 PM »
I'm just trying to figure out if the beaming smile made you want to jump her or jump away from her.  The "asshole" part would be different depending on which direction the smile makes you want to go...

mozar

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #19 on: February 10, 2019, 04:49:37 PM »
Liam Neeson and I don't have much in common being that I'm a black woman. Seems like my comments have made you very upset @MrThatsDifferent. I'm not going to reply to your comments anymore.
My plan is to just apologize and see what happens. She can decide if she doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Thanks for all the comments. You all have helped me think this through.

limeandpepper

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #20 on: February 10, 2019, 04:58:22 PM »
What I would do:

Yes, this is your problem to solve. Now you know this will surprise you, so it should get easier to deal with. If your friend doesn't notice your surprise, no big deal. If she does, and asks you about it, I would be honest and say something lighthearted like "has anyone ever told you you look very different when you smile? It just catches me off guard. I'll get used to it!" Hopefully she will shrug it off and that will be that. The issue here is that you are surprised: the issue is not that she has a weird smile.

I like this wording.

I think the friend has already noticed the surprise as OP said she looked dismayed. She might even have interpreted the surprise as something worse (e.g. repulsion). Hence why I suggested clarifying the situation, as it would be sad if she secretly thought that and was never reassured otherwise.

SKL-HOU

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #21 on: February 11, 2019, 09:49:22 AM »
I am really curious about this smile. I cannot imagine being so shocked at a smile that I make such a big deal. Are you around people who don't smile much? What did you actually do in response that requires any kind of follow up?

slappy

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #22 on: February 11, 2019, 10:55:05 AM »
I am really curious about this smile. I cannot imagine being so shocked at a smile that I make such a big deal. Are you around people who don't smile much? What did you actually do in response that requires any kind of follow up?

Yeah i'm trying to figure this out as well. Are you saying that in two plus years of interacting with her, you've never seen her give a genuine smile? In this situation, was she smiling so dramatically out of genuine happiness/excitement?

Blueberries

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #23 on: February 11, 2019, 11:31:06 AM »
Liam Neeson and I don't have much in common being that I'm a black woman. Seems like my comments have made you very upset @MrThatsDifferent. I'm not going to reply to your comments anymore.
My plan is to just apologize and see what happens. She can decide if she doesn't want to be my friend anymore.
Thanks for all the comments. You all have helped me think this through.

I know you keep getting conflicting advice, but might I suggest you don't even mention it?  If she brings it up, sure, you can apologize, but you could also be reading into her reaction.  I would let it go for now and just work on your reactions in the future.

Personally, I admire your honesty.  You recognize you struggled with this and you're working to correct it.  What more could someone want?

driftwood

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #24 on: February 11, 2019, 11:48:37 AM »
My new friend, I would say, has tiers of smiling. A chuckle, a grin, and then the next one up she is beaming. The issue is that in this third tier when she smiles she looks like a completely different person. Like my friend left the room and was replaced by someone else. I have only seen her do it once, which was the last time I saw her.
When she smiled like that I had an expression of complete shock. Then I caught myself and I smiled. She looked a little dismayed.
Last time I talked to her she didn't seem mad or anything, but I'm afraid my embarrassment will lead me to look shocked again. Googling "how not to look surprised" didn't yield anything.

Any advice besides only look at her eyes and take deep breaths? It totally threw me. I'm kind of afraid to ask her to hang out again. I don't want her to think I'm an asshole (I'm a reformed asshole).

I have to interpret this, based on this post and the ones following it... my guess is that her huge beaming smile is somehow weird or repulsive.  If it was a positive thing it would be really easy to explain away without being an asshole. In fact, your description above makes it sound like it could be so gloriously beautiful that it shocked you. But then it wouldn't be a problem.

If your face looked shocked and she immediately reacted to that I'd guess she's self conscious about her real smile. If not, she'd probably be curious as to what was wrong with YOUR face in that instance. As the observer, I would never bring it up. As her, I'd bring it up with good friends, because that's how I am. "Hey I know my real smile looks crazy but it's real and if it's shocking to you I'm sorry. But at least it's in the open so we can laugh about that and move on".

J Boogie

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #25 on: February 11, 2019, 03:53:47 PM »
Dude, you've seen the smile at this point. You should be good to go now.

Johnez

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #26 on: February 11, 2019, 04:46:34 PM »
Umm, youíre reformed? Someoneís face has a different look and you, an adult, arenít sure if you can hang out with them, or youíre not sure you can control your own face, and you think this is so dire you need the advice of internet strangers?  Sheesh. Do your friend a favor and leave this person alone. If youíre thst judgementsl about someoneís appearance and lack the maturity to manage yourself, youíre doing right by your ďfriendĒ by not polluting their world with your insecurities. Good people donít do that to others. Good people donít run screaming when someone has one different facial expression. Also, maybe seek some counseling for yourself to better understand what is causing you to react so strongly. Clearly the problem is with you, not your friendís face or expression. Fix yourself and the problem is solved.

Mozar asked his question acknowledging how weird it is for HIM to react the way he did, and asked his question in an honest and open way.  There's absolutely no judgment of his friend's face.  We all have our "insecurities," and we all have issues with ourselves that we don't know how to solve.  We don't come with manuals to refer to whenever situations come up, thats why we ask questions.  This "reply" is worse than any reaction that Mozar might have had, at least he's trying to improve.  Perhaps re-read his original question, maybe you've read more into the original post than he wrote.

use2betrix

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #27 on: February 11, 2019, 06:32:40 PM »
Iíve actually noticed peopleís smile changing over the last 5-10 years and I feel like itís a fashion trend of people purposely trying to smile differently. Iíve noticed some people all of a sudden show their top and bottom teeth when they smile (and they never used to).

Iíve also noticed people like pushing out their bottom lip with their tongue when they smile (and you can blatantly see them doing it) and they never used to do it.

I definitely understand that certain people have different physical features that are much beyond their control.

If it were me, Iíd aim to give that friend her level III beaming smile as much as possible because I would hope it means sheís really happy about something.

expatartist

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #28 on: February 11, 2019, 07:10:47 PM »
Iíve actually noticed peopleís smile changing over the last 5-10 years and I feel like itís a fashion trend of people purposely trying to smile differently. Iíve noticed some people all of a sudden show their top and bottom teeth when they smile (and they never used to).

Iíve also noticed people like pushing out their bottom lip with their tongue when they smile (and you can blatantly see them doing it) and they never used to do it.

How bizarre. Sounds like they spend too much time looking in the mirror.


I definitely understand that certain people have different physical features that are much beyond their control.

If it were me, Iíd aim to give that friend her level III beaming smile as much as possible because I would hope it means sheís really happy about something.

+1. Your friend was comfortable enough to let herself go with you, hopefully she'll be able to in the future. I would say nothing, unless she brings it up some time. Women are constantly critiqued on our appearance by ourselves and others, no need to add to it.

11ducks

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #29 on: February 12, 2019, 05:08:25 AM »
If it happens again, say Ďsorry for staring, when you smile like that you remind me of my sister/ mother/some random celebrityí. Problem solved!

Apple_Tango

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #30 on: February 12, 2019, 07:56:14 AM »
I am a normal looking person. But when I smile I look way better. Everyone always says I have a nice smile. I specifically recall a waitress, I had never met her before, who I smiled at when she took my order. This must have been 20 years ago. She said ďyou should smile more often, it totally changes your faceĒ. It did not come across as a complement lol. I have been told by other people that I look sad when I donít smile, like something is wrong.

Just keep the comments to yourself lol. I canít change my face, I canít change my smile. Iím not sensitive about it in any way any more. But if I was lacking any sort of confidence, a comment like that would be really tough to hear.

Just try to make her laugh....tell her a joke of the day. HA

dcozad999

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #31 on: February 12, 2019, 08:19:06 AM »
Dude, you've seen the smile at this point. You should be good to go now.

Pretty much this.

I'd say next time you see her just have a conversation about something else as if nothing happened.  Make her feel at ease.

BlueHouse

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #32 on: February 12, 2019, 09:14:24 AM »
I am really curious about this smile. I cannot imagine being so shocked at a smile that I make such a big deal. Are you around people who don't smile much? What did you actually do in response that requires any kind of follow up?

I couldn't help but picture the movie Alien where the alien bares its teeth, then another set of chompers comes out.  Is it anything like that? 

Is the face contortion pleasant or unpleasant?  If it really is such a huge difference and you are unable to control your reaction, I would just laugh about it and say "wow, your exuberance is contagious.  I love how you show your emotion!"

But if you fell off your chair or screamed, then you need to work on you some more.

SKL-HOU

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #33 on: February 12, 2019, 09:43:46 AM »
I am really curious about this smile. I cannot imagine being so shocked at a smile that I make such a big deal. Are you around people who don't smile much? What did you actually do in response that requires any kind of follow up?

I couldn't help but picture the movie Alien where the alien bares its teeth, then another set of chompers comes out.  Is it anything like that? 

Is the face contortion pleasant or unpleasant?  If it really is such a huge difference and you are unable to control your reaction, I would just laugh about it and say "wow, your exuberance is contagious.  I love how you show your emotion!"

But if you fell off your chair or screamed, then you need to work on you some more.

This made me laugh out loud! Now that is all I can imagine!

wenchsenior

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #34 on: February 12, 2019, 10:28:20 AM »
I am a normal looking person. But when I smile I look way better. Everyone always says I have a nice smile. I specifically recall a waitress, I had never met her before, who I smiled at when she took my order. This must have been 20 years ago. She said ďyou should smile more often, it totally changes your faceĒ. It did not come across as a complement lol. I have been told by other people that I look sad when I donít smile, like something is wrong.

Just keep the comments to yourself lol. I canít change my face, I canít change my smile. Iím not sensitive about it in any way any more. But if I was lacking any sort of confidence, a comment like that would be really tough to hear.

Just try to make her laugh....tell her a joke of the day. HA

LOL. This is me, as well.  I have big time 'resting bitch face,' and as I've gotten older and my face has 'fallen' a bit, it's gotten even worse. But I have repeatedly had experiences like you relate, where people respond ASTOUNDLY to me when I'm smiling, animated, and engaged...it's like I've been hit with a charisma charm that's completely out of my control. The difference in how people respond to me is so notable that I have occasionally wondered if I was being pranked in some way.  But I have to admit that when I've seen live candid footage/or pictures of myself when I'm doing a lot of genuine smiling, even I am pretty shocked at how different/lively/cute/young/etc I look.  It might seem weird to not recognize that about yourself, but I've never been highly social (thus spend much time in resting bitch face) and also have never encouraged candid photos or video, nor (of course) do I normally smile at my own reflection. So I see that expression in myself incredibly rarely and find it pretty weird.  Like, THAT'S NOT ME, IT'S A MUCH MORE APPEALING BODY SNATCHER!

The OP should just try to get used to their friend's expressions, IMO.  Commenting on it can bring up extremely mixed emotions in the recipient, if they are anything like me.

mozar

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #35 on: February 14, 2019, 02:39:17 PM »
Quote
I couldn't help but picture the movie Alien where the alien bares its teeth, then another set of chompers comes out.  Is it anything like that? 

Gosh, no, it's nothing like that. It's like having a conversation with Lupita Nyong'o and when she smiles she looks like Constance Wu. It's just surprising. I didn't scream or fall out of my chair. Here is a gif that is similar to my reaction https://tenor.com/view/dog-cachorro-surprise-omg-wait-gif-7809484

The consensus seems to be to not bring it up again. I can do that.

pk_aeryn

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #36 on: February 14, 2019, 11:17:36 PM »
OP, do you have maybe mild prosopagnosia?  Iím wondering because to me, when Lupita smiles, she looks like Lupita smiling to me, Iíve never thought she looked like a different person.

If your surprise at friendís smile ever comes up again, this could be a good explanation to her about how itís actually about you, not her.  (Of course only if itís true, Iím not suggesting lying to her if this doesnít fit you)

BlueHouse

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #37 on: February 15, 2019, 09:10:00 AM »
Quote
I couldn't help but picture the movie Alien where the alien bares its teeth, then another set of chompers comes out.  Is it anything like that? 

Gosh, no, it's nothing like that. It's like having a conversation with Lupita Nyong'o and when she smiles she looks like Constance Wu. It's just surprising. I didn't scream or fall out of my chair. Here is a gif that is similar to my reaction https://tenor.com/view/dog-cachorro-surprise-omg-wait-gif-7809484

The consensus seems to be to not bring it up again. I can do that.

I love that dog gif. 

hmmm. If you told me I look like a movie star when I smile, I'd take that as a compliment.  Even if I was already a movie star like Lupita.
I'm seriously confused now though.  Does she look "lighter" when she smiles?  Both of the women you mentioned have radiant smiles.  So when she doesn't smile, does she look like Lupita not smiling?  Or does she look like Lupita smiling even when she's not smiling?

I think pk_aeryn may have a point. 

AnnaGrowsAMustache

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #38 on: February 15, 2019, 03:36:09 PM »
I think this may be the weirdest thread I have encountered on the net. All the net. Over all the years.

mozar

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #39 on: February 15, 2019, 05:33:32 PM »
She looks like Lupita not smiling when she is not smiling (she doesn't look like Lupita so bear with me). When she beams she looks like a whole different person , her skin color doesn't change though.
@AnnaGrowsAMustache : you're welcome
 

FI-King_Awesome

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #40 on: February 15, 2019, 09:09:16 PM »
Next time this happens, yell. “WHO ARE YOU?!?!!?” at the top of your lungs.

Should sort things out.

DeltaBond

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #41 on: February 16, 2019, 06:09:30 AM »
My husband is half Asian, half Caucasian.... when he smiles, he looks like a happy redneck.  When he's annoyed he looks like the scariest Asian in the world, ready to take you down a peg or two.  I like both looks, to be honest.  Maybe you just don't like this person's looks, most people DO look different when they smile.  Or, maybe she's the devil.

BlueHouse

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #42 on: February 16, 2019, 02:13:54 PM »

 Them: "Hey @BlueHouse you look just like movie star Steve Buscemi when you smile."  You: " You meant George Clooney right? RIGHT?!" ;-).

Cannot stop laughing at this.  I'm going to check myself out in the mirror right now, just to make sure.

meghan88

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #43 on: February 17, 2019, 09:26:21 AM »
If you're embarrassed by the smile, maybe keep at it and look at this as an opportunity to grow?

I have a few friends who can turn heads for all the wrong reasons when out in public.  Yet, they have wonderful redeeming qualities and hearts of gold.  30 years ago I might have been mortified by their looks, voices or mannerisms.  Yet today, I see my own former mortified self as a greater cause for embarrassment.

Please try to get used to it.  Remember that no one is perfect.

mozar

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #44 on: February 19, 2019, 11:23:16 AM »
Thanks @DeltaBond that's basically what's going on. I look forward to getting to know her better and enjoying both looks.

Marty50

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Re: New friend has unusual smile. How do I get over myself?
« Reply #45 on: February 19, 2019, 03:45:33 PM »
I have an unusual full smile due to damage to my facial nerve from a benign brain tumor. Has caused me much unhappiness over the years but I have grown to accept it. I have seen all sorts of looks and agree with Delta's advice - this is a great opportunity for you. Also, I would never want anybody to apologize for the prior look of surprise. I would much prefer to move on  with the friendship.