I'm sure you can make an awesome, wedding that people will remember for the rest of their lives for under $5,000 all said and done.
Re: wedding, Absolutely! My wife and I paid $5000 total for our wedding (including the dress and tux rentals).
Some cost saving tips:
- Discount dress shopping
- Choose a color and rough style of bridesmaid dress. Leave it up to them to find/buy it. (we chose black and not strapless since most women already have one)
- Friday night 7pm wedding, 7:30pm reception (a hard time slot for most wedding venues, so often available at reduced cost)
- Signature cocktail (free) + no open bar (allows you to source your own alcohol and avoid venue markup)
- Hors d'oeuvre's only (light food is cheaper than full course dinners)
- Adults only (the time slot kind of necessitates this, but also reduces the total attendance)
- Immediate family and best friends only (again, reduces the total attendance)
- Made our own decorations for the venue
- Networked for flowers on the cheap
- Ipod DJ
That was 5 years ago, and at least once a year since, someone mentions what a great, memorable wedding it was, and how different and fun. (and not just our parents :-)
I wouldn't sweat it. And while we're on the subject...YMMV, but if you haven't proposed already, try giving her something sentimental as a placeholder for the ring, then let her pick it out with a price point you can both live with. No need to drop 3mo salary and dig that hole as well.