Author Topic: Need abuse  (Read 1460 times)

Montecarlo

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Need abuse
« on: July 17, 2019, 04:40:48 PM »
Been a rough July so far.  Iíve been spending waaay too much money.  Iíve even bought lunch at work, instead of bringing leftovers, on MULTIPLE occasions.  Annualized Iím spending at a 33K rate, and with the 4% rule my stash only produces 14K.

I still have north of a 66% savings rate, but I want to get it to 80%.  Nothing stopping me except weakness.

Please abuse me so I will stop spending money.

G-dog

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Re: Need abuse
« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2019, 05:33:12 PM »
I canít do better than this:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5BRc5zV4YKU

Rosy

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Re: Need abuse
« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2019, 05:55:49 PM »
It doesn't work that way - at least not for me:)

You are experiencing feelings of stash fatigue - a disorder unique to MMMland.
The only cure I've found so far is to take a break for a month - allow myself a (gasp) limited time of financial havoc - no scrimping, no saving. Frivolous overspending is popping the cork.
Then by the end of the month this ruinous behaviour has induced enough feelings of guilt and fear of dropping the ball for my sweet future self, that I'm happy to be back on the savings treadmill for another six months without complaint or missing a beat.
YMMV

PS - modified to add:
... you may simply try to do more than humanly possible and still live a happy life - it isn't all about saving, you need balance. If you make yourself miserable by going for 66% when really you can only do 56% then you have to re-adjust your finances and accept what is - for the moment.
Re-group and re-examine and eventually you'll find alternative ways to bring in a bit extra without killing yourself.

There are always new opportunities for optimization or suddenly come across a way to bring in a little extra - don't close yourself off and obsess - do what you can and know that you'll be just fine as long as you don't self-sabotage :)

That is no way to live!, if I die tomorrow I would like to know that I did the best I could - that is all anyone can do. That does not mean that I will push myself to the limit every month - it means I will use common sense, save as much as possible but remember to live a little along the way!
« Last Edit: July 18, 2019, 10:51:39 AM by Rosy »

Budgie

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Re: Need abuse
« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2019, 06:56:46 PM »
I canít do better than this:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5BRc5zV4YKU

That's a great one.

Montecarlo, when I notice my own expenses creeping up, what works best is for me to look at what I *have* accomplished--the debts paid off, the super low spending on gasoline, etc., and seeing my successes strengthens my resolve and encourages me that I am making progress.

Or you could picture yourself old and infirm, on the brink of living in a tent and unable to earn even one more dollar, kicking yourself for buying lunch and a lame 66% savings rate when leftovers and an 80% rate would have provided you with a nice condo somewhere where it's sunny and 74 degrees every day.

A Fella from Stella

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Re: Need abuse
« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2019, 07:34:45 PM »
If you want abuse, then you have to save 80%. Otherwise, I'll abuse someone else!

mistymoney

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Re: Need abuse
« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2019, 06:57:20 AM »
Been a rough July so far.  Iíve been spending waaay too much money.  Iíve even bought lunch at work, instead of bringing leftovers, on MULTIPLE occasions.  Annualized Iím spending at a 33K rate, and with the 4% rule my stash only produces 14K.

I still have north of a 66% savings rate, but I want to get it to 80%.  Nothing stopping me except weakness.

Please abuse me so I will stop spending money.

don't get too ocd about it all....

honestly! This post sounded to me like an anorexic talking about food.

If you're not comfortable at 33k, maybe bump your budget up to 35k, you can always go back.

Do you have a line item for fun/misc/dowhateveryouwant money? Or restaurants?

put a few more dollars/month into those kinds of categories, and then see how that fits. Can always cut back again if you want.

One of the things that you also need to be doing is seeing how your budget works, and tweaking it if needed.

Moustachienne

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Re: Need abuse
« Reply #6 on: July 18, 2019, 07:55:24 AM »
Haha! Sounds like you're abusing yourself enough.  But it also sounds like you've gotten off track and really want to get back on.  Time to reconsider and then recommit to your previous money habits.  Reconsider also means making sure that you haven't been living too frugally, leading to the need for an out of control spending outbreak.  For example, build in planned "treats". If you've been happy with your general spending, get back to the habits, routines and decisions that support those good choices and avoid those that weaken your resolve.

Does this all sound familiar? Yes, it is exactly the same way to eat well, move well, learn well, love well, and just generally live a healthy and happy life.  Build healthy habits, forgive yourself when you waver, and get back right on the horse.  Facepunch yourself once - and then move on.

Good luck!

Omy

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Re: Need abuse
« Reply #7 on: July 18, 2019, 08:26:23 AM »
I'm very frugal - my husband is slightly less frugal, but definitely not a spendypants. He is not a fan of packing his lunch or eating leftovers and eats out daily to escape work for an hour. At first I thought this was crazy, but I also realized that getting out was important to his mental and physical health and "only" changed our savings rate by 2 percent. While that might seem like a lot of money, burning out or having a heart attack at his desk would cost a lot more. And we are fat-FIREing in a couple of weeks despite all of the lunches out.

It's ok to be imperfect at saving. Optimize where it makes sense and give yourself permission to enjoy your life along the way.


Lady Stash

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Re: Need abuse
« Reply #8 on: July 18, 2019, 01:54:26 PM »
Using nothing but cash for a while works for me when I want to reset my spending or be more mindful about it. 

Every couple weeks I'll pull out some set amount of cash & split it into categories.  It becomes kind of a game to see how much cash I can keep.

YMMV

Montecarlo

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Re: Need abuse
« Reply #9 on: July 18, 2019, 04:25:48 PM »
I'm very frugal - my husband is slightly less frugal, but definitely not a spendypants. He is not a fan of packing his lunch or eating leftovers and eats out daily to escape work for an hour. At first I thought this was crazy, but I also realized that getting out was important to his mental and physical health and "only" changed our savings rate by 2 percent. While that might seem like a lot of money, burning out or having a heart attack at his desk would cost a lot more. And we are fat-FIREing in a couple of weeks despite all of the lunches out.

It's ok to be imperfect at saving. Optimize where it makes sense and give yourself permission to enjoy your life along the way.

Ha - when I donít pack a lunch, I buy something to go and eat it back at my desk!  Lose-lose!

Montecarlo

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Re: Need abuse
« Reply #10 on: July 18, 2019, 04:26:35 PM »
Thanks all appreciate the face punches and the atta boyís.  Iím good, just was frustrated with my lack of discipline.