Author Topic: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items  (Read 1540 times)

martyconlonontherun

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Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« on: September 10, 2017, 06:46:50 PM »
Thought it would be interesting to start a category on things that are borderline and get other's people opinions.

One thing I always thought that was cheap versus mustachian was a Friday Wedding. It is cheaper for the couple but that is due to great costs of other guests (having to take PTO, etc). To me that is just trying to get what you want but making others "pay" for it.

What are others things that you think are more cheap than mustachian.

Aimza

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #1 on: September 12, 2017, 06:54:13 AM »
Not owning a car, but bumming rides off of everyone else.

marielle

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #2 on: September 12, 2017, 07:05:57 AM »
I thought Friday weddings were generally in the evening? I'm going to one that starts at 5:30pm next month. It may be a little early for some people though so I can see where it can come off as "cheap".

jo552006

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #3 on: September 12, 2017, 08:33:03 AM »
I don't really see the issue with Friday weddings.  I'm not going to call it mustachian and say we all should shoot for them, but most of the ones I've been to were younger couples just starting out, and likely paid most if not all the costs themselves.  I can take 1/2 day off work (if even needed) to help them out.

PoutineLover

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #4 on: September 12, 2017, 08:38:22 AM »
I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing to have the wedding on a Friday to save money, especially if it means they can then spend more on the food, entertainment, etc. and have a party they are thrilled with. I just spent almost 200 on a flight and 150 on a gift to attend my friend's wedding. I took vacation time too, but it was also a trip for me that coincided with an occasion I wanted to be there for. I didn't even think of the cost really, because I just wanted to be there with her that day. If you only invite people who care about you, they shouldn't mind contributing some PTO or travel money to make it out on your special day. And if you are really mustachian, you won't mind spending money you can afford on experiences that you value.

trollwithamustache

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #5 on: September 12, 2017, 08:46:49 AM »
Back in the day we rolled with  Friday nuptials simply to get the venue. The weekend dates all fill up fast.  If I recall correctly the number of attendees was a far bigger dial for savings than Friday vs Saturday vs say, *gasp* Monday.

startbyservingothers

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #6 on: September 12, 2017, 09:18:05 AM »
Thought it would be interesting to start a category on things that are borderline and get other's people opinions.

One thing I always thought that was cheap versus mustachian was a Friday Wedding. It is cheaper for the couple but that is due to great costs of other guests (having to take PTO, etc). To me that is just trying to get what you want but making others "pay" for it.

What are others things that you think are more cheap than mustachian.

Then folks that choose destination weddings must really be be awful?  (Or maybe not because at least, they have a reason other than money for their choice...)

I didn't even know a Friday wedding was an option.  If I had to do over again, I'd choose a destination wedding.  (Beach Resort)  Weddings are typically for the Bride.  In this case the wedding was for the Brides family.  We are both introverts, so standing in front of 50+ people was a dreadful experience for us both.  Neither of us knew most of the people there.  (Friends of her parents, etc.)  Whatever you do, make it your own.  Someone is paying for it.  Make sure it's exactly what you want!  (Spouse wanted to use a pretty song from the Twilight movie instead of "Here comes the bride."  She chickened out because it wasn't "traditional" enough.

If I come up with a response to OP's question, I'll post a new comment.  Perhaps I need to be less cheap to have an answer....   Not ordering at a restaurant?  Perfectly fine.  Using a Groupon?  Of course!  Outdoor wedding in South Dakota on Wednesday January 11th?  Best (horribly bad) Idea Ever!
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rothwem

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #7 on: September 12, 2017, 09:26:37 AM »
I agree with the OP, Friday weddings are tasteless and inconsiderate.  I've heard people say that "the people that really want to be there will be there anyways", but then isn't that putting the people you want to be there in the tough spot? 

iowajes

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #8 on: September 12, 2017, 09:28:20 AM »
I had a Friday wedding. It was not any cheaper at all.

I chose that date because there were no other options.
The week before was Christmas, the week before that was my graduation. The week after I started a new job.  Saturday was new years day and I didn't want a bunch of hung over guests.

Airfare was high and a lot of my extended family who lived in New England couldn't bring the whole family. The ones who came were happy to be somewhere with sunshine when it was so cold back at home.  A lot of Ohio friends who hadn't planned to come came down to Texas last minute because their weather was so bad that week they wanted to get away.  (It was not a destination wedding. I lived in Texas. My husband was stationed in Ohio. My extended family is all over the country.)

Most people who were local were thrilled to have their New Years Eve drinking free.  It was a great party, but in no way mustachian. I didn't do most of the planning though. I bowed out when the costs were giving me heart attacks. But it wasn't my money.

Noodle

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #9 on: September 12, 2017, 09:37:00 AM »
I think the wedding thing depends a lot on the circumstances. Some weddings (fewer than there used to be, but some) are mostly local guests, so why not (especially since in smaller towns there are often a limited number of appropriate wedding venues which book up fast in the "wedding season.")  For a Friday evening wedding in a big city, a lot of guests might fly in that day, the same as they would have to do for a morning or early afternoon Saturday wedding. And you would actually get to have the choice of a weekend day at home or staying on in a cool destination to do some touring on Saturday.

martyconlonontherun

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #10 on: September 12, 2017, 10:30:20 AM »
For both weddings on my end involved teachers who had the day off already and were catholic weddings in the afternoon. The first was friends who don't have a ton of money. The second was my wife's friend who wanted it at a really nice Chicago venue. Both were chosen to save money and it was convenient for them. I couldn't take off work for full day so I went out the night before with the groom since it was his last hoorah, slept 4 hours, crammed in 3 hours of work and drove straight to the wedding.

I'm mixed on not ordering at a restaurant. It really depends on the situation but it sucks having to chose between not hanging out with friends or paying for a 50 dinner when they are in town and set up a friends dinner.

Laura33

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #11 on: September 12, 2017, 11:29:00 AM »
IMO the difference between "cheap" and "Mustachian" is when you knowingly save at someone else's expense.  I don't even count things like weddings, because whether you go or not is optional (although if you choose something that creates a hardship for the folks who really have to be there, like your mom, then you're just a doink). 

I'm thinking more like going out to dinner, using a 50% off coupon, and then tipping off the 50% price instead of the full price.  Or regifting something because you had it in your closet, without any consideration of whether it's actually something the other person would really enjoy or appreciate.

Or cheating, e.g., buying a TV and returning it after the Superbowl, or buying a dress and returning it the day after prom.
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RidetheRain

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #12 on: September 12, 2017, 11:58:24 AM »
My "friend" has what she calls a revolving closet. She buys stuff on a rotation and returns on the same rotation. You can tell it's cheap because she rotates stores too so they don't catch on.

I think cheap is when you realize you're being a crappy person like she is. Or you regret the cheap choice later because it was ultimately a poor choice like when I bought some work pants from Walmart and they basically immediately fell apart. I stitched them up a few times before I realized that I wasn't being frugal by patching them up, I was being cheap for not buying a proper pair that wouldn't require patching and hemming every few weeks.
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ketchup

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #13 on: September 12, 2017, 12:10:38 PM »
IMO the difference between "cheap" and "Mustachian" is when you knowingly save at someone else's expense. 
I think this is a good differentiation.

Quote
I'm thinking more like going out to dinner, using a 50% off coupon, and then tipping off the 50% price instead of the full price.
This is a giant pet peeve of mine and drives me crazy.  It's notably worse than your other examples, since you're not being shitty overhead for Costco or Walmart or wherever, you're screwing over an individual.  I tend to slightly overtip as a default when we go out regardless, as I never buy appetizers, drinks, or desserts or anything else that "most people" get that inflates the bill.

iowajes

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #14 on: September 12, 2017, 12:17:47 PM »
IMO the difference between "cheap" and "Mustachian" is when you knowingly save at someone else's expense.  I don't even count things like weddings, because whether you go or not is optional (although if you choose something that creates a hardship for the folks who really have to be there, like your mom, then you're just a doink). 

I'm thinking more like going out to dinner, using a 50% off coupon, and then tipping off the 50% price instead of the full price.  Or regifting something because you had it in your closet, without any consideration of whether it's actually something the other person would really enjoy or appreciate.

Or cheating, e.g., buying a TV and returning it after the Superbowl, or buying a dress and returning it the day after prom.

A lot of people also define things as mustachian that I define as mooching off friends.

Like always going to someone else's house to watch a game and eat their snacks without contributing. (Sure, let them pay for cable, but bring some drinks)
Or being attached to someone else's Amazon prime so you don't have to pay and not offering to split the fee (different if they turn you down)
Or living with your parents until you are 30 so you can have a 90% savings rate, but then revealing you don't buy groceries, pay utilities or rent to your parents- preventing THEM from being able to retire in a reasonable time frame so that you can.

A440

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #15 on: September 12, 2017, 01:42:04 PM »
We had a Tuesday wedding after a Monday holiday, because almost everyone had to travel a 1800+ miles anyway.  Maybe that was cheap, as I got married close to my parents' house instead of close to where our extended families live, but most people were going to have to make a significant trip no matter where we held it, because our families are very spread out.  I don't think anything was particularly cheaper because of the wedding being on Tuesday.  It may have been easier to get the site and the photographer, etc.

ormaybemidgets

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #16 on: September 12, 2017, 01:48:38 PM »
I don't really see the issue with Friday weddings.  I'm not going to call it mustachian and say we all should shoot for them, but most of the ones I've been to were younger couples just starting out, and likely paid most if not all the costs themselves.  I can take 1/2 day off work (if even needed) to help them out.
This is an interesting perspective, but many of the people attending the weddings of "younger couples just starting out" are... younger people just starting out. It's hard for these attendees to take one of their few days off to attend a wedding so that their friends could save some money.

I agree with the OP, Friday weddings are tasteless and inconsiderate.  I've heard people say that "the people that really want to be there will be there anyways", but then isn't that putting the people you want to be there in the tough spot?
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RidetheRain

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #17 on: September 12, 2017, 02:44:26 PM »
As a young person just starting out. Friday weddings do put a lot of pressure on me to attend. Since I attended school in a small town rather than a big city, everyone moved. This means we are all over several states and cities and (believe it or not) remain friends. I've had to turn down invitations because I couldn't get time off work. I had four friends get married this past June (why is it always June...) and all of them were on Fridays. I literally cannot take all that time off work. I went to the one I was a bridesmaid in and I went to the one that was in the same city.

Even with a good job, I don't get that much vacation time and as the "newbie" I'm often expected to take the crappy jobs that require staying late or working a weekend here or there. Leaving Friday after Friday is unmanageable. If you are older you probably aren't going to that many weddings for one and probably aren't going to have as much trouble taking time off.

That said, I don't blame my friends for looking for a good price. Weddings are disgustingly expensive and I completely understand the urge to get a deal. All said I plan to accept their regrets as gracefully and understandingly as they accepted mine. 
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jo552006

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #18 on: September 20, 2017, 07:44:34 AM »
I don't really see the issue with Friday weddings.  I'm not going to call it mustachian and say we all should shoot for them, but most of the ones I've been to were younger couples just starting out, and likely paid most if not all the costs themselves.  I can take 1/2 day off work (if even needed) to help them out.
This is an interesting perspective, but many of the people attending the weddings of "younger couples just starting out" are... younger people just starting out. It's hard for these attendees to take one of their few days off to attend a wedding so that their friends could save some money.
You're right, encouraging people (often young and starting out) to dramatically inflate the amount of money they spend on one of the biggest expenses in their life so that other people aren't inconvenienced to come to a completely optional event is Mustachian.

Spending in line with your own values, limiting guests (often a consideration on Friday weddings), getting married where you want, and when you want, and limiting costs overall... Tasteless and inconsiderate.  Did I click on Reddit instead of MMM?

I DO get the gripe, I've heard it from my family lots of times.  I still say, if you're that bothered, don't go... in fact the couple is likely counting on that.  For those of you who really *should* be there, and want to be there, but honestly cannot be: I suspect the couple that chose a Friday wedding will understand.

Now tipping on a discounted bill...truly cheap.
« Last Edit: September 20, 2017, 07:57:30 AM by jo552006 »

ormaybemidgets

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #19 on: September 20, 2017, 08:44:10 AM »
I don't really see the issue with Friday weddings.  I'm not going to call it mustachian and say we all should shoot for them, but most of the ones I've been to were younger couples just starting out, and likely paid most if not all the costs themselves.  I can take 1/2 day off work (if even needed) to help them out.
This is an interesting perspective, but many of the people attending the weddings of "younger couples just starting out" are... younger people just starting out. It's hard for these attendees to take one of their few days off to attend a wedding so that their friends could save some money.
You're right, encouraging people (often young and starting out) to dramatically inflate the amount of money they spend on one of the biggest expenses in their life so that other people aren't inconvenienced to come to a completely optional event is Mustachian.

Spending in line with your own values, limiting guests (often a consideration on Friday weddings), getting married where you want, and when you want, and limiting costs overall... Tasteless and inconsiderate.  Did I click on Reddit instead of MMM?

I DO get the gripe, I've heard it from my family lots of times.  I still say, if you're that bothered, don't go... in fact the couple is likely counting on that.  For those of you who really *should* be there, and want to be there, but honestly cannot be: I suspect the couple that chose a Friday wedding will understand.

Now tipping on a discounted bill...truly cheap.

I did not say any of those things. If this couple is being Mustachian, and not cheap, then why are they inviting people to a wedding that they are "likely counting on" guests not attending? For gifts?

jo552006

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #20 on: September 20, 2017, 09:25:52 AM »
I don't really see the issue with Friday weddings.  I'm not going to call it mustachian and say we all should shoot for them, but most of the ones I've been to were younger couples just starting out, and likely paid most if not all the costs themselves.  I can take 1/2 day off work (if even needed) to help them out.
This is an interesting perspective, but many of the people attending the weddings of "younger couples just starting out" are... younger people just starting out. It's hard for these attendees to take one of their few days off to attend a wedding so that their friends could save some money.
You're right, encouraging people (often young and starting out) to dramatically inflate the amount of money they spend on one of the biggest expenses in their life so that other people aren't inconvenienced to come to a completely optional event is Mustachian.

Spending in line with your own values, limiting guests (often a consideration on Friday weddings), getting married where you want, and when you want, and limiting costs overall... Tasteless and inconsiderate.  Did I click on Reddit instead of MMM?

I DO get the gripe, I've heard it from my family lots of times.  I still say, if you're that bothered, don't go... in fact the couple is likely counting on that.  For those of you who really *should* be there, and want to be there, but honestly cannot be: I suspect the couple that chose a Friday wedding will understand.

Now tipping on a discounted bill...truly cheap.

I did not say any of those things. If this couple is being Mustachian, and not cheap, then why are they inviting people to a wedding that they are "likely counting on" guests not attending? For gifts?

You are right you did not say what I typed, I should have not quoted you, and just made a general statement.  I just find the "tasteless and inconsiderate" mentality confusing considering the site we are on.

I think a lot of people expect to get an invite and get upset if they don't.  If a couple is truly inviting people for gifts then they would be cheap.

BobTheBuilder

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #21 on: September 20, 2017, 09:40:03 AM »
Well, please don't face punch me, but I think having "too small" a car makes for being cheap under some circumstances too.

I am not talking about a Sedan vs a SUV, but micro cars. I carpool with a co-worker, and we are more often 3 than 2 fully grown adults on our 40 miles to this research lab we work at. I drive a Hyundai i30 from 2008, which I consider mustachian enough, and fits 4 adults with dignity. He has a Toyota Yaris, bought exclusively for getting to work, and it is not possible to assort one's body properly in there. I dread the days it's his turn to drive, although we both profit.

Just a minor thing, but you can overdo it. If you need a car, buy one that fits real people! (No, I am not fat :-) )

marielle

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #22 on: September 20, 2017, 09:51:19 AM »
Well, please don't face punch me, but I think having "too small" a car makes for being cheap under some circumstances too.

I am not talking about a Sedan vs a SUV, but micro cars. I carpool with a co-worker, and we are more often 3 than 2 fully grown adults on our 40 miles to this research lab we work at. I drive a Hyundai i30 from 2008, which I consider mustachian enough, and fits 4 adults with dignity. He has a Toyota Yaris, bought exclusively for getting to work, and it is not possible to assort one's body properly in there. I dread the days it's his turn to drive, although we both profit.

Just a minor thing, but you can overdo it. If you need a car, buy one that fits real people! (No, I am not fat :-) )

You can pry my two-door/two-seater cars out of my dead hands. :) I give zero shits about other people's comfort in something I buy for myself beyond anyone I live with/share ownership of the car with.

BobTheBuilder

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #23 on: September 20, 2017, 10:17:21 AM »
I give zero shits about other people's comfort in something I buy for myself beyond anyone I live with/share ownership of the car with.

Well, right you are. More contemplating the fact that it's too small for him too. Maybe I only envy him getting a parking spot where mine will not fit.
« Last Edit: September 20, 2017, 11:37:09 AM by BobTheBuilder »

ketchup

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #24 on: September 20, 2017, 10:40:37 AM »
Well, please don't face punch me, but I think having "too small" a car makes for being cheap under some circumstances too.

I am not talking about a Sedan vs a SUV, but micro cars. I carpool with a co-worker, and we are more often 3 than 2 fully grown adults on our 40 miles to this research lab we work at. I drive a Hyundai i30 from 2008, which I consider mustachian enough, and fits 4 adults with dignity. He has a Toyota Yaris, bought exclusively for getting to work, and it is not possible to assort one's body properly in there. I dread the days it's his turn to drive, although we both profit.

Just a minor thing, but you can overdo it. If you need a car, buy one that fits real people! (No, I am not fat :-) )

You can pry my two-door/two-seater cars out of my dead hands. :) I give zero shits about other people's comfort in something I buy for myself beyond anyone I live with/share ownership of the car with.
Agreed!  I've sat in the back of my buddy's Scion tC (head-on-ceiling contact required given my height) and I'll take it over him buying something bigger.  It's not like he has people in the back seat every day.

rothwem

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #25 on: September 20, 2017, 01:51:22 PM »

You are right you did not say what I typed, I should have not quoted you, and just made a general statement.  I just find the "tasteless and inconsiderate" mentality confusing considering the site we are on.


I'm not really sure what's confusing about my comment.  I just find Friday weddings to be a shitty way to cut costs at the expense of your supposed friends.  Along the same lines...how about we start doing weddings on Tuesdays?  I'll bet you could get a good rate for the venue then.  How about you make the guests pay for their own dinners?  That would really help with costs.  Maybe charge admission to the venue?  Meters on the parking spaces?  Add a minimum gift price?  Send a collection plate around at dinner?

The point that I'm getting at is that a wedding is a party where the bride and groom get to choose who shows up.  If you don't want people to come, don't invite them!  If you want to save money, there are MUCH better ways to do it than by inconveniencing your friends and family.   

LadyMuMu

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #26 on: September 20, 2017, 02:10:48 PM »
Wow. I didn't know there was so much ill will about Friday weddings. I got married on a Friday morning because we were having a super small wedding. Yes, it reduced costs but also made having a 30-person wedding easy. There were a few folks who couldn't take the day off and that was fine.

I personally find destination weddings at resorts WAY more inconvenient as a guest and more costly than taking a day off of work.

RidetheRain

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #27 on: September 20, 2017, 02:23:15 PM »
Wow. I didn't know there was so much ill will about Friday weddings. I got married on a Friday morning because we were having a super small wedding. Yes, it reduced costs but also made having a 30-person wedding easy. There were a few folks who couldn't take the day off and that was fine.

I personally find destination weddings at resorts WAY more inconvenient as a guest and more costly than taking a day off of work.

I wonder where you'd draw the line at destination weddings. I live on the opposite side of the country from my family (immediate and extended) and most of my friends also live on that side. Would you consider having them all come to me to be a "destination" wedding? They would still need plane tickets and hotels to stay which is really the inconvenient part.
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LadyMuMu

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Re: Mustachian Vs. Cheap Items
« Reply #28 on: September 20, 2017, 04:23:09 PM »
Needing to travel to a wedding where either the bride/groom/or their family lives isn't something I'd consider a destination wedding--that's just a wedding that requires some people to travel to attend. I've been invited to destination weddings in Italy, the Bahamas, a cruise, etc. Each one required either staying at a specific resort or buying a travel package through the couple's agent. For at least one of these, the wedding couple basically got their personal travel and hotel expenses comped because of the size of their wedding. The costs were anywhere from $1000-2500 per person. In each case though, the couple explicitly said no gifts.