Moving to Way More Expensive Location to Be Closer to Family/Friends

[FrontRanger]

I currently live in the Midwest and enjoy the low cost of living, great people, great schools, slow pace of life, etc. Other than the weather, Iowa is great place to be. I have recently accepted a new job allowing me to basically live anywhere I please as long as I'm in a decent sized hub city for the company I work for. My wife and I are contemplating going back to northern CA (Sacramento area), to be closer to friends/family, but I'm concerned since the COL has to be close to 15% higher and I estimate it would set back FIRE from 55 to 58. Luckily I could enjoy a similar commute and buy a house close to the office. The pay is flat wherever I live. So it could be NYC or rural Alabama, all the same money.

I think we would be a lot happier being closer to our "roots". Has anyone else contemplated the same situation and what did you do? My wife thinks it is a no brainer to be close to family, grandparents, better weather, etc. I'm the financial guy who counts the beans. I can go either way. Could use some advice from people that have lived this.

[Smokystache]

I'm an Iowa native and agree with your assessment - great place to live except the extremes of winter and summer. I've moved away and for me, this comes down to several factors:
- How much do you enjoy being around your family? (Would you like to go to your nephew's track meet, see your niece's recital, etc.)
- Do you have children? If yes, how old are they? Would it be helpful to be near family for childcare and making connections with other family members? I've always been a little envious of families who grew up close to each other - where cousins are more like siblings, etc.
- Based on the above, are their any financial advantages to being close to family? Childcare, help with projects, sharing equipment, tools, etc.
- Any considerations of needing to take care of older family members?
- Are there things you miss about CA (obviously not the high cost of living, but other things: weather, opportunities, cultural events) that aren't available in IA?
- Are there opportunities for your wife? Business opportunities?
- Would you save money because you don't have to travel to see them? Flying twice or more a year to see family (especially with children over the age of 2) gets pretty expensive.

Obviously no answers, but some considerations.

[lizzzi]

Bumping to follow. I'm in the Midwest and it's pretty much OK...but boy, do I ever miss NY.

[Thinkum]

IowaGuy, I hear ya'. I'll post more when I have more time, but I am in the same boat as you. We moved to Texas 3 years ago, but have no family or friends close by. We contemplate moving back home (SoCal) all the time. All I can say right now is that while money is great and so is being FI/RE, how important is family in relation? For some, family is where it's at, others like the autonomy of being farther from family. Sounds like your wife is the former and you are somewhere in between? 

[iris lily]

I moved from Iowa and have never missed my relatives. And we all get along fine.

I guess that makes me a freak. :). But we are only 8 hour drive away.
 There is no way I would move to a high COL place that delays FIRE.

[Roots&Wings]

If you could go either way, your wife thinks it's a no brainer to move, your projected FIRE date would be delayed by 3 years, and your quality of life would improve, seems like a no brainer to me too. You could always test the waters and give it a trial run though.

Side note: I also have a location independent job and moved to live near family and better weather, which has vastly improved my health/happiness (YMMV). Life is not a spreadsheet!

[ender]

This week probably wasn't a good week if you were looking to stay ;)

[Lagom]

It really depends on the relationship you have with the family. I lived in the Chicago area for years, where I had literally no family in a thousand mile radius and while I made friends, the overall culture just didn't quite mesh with me. Since moving back home (SF Bay Area), I am 1000x happier and any delay to FIRE is completely worth it to me. But I love hanging out with my family, have many close cousins, etc., and now have a baby on the way (free babysitting!), so the advantages are numerous.

[Dicey]

I live in the Bay Area and Sackatomatoes is so much more reasonable!! I'd do it in a heartbeat.

In fact, my sister did just that when my parents started getting on in years. They moved their family of six from very affordable South Carolina to Auburn. They had to rent for seven years while they started a new business, saved their money and searched for the perfect fixer property. Now that both parents are gone, she is sooooo happy they came back before it was too late.

My brother lives in Folsom. The cost of their houses combined (hers on 5+ acres with pond and pool, his bigger than mine and on a golf course) is less than ours*.

Sure, everything is more expensive in CA, but property taxes are surprisingly low (1.2%), and it's generally correct to anticipate better than average appreciation, especially if you buy a property that needs a little TLC. Sacramento and surrounding areas were very hard hit and slow to rebound after 2008, and has not really experienced the Bay Area's insane appreciation since about 2012. If you said Silicon Valley or SF, I'd say "Forget it", but Sacto still has pockets of relative affordability, so my vote is yes.

* I'm making this comparison because I managed in an even higher COLA, even though I was single until four years ago and was never a particularly high wage earner. You really do get used to it.

[FrontRanger]

Thanks everyone for their thoughts. You all seriously helped me make the final call to put the house up for sale and make the move. The last week of oppressive humidity here in Iowa certainly sealed the decision! While the homes we are looking at are $100-$150K more than here in Iowa, I also think that over time the appreciation gained will far outstrip the additional cost. My house here in Iowa is probably $480K (face punch!), but I suspect it would only be worth $520K in a decade. Something equivalent in CA will probably be worth $600K.

I can also leverage the better weather to do the things we love. We love camping, but you can't really do that here in IA without an RV. The humidity makes it miserable. Also, I can ride my bike basically year round in CA, but it is impossible here to do that without a fat bike (don't need another bicycle!). To sum it up, there is nothing keeping us here other than the ability to bank a ton of cash into savings. I can drop my savings rate from 55-60% to 40% and I think my happiness jumps 10x. The trade off is well worth it. 

Best advice I was given recently from a mentor is "pick a place to live that will make you really happy and find a job. You'll excel far more at the job and eventually the finances work themselves out." Proving to be great advice.

[mustachepungoeshere]

Great thread.

I'm moving this week, staying in the same city but moving apartments for quality of life.

I struggled with the financial implications (higher rent), but wiser Mustachians than I have given me their blessing. That meant a lot, to know that not everything had to come down to the numbers.

[lifejoy]

I also think that a move is a great idea. Think of the money you'll save on flights! 100% of my vacation days and flight expenses get spent on visiting family. We have a sick relative right now, and he's been ill for two years, so this has cost us at least $1000 a month for two years. Living close to family has many benefits of you have a good relationship. And I would pay a small fortune for better weather!

[Roots&Wings]

Best of luck with the move IowaGuy! Guess you'll soon be CaliforniaGuy :)

[lifejoy]

Best of luck with the move IowaGuy! Guess you'll soon be CaliforniaGuy :)

...you CAN change your username on here if you want to :)
I did!

[ReadySetMillionaire]

Not sure what your complete family picture is, but there is a flip-side of living close to family: it can save you a ton of money. When my fiance and I have kids (God-willing), we are going to have a ton of help because both of our parents live in our same small town. My parents are actually divorced and both remarried, so there are three sets of families to help out.

My dad's second wife is a teacher and has tons of time off, and she has already said she can't wait to babysit. My fiance's mom is off on Fridays. My mom gets out of work very early (2:30ish), which might mean that kids only need to be in daycare for 3-4 hours per day. Add all this up and our childcare costs will hopefully be a lot lower, and it will also allow my fiance to work (as much as she feels appropriate).

Also, I feel like it's a lot easier to stay in instead of go out with family. Just yesterday we hosted my brother's birthday party and everything cost like $30 total. Pasta with spicy alfredo sauce, andoille sausage, grilled chicken, salads, cake, and a couple beers. Compound this over time and it's a lot.


My last point: people and culture matter more than location. I live in Youngstown, Ohio, which is widely known as being economically depressed. But it's a great small town that's in the midst of a slow but observable comeback and, more importantly, I have tons of friends and family here. An outsider would likely consider my town boring, but the people are what matters.

So my vote: go home. It's worth it.

[tj]

Nobody's mentioned but Sacramento area is one of the cheaper parts of California, I think you will be fine- especially with family and friends nearby.

[LAL]

Congratulations!  You'll love it.  We moved to be near family and right now due to circumstances i'm happy we made the huge sacrifice and moved closer to family.  DH has a funeral this weekend and if we hadn't moved he probably couldn't do an overnight trip. I wish I could but we have a lot on our plate.  But the kids and I thrilled we'll be seeing my FIL in 10 days and my mom tomorrow.  Basically we've seen family pretty much every other month in the year we've moved.  Worth every penny.