We live in Jackson Heights queens in a historic coop building. Maintenance is low <$500/mo and covers taxes, 800sf 1br was just over $300k, maybe $325-350k now. 2br apts go for around $500 and up. Our housing is pretty inexpensive, and the neighborhood is great. Feels safe and has everything you need. <30min. to midtown on the 7/e/f trains. I’ve lived all over Brooklyn and also in Astoria Queens. Definitely recommend Jackson Heights if the commute is reasonable for you. We don’t have kids, but the public schools here are decent as well.
Otherwise don’t own a car, take the subway, cook a weeks worth of food on sundays, skip the nightlife, don’t take taxis, get used to walking a lot.
The biggest blunders I see people make is getting a super expensive apartment, spending $100+ on booze every weekend, spending $100s a month on fancy gym classes, constantly upgrading the wardrobe, and eating out 2-3 meals a day to the tune of $1000/mo per person. $2000/mo/kid daycare and private school will also kill it.
Everything is here from $500 a month rooms amd 3$ meals in Chinatown, to $10,000/mo studio apartments, $50 cocktails, and $200/plate restaurants. Choose wisely.
DW and I live on about 35k/yr in NYC which includes a fancy vacation abroad every year. On 200k/yr we can save 100k+ easy, even with the crazy taxes.
Edit: just saw you are working in Brooklyn. Brooklyn is huge so the advice varies a lot. I lived near Bedford-Nostrand on the G, Nostrand on the A/C, and Gates on the J. I wouldnt recommend the J-train to anyone. The other two areas were just OK, but more hood than I care to raise a family in.
If I could afford it, I like the feel of Brooklyn Heights, Boerum Hill, or Park Slope. Not affordable by any reasonable measure, but seem decent for putting down some roots. Personally I am not into the Williamsburg / Greenpoint / Bushwick scene. It’s cool and all, but I like to save my money!