Author Topic: MMM- mad military mom  (Read 1551 times)

Navyfamily

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MMM- mad military mom
« on: December 02, 2017, 12:05:54 PM »
Open question: Should we sell our house or buy a second vehicle because of one stupidly dangerous road?   

Background: We're a military family living in Norfolk VA with 10 more years of my husband's service before we are pension eligible (and essentially FIRE).  We bought a home we like with neighbors we like within biking distance of the naval Base, necessary amenities, and preschool. (Updated to say we are in Norfolk for 4.5 more years min. Probably.)

The 4 Lane problem:
Our neighborhood is sandwiched between two busy 4 Lane pseudo highways.  My husband uses the car 3-4 days a week because he has 100+ lb of tactical gear and flies late at night when the closest military gate is often closed.  I walk my daughter to the only preschool in the area which we happen to love and will use the next 4 years.  BUT crossing the highwayish road to get to preschool is a literal nightmare.  No one yields at the signed crosswalk or at the one intersection with a light.  It feels like I am almost hit on a weekly basis.  My daughter has told me she is scared she will "get crushed under the tires."  It may sound like tiny details exaggeration syndrome, but with kids it's different.  I will cross this road by myself, but not with my 2 month old, I'm done.

The solution?  I know there must be a solution that I can't see.  The easiest one is to by another cheap vehicle to drive the flipping .3 miles to preschool.  It is a total waste and that solution makes me die inside but it is easy.  We could also sell this house (about $280k) and buy or rent one on the other side.  We could not use preschool, but this has been one of the few ways I've found to socialize my kids without driving across the greater metro area for "meetups" and playdates which seems to be the norm. 

The rant-i just feel so betrayed by the city and the government that our tax dollars cannot support a safe way to cross a local street in an older established neighborhood in an urban area.  My husband deploys to comabt zones, misses the birth of his kid, and he needs to worry about this crap? We are given dirty looks for having the audacity to use the legal walking infrastructure? I am livid that drivers never yield even though I have babies and it's the law.  We are conservatives but I want to move to Denmark where my kids will be safe from cars.

MOD EDIT: Merged duplicate topics.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2017, 12:11:02 AM by arebelspy »

Navyfamily

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2017, 12:40:10 PM »
I think I might cross post this to ask a mustachian because it is definitely more of a "life dilemma" than real estate question.  I am just looking for advice from those who are like minded because I don't know anyone who can relate in real life.

YttriumNitrate

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2017, 12:42:31 PM »
How much longer till your husband gets moved to his next duty station?

Navyfamily

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #3 on: December 02, 2017, 12:46:10 PM »
We are trying to stay in Norfolk the remaining 10 years.  He thinks we have a good shot at that.  He just received orders for sea duty here for four years, so we are in Norfolk for at least 4.5 more years.

There is a caveat, he may apply for an enlisted-officer program next year, but he is still fairly confident Norfolk can be our "home" given his line of work.  But we did buy our home with the idea that it would be a desirable rental to good tenants (new construction with good elementary school) so it has that going for it.

jooniFLORisploo

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2017, 12:51:31 PM »
I would buy or build a safety apparatus that goes ahead of all of you and makes your presence clear. i.e., A long-handled stroller -but with no kid in it- with flashing lights and a siren or horn on it, keep that in front of all of you, have that at the road's edge until everyone has stopped.
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YttriumNitrate

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #5 on: December 02, 2017, 12:56:43 PM »
Buying a ~$1000 beater car seems to be the best option in my opinion...far less costly than moving.

Navyfamily

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #6 on: December 02, 2017, 12:58:28 PM »
Lol and I would totally do this.  But I am already the weird mom at preschool who walks her kids.  I'm honestly the only one even though there are sidewalks and neighborhoods galore.  Can you please Microsoft paint your blueprint of this? I need a laugh:)

jooniFLORisploo

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #7 on: December 02, 2017, 12:59:07 PM »
I think I might cross post this to ask a mustachian because it is definitely more of a "life dilemma" than real estate question.  I am just looking for advice from those who are like minded because I don't know anyone who can relate in real life.

Yeah, I think it fits there better. Don't make a duplicate, though -just as a mod to move this one over for you :)
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Navyfamily

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #8 on: December 02, 2017, 01:00:24 PM »
Oops...I duplicated.  Ok lesson learned.  Do you PM mods or ask them here?

jooniFLORisploo

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #9 on: December 02, 2017, 01:05:15 PM »
Lol and I would totally do this.  But I am already the weird mom at preschool who walks her kids.  I'm honestly the only one even though there are sidewalks and neighborhoods galore.  Can you please Microsoft paint your blueprint of this? I need a laugh:)

Might as well keep being the weird mom (I've always been that). That's what it takes, in my experience, to keep our kids safe and well. If we're attached to not looking weird, our kids end up hit by cars, sleep-deprived, chronically ill, bullied, etc. I say better to be the weird parent who keeps her kids safe and well and thriving. In doing so, you're also doing a service to the other parents and their kids, by drawing attention to (and eventually resolving) such stupidities, pioneering paths for other families, making room for them to be a little more weird than they're being currently so that they can better support their own kids...

Oops...I duplicated.  Ok lesson learned.  Do you PM mods or ask them here?

PM a mod. They're so kind. You can see them from the main forum page (link below), where all members currently online are listed at the bottom... Mods appear in red. Just click their name there.

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jooniFLORisploo

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #10 on: December 02, 2017, 01:19:05 PM »
You won't be able to tell, but I'd never used MS Paint before, and in response to your query thought, "Why not?" A good mom deserves some good art from a complete stranger.

You will note the modified stroller includes:
*three wheels for easy mobility
*reflectors
*multi-coloured Christmas lights around the edges (battery operated, like I have in my house)
*a big wad of reflective material inside
*flashing lights
*those cool spinning lights kids get to put on their bike tires
*a front headlight

You are wearing your baby on your front. I gave all three of you earplugs per the horn noise. If I were to do it again, I would add a line from the horn to your hand so you could blast it at will.

In it, you're still pretty mad that you have to go to such lengths, but look how safe and happy your daughter feels!
« Last Edit: December 02, 2017, 01:23:52 PM by jooniFLORisploo »
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Navyfamily

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #11 on: December 02, 2017, 01:33:21 PM »
Lol and I would totally do this.  But I am already the weird mom at preschool who walks her kids.  I'm honestly the only one even though there are sidewalks and neighborhoods galore.  Can you please Microsoft paint your blueprint of this? I need a laugh:)

Might as well keep being the weird mom (I've always been that). That's what it takes, in my experience, to keep our kids safe and well. If we're attached to not looking weird, our kids end up hit by cars, sleep-deprived, chronically ill, bullied, etc. I say better to be the weird parent who keeps her kids safe and well and thriving. In doing so, you're also doing a service to the other parents and their kids, by drawing attention to (and eventually resolving) such stupidities, pioneering paths for other families, making room for them to be a little more weird than they're being currently so that they can better support their own kids...

Oops...I duplicated.  Ok lesson learned.  Do you PM mods or ask them here?

PM a mod. They're so kind. You can see them from the main forum page (link below), where all members currently online are listed at the bottom... Mods appear in red. Just click their name there.

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Thank you for the encouragement.  It really resonates because I see so many fellow enlisted military moms who have neglected their health and simply walking their kids to school and activities would do wonders for their mental and physical health.  It is so hard sometimes to have faith I am making the right choices and not alienating my entire family.  I am trying to convince my husband to build a steel bike trailer for his gear.  But I have found he also hits a wall of how weird he wants to be.  He is like, I'm not building a rickshaw for my gear.

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #12 on: December 02, 2017, 01:35:54 PM »
I can't offer a real solution, but I feel your pain. Living in Edmonton (where council tries to be bike/walk friendly) we experience the same thing all the time. People turning into us while we ride bikes, cutting us off in walking in crosswalks, etc. The car, or rather jacked up diesel truck, is king here.

One thing that does work fairly decent is the non-intersection crosswalks with the random flashing yellow LED lights. Just about everyone seems to stop for those. But the crosswalks with just the signs or the yellow steady flashing light, forgetaboutit.

So one option may be approaching the city engineering dept and asking if they could install those LED flashers?
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Navyfamily

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #13 on: December 02, 2017, 01:37:40 PM »
You won't be able to tell, but I'd never used MS Paint before, and in response to your query thought, "Why not?" A good mom deserves some good art from a complete stranger.

You will note the modified stroller includes:
*three wheels for easy mobility
*reflectors
*multi-coloured Christmas lights around the edges (battery operated, like I have in my house)
*a big wad of reflective material inside
*flashing lights
*those cool spinning lights kids get to put on their bike tires
*a front headlight

You are wearing your baby on your front. I gave all three of you earplugs per the horn noise. If I were to do it again, I would add a line from the horn to your hand so you could blast it at will.

In it, you're still pretty mad that you have to go to such lengths, but look how safe and happy your daughter feels!

Oh my goodness you made my week.  Sometimes you need to laugh.  I have been reading forum posts about bike safety and got an air horn and reflective.tape for the stroller.  You are right on the money with my mad face.  I look at cars with disapproving permascowl now.  I am a well adjusted 33 year old married mom but I seriously want to buy eggs and throw them at the cars who pass us by like street vermin. 

At least this experience has given us much food for thought for where we retire.  We used to want 50 acres in the woods away from traffic, but then we would just have to drive everywhere! 

Thanks again:)
« Last Edit: December 02, 2017, 01:39:13 PM by Navyfamily »

jooniFLORisploo

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #14 on: December 02, 2017, 01:41:34 PM »
He is like, I'm not building a rickshaw for my gear.

LOL! I don't know you guys, but I feel like I can "hear" his voice saying that, lol.

Military is interesting in that it can -so ironically!- be hard on health.

I think most of us prefer to not be weird, but sometimes it's worth it. I was very upset to read of an eight year old girl hit by a transit bus walking to school in my part of the world yesterday. People were aware of the issues at the intersection. We should definitely do what we need to do. That crazy contraption up there may be what brings this issue to the attention of your local powers.
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Navyfamily

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #15 on: December 02, 2017, 01:47:57 PM »
Yes my long term plan is to advocate for safer crossings with the city.  There is one such crossing with flashing lights at another crossing.  It has a higher success rate but still maybe 25- 50%. And the drivers seem like they wait until the last second to slow down and like they are doing me some huge favor by following the law. 

One of the reasons I posted this is because I was hoping to hear similar stories.  It's so isolating sometimes.  Since I started the discussion in the real estate forum, I think we've decided to buy a beater pickup as backup vehicle for my husband.  Utter nonsense that we need two tons of steel to cross a road.  I am buying some safety gear for the stroller but I have a feeling people will just check out our stroller but not stop.  The crosswalks at lights are actually scarier than separate crosswalks because the cars turn right into us. 

It's tough, I could deal with this frogger style as a singleton but not with my kids.  I didn't realise how much less nimble I would be with a double stroller when we bought the house.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2017, 01:49:49 PM by Navyfamily »

tralfamadorian

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #16 on: December 02, 2017, 01:58:57 PM »
On a different tact, have you tried raising a stink with the city? Calling the news stations? Petition? Because military! And children! Maybe you could spearhead the idea of a more obvious crosswalk with lights and a crosswalk attendant during school drop off and pick up times.

Navyfamily

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #17 on: December 02, 2017, 02:07:27 PM »
On a different tact, have you tried raising a stink with the city? Calling the news stations? Petition? Because military! And children! Maybe you could spearhead the idea of a more obvious crosswalk with lights and a crosswalk attendant during school drop off and pick up times.

I would love for just such a pedestrian uprising but much to my dismay people seem fine with the status quo.  We are not in a trendy neighborhood, mostly military, blue collar, and poor, and I just don't think people care.  And most military love cars so they would think such a movemen is unnecessary.  There are more walkable parts of Norfolk but they are not near base.  Plus I am an introvert and even wrijtn this post is hard because I feel like a complainypants.  But I am going to write the city's traffic division. 

Navyfamily

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #18 on: December 02, 2017, 02:11:33 PM »
He is like, I'm not building a rickshaw for my gear.

LOL! I don't know you guys, but I feel like I can "hear" his voice saying that, lol.

Military is interesting in that it can -so ironically!- be hard on health.

I think most of us prefer to not be weird, but sometimes it's worth it. I was very upset to read of an eight year old girl hit by a transit bus walking to school in my part of the world yesterday. People were aware of the issues at the intersection. We should definitely do what we need to do. That crazy contraption up there may be what brings this issue to the attention of your local powers.

My long suffering husband is used to my "weird" ideas mostly adopted from this website, but he has seen them work.  When we were dating he bought a mattress on credit! Barf! We tease each other about that now, like oh let's just buy it on credit like that mattress.

Joking aside, I am very very sad to hear that an 8 year old was killed in your region.  Since becoming a parent, those stories take my breath away with the injustice.  I have read that Denmark's bike infrastructure was spurred by a consensus of mad moms like myself.  Why are we so complacent about traffic deaths here???

jooniFLORisploo

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #19 on: December 02, 2017, 02:14:37 PM »
By the way, as a driver (and pedestrian and former cyclist), I LOVE when people go over-obvious with their bodies/dogs/children/equipment/selves. When I pass by someone trying to cross -because I didn't notice them on the sidewalk in time- I feel like such a jerk. When people are all flashy, I'm only grateful and happy, and I'm thrilled to get to stop as I should. I'm happy I got to stop for them, and happy knowing they are safe out there. Whatever lights or sounds shout at me to notice you, I'm grateful for, because it's often all I have to go on.

In my ideal world, the pedestrian train would be lit from start to end -sometimes a person has a stroller jutting out (or two small children rollerblading) ahead and a dog trailing 6' behind, but only the main adult has a light on. Makes me sweat buckets when I'm driving.

I say all this, yet I'm still working on getting my kid and I rigged out for when we're walking. (Crazy hard to find reflective stuff here!)

It sounds like a pedestrian-controlled stoplight or pedestrian-controlled overhead flashing lights might be a good fit in your tricky spot. In the meantime...
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Navyfamily

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #20 on: December 02, 2017, 02:20:37 PM »
By the way, as a driver (and pedestrian and former cyclist), I LOVE when people go over-obvious with their bodies/dogs/children/equipment/selves. When I pass by someone trying to cross -because I didn't notice them on the sidewalk in time- I feel like such a jerk. When people are all flashy, I'm only grateful and happy, and I'm thrilled to get to stop as I should. I'm happy I got to stop for them, and happy knowing they are safe out there. Whatever lights or sounds shout at me to notice you, I'm grateful for, because it's often all I have to go on.

In my ideal world, the pedestrian train would be lit from start to end -sometimes a person has a stroller jutting out (or two small children rollerblading) ahead and a dog trailing 6' behind, but only the main adult has a light on. Makes me sweat buckets when I'm driving.

I say all this, yet I'm still working on getting my kid and I rigged out for when we're walking. (Crazy hard to find reflective stuff here!)

It sounds like a pedestrian-controlled stoplight or pedestrian-controlled overhead flashing lights might be a good fit in your tricky spot. In the meantime...

That is a good point and I do sympathize with drivers because sometimes stopping is unsafe.  In fact last December I was rear ended in just such a situation and it totalled my car, with my daughter in the back seat.  We were fine but I am now scared of being rear.ended. and Jay walking pedestrians who have given up following rules because why bother?  It's tough. 

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #21 on: December 02, 2017, 03:36:07 PM »
Drivers are not so bad here in the northern Midwest and will generally stop for people with kids. Why not ask for a school crossing sign, since you are so close to a preschool? Alternatively, our farmers market is on a busy 4-lane road. They set a bucket of orange flags on either side of the road, so people can carry them and be seen when crossing.  I myself have driven stupidly short distances because I live on a busy 55 mph road that up until last year had gravel shoulders, and I am willing to bike it by myself but not with kids, so I can't really face punch you if you choose to get a car.

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #22 on: December 02, 2017, 11:47:10 PM »
Oh man, I was stationed in Norfolk for 6 years, and I know exactly which 2 roads you are talking about. I rode my bike in that area exactly once, and it terrified me. I can't imagine wrangling two small kids across those roads.

Ideas for making it better:

1. If you want to keep walking, figure out how to make yourself as weird and disagreeable as possible while crossing the street. Buy a panic whistle, and blast away while in the crossing zone. Glare. Rant. Wave your arms. Get a fog horn, and blow it at cars that don't appear to be slowing down adequately. Speak loudly to the voices in your head while gesticulating grandly. If you act unpredictable enough, you'll instill uncertainty into the drivers and that uncertainty will make them much more caution about approaching the intersection.

2. As you said, advocate with the city planning to get better traffic light timing. Push for dedicated pedestrian crossing times at the intersections, with large and well placed No Turn On Red signs, and some cops stationed to discourage violators. I'd suggest contacting Prospector on this forum; he's a traffic guy and would know the best language to use when drafting your request, and the best route of submission.

3. When the City drags it's feet, put that amazing military social network into gear and figure out how to shame the absolute living fuck out of the City. Campaigns. Billboards. Intersection sit-ins. Whatever you need. Norfolk's economy basically is the military, and if you figure out the right PR spin the City will capitulate.

Good luck! I actually really enjoyed Norfolk, especially the Ghent area. I hope you find some joy there.

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #23 on: December 03, 2017, 12:07:37 AM »
Is there a safer crossing anywhere remotely close? Doubling the walk would still be a reasonable walk, for example.

Does your DD go to preschool every day?  Is there anywhere at work your husband could store his gear if he left it there sometimes?

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #24 on: December 05, 2017, 09:20:54 AM »
But I am going to write the city's traffic division.

My city has an online website to make suggestions/complaints.  My neighbors are frustrated at the traffic, and we are logging every single traffic violation we see (with time of day and details) on the city website.  They've sent a police officer out several times to write tickets during the morning, when cars seem to be at their worst.

Don't just complain once.  Complain every single time you see something unsafe.
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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #25 on: December 05, 2017, 10:12:59 AM »
Can you get one of those reflective stop signs that crossing guards use?

That sucks. It should not be dangerous to get around your city without a car. Shame them, get a reflective vest and stop sign, and definitely, definitely contact the city. And your city council representative.

I can't wait for self driving cars to be the norm. People are so unreliable.

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #26 on: December 05, 2017, 10:22:49 AM »
But I am going to write the city's traffic division.

My city has an online website to make suggestions/complaints.  My neighbors are frustrated at the traffic, and we are logging every single traffic violation we see (with time of day and details) on the city website.  They've sent a police officer out several times to write tickets during the morning, when cars seem to be at their worst.

Don't just complain once.  Complain every single time you see something unsafe.
We have several street crossings in our area where they have installed a button.  It's not a stop light for the cars, per se, but a flashing light that is activated when pushed.  So the cars are required to stop when you push the button and the lights flash.  Not a regular stop light.

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #27 on: December 05, 2017, 11:28:26 AM »
Open question: Should we sell our house or buy a second vehicle because of one stupidly dangerous road?   

Background: We're a military family living in Norfolk VA with 10 more years of my husband's service before we are pension eligible (and essentially FIRE).  We bought a home we like with neighbors we like within biking distance of the naval Base, necessary amenities, and preschool. (Updated to say we are in Norfolk for 4.5 more years min. Probably.)

The 4 Lane problem:
Our neighborhood is sandwiched between two busy 4 Lane pseudo highways.  My husband uses the car 3-4 days a week because he has 100+ lb of tactical gear and flies late at night when the closest military gate is often closed.  I walk my daughter to the only preschool in the area which we happen to love and will use the next 4 years.  BUT crossing the highwayish road to get to preschool is a literal nightmare. No one yields at the signed crosswalk or at the one intersection with a light.  It feels like I am almost hit on a weekly basis.  My daughter has told me she is scared she will "get crushed under the tires."  It may sound like tiny details exaggeration syndrome, but with kids it's different.  I will cross this road by myself, but not with my 2 month old, I'm done.

The solution?  I know there must be a solution that I can't see.  The easiest one is to by another cheap vehicle to drive the flipping .3 miles to preschool.  It is a total waste and that solution makes me die inside but it is easy.  We could also sell this house (about $280k) and buy or rent one on the other side.  We could not use preschool, but this has been one of the few ways I've found to socialize my kids without driving across the greater metro area for "meetups" and playdates which seems to be the norm. 

The rant-i just feel so betrayed by the city and the government that our tax dollars cannot support a safe way to cross a local street in an older established neighborhood in an urban area.  My husband deploys to comabt zones, misses the birth of his kid, and he needs to worry about this crap? We are given dirty looks for having the audacity to use the legal walking infrastructure? I am livid that drivers never yield even though I have babies and it's the law.  We are conservatives but I want to move to Denmark where my kids will be safe from cars.

MOD EDIT: Merged duplicate topics.

If people aren't running the red light, it would seem that waiting for the light to be red and then making it "obvious" to any right-turning traffic that you exist would make crossing there as safe as crossing any other street with traffic in the country.

If you feel that is still unsafe, buy a car (though if it's not safe to cross at a red light it's probably not too much safer in a car). That'd be considerably cheaper than moving.

Regardless of what the actual law is, common practice rules in most circumstances and pedestrians stepping in front of moving traffic is not the common practice. It's legal (in most places) to drive 10 mph in a 45 mph no-passing zone. That doesn't mean it won't result in a bunch of people getting upset at any person who does so. Similarly, pedestrians legally get right of way in crosswalks but that doesn't mean that people are going to be happy if they are inconvenienced by someone utilizing that legality.
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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #28 on: December 05, 2017, 12:00:20 PM »
I know where you are talking about.  I used to live in Norfolk, and for such a small city, it gets more than its share of big-time problems with traffic and other common big city problems.

Try to contact Doug Beaver.  I think he's another old Hawkeye NFO, but not quite me....
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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #29 on: December 05, 2017, 12:04:31 PM »
love that sketch of the flashy stroller thing!

my ideas -

carpool. certainly somebody driving to the school could pick you or her up for the final quarter mile

take a Lyft. how much could that even be? $2 per day, so $40 per month?

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #30 on: December 05, 2017, 02:56:42 PM »
Ahh, Norfolk. VA Beach is my motherland and my parents still live there. Unfortunately.

Sadly I have no good ideas to resolve your problem. That entire region is status-quo and the local governments are all shit. You are looking at an uphill battle to get anything changed. :/

tyler2016

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #31 on: December 07, 2017, 04:03:22 AM »
On a different tact, have you tried raising a stink with the city? Calling the news stations? Petition? Because military! And children! Maybe you could spearhead the idea of a more obvious crosswalk with lights and a crosswalk attendant during school drop off and pick up times.

I would love for just such a pedestrian uprising but much to my dismay people seem fine with the status quo.  We are not in a trendy neighborhood, mostly military, blue collar, and poor, and I just don't think people care.  And most military love cars so they would think such a movemen is unnecessary.  There are more walkable parts of Norfolk but they are not near base.  Plus I am an introvert and even wrijtn this post is hard because I feel like a complainypants.  But I am going to write the city's traffic division.

No, you are not just complaining. This may sound a little creepy, but I am pretty sure I know where you live. I also live in Hampton Roads. If you live where I think you do, I would fear for my safety too. I have dozens of war stories about drivers in this area. Just yesterday the vehicle in front of me rear ended the vehicle in front of them.

Let us know how it goes, or just PM me if you like, if you contact the city.


NoStacheOhio

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #32 on: December 07, 2017, 06:14:00 AM »
Regardless of what the actual law is, common practice rules in most circumstances and pedestrians stepping in front of moving traffic is not the common practice. It's legal (in most places) to drive 10 mph in a 45 mph no-passing zone. That doesn't mean it won't result in a bunch of people getting upset at any person who does so. Similarly, pedestrians legally get right of way in crosswalks but that doesn't mean that people are going to be happy if they are inconvenienced by someone utilizing that legality.

Apologies for being pedantic, but driving 10 in a 45 without some kind of extenuating circumstance (e.g. "I'm driving a tractor") isn't legal in most places. You be cited for obstruction.

With regard to the OP, reflective vest might help in addition to the high-visibility stroller? I've always wanted to carry tennis balls to throw at shitty drivers, but that's probably a bad idea.

I was involved in a minor car vs. pedestrian incident earlier this year (basically a low-speed glancing bump), and it was really upsetting. Especially because I was walking with my four-year-old son. I had a good sized bruise, but other than that we were OK. I may have introduced my son to the F word though .... I've also seen someone thrown over the top of a Civic and land on their head. I drive a lot, but I take great pains to try to avoid ever using the gas pedal when the front of my car is pointed at pedestrians. As a pedestrian I'm super cranky. It's probably unhealthy.
The first step is acknowledging you have a problem, right?

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/journals/digging-out-of-a-hole/

Sun Hat

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #33 on: December 07, 2017, 09:01:13 AM »
Can you get one of those reflective stop signs that crossing guards use?

This is my suggestion: dress as if you are a paid crossing guard.
1) Blaze orange safety vest (with GUARD, SAFETY or BYLAW ENFORCEMENT, or something that implies authority without actually saying that you're police) with lots of reflective stripes,
2) Either a hand-held crossing guard stop sign or one of the stop signs on a 6' pole that construction crews use to direct traffic

There are women who do this at a crosswalk on a busy 4 lane street near a school not far from me, and I don't know whether they're paid by the school, the city, or just angry moms; but I can say that they're very effective. See if you can coordinate some other parents to form a volunteer crossing-guard brigade. That will soon get drivers used to the idea that during certain hours, they have to pay more attention and expect to stop.

This should help a bit while you also write to the base (including the Base Commander and security forces to ask them to work with the city to do a speed / enforcement trap) and every civic leader that you can think of.

Try to get the stretch of road designated as a school zone (with lower speed limits and higher fines). Or, if you're feeling rebellious, put up school zone signs yourself (while wearing your quasi-official looking orange vest).


Dee18

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #34 on: December 07, 2017, 01:00:22 PM »
+1 on write everyone you can think of.  While  you have told us on MMM about the difficult situation, people who can fix it may not be aware of it.  I would also inform the preschool of your concern.  If you offer to write up a letter, perhaps the preschool director will sign it and send it in addition to your personal letter. 

In the meantime, you can get a hand held stop sign like a traffic guard uses for $13.99 here:

http://www.thefirestore.com/store/product.aspx/productId/12459/selectedVariationId/29843/2W-International-STOP-Paddle-with-5in-Handle?utm_source=google&utm_campaign=google&utm_content=29843&utm_medium=cpc&gclid=CjwKCAiA6qPRBRAkEiwAGw4SdoGm4VlztQHWueiTEKwwOcnsAwtOSqcUIVSXxeF_N5VTYtSdyc2iWRoCSoMQAvD_BwE

JoJo

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Re: MMM- mad military mom
« Reply #35 on: December 07, 2017, 02:06:55 PM »
Is it in a city limits?  Go make a fuss at a city council meeting.

My city installed buckets with hand held flags that you use for crossing.  I don't know about having a stop sign - might get you in trouble - but a yellow crossing flag with reflectors might be good.

Like this.

https://www.wired.com/2014/06/bridgeport-pedestrian-flags/