I feel so far behind

[diggingout]

I agree with much of what has been said - get out of debt ASAP, you don't need that much cash, look for ways to lower expenses, etc.

One thing you mention - you are considering saving for a wedding? Huh? Why in the world are you planning on spending money on a wedding with your financial situation - go get married at the courthouse if you want and then have a potluck at your house afterwards. Or have a friend get ordained online and get married in a park and have a picnic. A wedding doesn't need to be expensive, that's just wacky. It's one day. Later on when you are financially better off you can have a big blowout anniversary party if you want to. I think having been married 10, 20 or 50 years is more of a special thing to celebrate anyway than just  getting married. LOTS of people get married, not everyone makes it for all those years though.

I had a very cheap, informal wedding and am happily married. People still talk years later that it was their favorite wedding they've been to - meaningful and simple. Friends and family pitched in for things and it was low stress - we just got to enjoy the day.

+1

If my boyfriend and I ever get married, I want to just have the wedding in my back yard. I have a friend who is ordained who would be an awesome officiant. After I would just have a buffet lunch or dinner that I cooked myself or have some close friends each cook something.

I second the small wedding now and big anniversary party later. I think that's a great idea!

We do want to have a small wedding.  In a backyard.  But we still need to save money for it and find someone with a backyard ;]  My boyfriend's best friend is ordained and we've discussed just using him since he also knows both of us very well.  One of my other friends is a highly sought after wedding photographer and she gives us all huge discounts, and her husband is just starting out as a wedding videographer.  And my other friend, who will also be a bridesmaid, is a web designer and her gift to all of her friends has been doing their invites for the shower/wedding/saves the date/etc.  BUT, our attire, food, drinks, chairs and tables will not appear out of thin air and since I've been advised to use my savings for my default loan, we'll still have to save for our small wedding.  I understand going to a courthouse, but it's the one day we get to celebrate us in our whole lives (neither my boyfriend nor I like being the center of attention, and I'll likely decide against a wedding shower unless someone forces it upon me, and it won't be my mom haha).  I'm a sentimental person, and I'd really like to capture that day with close friends and family.

This sounds like a great wedding plan and very similar to what we did. Some tips that may or may not help you out:
- I got my dress off the rack, on sale at David's Bridal. It was only $200. Shorter dresses are usually cheaper and perfect for outdoor weddings. I also really wanted a tea length dress so it was no sacrifice.
- I did my own makeup and a friend did my hair (she's a professional). I don't normally wear makeup so I needed some help with it - I just went to the mall and had them show me how to do everything so I could replicate.
- Friend played violin.
-Another friend got ordained.
- Another friend took the photos.
- Husband also elected to wear all white and he got a white linen shirt and white linen pants for pretty cheap on sale.
- Neither of us wore shoes so there was an expense we got to skip.
- Food doesn't have to be too much. We had brunch after my wedding and it was really cheap and easy to make yummy egg bakes for a large group of people - 25 people total, food was only $110. My mom and aunt cooked it all themselves.
- Mom baked a rhubarb cake with rhubarb from her own garden. Rhubarb cake is a family tradition so it was cheap and meaningful!
- Drinks - it was morning so we only did champagne. The liquor store just let me buy a bunch and return whatever I didn't open. They did a tasting for me for free so I could find something good and reasonably priced.
- Chairs and tables - my workplace has them and they just let staff borrow them if they aren't in use (we only use them a couple times a year for work functions). They don't charge people for this and you just need to find a truck to haul them. Ask around at the companies of friends and families. This is an easy perk that companies can offer to employees essentially for free. I know other people that have managed to find similar arrangements with their church or school too.

I think it's smart to save up for it, but it really doesn't have to be expensive nor take much more work than working with rental companies for all this stuff.

Sorry if I was a little hard on you, I saw "saving up for a wedding" and I immediately assumed $30,000+ celebration since that's what people usually mean when they say they are saving up for a wedding.

No worries - & thank you for the extra pointers! :)

[diggingout]

Are you going to keep accepting the $400 from your mom? Sorry if I missed this in the earlier replies.

I will stop accepting the $400, or accept it and save it for her, since she seems to suck at saving.