Thank you every one. I read more on what an obliger tendency is and awestruck that it relates to my personality so much. My personality cannot simply meet all the internal expectations. This is liberating to know. I did some analysis on what things I've done and what I've not. It kind of proves I was an obliger always.
I did 10,000 steps a day for 40 days for a company-wide race challenge and met that goal. In fact some days I went up to 17,000 steps. Once the race is complete, no one is there to make me accountable, so I stopped walking 10k steps a day.
I ate a vegetarian, dairy free, one meal a day diet for 15 days for a religious ceremony that I got to do and will be attended by many. It was easy for me. But without that demand, I cannot imagine a vegetarian diet.
I have saved money & invested in different areas - (built a home & 3 apartments in my home country mortgage free and invested in family business/peer to peer lending etc.) because my dad is overlooking all these finances there. I'm accountable to him. Here in the USA, no one looks at my finances, so I suck now and then with the leftover money I have here.
I signed up for a course - paid 2 grand (Please knock me down the street). It was a complete self-learn with some facebook support group. That didn't go well at all because no one I care about is validating me or making me accountable.
I went to the gym for 2 years (95% attendance) because my roommate always goes and I join him. He will ask several questions if I don't and people starting naming me as a regular gym goer. That was quite a prestige for me at that time.
Workwise, only when I put followup & status meetings on calendars, I do significant work on that project.
I don't study for exams till the last day of an exam. I study the whole last day when there is no escape. I was a college topper but I always think how great my scores would have been if I have done a systematic learning approach.
I do things what people expect out of me. I don't want them to be disappointed. So my finance, health, career, habits, relationships are fair & okay for the outer cycle. But only I know the inner stuff and how I struggle to keep things and how poor am I in my own inner being. I have poor self-esteem, people pleaser, approval seeker, cannot hold steady decisions etc.
OK after realizing an obliger personality and my internal goals can be met via external validations - this is what I'm deciding and God knows how consistent this will plan be. I'm seeking for a real someone who can make me accountable for the goals I wanted to achieve and make me suffer consequences. Looks like the term here is "accountability partner".
My roommate is a serious gym person. I am going to go to gym 30 to 45 minutes every day with him. I will be sad disappointing him and so there is a bigger chance I might be consistent in this one.
I will write more on this & next efforts.
Sorry I'm double posting this in the below thread and my journal because there are some people following only one of these and I wanted to update all of them. That said, I will merge this topic soon in the journal.
Journal :
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/journals/sometimes-i-wish-life-had-subtitlesThread:
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/i'm-so-inconsistent-in-everything-is-this-how-life-works-for-everyone