Author Topic: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.  (Read 5181 times)

Katiekatie

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Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« on: July 13, 2017, 08:53:10 PM »
Hello,

Iam happily in a marriage with 2 young kids. Problem is my husband loves comfort and being home, watching tv, being on cell phone. Me on the other hand, I enjoy nature and I love camping. I would spend all my time in nature if I could.

Any advice? I should probably just get out there on my own with the kids obviously which iv tried to do just a little challenging because my son is 3 and my daughter is only 8 months. I guess I should just wait it out till my youngest is older to be able to do more outdoor things.

Thanks everyone, any input would be appreciated.

Just wanted to add that every time  I mention camping he points out what a waste of money that is but to me it's one of the least inexpensive activities. We live in Canada so we only get about 2-3 months of nice weather. I feel trapped and unhappy. He's a great father and husband otherwise.

ixtap

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #1 on: July 13, 2017, 09:03:32 PM »
Could you go camping with friends while he spends a weekend with the kids? Or would you even enjoy it by yourself?

Do you picnic?

Do you have any time to take a hike on your own?

Do you have a stroller that fits both kids? Or do you wear the littlest so that you and eldest can romp in a field or woods?

Do you have a yard? I loved spending time in the tent in the yard with my mom when I was little.

 Do you enjoy gardening? Even without a yard, you can have a flower box.

Rather than trying to change him, try to find ways to enjoy what makes you tick.


ElleFiji

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2017, 09:03:54 PM »
My best friend and I have similarly chosen flawed partners. We go camping for at least two nights a year together.

Neither of us have kids, but if you can walk, bike, bus or drive the kids to gentle outdoorsy areas I'd start with that. Maybe the husband can handle occasional day trips, but if not, keep heading out on your own, and let your friends know you'd love a girls or girls plus kids camping trip.

jooniFLORisploo

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2017, 09:30:05 PM »
I would join a group.

Family camping Meetup.com groups
Homeschool sparks/brownie/guides group
Faith-based camping trips and nature-based retreats
Fishing clubs

All tend to allow all ages, all tend to have people offering lots of hands/support/etc.

If it weren't for these, my kid would never have gotten outside, lol.

Freedomin5

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2017, 10:20:01 PM »
Do you live in a house with a backyard? With such little ones it might be fun to just set up a tent and "camp" in the backyard. Your husband may also be motivated to at least sit on the deck/patio with his phone for a bit, or fire up the grill or something. Plus, since the house is only steps away, you wouldn't need to plan/pack much.

If you don't live in a house, do you have friends/family who could let you camp out in their backyard for the night? It would be a lot of fun if they also had kids who were the same/similar age.

Dee18

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2017, 04:40:16 AM »
Perhaps you could locate a camping place close to home where the whole family could go for a picnic supper.  Then your husband can head home with the baby while you and your son camp overnight.

dilinger

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2017, 04:50:07 AM »
I hate camping.

I do, however, love rock climbing.  So while I'm not willing to go camping, I will go sleep in a cabin in the woods if it means getting to climb.  My wife uses this to her advantage to go hiking and do other outdoorsy stuff that she likes.  Climbing is a fun hobby I picked up at a (comfortable, climate-controlled) climbing gym before venturing to the outdoors.

Is there a similar activity that your husband likes that might convince him to join you outdoors, even if he's not willing to sleep in a tent on the hard, cold, uncomfortable ground, sacrificing blood to the merciless mosquitoes that pray on unconscious humans?
« Last Edit: July 14, 2017, 04:51:55 AM by dilinger »

Linda_Norway

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2017, 05:02:23 AM »
I hike a lot in the local forest by myself or with a friend or with a walking group. And occasionally I also hike in the mountains on day trips by myself and on longer trips with my husband, with a friend or in a group.
Hiking and camping is not the same. Here in Norway we have a lot of mountain huts where you can sleep. Some of them are quite well equipped where you can get a 3 course meal, showers and your own bedroom. Others are very simple where you need to get water out of the local stream. We can also put up a tent everywhere. So there is an option for everyone with each level of comfort to go hiking.
We often go on car-camping vacations, on campsites. Campsites very also from being very simple to very well-equipped. As long as they are in a nice area, you could choose a luxury one where your have wifi and a TV.
And what about just renting a cabin somewhere in a nice place, for a week or a weekend at the time? But make sure you go on hikes by yourself or with your children.

life_travel

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2017, 05:38:16 AM »
^^ I second this. Rent a nice cabin ( if your budget allows) with wifi and tv OR make sure there is phone signal so he can get online still on his phone. Do you have a laptop? When we camp ( even remote ) my husband likes to watch a movie every night which he pre downloads on USB and then plays on a laptop . If I want peace and quiet in a tent , he uses his big noise cancelling headphones . If I don't mind it or willing to watch it with him , then we watch together .
If you rent a nice cabin which doesn't require too much of a " set up" unlike a camping spot , he may be willing to try again :) during the day you can take a short hike with the kids while he chills in a cabin. Would that work ?

nobody123

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2017, 06:37:39 AM »
I have an appreciation for indoor plumbing and air conditioning, and therefore hate camping.  My brother in law feels similarly.  So, our wives take the kids camping once or twice a year, and we get a few days to ourselves.  They realize we'd just be bitching and moaning if they forced us to go, so they accept our non-outdoorsy ways.

If your kids are too little to camp, go for two nights with one of your friends and leave your kids with your husband.  That's not an unreasonable request.

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2017, 06:46:05 AM »
I hate camping.

I do, however, love rock climbing.  So while I'm not willing to go camping, I will go sleep in a cabin in the woods if it means getting to climb.  My wife uses this to her advantage to go hiking and do other outdoorsy stuff that she likes.  Climbing is a fun hobby I picked up at a (comfortable, climate-controlled) climbing gym before venturing to the outdoors.

Is there a similar activity that your husband likes that might convince him to join you outdoors, even if he's not willing to sleep in a tent on the hard, cold, uncomfortable ground, sacrificing blood to the merciless mosquitoes that pray on unconscious humans?

I like this approach.  I probably would not have gone camping with my wife, but she found a place where you can go river tubing (basically floating down the river drinking beer all day...which is my kind of outdoor activity ;) and then camp afterwards.  This led to me being okay with camping.

Cpa Cat

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #11 on: July 14, 2017, 07:50:47 AM »
Why not leave the baby at home when you camp? Your son might appreciate some one-on-one time with you.

As they get older, you can switch off - each kids getting to spend one on one time with each parent.

Holyoak

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #12 on: July 14, 2017, 07:53:04 AM »
At one time I was an interpretive naturalist, and managed a nature center for a state park.  Not only did I witness adults who were not keen to the outdoors, I had children not overjoyed as well.  I was on a crusade to change that situation.  Many times it was one nature loving parent, who tried to inspire a family member to step on over to the other side.  Steps is a good metaphor, as I found small gradual steps, or bites can work a lot better than instant total immersion.  A lot of it can be how far and fast folks can expand their comfort zone, and also many times deal with potential fears/phobias that can go hand-in-hand.

I had visitors who wanted to go boating, but were afraid of the water snakes, go hiking but afraid of ticks...  I found by providing an education to these concerns, and measures to deal with them as with any concern in life, helped alleviate some of the stress.  As for programs I did, that I found were particularly enjoyable to "non-outdoorsy' people were:

Fishing:  Low physical impact to reward ratio, easy participation for all family members.  Never once did I not see an ear-to-ear smile on the face of a person catching their first Bluegill. Never.

Star gazing:  I had a volunteer bring his massive reflector telescope, and guests could see the rings of Saturn, moons of Jupiter, or even the moon at HD.  This stuff is magical, and profoundly binds you with the universe.

Night time owl call ins:  I would have a specialist from the raptor rehab center perform a pre-easy hike talk, them we would venture into the woods, to call in Barred Owls.  We would get single and pairs almost on top of us, doing their incredible calls.  You never heard them fly in, and talk about a magical moment, when these owls would start their 'monkey call'.  I know this experience will live forever with many of the attendees.

Perhaps a nice visit to a local nature center, would be a spark for you husband.       

wenchsenior

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #13 on: July 14, 2017, 07:54:22 AM »
Camping and being outdoors are not necessarily the same things. 


I LOVE the outdoors, and when I was young...up through my mid 30s...and not plagued by various health problems, I was the laziest, lowest maintenance camper ever....I often camped by carrying trail bars/water and no other food, and just throwing a sleeping bag down on the ground with no tent (or with only a mosquito net thrown across the top).  I slept on solid rock with no problems.  I didn't need a campsite and often didn't use one. I didn't need a fire or hot food or ANYTHING.

Then I aged and became plagued with health issues, insomnia, chronic pain problems, vomit-inducing migraines, etc. And very quickly, I stopped enjoying camping. I've done it maybe 3 or 4 times in the past dozen years...last outing, I did not sleep a wink and was miserable lying achy and unable to move for hours while being worried about disturbing my husband's sleep.

My husband took a while to understand that I just dread camping now, but now he does it his own with friends and during field work.  BUT,  I still LOVE doing other outdoor stuff.  Swimming, walks, gardening, hiking (when I'm well enough). 

My advice is to either find outdoor activities that your husband likes and focus on those; and then you find some friends, etc., to do camping or the ones YOU like with.  If you camp with your kids, it can be like a 'special Mom activity' for them. (When I was a kid, my mother almost never camped with us...she didn't like it as much....so it was a fun thing we did with Dad).
« Last Edit: July 14, 2017, 07:56:52 AM by wenchsenior »

wenchsenior

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #14 on: July 14, 2017, 08:04:43 AM »
At one time I was an interpretive naturalist, and managed a nature center for a state park.  Not only did I witness adults who were not keen to the outdoors, I had children not overjoyed as well.  I was on a crusade to change that situation.  Many times it was one nature loving parent, who tried to inspire a family member to step on over to the other side.  Steps is a good metaphor, as I found small gradual steps, or bites can work a lot better than instant total immersion.  A lot of it can be how far and fast folks can expand their comfort zone, and also many times deal with potential fears/phobias that can go hand-in-hand.

I had visitors who wanted to go boating, but were afraid of the water snakes, go hiking but afraid of ticks...  I found by providing an education to these concerns, and measures to deal with them as with any concern in life, helped alleviate some of the stress.  As for programs I did, that I found were particularly enjoyable to "non-outdoorsy' people were:

Fishing:  Low physical impact to reward ratio, easy participation for all family members.  Never once did I not see an ear-to-ear smile on the face of a person catching their first Bluegill. Never.

Star gazing:  I had a volunteer bring his massive reflector telescope, and guests could see the rings of Saturn, moons of Jupiter, or even the moon at HD.  This stuff is magical, and profoundly binds you with the universe.

Night time owl call ins:  I would have a specialist from the raptor rehab center perform a pre-easy hike talk, them we would venture into the woods, to call in Barred Owls.  We would get single and pairs almost on top of us, doing their incredible calls.  You never heard them fly in, and talk about a magical moment, when these owls would start their 'monkey call'.  I know this experience will live forever with many of the attendees.

Perhaps a nice visit to a local nature center, would be a spark for you husband.       

So many good replies on this thread. Great advice everywhere.

Holyoak's comment made me giggle.  I forget sometimes that your non-outdoor types don't know that calling in barred owls (or many other easy-to-imitate raptors) during breeding season is easier than falling off a log.  Last spring, a couple of grad students regarded me with awe and amazement when I whistled up one of the breeding pairs of gray hawks down in Big Bend in order to verify nesting activity.  Dude, anyone who can whistle loudly can do it!  But of course that WOULD be a magical moment for many people! 

This is a good reminder that maybe I wouldn't get so cynical about humanity if I was around interpretive naturalist groups more often...

Lepetitange3

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #15 on: July 14, 2017, 08:44:50 AM »
You've got some great solutions here to the camping.  But I'm concerned with the last line or two of your question OP.  You feel "trapped and unhappy" ?  This sounds bigger than just camping.

 There's a tendency to think that our unhappiness comes from this one issue or that, but it's almost always a sign of something more pervasive.  There's hints of this in your first portion too, he likes comfort and you like nature.  I can hear the subtext that you think his watching tv and playing on his phone is a waste of time.  I think bigger than the camping issue is you're unhappy and feeling trapped and you have a values disconnect.  That's a marriage and communication issue.  With your kids so young, I'd be working on this first- including counseling if you don't think you can hash it out on your own.

aalferez

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #16 on: July 14, 2017, 09:17:16 AM »
Maybe your husband hates something else about the outdoors.
I don't think people loves being on the phone, why would someone like to talk with someone else instead of his wife and kids?

Well in my case I love being outdoors but I hate the bugs and just being outdoors gets me itchy. Maybe there is some extra reason to why he does not like to be outside.

Does your husband like the water? Beach? Lake? Swimming pool? Golf? there is always a fun sport to do. What is he watching on tv all the time?
If he watches football maybe he would like to go out to the yard or park to throw the ball with you or the kids.
What about a beer on the yard, while the kids play?

Just my 2 cents

Noodle

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #17 on: July 14, 2017, 11:03:41 AM »
Does your DH like the water at all? After spending my first 22 years in a rural area with plenty of camping and outdoor work, I am a healthy appreciator of air-conditioning. But if I have the opportunity to spend time near the ocean, I will happily spend hours outdoors walking on the beach, poking around in tidepools, checking out different views, etc. Otherwise, for challenging adult activities, find a friend...the kids can come along or have Daddy time at home. For vacations as the kids get older, maybe pick a city or comfy accommodations that has easy access to outdoor activities...Seattle or Vancouver for instance. Daddy can stay back at the hotel, or when Mom and kids are having fun together, it may be more tempting to come along.

One thing my parents did was that everyone (parents included) took turns picking activities for the family vacation. Everybody was expected to go along (relatively) cheerfully with each other's picks, since your turn was coming along in a day or two. Maybe your family could do this as the kids get a little older.

Bicycle_B

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #18 on: July 14, 2017, 12:16:09 PM »
My sister is big on consequences. 

Extreme example:  "You can choose some outdoor activity to do with us twice a month, or marital counseling that includes both of us until I no longer feel trapped."  Granted this example assumes that the prior poster's theory about an emotional disconnect is accurate, and invites you to directly address the issue.  But you're perfectly capable of adjusting my foolish template to your own situation.  :)

Lepetitange3

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #19 on: July 14, 2017, 12:19:28 PM »
That's a good script. 

I just think if any one of us were to say this sentence out loud :

"I feel unhappy and trapped because my spouse won't go camping."

That there's more than likely some other things beyond camping going on here.

Carless

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #20 on: July 14, 2017, 08:31:31 PM »
I hate the idea of camping.  I love my comfy house.  I do however greatly enjoy 1-2h nature hikes and so does my SO.  We love taking a picnic, hiking out for a bit, lying on a blanket in a quiet spot and hiking back.  Maybe try stuff like that?  But also, don't be afraid to split up for the day.

Katiekatie

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #21 on: July 15, 2017, 06:48:08 PM »
Hi everyone, thank you for the input and suggestions. Yes it definitely is deeper than just "camping" but I have to make this relationship work for the kids. He's a good father/husband it's just that we have differences. I think the toughest part is the fact the kids are so young. Defiantly by next summer I will be taking some camping trips with the kids with or without husband. If he guilts me about that then it will be a battle that Iam  willing to fight. My son will be 4 and my daughter will be a year and a half so it would be a lot easier I think by then.

Lepetitange3

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #22 on: July 15, 2017, 07:36:11 PM »
Hey - if it's deeper, and you're wanting to make this thing work.  I think nows the time to do that while the kids are too young for solo camping anyway.

boarder42

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #23 on: July 16, 2017, 02:24:25 PM »
Get him to some of the Utah national parks. Breathtaking natural beauty.
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FINate

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #24 on: July 16, 2017, 03:41:25 PM »
I love the outdoors, but DW doesn't enjoy camping or similar activities. We've been married for 16 years and our kids are 6 and 4. I know the feeling you're describing. Hang in there, it will likely get easier as the kids get older.

Young kids are hard, especially an 8 month old. We had a tendency to hunker down at home in those early years. Eventually got DW to agree to some camping by getting a small RV (have since sold it), though she still didn't really enjoy it. Now that the kids are older camping is way easier and less stressful. DW was even onboard with camping for 12 days on a National Parks road trip because it saved a ton of money.

The kids love camping - takes them all of 30 seconds after arriving at the campsite to be covered in dirt :) Getting ready to take them on a camping trip by myself, totally manageable now that they're a bit older. DW is happy to have the quiet time at home.

Camping can be a relatively high commitment depending on how far you have to drive and how much gear you need, which means trips can be few and far between. I need some other everyday activity to fill my outdoors quotient. For me that's mountain biking. I can go for an hour long ride near my house through the redwoods and come back totally refreshed and energized. DW has noticed the dramatic transformation in my mood and now tells me to go on a ride when I get irritable.  So maybe there's some quick and easy outdoor activity you can do on your own more frequently?

tthree

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #25 on: July 17, 2017, 09:12:35 AM »
I need some other everyday activity to fill my outdoors quotient.
YES.  And especially yes with two young kids.  Every time things are going sideways inside Mom declares, "It's time to go outside!"  We are fortunate to live steps from one of the largest urban parks in the world.  We can walk/bike to multiple parks, spray pads, and pools, plus the Science Centre, museum, golf, bird sanctuary, wildlife preserve.  I guess what I am trying to say is you can get outside without the commitment of camping.  Pack a lunch, bring a picnic blanket, and make a day of it.  We do this all the time when DH is at work.

Camping can be a relatively high commitment depending on how far you have to drive and how much gear you need, which means trips can be few and far between.
Also agree.  And driving for hours with an eight month old baby sounds like torture.  OP, if you want to make things easier for yourself with two young kids checkout these https://www.pc.gc.ca/en/voyage-travel/hebergement-accommodation/otentik which are available at many Canadian National Parks.

Fishindude

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #26 on: July 17, 2017, 09:34:34 AM »
A good compromise might be to rent a cabin on a lake somewhere.  Hubby can sit on the deck and play around with his phone or be indoors watching TV while you and the kids can swim, boat, fish, explore, etc.   A cabin also beats heck out of camping if you get a rainy day.

snapperdude

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #27 on: July 17, 2017, 03:32:23 PM »
Defiantly by next summer ...

A very interesting, and perhaps telling, typo. If it is a typo.

Christof

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #28 on: July 17, 2017, 04:04:07 PM »
With regard to camping what is more important to you: That it is close to nature or that it is inexpensive.

If it's nature, there are many hotels that provide lots of luxury but are located in remote locations like on a mountain. There are farms that cater to families who want a bit of luxury, but also experience nature. You could be outside with your kids while your husband is doing.... well, nothing.

Zamboni

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #29 on: July 17, 2017, 04:49:02 PM »
I hope you can find some sort of compromise . . . if he really doesn't want to camp, I agree that going with the older child and letting him have some quality time with the baby might work. Others have had some other good suggestions for compromises where perhaps you can both participate.

It also seems like there might be deeper issues, like some resentment that he doesn't want to do things you always had in your mind you would do "as a family" with you. Writing from personal experience, if that is the case, then I understand where you are coming from. My children's Dad didn't want to camp, swim at the beach, go to the playground, horseback ride, go to museums, etc. I think the thing that burned my shorts the most when the children were little was that he wouldn't take them to the park (ever) or go to any parks or playgrounds with us. The kids wanted to go to the local park frequently and would ask to go. I would ask him to come along, he'd say no, so we'd go without him. I'd then see other couples or Dads there, and it would irk me that he absolutely refused to participate with us in something the children requested and enjoyed so much.  I don't think he went with us to the park more than once per 5 years (we went several times a week). It really bothered me.

He did do other things with us, and he particularly wanted to take them to do the things he likes (sporting events, theater shows, and restaurants were the main things.) I went along with these things often even if I wasn't that interested (Harlem Globetrotters again?) because I wanted to support him and because it's hard to manage two very small children on your own. I guess I just always felt like he wasn't ever providing any quid pro quo by doing a few things the kids and I requested . . . he was only up for what he proposed.

It was symptomatic of the entire relationship, unfortunately, and it never changed. Now the kids are much older and they have figured out that he is only going to do a narrow band of things he wants to do. He's simply not willing to do anything outside of his preferences when they ask him to do it, and he's even going to force them to go along with him for activities they dislike. I've never said anything about it to them, but they have figured it out. I don't know if any of this matches your situation, but this is something for you to consider.

I wish you the best and hope your other half can meet you half way.

Rosy

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #30 on: July 18, 2017, 01:31:11 PM »
Katie - "defiantly" is definitely telling - we defy authority and we defy our parents.
Waiting never solved a thing I can tell you that from experience.
Feeling trapped is the worst.
Talk to friends, family, a counselor, become independent and happy again for your children. Unless you take care of yourself, you are not a good mom to your children. Sometimes life sucks, but think of it as temporary and focus on changing your circumstances.

zoltani

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #31 on: July 18, 2017, 02:01:07 PM »
Hi everyone, thank you for the input and suggestions. Yes it definitely is deeper than just "camping" but I have to make this relationship work for the kids. He's a good father/husband it's just that we have differences. I think the toughest part is the fact the kids are so young. Defiantly by next summer I will be taking some camping trips with the kids with or without husband. If he guilts me about that then it will be a battle that Iam  willing to fight. My son will be 4 and my daughter will be a year and a half so it would be a lot easier I think by then.

What gives you this belief? Plenty of kids do just fine after a divorce. Not recommending it, just don't stay in something that isn't right.

Something is not adding up to me. In the OP you say you are happily married, now you say that the issues are deeper than just camping. Does he often guilt you about things? That is manipulation, we all do it as that's what is used to control us as children, but you can only be manipulated if you let yourself. If that is a common between you two I recommend the book When I Say No I feel Guilty, by Manuel Smith.
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marielle

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #32 on: July 18, 2017, 02:29:39 PM »
Does it necessarily have to be camping or hiking? I like outdoors too but camping isn't exactly my favorite activity ever.

I like going to the Whitewater Center (in Charlotte), do you have something similar near you? They have rock climbing, river kayaking and paddle boarding, whitewater rafting, kayaking, and paddle boarding, ropes courses (my favorite), zip lines, etc. It's a nice place to just hang out by the water without activities too and they also have an air-conditioned restaurant. Concerts and competitions on certain days of the year too. I don't know a single person who doesn't like it even if they aren't outdoorsy, and it's perfect for kids. Season pass is only $200 for the whole year!

Case

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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #33 on: July 19, 2017, 11:22:16 AM »
Hello,

Iam happily in a marriage with 2 young kids. Problem is my husband loves comfort and being home, watching tv, being on cell phone. Me on the other hand, I enjoy nature and I love camping. I would spend all my time in nature if I could.

Any advice? I should probably just get out there on my own with the kids obviously which iv tried to do just a little challenging because my son is 3 and my daughter is only 8 months. I guess I should just wait it out till my youngest is older to be able to do more outdoor things.

Thanks everyone, any input would be appreciated.

Just wanted to add that every time  I mention camping he points out what a waste of money that is but to me it's one of the least inexpensive activities. We live in Canada so we only get about 2-3 months of nice weather. I feel trapped and unhappy. He's a great father and husband otherwise.

You're sending some mixed messages here; unclear whether you are only bothered that he doesn't like outdoor activities, or that it and other things are making you pretty unhappy with him in general.  If the latter, you should consider some honest talks with him and maybe marriage counseling.

If it's just the outdoors stuff, then:
-You should tell him that enjoying the outdoors is really important to you and ask that if on occasion he can try to enjoy it so that you can do it together.  That it would be a relationship supporting activity.  Then ask him if he dislikes it so much you'd be forcing him to do something that would create resent in him.  If so, then I think you need to let him have his space in this area and find friends who can do it with you.

It's good for a couple to have some things in common, but also acceptable (and maybe even good) if they have some things they do separately.  If outdoors activities are really far out of his comfort zone, it is ok, and I wouldn't force him.  This should be a very fixable disagreement; both of you should be able to make compromises.  But from how you type, it sounds like there is more at play here than just him not liking camping.

Case

  • Bristles
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Re: Husband doesn't enjoy outdoors.
« Reply #34 on: July 19, 2017, 11:27:44 AM »
Hello,

Iam happily in a marriage with 2 young kids. Problem is my husband loves comfort and being home, watching tv, being on cell phone. Me on the other hand, I enjoy nature and I love camping. I would spend all my time in nature if I could.

Any advice? I should probably just get out there on my own with the kids obviously which iv tried to do just a little challenging because my son is 3 and my daughter is only 8 months. I guess I should just wait it out till my youngest is older to be able to do more outdoor things.

Thanks everyone, any input would be appreciated.

Just wanted to add that every time  I mention camping he points out what a waste of money that is but to me it's one of the least inexpensive activities. We live in Canada so we only get about 2-3 months of nice weather. I feel trapped and unhappy. He's a great father and husband otherwise.

I also want to point out that a lot of camping/campgrounds, to some people, really sucks.  I love the outdoors, and love to backpack.  But I only like camping under certain circumstances.  Campgrounds are often really shitty; shitty dirty bathrooms/showers (I'd rather not shower!); people cramped into a small lot; RVs and other ridiculous shit trucks playing hokie music with rednecks getting drunk all around you and whiny kids running around like they are on crack.  There is often where little connection with nature.  However, there are some campgrounds that give a lot of space between camp sites, don't allow RVs, have quiet hours, etc...  Under these circumstances, you can enjoy being in nature, enjoy cooking at a campfire, etc...

So, in the event that these things are the cause of hte problem, find a better campground.  But if he just does't like being outside, compromise.