Author Topic: how to go grey gracefully  (Read 18011 times)

SCUBAstache

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #50 on: February 15, 2018, 08:10:34 PM »
I noticed a significant (to me) uptick in my gray hair levels over the past year. I'm almost 33, it feels too soon! I've never dyed my hair and I don't want to start. But I also don't want to have more gray hair than my 51 year old fiance! (he has fountain of youth genes... not fair) I think I'll be OK with a natural transition as long as it doesn't start to be more gray than red before my early (mid?) 40s...

Dicey

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #51 on: February 15, 2018, 09:09:09 PM »
Brother Esau's comment made me chuckle. DH is about three years younger than I am. However, the hair he has left is completely gray, so no one ever thinks I'm older than he is, which does tickle me, I admit. I also cut his hair, which I've never done for anyone but him. Something about the quantity and texture of his hair makes it easy, which surprises me every time, including yesterday. It does save a few bucks, but he likes the fact that it saves so much time. It's easy-peasy. Of course, he doesn't have an elaborate comb-over...

Hadilly

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #52 on: February 15, 2018, 10:10:32 PM »
About a year and a half ago at age 45, I decided I was done coloring. I had a lot of grey around my hairline, so a dye job looked good for about three days. Infuriating!

I had cut and color consultations and then spent a lot of money. Took out as much color as possible, added light streaks, and cut off a lot of hair. I had initially thought I could just dye it all grey, but that just results in another demarcation line of hair/dye. Did it a second time and then let it grow. I havenít looked back. My husband would prefer it blond in all honesty, but I love it. My eyebrows are dark which contrasts with pure white hair around my face. Super striking.

I get a lot of compliments. I much prefer how it looks compared to friends who dye their hair completely. I think my hair had started to look brassy and coarse, now it looks light and soft.

Anyway, 11/10 would recommend going for grey!

I like the examples in this blog post: https://thatsnotmyage.com/beauty-at-every-age/grey-hair-oh-yeah-2/

mspym

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #53 on: February 16, 2018, 12:55:12 AM »
I never had a grey hair until I was 35, by which time I had stopped dying my hair [14->33] so I never went through the skunk stripe phase. I find that the ones I am getting blend pretty well with my natural hair colour so just let them be. My boss used to dye her hair but leave enough grey that she got respect in a seniority-based industry. It also made the eventual decision to let it grey out naturally a bit easier.

Maybe you could get your hairdresser to leave more and more grey each time?

Linda_Norway

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #54 on: February 16, 2018, 02:30:34 AM »
I have wondered about this. I've never colored my hair and wonder what I would do if I tried it once and then just let some gray come out if I didn't like it.

I'd like to say I've never colored my hair because I am gracefully accepting the aging process, but rather it's because I've had so many allergies to many things that I've been deathly afraid of it.

I go to a salon that uses an organic type of dye which is not supposed to be as bad for you, but I still can't bring myself to try it out. So in the meantime I am in my late 40s and I've never dyed my hair. I have a naturally light brown hair color and I've always had naturally blonde highlights. It seems like instead of blonde highlights these days I have a little bit of gray interspersed throughout. Some people notice it and say it actually looks good. I don't know if they're just being polite.

Oh well time keeps going on and I still haven't dyed my hair so I may be one of those women sporting gray hair proudly in a few years. I do love to see women embracing their gray and having stylish haircuts and being in great shape and looking good.

I have also not really coloured my hair. Apart from spaying some "spray blond" in it many, many years ago. My hair is blond, gets platina streaks when I get sunlight on it, but is pretty dark blond without sunlight.

I have seen other blond women with some grey streaks in their blond hair and it tends to blend in with the rest. So I'm hoping my grey hairs will do this as well.

I currently have 1 very prominent grey hair in the front of my forehead. I have at some occasions had a vertical standing 5 cm long grey hair on the top of my head that I pulled out. DH noticed that I am also getting grey hairs just above my ears, which I hadn't even noticed myself at that time.

I have been looking into dying hair, but got scared of the prices and how much maintenance it is. I guess I will just let it grow grey over time. (Age 44)

My MIL went from having short dark (dyed) hair to having half long completely grey hair. I liked her hair better when it was short, because she had such an enormous pile of hair. But the colour doesn't really matter. I think the let it become grey because she had moved to another place in the country than where her best friend was living. And they used to dye each other's hair.

« Last Edit: February 16, 2018, 03:49:25 AM by Linda_Norway »

StarBright

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #55 on: February 16, 2018, 07:02:32 AM »
About a year and a half ago at age 45, I decided I was done coloring. I had a lot of grey around my hairline, so a dye job looked good for about three days. Infuriating!

I had cut and color consultations and then spent a lot of money. Took out as much color as possible, added light streaks, and cut off a lot of hair. I had initially thought I could just dye it all grey, but that just results in another demarcation line of hair/dye. Did it a second time and then let it grow. I havenít looked back. My husband would prefer it blond in all honesty, but I love it. My eyebrows are dark which contrasts with pure white hair around my face. Super striking.

I get a lot of compliments. I much prefer how it looks compared to friends who dye their hair completely. I think my hair had started to look brassy and coarse, now it looks light and soft.

Anyway, 11/10 would recommend going for grey!

I like the examples in this blog post: https://thatsnotmyage.com/beauty-at-every-age/grey-hair-oh-yeah-2/

I think the bolded is really the key thing when it comes to making the decision. I was 33 when my hair person mentioned I'd probably need to start coming in more frequently if I wanted to keep the grey away. I had a one year old and three year old and a husband finishing his PhD and a 50 hour a week job. Getting color every 8-12 weeks was hard enough but 4-6 weeks was just not going to happen.

It took about two years to grow mine all out but I have long 100% virgin hair now. I can also see how the gray has really start accelerating in the last year when I hold up the ends to the roots.

That link is awesome and I hope my hair looks like Roisin O'Connor's in 5 years!!!!

Also once hair goes grey, skin care becomes even more important. I am super diligent about skincare now.

CestMoi

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #56 on: February 16, 2018, 01:38:23 PM »
What color is your (dyed) hair? If it's any shade of brown, realize that lightening it (entire head or highlights) can turn it some shade of orange if it's not lightened to the color of the inside of a banana peel. Of course, that kind of lightening can damage the hair, so be careful when you lighten. Do it gradually. You may need to do a color remover first, if you have dyed your hair very recently. And use a good toner (Wella Color Charm T14) to reduce the orange tones once lightened, T18 to reduce too much yellow if you get your hair to a high level.

I recently did your 1st option. I naturally have dark brown hair, and for years I was covering my white/grey with dark brown dye. I got tired of looking like a skunk all the time, so I gradually lightened my hair (both all over and added highlights) to blend the white in more. It worked, but I was surprised how much maintenance it was, redoing the highlights on new growth when they grew out, then using toner to reduce orange.

It might be less work to lighten your entire head, tone it, and then let your white/grey grow in, adding a few highlights here and there just to help disguise the demarcation line when your white/grey grows in. If you manage to match the color of your virgin hair with the lightening (easier with white hair than with grey. Grey hair is a difficult color to achieve on purpose), you may not need to bother with highlights.
« Last Edit: February 16, 2018, 02:09:20 PM by CestMoi »

couponvan

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #57 on: February 16, 2018, 02:27:31 PM »
My hubby just started covering his grey with that hair care for men shampoo for greys with conditioner in it.  He's a really dark brown and his greys are white.  He actually only does about 75% of his greys and I swear he has better hair looks than I ever get at the hair salon.  He uses it once or twice a week now for maintenance and achieves the highlighted look. He was getting too gray and wants to keep a youthful appearance at work but still have some grey so it doesn't look too fake.

I started experimenting with John Frieda's cool brown toner after seeing his results.  Using it, I've been able to extend my hair visits by a couple weeks without using powders. I have highlights and lowlights, and I actually like the toner version better than the "salon" fresh look, but I only have greys in the front (not all over).

Mtngrl

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #58 on: February 17, 2018, 01:06:02 PM »
I started going gray in my early 30s and colored my hair for 25 years -- first bleach blond, then red for the past 18 years. But for the last few years the roots are coming in bright white and I got tired of the battle to cover the roots. I didn't want to cut my hair (It's just past my shoulders) and I didn't want to live with the combination of white skunk stripe and faded red. So I took the red out with a box of extra-strength Color Oops, then used a boxed color to bring the hair to a very pale blond. The top two inches are platinum, which gradually transitions to a pale blonde. The white growing in matches the platinum, so eventually it will all be platinum. My hair was in good shape before I did this and I conditioned the heck out of it throughout the transition process. It was a drastic step, but I'm happy with the result.

I'm a red panda

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #59 on: February 17, 2018, 02:44:48 PM »
I'd go have it professionally dyed gray. If done properly, bleaching won't destroy your hair. And has it grows out, you can trim of the bleached parts.

I know a number of women who have done this. Plus gray was super trendy for awhile...

I just went with pink hair. It covers they gray well. Bleaching it at home has messed it up, but it was lovely when I had it done professionally.

freya

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #60 on: February 18, 2018, 07:14:33 AM »
I'm nervous about making a drastic change in hair color...not worried about friend/family reaction but my toxic workplace environment will make for an unpleasant time I am sure.

The idea of either having gray highlights put in to match what's growing out, or letting hair grow out with a demipermanent color then using it to apply reverse highlights, is very appealing. Here's an article about the first method - the transition shown is nicely understated and the result, IMHO, is lovely!  Of course, the $500 price tag is a bit much, but I imagine it could be done for less $$.

http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/beauty/hair/a46081/transitioning-from-color-to-gray-hair/

This is assuming that demipermanent color means not permanent.  I'm trying Wella color charm to see if that will fade.  I had thought henna wasn't permanent, but I just tried to take out it using the overnight oil treatment method.  The heavy coating came off, but the color didn't change at all.


melanie2008

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #61 on: February 19, 2018, 04:24:24 PM »
I am 41 and I like maybe 30% grey? I don't know really, but I dread have the skunk stripe and I know it is going to get worse so I am thinking of going grey/stopping coloring now rather than later so the change is less drastic. I guess I worry since I still feel and think I look young. My hair is also almost black/very dark brown with white grey hairs so they don't really blend in. I am jealous of all the blonds who are going grey! I am thinking of having low lights done to help the transition.

bluebelle

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #62 on: February 20, 2018, 08:01:36 AM »
I've made the first step.....had the hair dresser put in some grey steaks in when she cut and coloured my hair yesterday.....I think she thought I'd hate it, she only put in a few streaks in around my face.....I love it!  She did a semi perm grey, and she did a darker grey than I would have (I would have done white!), but I think she thought I'd freak about it.....and since it's a semi perm colour, she stressed that if I didn't like it, we could easily go back to my auburn shade.....not sure what it will look like at the 6 week mark (since it's essentially bleached white, I may get my 'white'). 

I have shoulder to medium length hair, and I'm not ready to cut my hair short (with the prospect of growing it out -curly hair tends to turn into a fuzz ball at that grow out length, at least that's what I remember)

I'm a red panda

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #63 on: February 20, 2018, 08:43:21 AM »
@bluebelle I have super curly hair, and I cut mine very short, then grow it out for 2 years before the next cut.  A good stylist should be able to give you a short cut that will grow out if you tell them that is your intention.  (For me the secret is the back has to be cut shorter than the front, as it seems to grow faster and I otherwise end up with a mullet.)  But if you don't want to go short, I think dyeing in gray streaks is really the way to go.

bluebelle

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #64 on: February 20, 2018, 10:31:20 AM »
@bluebelle I have super curly hair, and I cut mine very short, then grow it out for 2 years before the next cut.  A good stylist should be able to give you a short cut that will grow out if you tell them that is your intention.  (For me the secret is the back has to be cut shorter than the front, as it seems to grow faster and I otherwise end up with a mullet.)  But if you don't want to go short, I think dyeing in gray streaks is really the way to go.
and truth be told, my hair hasn't been short in 30 years.....there are fantastic hair care products now that just didn't exsist back then....I'm sure I could tame the frizz now, where I couldn't back then.  I think I just don't want short hair just yet. 

freya

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #65 on: February 20, 2018, 05:24:51 PM »
Out of curiosity, what are those fantastic hair products that tame frizz?

I can't even count the number of expensive anti-frizz products I've bought over the years.  Not a single one of them has ever made the slightest bit of difference.   The best solution I've found is to rub a bit of coconut oil into my hair, sleep on it overnight with a towel on my pillow, then wash it out in the morning.  A mixture of coconut oil, honey, and amla powder left in for 2 hours works even better.  The key is to use only a tiny bit of coconut oil so that you don't have to shampoo repeatedly to get it out.  If there's a new magic product out there, though, I'd like to know about it.

frompa

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #66 on: February 20, 2018, 06:11:04 PM »
This is an interesting topic to read about, as I just spent the weekend with my two sisters who, like me, started going grey in their early 20s.  I never dyed my hair, and it is now nearly completely silver.  Both of them did do the dye, and continue to, though one is working hard on the transition to dye-free since she retired last August.  Though we all three have dark coloring, she's going the blond-ish highlights route, and then will let the grey take over.

I have always had people compliment me on the color of my hair, even now that it is mostly all silver.  In fact, the only person who criticized my decision to not dye was a hair stylist who utterly harassed me because I refused to let him color my hair; after one harassment too many, I found someone else to cut my hair.  That was many years ago and he was an outlier. 

I am surprised at how much is out there about this transition from dyed to natural color.  I especially appreciated the pictures of the women with really short hair -- that is a look that really rocks, especially when the silver is spiked.  I was trying to convince my transitioning sister to just go super short (she has shoulder length) and when she finally asked me (in exasperation), "Why are you pushing me to get a crew cut?" I realized that that I myself would really love that look, as it would work so very well in the hot summer months when I bike everywhere.  So... thanks for the inspiration.  Summer is just around the corner, give or take five months.  !!

nlsquared

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #67 on: February 21, 2018, 04:26:35 AM »
I am surprised at how much is out there about this transition from dyed to natural color.  I especially appreciated the pictures of the women with really short hair -- that is a look that really rocks, especially when the silver is spiked.  I was trying to convince my transitioning sister to just go super short (she has shoulder length) and when she finally asked me (in exasperation), "Why are you pushing me to get a crew cut?" I realized that that I myself would really love that look, as it would work so very well in the hot summer months when I bike everywhere.  So... thanks for the inspiration.  Summer is just around the corner, give or take five months.  !!

Have also been following this topic with interest even though I do my own color, so not as $$ as the salon. I too would love a short, spiky silver cut, but I don't think my fine textured hair would support it.

I had a coworker that made the transition to silver this way and I thought it looked fantastic!  After a trip to visit same generation cousins that still colored, she felt she looked "old," grew her hair out, and started coloring again.  We weren't "close" enough for me to tell her what a mistake she'd made, her short, spiky 'do looked so much better on her!

Trifele

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #68 on: February 21, 2018, 05:55:19 AM »
I am surprised at how much is out there about this transition from dyed to natural color.  I especially appreciated the pictures of the women with really short hair -- that is a look that really rocks, especially when the silver is spiked.  I was trying to convince my transitioning sister to just go super short (she has shoulder length) and when she finally asked me (in exasperation), "Why are you pushing me to get a crew cut?" I realized that that I myself would really love that look, as it would work so very well in the hot summer months when I bike everywhere.  So... thanks for the inspiration.  Summer is just around the corner, give or take five months.  !!

Have also been following this topic with interest even though I do my own color, so not as $$ as the salon. I too would love a short, spiky silver cut, but I don't think my fine textured hair would support it.

Short and spiky looks awesome, but another great look is the short silver pixie.  That can work for even very fine hair.  In fact, I wish I could do a pixie, but my hair is too unruly.

I'm a red panda

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #69 on: February 21, 2018, 06:15:08 AM »
Out of curiosity, what are those fantastic hair products that tame frizz?

I can't even count the number of expensive anti-frizz products I've bought over the years.  Not a single one of them has ever made the slightest bit of difference.   The best solution I've found is to rub a bit of coconut oil into my hair, sleep on it overnight with a towel on my pillow, then wash it out in the morning.  A mixture of coconut oil, honey, and amla powder left in for 2 hours works even better.  The key is to use only a tiny bit of coconut oil so that you don't have to shampoo repeatedly to get it out.  If there's a new magic product out there, though, I'd like to know about it.

For me, the secret is to keep my hair short (my long hair frizzes like insanity), use no sulfate shampoo + condition once a week, and a no-sulfate conditioner only wash if I have to wash my hair another time during the week (I don't usually). Do an apple cider vinegar rinse once or twice a month, and don't use terry cloth towels- but use t-shirt material instead.  I actually just use cheap gel.

Bingeworker

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #70 on: February 21, 2018, 10:20:14 AM »
I stopped dyeing around 5 years ago, around age 46.  I had dark brown hair, dyeing to match original colour as much as possible.

I did the cold turkey method.  It was only really bad for a couple of weeks, around week 3-5 (I had fast growing hair, so my skunk stripe would start to appear only a couple of weeks after dyeing, and I would have to dye every 3 weeks).

Dye fades relatively fast, so while my grey was growing out, the rest of my (long) hair was fading to a light brown and then kind of off-blonde colour.  You could definitely see what I was up to, but that's what made it bearable, that I didn't look unkempt or dishevelled after week 5 or so.  I was just obviously transitioning to natural, and several strangers complimented me on the new colour.  After a couple of months the tone of the dyed and undyed hair more or less matched, although the bottom was blondeish and the top my new fabulous rockin' grey.

I did it this way because it was the fastest and least damaging way to get to pure natural hair.  I researched quite a bit before doing it, and other methods looked expensive, unreliable, and risked putting me back at square 1.  I probably would have cut it short to speed things along if I was single, but my husband strongly wanted me to keep it long, so I did.

Good luck to anyone taking the grey plunge, grey hair is amazing and I don't regret it, although I do look older.  And in the frugal realm, I started getting occasional unsolicited seniors discounts at stores!  (I don't look that old, but if teens are working then everyone over 30 looks old, and if we have grey hair, automatic grandma status!  :-D  )

pachnik

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #71 on: February 21, 2018, 11:26:12 AM »
Re: going grey and senior's discounts.   I went into the drugstore on seniors' day which is 55 and up.  And got asked if I was 55.  The clerk was a woman probably about my own age and said she just wanted to be sure everyone got their discount.  :)   I didn't mind at all and in fact, this has opened up a whole new area of frugality for me. 

I know I look older with it too but I am in my mid-50's anyway. So I am older.   My bangs are pretty much grey/silver and the rest of my hair is darkish brown with a little bit of grey.  Actually this morning I had to stop at the grocery store on the way to work to pick up some buns and the clerk complimented my hair. 

bluebelle

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #72 on: February 21, 2018, 11:34:18 AM »
Out of curiosity, what are those fantastic hair products that tame frizz?

I can't even count the number of expensive anti-frizz products I've bought over the years.  Not a single one of them has ever made the slightest bit of difference.   The best solution I've found is to rub a bit of coconut oil into my hair, sleep on it overnight with a towel on my pillow, then wash it out in the morning.  A mixture of coconut oil, honey, and amla powder left in for 2 hours works even better.  The key is to use only a tiny bit of coconut oil so that you don't have to shampoo repeatedly to get it out.  If there's a new magic product out there, though, I'd like to know about it.
I've had good luck with Marc Anthony Curl Envy and air drying


frontstepdesign

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #73 on: February 21, 2018, 11:36:42 AM »
Here I go again, proposing the counter-intuitive...I'm deliberately going gray ungracefully. Skunk stripe and all.

I got tired of <-- that bob after having it the last five years, and at the first haircut appointment to reverse the angle and put in layers, the stylist picked up half my hair to reveal a giant gray patch on one side.  As if I'd been exposed to radiation a la Marvel comics!  I freaked out, and we did allover color later that day. KA-CHING!  (For the guys following along, >$120 /6weeks)

I hated it.  I missed all the subtle variation of color I had before the dye job.  I researched DIY dye, and got a decent result with boxes ($10 /6weeks), but then I ran into an interesting viewpoint via Pinterest research:

Why are we making ourselves invisible, as experienced, knowledgeable women of a certain age?  Why are we pretending to be younger?  I haven't found an advantage in being younger - at work I don't get credit for my experience and knowledge because I don't look like I have 20+ years in the workplace.  I'm fit and take some trouble to be stylish, so it's not being passed over by customer service, etc.  I'm not dating, and even if I was - I get far too many 'dirty old man' lines as it is...I'd really prefer to STOP attracting the cradle robber element.

I started finding lots of 'balayage' and 'ombre' pics of women growing their dye color out with gray roots, and there's a movement going on, of people who are gutsy enough to Just Stop Dyeing.  I think of myself as someone who is personally brave, and I decided that I wanted to advertise that, in my hair.  And also that I reject spending $120+ / 6 weeks to live up to anyone else's expectation.

SwordGuy

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #74 on: February 21, 2018, 04:29:52 PM »
I grey one day at a time.  It's the frugal way. :)

Dicey

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #75 on: February 21, 2018, 09:58:00 PM »
I don't wear makeup. A really formal event might call for tinted moisturizer, mascara, and lipstick. Otherwise, it's au natural for this former major cosmetics company sales rep. What is kinda wierding me out is the other gray that's  appearing. Eyebrows, eyelashes, and points further um, south. What the hell?

katscratch

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #76 on: February 22, 2018, 01:59:00 PM »
Yeah the southern grey ladies are the only ones that catch me by surprise!

grilledcheese

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #77 on: February 23, 2018, 09:46:19 AM »
I would do the streaks, so your growing out period is more subtle.

I dye my hair. I used to get away with pulling out the odd white hair along my part line, but it's past that point now. So instead, I do an overall box dye once every few months, and do touch ups to conceal roots.

I actually like the look of all over grey and have one friend who did this and she looks fantastic. I have naturally dark dark brown/black hair, with white, white hairs scattered through out. I have yet to see anyone with my hair combo grown out. It's mostly just beautiful greys, or if it's white hair, it's usually a whole head of white hair which I think looks good too. I'm in the awkward beginning stages, so I don't feel confident in growing it all out. Someday!

bluebelle

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #78 on: March 06, 2018, 07:46:19 AM »
more incentive to get to the all over grey/white....two weeks after the last colour and the white roots are quite visable (to me at least)

I'm so over colouring my hair.......I like the few streaks of grey the hair stylist put in last time.....next time, I want alot more....although the bleaching process to get the colour out of the colour treated hair was hard on my hair.

pachnik

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #79 on: March 06, 2018, 08:02:13 AM »
more incentive to get to the all over grey/white....two weeks after the last colour and the white roots are quite visable (to me at least)

I'm so over colouring my hair.......I like the few streaks of grey the hair stylist put in last time.....next time, I want alot more....although the bleaching process to get the colour out of the colour treated hair was hard on my hair.

I used to see my grey/white roots 3 weeks after a hair colouring.  I am really glad I stopped dying it.

Dicey

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #80 on: March 06, 2018, 08:29:03 AM »
Yeah the southern grey ladies are the only ones that catch me by surprise!
Oh, thanks for that chuckle! Good to know I'm not alone.

Candace

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #81 on: March 06, 2018, 09:22:47 AM »
I don't wear makeup. A really formal event might call for tinted moisturizer, mascara, and lipstick. Otherwise, it's au natural for this former major cosmetics company sales rep. What is kinda wierding me out is the other gray that's  appearing. Eyebrows, eyelashes, and points further um, south. What the hell?
There was a whole Sex and the City episode about that. At least some parts of my body, I can shave.

What?! I was talking about my legs. Not. Okay, my legs also.

Imma

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #82 on: March 06, 2018, 04:29:23 PM »
Out of curiosity, what are those fantastic hair products that tame frizz?

I can't even count the number of expensive anti-frizz products I've bought over the years.  Not a single one of them has ever made the slightest bit of difference.   The best solution I've found is to rub a bit of coconut oil into my hair, sleep on it overnight with a towel on my pillow, then wash it out in the morning.  A mixture of coconut oil, honey, and amla powder left in for 2 hours works even better.  The key is to use only a tiny bit of coconut oil so that you don't have to shampoo repeatedly to get it out.  If there's a new magic product out there, though, I'd like to know about it.
I've had good luck with Marc Anthony Curl Envy and air drying

I air dry my hair with a towel draped around my shoulders. Rubbing it dry makes it worse. I also use John Frieda ant-frizz products for more formal events, but I can't be bothered using all these products every day.

Women in my family go grey very young (around 20) but I'm late 20s and so far I haven't noticed any grey hairs myself. Then again, I'm blonde, so they might just blend in very well. My mother used to dye her hair dark brown. She's nearly 60 now and has dyed her hair for decades. She is slowly going from dark brown to blonde, choosing a slightly lighter colour every time she goes to the hairdresser. She's blonde now and her roots are blending in pretty well. I think she needs a bit more time to get used to going completely grey, but she only needs to dye every few months now instead of every couple of weeks.  I do feel her current look ages her a bit, but I'm not sure that's because of the grey. I think blonde is just not her colour.

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #83 on: March 23, 2018, 12:30:10 AM »
I transitioned to grey three years ago aged 42. At the time I was a consultant rather than an employee. I have naturally mousy hair which was dyed blonde and cut short which I i noticed was looking strawlike and was making my relatively pale skin look chalky.

It kind of happened by neglect in that i simply did not get a hair cut for about 2 years from the end of 2014. The dyed ends grew long and the mousy bit grew very long and increasingly grey. For job interviews I wore it up and used a brown rinse (which stained the hair but mostly washed out).

Now it is very healthy and cut in a bob and increasingly silver. I love it and I think I timed it well as any later I would have quite a grey stripe to grow out. I notice naturally silver hair on others with appreciation.

There is literally nothing about dyeing my hair that I miss. The way it looks (worse), the expense (grey is THE Mustachian option: queue here for your facepunches if you wish to argue otherwise), the time, the lack of authenticity, the condition of the hair itself, the stained scalp ... 


Linda_Norway

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #84 on: March 23, 2018, 01:08:54 AM »
I transitioned to grey three years ago aged 42. At the time I was a consultant rather than an employee. I have naturally mousy hair which was dyed blonde and cut short which I i noticed was looking strawlike and was making my relatively pale skin look chalky.

It kind of happened by neglect in that i simply did not get a hair cut for about 2 years from the end of 2014. The dyed ends grew long and the mousy bit grew very long and increasingly grey. For job interviews I wore it up and used a brown rinse (which stained the hair but mostly washed out).

Now it is very healthy and cut in a bob and increasingly silver. I love it and I think I timed it well as any later I would have quite a grey stripe to grow out. I notice naturally silver hair on others with appreciation.

Good for you! We have a lady living in our street who also has beautiful grey hair and wears is very proudly.

There is literally nothing about dyeing my hair that I miss. The way it looks (worse), the expense (grey is THE Mustachian option: queue here for your facepunches if you wish to argue otherwise), the time, the lack of authenticity, the condition of the hair itself, the stained scalp ...

I can relate. I used to perm my hair when I was a teenager and in early 20ies. My hair became so much healthier when I stopped putting those chemicals into it.

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #85 on: March 23, 2018, 07:34:56 AM »
Out of curiosity, what are those fantastic hair products that tame frizz?

I can't even count the number of expensive anti-frizz products I've bought over the years.  Not a single one of them has ever made the slightest bit of difference.   The best solution I've found is to rub a bit of coconut oil into my hair, sleep on it overnight with a towel on my pillow, then wash it out in the morning.  A mixture of coconut oil, honey, and amla powder left in for 2 hours works even better.  The key is to use only a tiny bit of coconut oil so that you don't have to shampoo repeatedly to get it out.  If there's a new magic product out there, though, I'd like to know about it.

I just got a sample of Verb Ghost Oil and a teeny tiny bit tames my frizz beautifully.  I expect the sample to last a couple of months so a full size would probably last half a year.

https://www.sephora.com/product/ghost-oil-P399992?skuId=1728351&icid2=products%20grid:p399992

FWIW - I have fine hair that was pin straight until it started to go grey. Now the brown part is still pin straight but the grey is kinky and frizzy. Not sure how the oil would work on super curly hair.

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #86 on: March 23, 2018, 10:56:23 AM »
I stopped coloring cold turkey 11 months ago and itís just now 100% gone. I didnít do it gracefully at all, just quit coloring. I feel like it looked bad for about two months but after that the color was fading on itís own and it wasnít so obvious.  I have thick hair, it grows fast and I keep it short so that helped. I stopped partly because I wanted to see what my natural color looked like but mostly for money.  There was a chance Iíd be divorcing soon and I needed to watch my spending, It was about 140$ every 6 weeks and even that wasnít enough to keep it looking good. I started looking at other womenís hair and by far I felt those with their natural color looked better. Seemed like everyone else had the stripes on their head and needed a touch up.

I really like how it looks now. I told my Daughter to please tell me if it makes me look bad. She likes it just fine. Iím not all silver or white yet, itís a mix of silver, brown and white.  More white near my face but itís all nice and soft and I like that.

Now I get it cut monthly for 35$ and every two weeks my stylist gives me a free trim. Thatís more often than before when I colored and it feels good all the time. Hate hair on my neck or when itís heavy on top. 

Yeah I think it makes me look older but it doesnít look bad. Maybe someday Iíll try it again but not while I have cc debt.


Oh and grey, silvery hair looks fantastic with pink lipstick!

geekette

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #87 on: March 23, 2018, 01:02:10 PM »
I swear, quitting color is like quitting cigarettes. Some people are fine cold turkry, some use transitional help, and some try, go back to color, and try again.

Iím in the latter two so far. I tried highlights, which imho looked awful on me and made my hair feel like straw, so I went back to regular color. This time Iím trying a semi permanent color, which should fade. I hope it will allow me to fade on my natural hair color, which isnít far off, but thereís some gray in there.

Anyone try the semi permanent route?  Am I just wasting my time?  I wish I could go back to my 20 year old self and not ever start, but Iíve always disliked my natural color, have fine, straight, do nothing hair (even permanents wonít curl it) and felt better with a red tint. <sigh>

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #88 on: March 23, 2018, 01:14:06 PM »
At 50, I went cold turkey. I had a streak of white in high school and started dying my hair in college. In my 40s I had to dye it every 4 weeks. I got sick of it. I just stopped dying it and wore a hate for about 3 week when the part was obvious. Then I went to my stylist and said, "Cut everything that isn't grey". It was super short, and I LOVED IT! Now its medium short, but I still love it. NO MORE DYING FOR ME! I have very white hair in front and it goes more to steel grey in the back.

For frizz, I air dry with a heavy gel, LA LOOKS. It's cheap, once it dries I just comb it out and it is fine. YMMV.

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #89 on: March 27, 2018, 05:32:27 PM »
Oh man, I feel so embarrassed, because I think I am the only one, but I *PLUCK* every single grey hair out!  I'm 40 now and remember noticing a grey hair or two before 30 and plucked it out right away, and I guess I just never quit doing that!  Every once in a while I miss one and it gets two or three inches long, but I mostly find them before 1 inch in length as I spend about 5-10 minutes hunting every week or two. 

Reading this thread has made me realize how much worse I probably made it for myself for the point at which my hairdresser assures me is coming, when I just won't be able to keep up anymore.  I'm nowhere near that now, but I realize I should never have plucked - having them come in gradually over time would have been much better!  Now, if I stop, I'll have many strands growing out at once together and suddenly instead.  That will look weird. 

Wow, not only did I not realize I was so unusual in plucking grey hairs out for the a decade+ but I definitely didn't realize exactly why I might regret it.

I've got to give some serious consideration to stopping now, ASAP.  OTOH, I have a touch of the trichotillomania, I think, and I just really love plucking things.  So satisfying!  So I'll miss it in more ways than one. 

Linda_Norway

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #90 on: March 30, 2018, 01:45:35 AM »
Oh man, I feel so embarrassed, because I think I am the only one, but I *PLUCK* every single grey hair out!  I'm 40 now and remember noticing a grey hair or two before 30 and plucked it out right away, and I guess I just never quit doing that!  Every once in a while I miss one and it gets two or three inches long, but I mostly find them before 1 inch in length as I spend about 5-10 minutes hunting every week or two. 

Reading this thread has made me realize how much worse I probably made it for myself for the point at which my hairdresser assures me is coming, when I just won't be able to keep up anymore.  I'm nowhere near that now, but I realize I should never have plucked - having them come in gradually over time would have been much better!  Now, if I stop, I'll have many strands growing out at once together and suddenly instead.  That will look weird. 

Wow, not only did I not realize I was so unusual in plucking grey hairs out for the a decade+ but I definitely didn't realize exactly why I might regret it.

I've got to give some serious consideration to stopping now, ASAP.  OTOH, I have a touch of the trichotillomania, I think, and I just really love plucking things.  So satisfying!  So I'll miss it in more ways than one.

Why don't you from now on pluck fewer and fewer hairs. So you will have a gradual introduction of grey hairs and you can pluck. On the other hand, it is much better to quit an annoying habit all the same.

Lmoot

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #91 on: March 30, 2018, 06:14:16 AM »
What about ombrť dying? I decided not to dye my hair anymore in my early 20ís. Now approaching mid 30ís, I have a frame of silver strands around my face....the wiry kind. My hair is dark and curly.


Anyway, what made me decide not to dye my hair was seeing an older woman with long dreadlocks when I was in college. The colors transitioning from dark brown at the bottom, , to medium brown, reddish/light brown, grey-brown, grey, white...was so beautiful. It looked like aged wood. I believe it was all her natural hair color (dreads often holds hair for decades past, since the strands donít fall out). It was like witnessing her history...her brown 20ís, her sun-faded 30ís, greying 40ís etc. But I imagine you could replicate it with a talented colorist. Then you donít have to color anymore. Youíd be on-trend, and the grey/white coming in at the roots will just be another layer of the ďrainbowĒ.
« Last Edit: March 30, 2018, 06:18:49 AM by Lmoot »

pachnik

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #92 on: March 30, 2018, 06:43:44 AM »
What about ombrť dying? I decided not to dye my hair anymore in my early 20ís. Now approaching mid 30ís, I have a frame of silver strands around my face....the wiry kind. My hair is dark and curly.


Anyway, what made me decide not to dye my hair was seeing an older woman with long dreadlocks when I was in college. The colors transitioning from dark brown at the bottom, , to medium brown, reddish/light brown, grey-brown, grey, white...was so beautiful. It looked like aged wood. I believe it was all her natural hair color (dreads often holds hair for decades past, since the strands donít fall out). It was like witnessing her history...her brown 20ís, her sun-faded 30ís, greying 40ís etc. But I imagine you could replicate it with a talented colorist. Then you donít have to color anymore. Youíd be on-trend, and the grey/white coming in at the roots will just be another layer of the ďrainbowĒ.

I have a friend who's a few years older than me who has hair similar to this.  But hers is straight - like a horse's mane.  I also think is very beautiful - like aging cedar - brown to grey/silver in amongst the brown.    She was one of my inspirations to stop colouring my hair and mine though it is shorter is a bit like cedar changing into silver.

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #93 on: March 31, 2018, 12:28:03 AM »
I stopped dying my hair a few years before my first grey [34!] and I am increasingly grateful that I decided to leave them, they seem to blend in more with my natural colour than they would with grown-out roots. My only gripe is they are wavy and stick out from my dead straight hair, like cartoon Crazy Hair. Hopefully they settle down at some point. 

Padonak

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #94 on: March 31, 2018, 02:30:22 PM »
My hubby just started covering his grey with that hair care for men shampoo for greys with conditioner in it.  He's a really dark brown and his greys are white.  He actually only does about 75% of his greys and I swear he has better hair looks than I ever get at the hair salon.  He uses it once or twice a week now for maintenance and achieves the highlighted look. He was getting too gray and wants to keep a youthful appearance at work but still have some grey so it doesn't look too fake.


Great post. I bought this shampoo on amazon after reading it (Just For Men Control GX Grey Reducing Shampoo).

I've had a little bit of gray hair since mid 20s, more in my 30s. I have been using a little bit of this shampoo every day for about a month. I have a lot less gray hair now, but it doesn't get rid of it completely which is not what i want anyway.

If you buy the shampoo, use your palms, not fingers, to apply it, because it may stain your nails over time if you use the fingers. I used palms from the beginning as per instructions.

Edit: Check out reviews on Amazon before buying. Some reviews have honest before and after pictures so you know what to expect. Some reviews also claim that the shampoo stains shower curtains, pillows, shower walls etc. I see some dark spots on my shower curtain, but it's like less than 2 bucks, so i can change it every month. Pillows? Didn't notice anything yet, I use the shampoo in the morning, so maybe dry hair doesnt color it. Shower walls? I haven't noticed yet. I don't own the place anyway so don't care.
« Last Edit: March 31, 2018, 02:39:12 PM by Padonak »

couponvan

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #95 on: April 02, 2018, 05:20:45 PM »
My hubby just started covering his grey with that hair care for men shampoo for greys with conditioner in it.  He's a really dark brown and his greys are white.  He actually only does about 75% of his greys and I swear he has better hair looks than I ever get at the hair salon.  He uses it once or twice a week now for maintenance and achieves the highlighted look. He was getting too gray and wants to keep a youthful appearance at work but still have some grey so it doesn't look too fake.


Great post. I bought this shampoo on amazon after reading it (Just For Men Control GX Grey Reducing Shampoo).

I've had a little bit of gray hair since mid 20s, more in my 30s. I have been using a little bit of this shampoo every day for about a month. I have a lot less gray hair now, but it doesn't get rid of it completely which is not what i want anyway.

If you buy the shampoo, use your palms, not fingers, to apply it, because it may stain your nails over time if you use the fingers. I used palms from the beginning as per instructions.

Edit: Check out reviews on Amazon before buying. Some reviews have honest before and after pictures so you know what to expect. Some reviews also claim that the shampoo stains shower curtains, pillows, shower walls etc. I see some dark spots on my shower curtain, but it's like less than 2 bucks, so i can change it every month. Pillows? Didn't notice anything yet, I use the shampoo in the morning, so maybe dry hair doesnt color it. Shower walls? I haven't noticed yet. I don't own the place anyway so don't care.

DH has been using for a longer time now and does a "sugar scrub" after applying the shampoo. He must use his palms because I haven't seen any issues with nails - he does keep his nails short.  Also adding I have a ceramic tile and glass door shower and have zero issues with staining. Glad it worked for you. I'm slowly letting myself go grey - had my hair low lighted more than high lighted. Next visit will be just some low lights and nothing in the front at all (where I have greys).  They are "wiry" and I don't know if they're new and short, or just grey and won't grow out ever.  Hoping it's just new ones that will grow and not short ones that mean I need an old lady short hairdo later in life.

pbkmaine

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #96 on: April 02, 2018, 08:43:33 PM »
I used to highlight my own hair, which is naturally light ash brown with grey streaks. I made a tragic miscalculation a couple of years ago and ended up with orange streaks. Then I dyed the whole mess light ash brown, which turned red, not ash, on me. After living with a weird hair color for a while, I finally went to a hairdresser who put in ash brown lowlights and ash blonde highlights with foil. So much better. No skunk line. I plan to stick with the blonde and brown and grey mix for the foreseeable future.

chaskavitch

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #97 on: April 03, 2018, 06:17:29 AM »
I don't have anything else to add right now except I love your signature @couponvan  :)  @Bracken_Joy always seems to have interesting things to say.

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #98 on: April 03, 2018, 08:10:41 AM »
I don't have anything else to add right now except I love your signature @couponvan  :)  @Bracken_Joy always seems to have interesting things to say.

Awww thank you for tagging me =) That was a happy thing to wake up to.

I'm still tickled when I notice Coup's signature!

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #99 on: April 03, 2018, 12:27:26 PM »
Oh man, I feel so embarrassed, because I think I am the only one, but I *PLUCK* every single grey hair out!  I'm 40 now and remember noticing a grey hair or two before 30 and plucked it out right away, and I guess I just never quit doing that!  Every once in a while I miss one and it gets two or three inches long, but I mostly find them before 1 inch in length as I spend about 5-10 minutes hunting every week or two. 

Reading this thread has made me realize how much worse I probably made it for myself for the point at which my hairdresser assures me is coming, when I just won't be able to keep up anymore.  I'm nowhere near that now, but I realize I should never have plucked - having them come in gradually over time would have been much better!  Now, if I stop, I'll have many strands growing out at once together and suddenly instead.  That will look weird. 

Wow, not only did I not realize I was so unusual in plucking grey hairs out for the a decade+ but I definitely didn't realize exactly why I might regret it.

I've got to give some serious consideration to stopping now, ASAP.  OTOH, I have a touch of the trichotillomania, I think, and I just really love plucking things.  So satisfying!  So I'll miss it in more ways than one.

Why don't you from now on pluck fewer and fewer hairs. So you will have a gradual introduction of grey hairs and you can pluck. On the other hand, it is much better to quit an annoying habit all the same.

New habit started.  I ONLY plucked a few hairs directly in my part last night, and left a few others I saw.  We'll see how this goes.  I think this gradual approach will be good, as I'll be more comfortable with more gray when I retire in just over 10 months.  Right now, with so many peers so much younger than me, it feels harder.  I hate to be so vain, but I look forward to retirement helping me get free from some of that!