Author Topic: how to go grey gracefully  (Read 21866 times)

StarBright

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1035
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #150 on: July 18, 2018, 08:07:43 AM »

3) people aren't very observant - folks are putting me 10-15 years older than I am, whereas folks put me 10-15 years younger than I am when I coloured my hair - pretty sure that my face hasn't aged 20-30 years in the last 6 months! 


Related to your number 3) - When I was out shopping last month a cashier said "Do you have an aarp . . .Do you have a student  . .. . . I'm sorry how old are you? Your face is young but your hair is old."

I personally feel that it can be really hard to tell age between the ages of 30 and mid 50s in general. People generally take good care of themselves around where I live that I never feel comfortable guessing people's ages - really everyone looks like they are 42 :)




sisto

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 912
  • Age: 49
  • Location: Sacramento, CA
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #151 on: July 18, 2018, 09:09:12 AM »
My friend has been dying her hair for years. She usually goes for really dark colors that are unusual. She finally decided she wants to go natural, but has so much damage from all of the dying and the color was so dark that she was quoted like $300 to get it to a natural grey color. She asked me for help knowing that I just did my son's hair. I bleached his and then added a lilac platinum which came out amazing. He was natural and much lighter to start with so it only took 1 bleach session and 1 toner session. My friend was able to get a wash that helps strip the color and is not as harsh as bleach for her already damaged hair. She managed to use that twice over about a week and it got her to a strawberry honey color. From there I did 1 bleach session which left it pretty brassy and some of the dark cherry color she had was a bit pink looking. This also damaged the hair more so we knew we would cut off 3 - 4 inches afterwards which I did. We tried a couple of non damaging ash blond toners ie no peroxide/developer, but they just didn't do much to the brassy part only the parts that were lighter. It just wasn't quite dark enough. So the next step was to do a darker grey/ash which I weaved in for a more natural look working on the really brassy parts only, but this toner did require a 10% developer. I was nervous at first that it was too dark, but after drying it was a very natural looking grey. She really wanted purple too on the ends and weaved in with the grey, so the next step was to apply a purple toner. So while it took several rounds the end result was awesome. She went to the store the day after I added the purple and 7 people approached her to tell her how great it looked. The biggest thing I noticed was that the lighter color looked more natural and her really thin damaged hair looked much fuller and less damaged. So this is really doable, you just need a friend to help and patience since it might take a few rounds to get the look you want.

couponvan

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5002
  • Location: VA
    • My journal
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #152 on: July 18, 2018, 07:52:16 PM »
Today I had a stereotactic breast biopsy-the ďhighlightĒ was when the tech asked me which salon I went to for the grey halo highlights. She had chunks of blue grey in her hair. ďUmmm, I am just growing my grey out?!Ē She said I was so lucky. I told her she was lucky - on the other side of the table. It still made my day and made me feel better about the decision to let it grow out.
« Last Edit: July 18, 2018, 08:29:29 PM by couponvan »

Need2Save

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 232
  • Location: Maryland (USA)
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #153 on: July 21, 2018, 06:23:40 AM »
1) the first 1/2" of white roots seems to grow alot faster than 5 months of growth
2) people have alot of opinions of what I should do


I will echo both these things. Now that I'm around 5 months, it seems like the growing process has stalled but I know that it's not true. I do think my natural growth is softer and far healthier so really looking forward to having smooth, uniform hair in the future.

Also, when visiting my mother last weekend, she said three times "Are you sure about this"? I think seeing her mid-40s daughter embrace grey is making her feel older even though she was almost 100% grey at 40 but kept up the routine to cover it, and now is 100% white in her late 60's. She went through the same awkward grow out transition period but I guess she waited until she was retired and in her late 50's so she thinks I'm too young to do it now. I thought she'd be more supportive but she is very stubborn. Doesn't make me want to change my mind in the slightest bit though. I think once the transition is complete, everyone will stop asking me questions about it. I rather like some of the silver/steel colors that are coming in now.

JanetJackson

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 542
  • Location: United States
    • How I actually made $50 just for taking a survey and being in the healthcare marketplace
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #154 on: July 24, 2018, 08:39:07 AM »
I wanted to jump in to join the conversation.  Lots of good ideas and discussion here!
I'm 34 and gaining a healthy dose of grey.  I'm naturally red/strawberry blonde, but have, in the past, bleached and toned my hair to a light ashy blonde and am considering doing so again as these greys approach with a bit more vigor.  I don't mind the salt and peppery mix, but for me it's a salt and... peaches?  and isn't quite as endearing.  It kind of looks like badly placed highlights.

One of the best things I did to eliminate brassiness on a budget when I had ash colored hair (2012-2016) was to take a cheap dollar store conditioner and mix it with about 2 tbsp. of blue food coloring.  I would then totally cover my hair with the blue conditioner - I'd wrap my head in either an inside-out shower cap (and then wash it) or plastic wrap and sleep in it overnight about once every month or 6 weeks.  I'd wash it out in the morning.
It cost almost nothing, made my hair very soft from the deep conditioning, and kept the brassy at bay.  You could also mix a pinch of red food coloring in their to get a more purple tone.
A hairdresser friend of mine gave me this tip years ago and I've used it ever since.  I also kept food coloring in/near the shower and mixed it into my regular conditioner every wash. 
I have very curly/wavy hair, so it hides a lot of mistakes, but I never ended up with lavender or blue hair, just about one tone under perfectly white hair without ever going to the salon (I've only been to the salon maybe 8x in my life when I used to clean a salon once a week for monthly hair stuff... color/cut/whatever... I've never paid for a salon service... It was a sad day when I couldn't fit that barter into my schedule any longer- BUT priorities change). 


I highly respect hairdressers and aestheticians, and know for a FACT that you can ruin your hair at home if you don't do a TON of research, but it simply does not work in my budget.


Ö Right now my hair is Salt and Peaches and I think I might go for the white!  I have bleach powder and 10-20-40v developer, and likely some T18 toner somewhere, or I could snag some for $5. 

My mother has long white as snow wavy hair with one darker grey streak in the front framing her face.  She's a mega babe.

bluebelle

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 224
  • Location: Toronto
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #155 on: August 08, 2018, 10:17:26 AM »
well, I'm six months in....I have a white halo effect around my face, which I think is a whole bunch of awesome sauce.  My hair has mostly recovered from the bleached streaks from 5 months ago, would like more, but I'm not doing that to my hair again.  Not thrilled with what the back of my head looks like, but I can't see it unless I get out a mirror (need to stop doing that!).  I use a purple shampoo once every 7-10 days, I like the effect that gives.  (I don't think I'm brave enough to try the conditioner/food colouring tip from above - my hair is just ornery enough to go full on blue!)

Don't get alot of comments about my hair.  Some folks of course think I should full on bleach it, but as I said, my hair likes to suck up colour and the bleach needs to stay on for 3-4 hours to get the colour out, and that just destroys the hair.  A few tell me they like it.....but I'm not doing it for anyone else, just me....my 96 year old mother tells me she loves it every day, so I'm happy she's happy.

I tell myself every day - this is the physical manifestation of my efforts to remember to not give a f**k what everyone else things.  I spend far too much energy worrying about what everyone else thinks.

I know I have at least another year of grow out, looking forward to the journey.

jeninco

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 772
  • Location: .... duh?
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #156 on: August 08, 2018, 12:28:33 PM »
I stopped to complement a lady yesterday who had the most wonderful pepper-and-lilac hair! She said she was using a shampoo (? does this make more sense as a conditioner) that tinted her hair lavender -- if she washed it right out, it just made the hair not be yellowish, but if she left it in for a while the grey become more and more purple.

I loved it (and I'd particularly like one that does the same thing with blue), but have so far been unsuccessful googling for such a thing. I've long thought that if I can get a grey/white streak I'll dye it purple or blue, but so far all the grey/whites are evenly mixed in with my fairly dark brown hair. If I can use shampoo or conditioner to get just the grey to be an interesting color, (and I doubt it'd affect the brown much) I'd spring for it!

Would just adding a little blue dye to my current products (Trader Joe's tea tree stuff) do the same thing?

bluebelle

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 224
  • Location: Toronto
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #157 on: August 08, 2018, 12:40:00 PM »


I loved it (and I'd particularly like one that does the same thing with blue), but have so far been unsuccessful googling for such a thing. I've long thought that if I can get a grey/white streak I'll dye it purple or blue, but so far all the grey/whites are evenly mixed in with my fairly dark brown hair. If I can use shampoo or conditioner to get just the grey to be an interesting color, (and I doubt it'd affect the brown much) I'd spring for it!

I use Joico purple shampoo.....they have a Joico Blue that might do what you want.  The purple does give a slight lavender shade to my hair (why I only use it every 7-10 days).    And you're right, it will do nothing to your brown hair, just the silver/white hair.

carolina822

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 59
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #158 on: August 08, 2018, 07:55:20 PM »
 

Ironically, I have the opposite problem.  In my family, going white seems to be every other generation.  My great grandmother had the most gorgeous snow white hair, but my grandmother didn't have a single gray hair when she passed in her mid-60s.  My mother started going gray in her 20s, and here I am early 50s with almost no gray hair.  I am a darkish blonde who has been lightening up my hair a few shades for years and waiting for some white to come in so I can stop.  LOL  (Note that I don't know how white my mom's hair really is because she is a hairdresser and keeps it red, but the last time I noticed she had roots it was over 50% white and that was a long time ago.)

This is interesting to me, because my family is the same way and I've never heard it from anyone else. My great grandmother had dark brown hair until she died in her 80s. My mom is 69 and has no gray hair. I've been finding scattered silver strands since I was 20.

I'm growing out my color now. I just cut it pretty short, so I don't think it will take that long. It's still mostly a dark blonde, so it's not that different from the highlights I had, but if it's more gray than I think it is, I'll be coloring again ASAP. Unless I have a cool streak like Stacey London.

jeninco

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 772
  • Location: .... duh?
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #159 on: August 09, 2018, 12:37:48 PM »


I loved it (and I'd particularly like one that does the same thing with blue), but have so far been unsuccessful googling for such a thing. I've long thought that if I can get a grey/white streak I'll dye it purple or blue, but so far all the grey/whites are evenly mixed in with my fairly dark brown hair. If I can use shampoo or conditioner to get just the grey to be an interesting color, (and I doubt it'd affect the brown much) I'd spring for it!


I use Joico purple shampoo.....they have a Joico Blue that might do what you want.  The purple does give a slight lavender shade to my hair (why I only use it every 7-10 days).    And you're right, it will do nothing to your brown hair, just the silver/white hair.
Awesome! Thanks for the reference -- I'll go check it out.
« Last Edit: August 13, 2018, 09:37:54 AM by jeninco »

mspym

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1320
  • Location: Downunder
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #160 on: August 09, 2018, 02:49:49 PM »
I'm about due for my annual haircut, which will alter the ratio of brown to silvers. It freaks me for a day or so and then my brain adjusts. Turning completely grey will be a long process - both of my parents didn't go predominantly silver till their 70s and my mum still has about 10% dark hair

Need2Save

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 232
  • Location: Maryland (USA)
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #161 on: August 11, 2018, 06:17:53 AM »
I'm feeling a bit impatient this week about the process. Not reconsidering my decision, just want the grow out period to be faster. I'm at 5.5 months now.

To reward myself for my progress, I've been pulling out work clothes from the wardrobe that will no longer work for me and making a large pile for donation.  I've probably pulled out about 35 or 40 pieces including a few dresses, many shirts and sweaters, 3 pair of pants and about 4 pairs of shoes all in the brown and tan families. As a soon to be former brunnette, these won't work for me going forward and I've given myself permission to buy a few new pieces for work for the fall.  It's a third-check month for me in August so I do have a little extra cash to work with this month. Also, it's been a long while since I bought any work clothes and I plan to continue working for another 3-3.5 years, so I'll be sure to buy stuff that will last me. This has the double advantage of making my closet seem ultra organized, yay!

Also, to counteract the feeling that I'm simply letting myself go (which is totally not true), I've been really focusing on more healthy behaviours like making sure I kick up the excercise, drink plenty of water (good for your skin), and I've given up all desserts and booze until late September when I signed up for a race with my brother. It's actually a duathlon and I know nothing about biking in races so I really have a lot of work to do in the next 6 weeks to prepare.  This has given me something new to obsess about instead of my hair and hoping I will drop off some weight as well. :-)

MaybeBabyMustache

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1450
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #162 on: August 11, 2018, 12:49:58 PM »
Thought I'd chime in as a natural blonde(ish). Started off with super light hair, and it gradually developed into a dark blonde. Added highlights in my 20s, and then stopped coloring my hair around 30. I'm 42, and unfortunately, the way the gray is growing in. . . is pretty terrible. Because the color contrast is so close, it actually looks kind of like awful/mousy highlights. I also pull my hair back a lot for working out, and it's quite noticeable. It is so ashy & really washes me out. (I'm quite fair).  Given how close the colors are, I'm thinking of just using a wash in rinse. Has anyone else been in a similar position? I know, this doesn't belong in the "going grey gracefully" thread. :-)

Linda_Norway

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3894
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #163 on: August 13, 2018, 05:34:35 AM »
Thought I'd chime in as a natural blonde(ish). Started off with super light hair, and it gradually developed into a dark blonde. Added highlights in my 20s, and then stopped coloring my hair around 30. I'm 42, and unfortunately, the way the gray is growing in. . . is pretty terrible. Because the color contrast is so close, it actually looks kind of like awful/mousy highlights. I also pull my hair back a lot for working out, and it's quite noticeable. It is so ashy & really washes me out. (I'm quite fair).  Given how close the colors are, I'm thinking of just using a wash in rinse. Has anyone else been in a similar position? I know, this doesn't belong in the "going grey gracefully" thread. :-)

I am also a natural blond. When I am not a lot in the sun, my hair gets darker blond. This summer it has been very hot and I have been wearing it in a ponytail for months. Then you can clearly see some strands of grey hair. Very few yet, but wel noticeable. During the summer holiday most of my hair has become blond again and the grey is a little less noticing.

I have just asked another female colleague who is older than I am and also she paints her hair. All women here do. I will be the first to grey naturally. While most of the men just let their hair grey, except for one who paints it.
I will see how long I can tolerate having some grey streaks. The streaks are probably not a problem. But becoming entirely grey might be. Maybe I'll eventually try some of those do it yourself paints that holds a couple of washes. But in principle I am against spending so much money on hair.

TheCatWhisperer

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 48
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #164 on: September 05, 2018, 02:19:29 PM »
8 month in now and I figure I've saved at least $700 for the year. I'm planning to chop my hair in a few months to get it to be (mostly) one color. My two friends right now are the purple shampoo and hot pink lipstick.

Need2Save

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 232
  • Location: Maryland (USA)
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #165 on: September 06, 2018, 08:02:19 AM »
8 month in now and I figure I've saved at least $700 for the year. I'm planning to chop my hair in a few months to get it to be (mostly) one color. My two friends right now are the purple shampoo and hot pink lipstick.

Yay! Good on you CatWhisperer. I'm very much looking forward to when I can cut off the color as well. I have started referring to my own as 'rainbow hair' because of all the colors happening at once. Please report back when you do it! I'm a couple months behind you and 6 full months+ in now.

bluebelle

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 224
  • Location: Toronto
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #166 on: September 06, 2018, 12:53:53 PM »
8 month in now and I figure I've saved at least $700 for the year. I'm planning to chop my hair in a few months to get it to be (mostly) one color. My two friends right now are the purple shampoo and hot pink lipstick.
Yeah you!  I'm at about 6.5 months of growth now....I like the colour, and I do like the hue after a wash with purple shampoo.  I actually got stopped last week by a stranger to tell me how much they liked my colour - was it natural or did I dye it this way?  (who would dye 4-5 inches white and leave the rest?  But a compliment is a compliment).
People have stopped bugging me about colouring it, now they all want me to cut the colour off, but I haven't had short short hair since I was 13.  Didn't like it then, not going to do it now!
For anyone still contemplating letting the grey grow out - GO FOR IT.  It's very freeing, not worrying about whether the root grow out is showing....when I coloured my hair, I knew roots were showing within 7-10 days of a colour....now, I don't worry about it....as would be appropriate on this forum, I have no fucks to give.

Trifele

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1704
  • Location: US
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #167 on: September 08, 2018, 05:16:19 AM »
For anyone still contemplating letting the grey grow out - GO FOR IT.  It's very freeing, not worrying about whether the root grow out is showing....when I coloured my hair, I knew roots were showing within 7-10 days of a colour....now, I don't worry about it....as would be appropriate on this forum, I have no fucks to give.

Yes -- go for it!   I get at least one compliment a week on my hair, and what I think these women are really saying is they want to feel free too. 

fuzzy math

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 650
  • Location: PNW ---> Midwest (for now)
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #168 on: September 08, 2018, 03:24:34 PM »
Thought I'd chime in as a natural blonde(ish). Started off with super light hair, and it gradually developed into a dark blonde. Added highlights in my 20s, and then stopped coloring my hair around 30. I'm 42, and unfortunately, the way the gray is growing in. . . is pretty terrible. Because the color contrast is so close, it actually looks kind of like awful/mousy highlights. I also pull my hair back a lot for working out, and it's quite noticeable. It is so ashy & really washes me out. (I'm quite fair).  Given how close the colors are, I'm thinking of just using a wash in rinse. Has anyone else been in a similar position? I know, this doesn't belong in the "going grey gracefully" thread. :-)

I think all grey discussion belongs here...

My addition. (For reference: almost black hair w white growing in at 36) Decided that $120 every 3 months was too much for highlights to blend the grey. Decided to go to the local cosmetology school. They informed me of a groupon which I bought on site, and it only cost me $24 + tip for foils and a cut. Took 3 hrs 45 mins which is debatable in terms of time well spent but at least they didn't make me bald! :p

sui generis

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 618
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #169 on: October 26, 2018, 08:52:26 AM »
I stopped plucking out my grays a few months ago and, I'm not gonna lie, it's a little tough to just let them come in and wrestle... not really with how I look, but what it means about me and mortality, etc.  I think I had successfully held onto my teenager idea of immortality a bit too long, and this (among other factors) is making me realize I'm probably "over the hill" as my parents and aunts and uncles used to joke with each other when I was little.

I also suspect I might end up with a sort of white stripe?  About 80%+ of the grays seem to be growing in in just one spot, a bit back from my hairline and on the right of center.  Or maybe it won't be enough to be an actual stripe, but just a strangely uneven cluster of grays on my head.

Frankies Girl

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2842
  • Age: 81
  • Location: The laboratory
  • Typical Ghoul Next Door
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #170 on: October 26, 2018, 09:22:18 AM »
I just saw this thread active again, so thought I'd add in my update.

Stopped dying my hair completely about 2 years ago. It's all grown out about shoulder length, slightly variegated silver with a really awesome white stripe on one side (if you are familiar with comic version Rogue, I have a strip just off center like hers). The fun thing is, apparently my hair has a blue-ish cast in bright light, so my hair is super cool looking.

Still get mistaken as AARP age by some folks, but oh well. I have great skin so it's not that (I haven't developed any wrinkles yet!).

Added bonus: I have no need for conditioner or styling products any more. I can use straight shampoo and maybe a touch of hairspray for the flyaways. My hair is super shiny and soft, and it is comb-able right after a shower. It is scary how pretty and manageable it is now. I guess once you stop putting crap in your hair that damages it, you don't need to buy 6 billion other products trying to fix it or make it possible to work with it...

Linda_Norway

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3894
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #171 on: October 26, 2018, 12:11:42 PM »
Added bonus: I have no need for conditioner or styling products any more. I can use straight shampoo and maybe a touch of hairspray for the flyaways. My hair is super shiny and soft, and it is comb-able right after a shower. It is scary how pretty and manageable it is now. I guess once you stop putting crap in your hair that damages it, you don't need to buy 6 billion other products trying to fix it or make it possible to work with it...

In the past I had my hair permed. That had the same effect of making it dead and hard to handle. After I stopped that nonsense my hair has also been nice and soft.

Recently we had a girls meeting at work. Every single one of them painted their hair. Including the one 27 year old. The rest painted their hait to hide the grey. They spend a lot of money on it. I am the first women in the department not painting away the grey hairs. When I wear my hair loose, you don't notice the grey hairs. With the exception of the occasional twisted grey antenna hair on the top of my head. When I wear a pony tail, the grey shows just above my ears.

Milizard

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 618
  • Location: West Michigan
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #172 on: October 27, 2018, 11:24:41 AM »
I was about to color my gray hair yesterday, when I spotted this thread.  (Since I was going a little ahead of schedule, I put it off a day.) I've been toying with the idea of growing the gray out due to current trends, but I'm now of an age where I can't pull off the young face, gray hair look.  It's going to age me a lot, and I need to get back into the workforce, so it's not going to happen now.  I'd love to try the purple wash, but have been warned that the gray doesn't really take it.  Nice to read that it is working for some here.  Again, I can't do the purple thing now, as I really, really need to get my career going again. It's already hard enough trying to get back in in my 40's, without anything else possibly working against me. 

I do love the look on one of the bloggers shared here, though.  It is also comforting to learn of all the others that have gone gray as early as I have.  It's been frustrating to me to be young, but have really old looking hair.  It's a bit less frustrating now that my age has caught up to my hair somewhat.  If I had to guess, I'd say I'm 60% gray at the crown and sides, very little gray lower down on my head.

So for now, I'm continuing the box hair color that I love (Swartzkoff Keritin in delicate praline, which is close to my pre-gray color).  It does give my fine hair better texture, so there's a silver lining I guess.  I only dye the regrowth per my hairdresser's suggestion, so that really helps with drying effects.  My colored gray pops out a bit as sparkly highlights as it fades a bit.  My hairdresser does highlights on my hair a few times a year, too.  I pay half or less than many of you for this, however. (LCOLA & personal acquaintance)  I imagine that when I go to au naturale sometime in the future, I'll opt for the sporadic highlights/lowlights route.

Linda_Norway

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3894
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #173 on: October 28, 2018, 01:09:48 AM »
I was about to color my gray hair yesterday, when I spotted this thread.  (Since I was going a little ahead of schedule, I put it off a day.) I've been toying with the idea of growing the gray out due to current trends, but I'm now of an age where I can't pull off the young face, gray hair look.  It's going to age me a lot, and I need to get back into the workforce, so it's not going to happen now.  I'd love to try the purple wash, but have been warned that the gray doesn't really take it.  Nice to read that it is working for some here.  Again, I can't do the purple thing now, as I really, really need to get my career going again. It's already hard enough trying to get back in in my 40's, without anything else possibly working against me. 

I do love the look on one of the bloggers shared here, though.  It is also comforting to learn of all the others that have gone gray as early as I have.  It's been frustrating to me to be young, but have really old looking hair.  It's a bit less frustrating now that my age has caught up to my hair somewhat.  If I had to guess, I'd say I'm 60% gray at the crown and sides, very little gray lower down on my head.

So for now, I'm continuing the box hair color that I love (Swartzkoff Keritin in delicate praline, which is close to my pre-gray color).  It does give my fine hair better texture, so there's a silver lining I guess.  I only dye the regrowth per my hairdresser's suggestion, so that really helps with drying effects.  My colored gray pops out a bit as sparkly highlights as it fades a bit.  My hairdresser does highlights on my hair a few times a year, too.  I pay half or less than many of you for this, however. (LCOLA & personal acquaintance)  I imagine that when I go to au naturale sometime in the future, I'll opt for the sporadic highlights/lowlights route.

I understand why you continue to paint for the moment. It is unfortunate that hair colour on a working place matters in our society, especially for women.

Need2Save

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 232
  • Location: Maryland (USA)
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #174 on: November 29, 2018, 03:57:24 AM »
How is everyone doing with their progress?

I'm 9 months now! Yay! I def. feel like I've turned the corner in more natural color vs. leftover box color left.  I cut may hair a bit shorter about 3 weeks ago so I think I'm about 2/3 natural vs. 1/3 color on the longest parts.  Probably about 6 months until the last little bit of color is cut out if I keep it this length and keep getting trims.  Right now it looks like I intentionally highlighted the bottom ends so people seem to like the effect.

At Thanksgiving, I saw a few relatives that I hadn't seen in many, many months and my transition was a bit of a shock to them. But they were all supportive and complimentary. 

I am now focusing on removing other toxic products from my life. Researching low or no-chemical shampoos/conditioners to switch to and make-up products.  Have gotten rid of any product with "fragrance" including a small supply of perfumes (which I rarely wore anyways but can do without). Also ditched every single lipstick, lipgloss, etc. I owned as I always regret the feeling on my lips the day after I wear them. I'm also going without deodorant most days and seem to be having no problems and improving skin.

How are you guys? Did anyone give up and go back to coloring? Has anyone had a dramatic haircut to reduce the transition time? Updates please!

couponvan

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 5002
  • Location: VA
    • My journal
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #175 on: November 29, 2018, 06:34:31 AM »
Still not coloring- I have shoulder length hair and it also looks like I got the tips colored with the light to dark fade. I only get bothered by the gray when wearing a pony tail. Iíve saved a bundle in coloring costs.

pachnik

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1740
  • Age: 54
  • Location: Vancouver, BC
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #176 on: November 29, 2018, 06:50:33 AM »
I stopped colouring mine a few years ago.  The front is silver and the back is dark, dark brown with silver mingled in. 

Last night I was out for dinner with a group of about a dozen women - some who I see regularly and others who I see maybe a few times a year.  I got quite a few questions and compliments.  Apparently, my gray has come in nicely.  :)   


pachnik

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1740
  • Age: 54
  • Location: Vancouver, BC
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #177 on: November 29, 2018, 06:54:03 AM »
I was about to color my gray hair yesterday, when I spotted this thread.  (Since I was going a little ahead of schedule, I put it off a day.) I've been toying with the idea of growing the gray out due to current trends, but I'm now of an age where I can't pull off the young face, gray hair look.  It's going to age me a lot, and I need to get back into the workforce, so it's not going to happen now.  I'd love to try the purple wash, but have been warned that the gray doesn't really take it.  Nice to read that it is working for some here.  Again, I can't do the purple thing now, as I really, really need to get my career going again. It's already hard enough trying to get back in in my 40's, without anything else possibly working against me. 

I do love the look on one of the bloggers shared here, though.  It is also comforting to learn of all the others that have gone gray as early as I have.  It's been frustrating to me to be young, but have really old looking hair.  It's a bit less frustrating now that my age has caught up to my hair somewhat.  If I had to guess, I'd say I'm 60% gray at the crown and sides, very little gray lower down on my head.

So for now, I'm continuing the box hair color that I love (Swartzkoff Keritin in delicate praline, which is close to my pre-gray color).  It does give my fine hair better texture, so there's a silver lining I guess.  I only dye the regrowth per my hairdresser's suggestion, so that really helps with drying effects.  My colored gray pops out a bit as sparkly highlights as it fades a bit.  My hairdresser does highlights on my hair a few times a year, too.  I pay half or less than many of you for this, however. (LCOLA & personal acquaintance)  I imagine that when I go to au naturale sometime in the future, I'll opt for the sporadic highlights/lowlights route.

I understand why you continue to paint for the moment. It is unfortunate that hair colour on a working place matters in our society, especially for women.

+1.   I completely get it too.

The office I work in is going to close in about 2 years when the partners retire and I'll be looking for a new job.  I may also have to get low lights - to cover up some of the grey - if i have trouble getting work.

sui generis

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 618
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #178 on: November 29, 2018, 10:40:48 AM »
I wasn't coloring, but have not plucked a gray hair since I left work 3.5 months ago, and I had stopped all but in my part before then.  So it's been quite a few months and there are a lot more than I thought there were!  And they grow more slowly than I'd like, so I have a lot of short gray hairs that stand up and refuse to lay down nicely.  Next month when I see my family for the holidays I wonder if they will notice.  I haven't seen anyone since before the summer, so they don't know yet and I'll be interested to see if others perceive it as significantly as I do.

CSuzette

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 46
  • Location: Boston, MA
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #179 on: November 29, 2018, 11:28:25 AM »
I think you have to look at yourself objectively when working in a professional office about how you come across. If gray hair works for you then you are one of the lucky few. I tried the natural look and on me it looked awful. Another woman at worked stopped and it aged her 15 years. I see she just started to color again.  I have worked with my hairdresser to come up with something that looks natural and not dried out. But I have instructed no bleach. We use a high lift with booster (Goldwell brand). I also tell her what colors to mix together.   My base color is in the blonde range and so bleach does not work. If you are getting unhealthy results it is probably the bleach.

CSuzette

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 46
  • Location: Boston, MA
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #180 on: November 29, 2018, 11:32:31 AM »
Yes I do spend a lot on my hair. But I think it has helped me to earn the money that I am making. So it is all worth it. I doubt I will ever stop coloring my hair. I like to project a youthful (energetic) look.

Rural

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4719
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #181 on: November 29, 2018, 06:02:40 PM »
Still grey here. The underside and nape of my neck are just starting to turn, but I've grown it long enough that nothing but the grey shows. I still find it gets me more respect in my field (academia).

thefrugalfuyanger

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 7
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #182 on: November 29, 2018, 06:35:51 PM »
I appreciate this conversation! I am paying down debt, and part of how I stayed in it was continuing to professionally color my hair.  I have naturally dark brown with wiry gray hairs that stick up, too, as others have mentioned, so I'm not ready to let it go "natural" yet ... but I am using cheap box color to dye it close to its original shade in the meantime.

It's my current coping mechanism.  I'm in my thirties FWIW.

Awesomeness

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 131
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #183 on: November 29, 2018, 09:10:11 PM »
Iíve been all natural for most of this year now.  Had my first blah moment the other day, didnít like anything about my hair.  I have a super short cut, think pixie cut w bangs that swoop to one side. I have a forehead that doesnít quit so I decided to give myself bangs again. Went too short. Ugh.  So I went to see my stylist and got my neck and ears trimmed and it looked better.  Thankfully my hair grows fast so my bangs should fill in nicely. 

For a second I thought of coloring again but Iím good now. I think itís time to switch shampoos. I use head and shoulders even though I donít have a dandruff issue.  I just started it one day in the shower when mine was low, I liked how soft my hair felt so I kept using it.  I want something that will give me more shine. Costco has lots of options and a good return policy so Iíll start there.

I also have trouble styling my hair. Even though itís super short I need to add product to give it texture, depth or whatever they call it. Iím working on that part, makeup and hair have never been my strengths. 

So Iíll keep going all natural, hope to find a better shampoo and learn to style it better.   Canít imagine growing it longer, I really like my short hair but Iím hoping get to a happier place soon. 

The money savings is a big plus.  I get a cut once a month for 35$ and sheíll give me a quick trim anytime for no charge, I need to take advantage of that more often, keeps it looking better longer.  I remember once I got a cut, color and brow wax and spent 180$. Yikes. I trim my brows myself now.

kei te pai

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 195
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #184 on: November 30, 2018, 02:11:51 AM »
All colouring completely grown out now, and I love it. My hair is soft, shiny and silky feeling without using any product other than cheapo shampoo.
Its silvery grey at the front and more salt and pepper at the back. Im used to the change now, and  feel liberated !

thefrugalfuyanger

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 7
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #185 on: November 30, 2018, 01:07:28 PM »
Ahhh, this is awesome! Congrats and thanks for the update! Iím new, but I read discovered and read through the thread yesterday. ♥️

thefrugalfuyanger

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 7
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #186 on: November 30, 2018, 01:08:48 PM »
Ahhh, this is awesome! Congrats and thanks for the update! Iím new, but I read discovered and read through the thread yesterday. ♥️

Sorry for the redundant ďread.Ē Proofreading fail.

TheCatWhisperer

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 48
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #187 on: December 18, 2018, 12:02:51 PM »
I'm coming up on the one year anniversary of ditching the dye. I'm about half and half now natural vs colored for my shoulder length hair. Last weekend I had bangs cut and it was best decision ever. While not for everyone, I found that they sharpened up my look and made my color at least look symmetrical.

My hair is feeling so healthy without chemicals! For anyone thinking about going au naturale, go for it. You can always dye your hair again if you don't like it. You might actually be surprised and like what you see. :)


bluebelle

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 224
  • Location: Toronto
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #188 on: December 18, 2018, 12:49:27 PM »
I'm coming up on the one year anniversary of ditching the dye. I'm about half and half now natural vs colored for my shoulder length hair. Last weekend I had bangs cut and it was best decision ever. While not for everyone, I found that they sharpened up my look and made my color at least look symmetrical.

My hair is feeling so healthy without chemicals! For anyone thinking about going au naturale, go for it. You can always dye your hair again if you don't like it. You might actually be surprised and like what you see. :)
Isn't the white 'halo' effect around your face awesome?  I love mine....I'm at the 10 month mark now, seeing more white on the floor with every hair cut (meaning that the shorter layers are fully grown out now!)

Linda_Norway

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3894
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #189 on: December 18, 2018, 01:07:25 PM »
My hair is feeling so healthy without chemicals! For anyone thinking about going au naturale, go for it. You can always dye your hair again if you don't like it. You might actually be surprised and like what you see. :)

That is exactly how I felt when I had grown out all my permed hair. It felt so much healthier after that, and still does.