Author Topic: how to go grey gracefully  (Read 18737 times)

StarBright

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #150 on: July 18, 2018, 08:07:43 AM »

3) people aren't very observant - folks are putting me 10-15 years older than I am, whereas folks put me 10-15 years younger than I am when I coloured my hair - pretty sure that my face hasn't aged 20-30 years in the last 6 months! 


Related to your number 3) - When I was out shopping last month a cashier said "Do you have an aarp . . .Do you have a student  . .. . . I'm sorry how old are you? Your face is young but your hair is old."

I personally feel that it can be really hard to tell age between the ages of 30 and mid 50s in general. People generally take good care of themselves around where I live that I never feel comfortable guessing people's ages - really everyone looks like they are 42 :)




sisto

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #151 on: July 18, 2018, 09:09:12 AM »
My friend has been dying her hair for years. She usually goes for really dark colors that are unusual. She finally decided she wants to go natural, but has so much damage from all of the dying and the color was so dark that she was quoted like $300 to get it to a natural grey color. She asked me for help knowing that I just did my son's hair. I bleached his and then added a lilac platinum which came out amazing. He was natural and much lighter to start with so it only took 1 bleach session and 1 toner session. My friend was able to get a wash that helps strip the color and is not as harsh as bleach for her already damaged hair. She managed to use that twice over about a week and it got her to a strawberry honey color. From there I did 1 bleach session which left it pretty brassy and some of the dark cherry color she had was a bit pink looking. This also damaged the hair more so we knew we would cut off 3 - 4 inches afterwards which I did. We tried a couple of non damaging ash blond toners ie no peroxide/developer, but they just didn't do much to the brassy part only the parts that were lighter. It just wasn't quite dark enough. So the next step was to do a darker grey/ash which I weaved in for a more natural look working on the really brassy parts only, but this toner did require a 10% developer. I was nervous at first that it was too dark, but after drying it was a very natural looking grey. She really wanted purple too on the ends and weaved in with the grey, so the next step was to apply a purple toner. So while it took several rounds the end result was awesome. She went to the store the day after I added the purple and 7 people approached her to tell her how great it looked. The biggest thing I noticed was that the lighter color looked more natural and her really thin damaged hair looked much fuller and less damaged. So this is really doable, you just need a friend to help and patience since it might take a few rounds to get the look you want.

couponvan

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #152 on: July 18, 2018, 07:52:16 PM »
Today I had a stereotactic breast biopsy-the “highlight” was when the tech asked me which salon I went to for the grey halo highlights. She had chunks of blue grey in her hair. “Ummm, I am just growing my grey out?!” She said I was so lucky. I told her she was lucky - on the other side of the table. It still made my day and made me feel better about the decision to let it grow out.
« Last Edit: July 18, 2018, 08:29:29 PM by couponvan »

Need2Save

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #153 on: July 21, 2018, 06:23:40 AM »
1) the first 1/2" of white roots seems to grow alot faster than 5 months of growth
2) people have alot of opinions of what I should do


I will echo both these things. Now that I'm around 5 months, it seems like the growing process has stalled but I know that it's not true. I do think my natural growth is softer and far healthier so really looking forward to having smooth, uniform hair in the future.

Also, when visiting my mother last weekend, she said three times "Are you sure about this"? I think seeing her mid-40s daughter embrace grey is making her feel older even though she was almost 100% grey at 40 but kept up the routine to cover it, and now is 100% white in her late 60's. She went through the same awkward grow out transition period but I guess she waited until she was retired and in her late 50's so she thinks I'm too young to do it now. I thought she'd be more supportive but she is very stubborn. Doesn't make me want to change my mind in the slightest bit though. I think once the transition is complete, everyone will stop asking me questions about it. I rather like some of the silver/steel colors that are coming in now.

JanetJackson

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #154 on: July 24, 2018, 08:39:07 AM »
I wanted to jump in to join the conversation.  Lots of good ideas and discussion here!
I'm 34 and gaining a healthy dose of grey.  I'm naturally red/strawberry blonde, but have, in the past, bleached and toned my hair to a light ashy blonde and am considering doing so again as these greys approach with a bit more vigor.  I don't mind the salt and peppery mix, but for me it's a salt and... peaches?  and isn't quite as endearing.  It kind of looks like badly placed highlights.

One of the best things I did to eliminate brassiness on a budget when I had ash colored hair (2012-2016) was to take a cheap dollar store conditioner and mix it with about 2 tbsp. of blue food coloring.  I would then totally cover my hair with the blue conditioner - I'd wrap my head in either an inside-out shower cap (and then wash it) or plastic wrap and sleep in it overnight about once every month or 6 weeks.  I'd wash it out in the morning.
It cost almost nothing, made my hair very soft from the deep conditioning, and kept the brassy at bay.  You could also mix a pinch of red food coloring in their to get a more purple tone.
A hairdresser friend of mine gave me this tip years ago and I've used it ever since.  I also kept food coloring in/near the shower and mixed it into my regular conditioner every wash. 
I have very curly/wavy hair, so it hides a lot of mistakes, but I never ended up with lavender or blue hair, just about one tone under perfectly white hair without ever going to the salon (I've only been to the salon maybe 8x in my life when I used to clean a salon once a week for monthly hair stuff... color/cut/whatever... I've never paid for a salon service... It was a sad day when I couldn't fit that barter into my schedule any longer- BUT priorities change). 


I highly respect hairdressers and aestheticians, and know for a FACT that you can ruin your hair at home if you don't do a TON of research, but it simply does not work in my budget.


… Right now my hair is Salt and Peaches and I think I might go for the white!  I have bleach powder and 10-20-40v developer, and likely some T18 toner somewhere, or I could snag some for $5. 

My mother has long white as snow wavy hair with one darker grey streak in the front framing her face.  She's a mega babe.

bluebelle

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #155 on: August 08, 2018, 10:17:26 AM »
well, I'm six months in....I have a white halo effect around my face, which I think is a whole bunch of awesome sauce.  My hair has mostly recovered from the bleached streaks from 5 months ago, would like more, but I'm not doing that to my hair again.  Not thrilled with what the back of my head looks like, but I can't see it unless I get out a mirror (need to stop doing that!).  I use a purple shampoo once every 7-10 days, I like the effect that gives.  (I don't think I'm brave enough to try the conditioner/food colouring tip from above - my hair is just ornery enough to go full on blue!)

Don't get alot of comments about my hair.  Some folks of course think I should full on bleach it, but as I said, my hair likes to suck up colour and the bleach needs to stay on for 3-4 hours to get the colour out, and that just destroys the hair.  A few tell me they like it.....but I'm not doing it for anyone else, just me....my 96 year old mother tells me she loves it every day, so I'm happy she's happy.

I tell myself every day - this is the physical manifestation of my efforts to remember to not give a f**k what everyone else things.  I spend far too much energy worrying about what everyone else thinks.

I know I have at least another year of grow out, looking forward to the journey.

jeninco

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #156 on: August 08, 2018, 12:28:33 PM »
I stopped to complement a lady yesterday who had the most wonderful pepper-and-lilac hair! She said she was using a shampoo (? does this make more sense as a conditioner) that tinted her hair lavender -- if she washed it right out, it just made the hair not be yellowish, but if she left it in for a while the grey become more and more purple.

I loved it (and I'd particularly like one that does the same thing with blue), but have so far been unsuccessful googling for such a thing. I've long thought that if I can get a grey/white streak I'll dye it purple or blue, but so far all the grey/whites are evenly mixed in with my fairly dark brown hair. If I can use shampoo or conditioner to get just the grey to be an interesting color, (and I doubt it'd affect the brown much) I'd spring for it!

Would just adding a little blue dye to my current products (Trader Joe's tea tree stuff) do the same thing?

bluebelle

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #157 on: August 08, 2018, 12:40:00 PM »


I loved it (and I'd particularly like one that does the same thing with blue), but have so far been unsuccessful googling for such a thing. I've long thought that if I can get a grey/white streak I'll dye it purple or blue, but so far all the grey/whites are evenly mixed in with my fairly dark brown hair. If I can use shampoo or conditioner to get just the grey to be an interesting color, (and I doubt it'd affect the brown much) I'd spring for it!

I use Joico purple shampoo.....they have a Joico Blue that might do what you want.  The purple does give a slight lavender shade to my hair (why I only use it every 7-10 days).    And you're right, it will do nothing to your brown hair, just the silver/white hair.

carolina822

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #158 on: August 08, 2018, 07:55:20 PM »
 

Ironically, I have the opposite problem.  In my family, going white seems to be every other generation.  My great grandmother had the most gorgeous snow white hair, but my grandmother didn't have a single gray hair when she passed in her mid-60s.  My mother started going gray in her 20s, and here I am early 50s with almost no gray hair.  I am a darkish blonde who has been lightening up my hair a few shades for years and waiting for some white to come in so I can stop.  LOL  (Note that I don't know how white my mom's hair really is because she is a hairdresser and keeps it red, but the last time I noticed she had roots it was over 50% white and that was a long time ago.)

This is interesting to me, because my family is the same way and I've never heard it from anyone else. My great grandmother had dark brown hair until she died in her 80s. My mom is 69 and has no gray hair. I've been finding scattered silver strands since I was 20.

I'm growing out my color now. I just cut it pretty short, so I don't think it will take that long. It's still mostly a dark blonde, so it's not that different from the highlights I had, but if it's more gray than I think it is, I'll be coloring again ASAP. Unless I have a cool streak like Stacey London.

jeninco

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #159 on: August 09, 2018, 12:37:48 PM »


I loved it (and I'd particularly like one that does the same thing with blue), but have so far been unsuccessful googling for such a thing. I've long thought that if I can get a grey/white streak I'll dye it purple or blue, but so far all the grey/whites are evenly mixed in with my fairly dark brown hair. If I can use shampoo or conditioner to get just the grey to be an interesting color, (and I doubt it'd affect the brown much) I'd spring for it!


I use Joico purple shampoo.....they have a Joico Blue that might do what you want.  The purple does give a slight lavender shade to my hair (why I only use it every 7-10 days).    And you're right, it will do nothing to your brown hair, just the silver/white hair.
Awesome! Thanks for the reference -- I'll go check it out.
« Last Edit: August 13, 2018, 09:37:54 AM by jeninco »

mspym

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #160 on: August 09, 2018, 02:49:49 PM »
I'm about due for my annual haircut, which will alter the ratio of brown to silvers. It freaks me for a day or so and then my brain adjusts. Turning completely grey will be a long process - both of my parents didn't go predominantly silver till their 70s and my mum still has about 10% dark hair

Need2Save

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #161 on: August 11, 2018, 06:17:53 AM »
I'm feeling a bit impatient this week about the process. Not reconsidering my decision, just want the grow out period to be faster. I'm at 5.5 months now.

To reward myself for my progress, I've been pulling out work clothes from the wardrobe that will no longer work for me and making a large pile for donation.  I've probably pulled out about 35 or 40 pieces including a few dresses, many shirts and sweaters, 3 pair of pants and about 4 pairs of shoes all in the brown and tan families. As a soon to be former brunnette, these won't work for me going forward and I've given myself permission to buy a few new pieces for work for the fall.  It's a third-check month for me in August so I do have a little extra cash to work with this month. Also, it's been a long while since I bought any work clothes and I plan to continue working for another 3-3.5 years, so I'll be sure to buy stuff that will last me. This has the double advantage of making my closet seem ultra organized, yay!

Also, to counteract the feeling that I'm simply letting myself go (which is totally not true), I've been really focusing on more healthy behaviours like making sure I kick up the excercise, drink plenty of water (good for your skin), and I've given up all desserts and booze until late September when I signed up for a race with my brother. It's actually a duathlon and I know nothing about biking in races so I really have a lot of work to do in the next 6 weeks to prepare.  This has given me something new to obsess about instead of my hair and hoping I will drop off some weight as well. :-)

MaybeBabyMustache

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #162 on: August 11, 2018, 12:49:58 PM »
Thought I'd chime in as a natural blonde(ish). Started off with super light hair, and it gradually developed into a dark blonde. Added highlights in my 20s, and then stopped coloring my hair around 30. I'm 42, and unfortunately, the way the gray is growing in. . . is pretty terrible. Because the color contrast is so close, it actually looks kind of like awful/mousy highlights. I also pull my hair back a lot for working out, and it's quite noticeable. It is so ashy & really washes me out. (I'm quite fair).  Given how close the colors are, I'm thinking of just using a wash in rinse. Has anyone else been in a similar position? I know, this doesn't belong in the "going grey gracefully" thread. :-)

Linda_Norway

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #163 on: August 13, 2018, 05:34:35 AM »
Thought I'd chime in as a natural blonde(ish). Started off with super light hair, and it gradually developed into a dark blonde. Added highlights in my 20s, and then stopped coloring my hair around 30. I'm 42, and unfortunately, the way the gray is growing in. . . is pretty terrible. Because the color contrast is so close, it actually looks kind of like awful/mousy highlights. I also pull my hair back a lot for working out, and it's quite noticeable. It is so ashy & really washes me out. (I'm quite fair).  Given how close the colors are, I'm thinking of just using a wash in rinse. Has anyone else been in a similar position? I know, this doesn't belong in the "going grey gracefully" thread. :-)

I am also a natural blond. When I am not a lot in the sun, my hair gets darker blond. This summer it has been very hot and I have been wearing it in a ponytail for months. Then you can clearly see some strands of grey hair. Very few yet, but wel noticeable. During the summer holiday most of my hair has become blond again and the grey is a little less noticing.

I have just asked another female colleague who is older than I am and also she paints her hair. All women here do. I will be the first to grey naturally. While most of the men just let their hair grey, except for one who paints it.
I will see how long I can tolerate having some grey streaks. The streaks are probably not a problem. But becoming entirely grey might be. Maybe I'll eventually try some of those do it yourself paints that holds a couple of washes. But in principle I am against spending so much money on hair.

TheCatWhisperer

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #164 on: September 05, 2018, 02:19:29 PM »
8 month in now and I figure I've saved at least $700 for the year. I'm planning to chop my hair in a few months to get it to be (mostly) one color. My two friends right now are the purple shampoo and hot pink lipstick.

Need2Save

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #165 on: September 06, 2018, 08:02:19 AM »
8 month in now and I figure I've saved at least $700 for the year. I'm planning to chop my hair in a few months to get it to be (mostly) one color. My two friends right now are the purple shampoo and hot pink lipstick.

Yay! Good on you CatWhisperer. I'm very much looking forward to when I can cut off the color as well. I have started referring to my own as 'rainbow hair' because of all the colors happening at once. Please report back when you do it! I'm a couple months behind you and 6 full months+ in now.

bluebelle

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #166 on: September 06, 2018, 12:53:53 PM »
8 month in now and I figure I've saved at least $700 for the year. I'm planning to chop my hair in a few months to get it to be (mostly) one color. My two friends right now are the purple shampoo and hot pink lipstick.
Yeah you!  I'm at about 6.5 months of growth now....I like the colour, and I do like the hue after a wash with purple shampoo.  I actually got stopped last week by a stranger to tell me how much they liked my colour - was it natural or did I dye it this way?  (who would dye 4-5 inches white and leave the rest?  But a compliment is a compliment).
People have stopped bugging me about colouring it, now they all want me to cut the colour off, but I haven't had short short hair since I was 13.  Didn't like it then, not going to do it now!
For anyone still contemplating letting the grey grow out - GO FOR IT.  It's very freeing, not worrying about whether the root grow out is showing....when I coloured my hair, I knew roots were showing within 7-10 days of a colour....now, I don't worry about it....as would be appropriate on this forum, I have no fucks to give.

Trifele

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #167 on: September 08, 2018, 05:16:19 AM »
For anyone still contemplating letting the grey grow out - GO FOR IT.  It's very freeing, not worrying about whether the root grow out is showing....when I coloured my hair, I knew roots were showing within 7-10 days of a colour....now, I don't worry about it....as would be appropriate on this forum, I have no fucks to give.

Yes -- go for it!   I get at least one compliment a week on my hair, and what I think these women are really saying is they want to feel free too. 

fuzzy math

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Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #168 on: September 08, 2018, 03:24:34 PM »
Thought I'd chime in as a natural blonde(ish). Started off with super light hair, and it gradually developed into a dark blonde. Added highlights in my 20s, and then stopped coloring my hair around 30. I'm 42, and unfortunately, the way the gray is growing in. . . is pretty terrible. Because the color contrast is so close, it actually looks kind of like awful/mousy highlights. I also pull my hair back a lot for working out, and it's quite noticeable. It is so ashy & really washes me out. (I'm quite fair).  Given how close the colors are, I'm thinking of just using a wash in rinse. Has anyone else been in a similar position? I know, this doesn't belong in the "going grey gracefully" thread. :-)

I think all grey discussion belongs here...

My addition. (For reference: almost black hair w white growing in at 36) Decided that $120 every 3 months was too much for highlights to blend the grey. Decided to go to the local cosmetology school. They informed me of a groupon which I bought on site, and it only cost me $24 + tip for foils and a cut. Took 3 hrs 45 mins which is debatable in terms of time well spent but at least they didn't make me bald! :p