Author Topic: how to go grey gracefully  (Read 15150 times)

couponvan

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4231
  • Location: Illinois
    • My journal
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #100 on: April 03, 2018, 08:34:30 PM »
I don't have anything else to add right now except I love your signature @couponvan  :)  @Bracken_Joy always seems to have interesting things to say.

Awww thank you for tagging me =) That was a happy thing to wake up to.

I'm still tickled when I notice Coup's signature!

@Bracken_Joy - it's all still true. You'd think I'd have learned more in a year.
Why the hell are we going shopping? Buy sh*t, return other sh*t, go through sh*t and donate sh*t. Complain about having too much sh*t. Repeat. (Bracken Joy 2/17)




Cressida

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2210
  • Location: Sunset Zone 5
  • gender is a hierarchy
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #101 on: April 03, 2018, 11:38:53 PM »
Why are we making ourselves invisible, as experienced, knowledgeable women of a certain age?  Why are we pretending to be younger? 

+1


Oh man, I feel so embarrassed, because I think I am the only one, but I *PLUCK* every single grey hair out!

I used to do that. It got to be just too much, and I stopped. It wasn't that bad. It's true that occasionally there would be this weird short gray hair, and if it looked too weird I would still pluck it out. Most of the hairs grow in unobtrusively, so eventually a prominent short hair doesn't look that odd and you can let it grow.

Linda_Norway

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2970
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #102 on: April 04, 2018, 10:47:26 AM »

Oh man, I feel so embarrassed, because I think I am the only one, but I *PLUCK* every single grey hair out!

I used to do that. It got to be just too much, and I stopped. It wasn't that bad. It's true that occasionally there would be this weird short gray hair, and if it looked too weird I would still pluck it out. Most of the hairs grow in unobtrusively, so eventually a prominent short hair doesn't look that odd and you can let it grow.

I currently have a very prominent grey hair on the middle of my forehead. It is thick, stiff and curly. DH has already commented on me that I had gotten grey hair, pointing on that one.
I figure that pulling it out won't help in the long run. I think it will grow back equally grey. So I have decided to let it grow longer. I will look silly for half a year until it fits in better with the rest.

In the lunch break at work I noticed that one of my mail colleagues whi has pretty long curly hair has some grey parts in the front and at the sides. It looked very elegant. Why wouldn't it do the same for women?
« Last Edit: April 05, 2018, 07:11:57 AM by Linda_Norway »

sui generis

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 331
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #103 on: April 04, 2018, 11:19:21 AM »
Why wouldn't it do the same for women?

Why, indeed.  Our culture around women's youth and beauty is oppressive.

WootWoot

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 363
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #104 on: April 04, 2018, 11:40:45 AM »
I have a short haircut, so I just let the color grow out. It took the better part of a year. Didn't wear any hats or scarves or anything.

Then suddenly one day, I decided it made me look too old, so I'm a redhead again.

Oh well...It was an interesting experiment.



bluebelle

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 185
  • Location: Toronto
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #105 on: April 10, 2018, 11:38:16 AM »
more incentive to get to the all over grey/white....two weeks after the last colour and the white roots are quite visable (to me at least)

I'm so over colouring my hair.......I like the few streaks of grey the hair stylist put in last time.....next time, I want alot more....although the bleaching process to get the colour out of the colour treated hair was hard on my hair.
oh my freaking god....is bleaching hard on your hair....7 weeks later, I had alot more grey streaks put in....but the bleaching process to stip out all the colour took a long time and my hair is super brittle now.  (how do people who regularily bleach their hair blond have any hair left on their head?)....
anyway, I now have more grey (temporary tint over the yellowish bleached hair) than red....and have decided that I'm just going to let it grow out....skunk strip and all....this is way to hard on my hair, way too time consuming (5+ hours at the hair salon)......

for anyone contemplating starting to colour their hair - DON'T.

StarBright

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 932
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #106 on: April 10, 2018, 11:58:26 AM »
more incentive to get to the all over grey/white....two weeks after the last colour and the white roots are quite visable (to me at least)

I'm so over colouring my hair.......I like the few streaks of grey the hair stylist put in last time.....next time, I want alot more....although the bleaching process to get the colour out of the colour treated hair was hard on my hair.
oh my freaking god....is bleaching hard on your hair....7 weeks later, I had alot more grey streaks put in....but the bleaching process to stip out all the colour took a long time and my hair is super brittle now.  (how do people who regularily bleach their hair blond have any hair left on their head?)....
anyway, I now have more grey (temporary tint over the yellowish bleached hair) than red....and have decided that I'm just going to let it grow out....skunk strip and all....this is way to hard on my hair, way too time consuming (5+ hours at the hair salon)......

for anyone contemplating starting to colour their hair - DON'T.

Ha- I needed to read the bolded today.

Even though I love my silver streaks I don't like the "pepper" part of my hair and back when I colored I went for an ashy light brown/dark blonde.

Health issues (and I suspect early greying) have made my thin hair just a bit thinner. And the dark hair (70%) against my snow white scalp make the thinner spots noticeable in a way they never were when my hair was dyed a lighter color.

I have been thinking about coloring again until I have more gray (I'm about 30%).

But I worked so hard to grow it out! I probably shouldn't color it again :)

bobfnbw

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 10
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #107 on: April 10, 2018, 12:06:37 PM »
I recently did a image search on woman with grey hair. Almost 60 and still with little grey in my hair, but see some coming. My wife colors her hair. But I find women with grey hair or salt and pepper to white quite attractive now. Even when I was much younger, I had a instructor in school that was probably in her mid 40's that had a full head of grey hair and I found her beautiful and exotic.
While I know not all grey is the same, I find women that carry grey hair with honor and pride appealing.
Just one mans opinion....
Bob

RelaxedGal

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 293
  • Age: 40
  • Location: 495 corridor, Massachusetts, USA
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #108 on: April 10, 2018, 12:07:36 PM »
for anyone contemplating starting to colour their hair - DON'T.

I've been toying with the semi-permanent 6 week color, with a brunette "gloss", and how grey is too grey.  The grey is coming in at my temples which looks distinguished in men, but I am not a fan of the look on me.  I'm maybe 10% grey overall, but that's 5% everywhere else and 40% above my ears.  My coworkers still think I'm younger than I am, maybe it will eventually give me some gravitas and garner more respect.

Thanks for the reminder BlueBelle. 

bluebelle

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 185
  • Location: Toronto
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #109 on: April 10, 2018, 12:30:07 PM »
more incentive to get to the all over grey/white....two weeks after the last colour and the white roots are quite visable (to me at least)

I'm so over colouring my hair.......I like the few streaks of grey the hair stylist put in last time.....next time, I want alot more....although the bleaching process to get the colour out of the colour treated hair was hard on my hair.
oh my freaking god....is bleaching hard on your hair....7 weeks later, I had alot more grey streaks put in....but the bleaching process to stip out all the colour took a long time and my hair is super brittle now.  (how do people who regularily bleach their hair blond have any hair left on their head?)....
anyway, I now have more grey (temporary tint over the yellowish bleached hair) than red....and have decided that I'm just going to let it grow out....skunk strip and all....this is way to hard on my hair, way too time consuming (5+ hours at the hair salon)......

for anyone contemplating starting to colour their hair - DON'T.

Ha- I needed to read the bolded today.

Even though I love my silver streaks I don't like the "pepper" part of my hair and back when I colored I went for an ashy light brown/dark blonde.

Health issues (and I suspect early greying) have made my thin hair just a bit thinner. And the dark hair (70%) against my snow white scalp make the thinner spots noticeable in a way they never were when my hair was dyed a lighter color.

I have been thinking about coloring again until I have more gray (I'm about 30%).

But I worked so hard to grow it out! I probably shouldn't color it again :)
sorry to hear about your thinning hair, FWIW, I have super thick hair (or at least I did before I had the hairdresser bleach alot of streaks in), the snowy white scalp of grow out was what made me decide to stop colouring in the first place....snow white hair and a very white/pink scalp made it look like I was balding.

30+ years of permanent hair colour, and my hair was strong and healthy.  After the weekend bleach job, the bleached hair is brittle and wispy....thank goodness my hair grows quickly (and I have enough to lose some).....

But I'm letting the rest grow out, to hell with the growth delineator....I may put in some rinses/semi-perm colour while it grows out, but no more bleach.

okits

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6618
  • Location: Canada
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #110 on: April 10, 2018, 08:40:00 PM »
for anyone contemplating starting to colour their hair - DON'T.

Thank you for starting this thread, bluebelle, it has been very informative for me.  I'm 38 with black hair and dreading the day I start to grey, with all the implications that I'm old (and will look it).  I'm a bit more at peace with the idea now that I see there are lower-maintenance alternatives like that Black Malva conditioner.  I'm going to try hard to avoid dyeing and put that money and energy into maintaining youthful health and attitude.

Linda_Norway

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2970
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #111 on: April 11, 2018, 04:21:39 AM »
for anyone contemplating starting to colour their hair - DON'T.

Thank you for starting this thread, bluebelle, it has been very informative for me.  I'm 38 with black hair and dreading the day I start to grey, with all the implications that I'm old (and will look it).  I'm a bit more at peace with the idea now that I see there are lower-maintenance alternatives like that Black Malva conditioner.  I'm going to try hard to avoid dyeing and put that money and energy into maintaining youthful health and attitude.

I am also glad for this thread. I am blond and not so long ago I had started to look into colouring, as I am getting my first grey hairs. Thanks to this thread I have decided to just let them be there. As said, colouring is an endless process and not very cheap either.

Daisy

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1873
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #112 on: April 16, 2018, 08:32:35 PM »
A friend I hadn't seen in a while commented on my dispersed naturally highlighted grays and said she loved my hair color. She then mentioned how she had been thinking of stopping the coloring of her hair, as she was tired of all of the chemicals. Perhaps I have a convert...

I also went to my high school reunion and found an old classmate sporting a very healthy shoulder length gray hairdo. She was originally blond. I kept telling her how awesome she looked and she was an inspiration.

Linda_Norway

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2970
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #113 on: April 17, 2018, 04:55:01 AM »
A friend I hadn't seen in a while commented on my dispersed naturally highlighted grays and said she loved my hair color. She then mentioned how she had been thinking of stopping the coloring of her hair, as she was tired of all of the chemicals. Perhaps I have a convert...

I also went to my high school reunion and found an old classmate sporting a very healthy shoulder length gray hairdo. She was originally blond. I kept telling her how awesome she looked and she was an inspiration.

Good work to both ^^^^.

If only more women would dare to wear their hair grey in a nice way. I have quite a few female colleagues who are older than I am and who should be grey. I know that one started to grey in her early 30-ies. None of them is wearing her hair grey. While most of my male colleagues are greying naturally.

bluebelle

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 185
  • Location: Toronto
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #114 on: April 24, 2018, 11:11:35 AM »
has anyone used any of the 'purple' shampoos and conditioners for blonde and grey hair, to tone down 'brassiness' (which I assume means ugly yellow)?

2.5 weeks after the major bleach/streak, the semi-perm grey is fully washed out, and now I have yellowish streaks to go with the damaged hair.  I've order Joico purple colour balancer shampoo, it's supposed to tone down the yellow and give it a silver sheen....what the hell, it's work a try.

I'll let all y'all know how it goes.

I'll get there, but this transition is more work than colouring my hair every 5-6 weeks.........sigh

couponvan

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4231
  • Location: Illinois
    • My journal
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #115 on: April 24, 2018, 02:38:30 PM »
has anyone used any of the 'purple' shampoos and conditioners for blonde and grey hair, to tone down 'brassiness' (which I assume means ugly yellow)?

2.5 weeks after the major bleach/streak, the semi-perm grey is fully washed out, and now I have yellowish streaks to go with the damaged hair.  I've order Joico purple colour balancer shampoo, it's supposed to tone down the yellow and give it a silver sheen....what the hell, it's work a try.

I'll let all y'all know how it goes.

I'll get there, but this transition is more work than colouring my hair every 5-6 weeks.........sigh

I've used the purple ones - they do work a little.  Ugly yellow/orange is the "brassiness" of which you speak.  I prefer the John Frieda gloss toners to the shampoo. Sadly Walgreens just stopped carrying the toners - I wish I'd known as I would have bought a bunch as I grow out my gray and stop highlighting my hair.
Why the hell are we going shopping? Buy sh*t, return other sh*t, go through sh*t and donate sh*t. Complain about having too much sh*t. Repeat. (Bracken Joy 2/17)




Rural

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4572
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #116 on: April 24, 2018, 04:39:35 PM »
has anyone used any of the 'purple' shampoos and conditioners for blonde and grey hair, to tone down 'brassiness' (which I assume means ugly yellow)?

2.5 weeks after the major bleach/streak, the semi-perm grey is fully washed out, and now I have yellowish streaks to go with the damaged hair.  I've order Joico purple colour balancer shampoo, it's supposed to tone down the yellow and give it a silver sheen....what the hell, it's work a try.

I'll let all y'all know how it goes.

I'll get there, but this transition is more work than colouring my hair every 5-6 weeks.........sigh

I've used the purple ones - they do work a little.  Ugly yellow/orange is the "brassiness" of which you speak.  I prefer the John Frieda gloss toners to the shampoo. Sadly Walgreens just stopped carrying the toners - I wish I'd known as I would have bought a bunch as I grow out my gray and stop highlighting my hair.


I use the shampoo on my naturally grey/silver (okay, maybe white) hair. Don't really know if it help, though. My hairdresser and my mother both suggested I use it when I was already using it - I figure that can't be a good sign. They are the only two people on the planet who would tell me if it's yellowing. I don't use the shampoo all the time, though, so I may start doing that.

TheCatWhisperer

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 44
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #117 on: April 25, 2018, 03:26:28 PM »
I'm 38 and decided to ditch the dye about 4 months ago.  Last month I had my stylist put in a few ashy blonde highlights along my part to break up the skunk stripe. It seems to be a little less noticeable. I have been coloring my hair since I was 16, so I have no idea what my actual hair color is now. Hoping to stay strong in this journey.


Linda_Norway

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2970
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #118 on: April 26, 2018, 04:41:57 AM »
I'm 38 and decided to ditch the dye about 4 months ago.  Last month I had my stylist put in a few ashy blonde highlights along my part to break up the skunk stripe. It seems to be a little less noticeable. I have been coloring my hair since I was 16, so I have no idea what my actual hair color is now. Hoping to stay strong in this journey.

:-) I have no idea what my mother's hair color is/was, apart from that I think it is grey now (she's 68). I don't think I've ever seen her without painted hair. Or was it the brown color she had when I was a child???

Need2Save

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 195
    • Visit us at our Blog
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #119 on: May 04, 2018, 07:20:49 AM »
I have been reading through everyone's thoughts on this topic with much interest.  I am 3.5 months into my personal transition to embrace my gray. I'm 45 and been coloring for over 15 years. At first I had a lot of self-inflicted anxiety about it which is odd for me because I'm usually a very confident and fuck-it kind of person when it comes to other people's opinions. But the truth is that when you've been dyeing your hair for over 15 years, it's a big deal to suddenly stop.

This is what I've done so far to help with the transition: 
1. About six months before when I was thinking about doing it soon, I started going lighter and lighter with my usual brown dye until I got to a  darker blond color.  This has helped the white/gray growth not be so contrasting, however I am not 100% white or gray either. You can clearly see the old brown/blond color and the new natural brown coming through are not the same, but it helps soften it a bit too.
2. After two months of letting the roots grow out, I used a lighter blond color to do suttle higlights only around the crown area where I usually part my hair. This has further softened the skunk line a bit.
3. I'm planning in about another six to eight weeks to do another round of highlights (sparingly) but even lighter (closer to white/platinum) to further blend in the old colored part with the new white parts and then that's it. For some reason, one side of my head has more white/gray than the other so I will focus on that side to give a somewhat intentional streaky look to it around my face. The other side is more salt/peppered.

I have to say that so far no one at work has commented on my ever-growing root contrast and every single woman I work with dyes her hair. Maybe they are just being polite, or maybe it's not as noticeable as I thought it would be this early on. I felt that I should tell my immediate family what I was doing this year with my hair situation and they all said 'oh, okay' like whatever, mom you do whatever you want to.  It's only hair after all!
It has helped that Mr.N2S is very supportive of this journey and doesn't mind the gray at all.

So although I have a few bad days here and there, I'm feeling more and more confident about the decision to let nature take it's course even though I'm only 3 months in.   I wanted to share my thoughts in case they help someone else and I'll try to report back on the progress.

Also, I find that I'm noticing other people's hair a lot more now that I'm going through this process and I have to say even though I used to be one of them, all those fakers out there aren't fooling nobody! There is certainly more tolerance for multi-colored hair these days so have fun with it. I mean so many people have streaks of all colors or half one color and half another (those ombre looks).  People pay good money to make their hair look like it's grown out from a previous color.

couponvan

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4231
  • Location: Illinois
    • My journal
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #120 on: May 04, 2018, 07:40:45 AM »
I'm also a few months into the end of hair color - I only have grey in the front that I can see so far, so I don't feel like I have the skunk stripe everyone else is talking about.  At my last coloring appointment, I asked for them to leave just the crown without color.  It (kind of) looks like highlights.  The greys are curlier than my normal hair though, so it's hard to get those suckers to lie flat.  I've taken to using gel, letting it dry and then finishing the styling after that.  I did cut my hair to above the shoulder so that less of the color has to grow out over time.  No one at work has said anything yet other than they like my new hairdo.
Why the hell are we going shopping? Buy sh*t, return other sh*t, go through sh*t and donate sh*t. Complain about having too much sh*t. Repeat. (Bracken Joy 2/17)




FIRE Artist

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 479
  • Location: YEG
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #121 on: May 06, 2018, 07:22:55 AM »
There was another thread about this a couple years back, I posted pictures then. My hair is a chin length stacked bob (shorter in the back).  I have a professional job so the unkempt look of roots growing out was not an option, but I desperately wanted out of the regular root touch up hamster wheel. I consulted with my hairdresser and got the most expensive fancy pants hair dye job of my life. I went from my medium brown to a streaky ash blond. The streaks were put in unevenly so that there would be no visible harsh line at all when the roots grew in. It took 2 years to all grow out, and just looked like the tips were sun bleached. 

6 months into the transition a colleague who knew what I was doing commented on how she couldnít tell I was growing out my grey at all.  My hair is about 40% grey.
ďThose who put the moustache on Mona Lisa are not attacking it, or art, but Leonardo da Vinci the man. What irritates them is that a man with half a dozen pictures has this great name in history, whereas they, with their large oeuvre, arenít sure.Ē  Barnett Newman

Running list of my plans for post FIRE
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/journals/things-i-will-get-up-to-when-i-fire/

Mtngrl

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 279
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #122 on: May 06, 2018, 01:43:23 PM »
Bluebell -- get yourself some Olaplex conditioner -- you will probably have to order it online and it is not cheap. However, it does an amazing job to repair damaged, bleached hair. I used it when I bleached out the red in my hair to a blond to start my grow-out process. It really does work, and even though I have fairly long hair, I was able to get 4 treatments from one $28 bottle. You put it on wet hair and leave it for a long time -- at least 30 minutes, but overnight, or all day while you're at home is better. Then you wash it out.

bluebelle

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 185
  • Location: Toronto
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #123 on: May 06, 2018, 01:50:03 PM »
Bluebell -- get yourself some Olaplex conditioner -- you will probably have to order it online and it is not cheap. However, it does an amazing job to repair damaged, bleached hair. I used it when I bleached out the red in my hair to a blond to start my grow-out process. It really does work, and even though I have fairly long hair, I was able to get 4 treatments from one $28 bottle. You put it on wet hair and leave it for a long time -- at least 30 minutes, but overnight, or all day while you're at home is better. Then you wash it out.
]
Thanks.  I'm 4 weeks post bleach, and my hair has 'almost' recovered....I figure the next cut will take out the worst of the remaining damage.

Need2Save

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 195
    • Visit us at our Blog
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #124 on: May 23, 2018, 07:19:33 AM »
I thought I would post a quick update about my experience with other women I work with.  So I'm not quite 4 months in to this thing and last week for the first time I talked about letting the grey come in with several of my female coworkers (including my boss). They were actually complimenting me on my shorter hair style and I recently put a couple of blonder highlights around the part line and around my face to blend in with the white/silver that's coming in.  So I figured no better opportunity to admit that I was embracing my natural gray/silver colors and letting them come in since the conversation was suddenly all about my hair. I said that I appreciated their support during the process (like I confidentally expected it of them).

The first reaction was 'oh, why?' then when I explained that I'm tired of keeping up with the routine and that my head is becoming increasingly sensitive to the chemicals involved (I have very sensitive skin and take anti-histimines practically every day to reduce itching and irritation sensations), the second reaction was to offer suggestions for alternatives for me to try (rather than saying something positive about letting the grey come in). I thought that was odd. Suggestions including trying organic dyes and Madison Reed and for example. So this taught me that in the work setting, although trying to be helpful, the first reaction was to look for ways that I could keep up with the dye routine.

Then one of the women (late 60's and still dyes her hair) asked me how I was feeling about it which I thought was nice. I said that I'm feeling pretty good about embracing my natural state and that it's only hair after all. Later, after I gave a group presentation, the same person commented to me that she was looking at my natural hair color during my preso and thought the color will look very nice once it comes in fully. It was a nice compliment, but I wanted her to listen to my awesome presentation not spend the hour studying my roots! ha-ha.

bluebelle

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 185
  • Location: Toronto
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #125 on: May 23, 2018, 08:54:29 AM »
yes, it can be odd, the reactions you get from people....when I first put the highlights in, I got positive reactions, since it basically lightened my hair colour from auburn to 'something'....people liked the lighter colour....but if I explained I was embracing my natural grey/white, most folks don't get it.  They can not understand why I wouldn't keep colouring my hair, "just get it done every month"....or "can't you just colour it all grey".....now I'm just digging in my heels and folks can suck it if they don't like it.   Hubby's only concern is how damaged my hair looked after the major bleaching 6 weeks ago, but my hair has somewhat recovered, although my bangs are more straight than curly now, but they'll grow out.....Even though the bleaching was very damaging to my hair, I find that the streaks really to soften the 'skunk' line.

I've been using Joico's purple shampoo and violet conditioner every other wash, it does change the colour a little, makes the white seem brighter, although I'm not seeing a great improvement in the brassy tones.....it must deposit a little colour, because next time I shampoo, the suds look a little grey/mauve to me.

The other thing I find funny, the 1/4 to 1/2" of white skunk line always seemed to appear so quickly, but now that I'm at 13+ weeks of root grow out, it doesn't seem to be growing out as fast......

forestbound

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 256
  • Location: midwest
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #126 on: May 23, 2018, 10:54:46 AM »
I was getting a streak of brassy/yellow in my otherwise white silver hair. I used the purple shampoo but that didn't get rid of it. I now do a weekly rinse with Hydrogen Peroxide which I leave in for about 15 minutes and that really seems to take care of it. We have very hard water. (iron!)

I am so glad I went from dye to hats to super short white. The transistion was one haircut. Everyone was shocked but polite. There is no going back for me. All my cousins who still dye theirs tell me what a bother it is but keep doing it. Not me. D.O.N.E.!
Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open? ~Jalal ad-Did

Awesomeness

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 96
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #127 on: May 23, 2018, 11:02:41 AM »
Just got back from a trip where I saw a lot of family and friends that hadnít seen me with my all natural color.  Got a couple compliments and most importantly Iím loving it.  I get a trim or cut every two weeks so my monthly hair costs are under 30$. Much better than the 150$ ish I was spending every six weeks and that wasnít often enough.  The more I look around the happier I am with my decision.

couponvan

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4231
  • Location: Illinois
    • My journal
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #128 on: May 23, 2018, 04:18:44 PM »
Still keeping with the no more salon grey hair coloring.  I'm using the John Frieda gloss treatment for cool brown hair that doesn't deposit color permanently.  So far so good. The hair is now bobbed just above my shoulders, so I've still got about 5 more months before the grey is to the ends.  I'm saving a ton every 5 weeks now.  The next step might be to go to the cheap hair salon for cuts, but I'm not quite there yet.
Why the hell are we going shopping? Buy sh*t, return other sh*t, go through sh*t and donate sh*t. Complain about having too much sh*t. Repeat. (Bracken Joy 2/17)




sui generis

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 331
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #129 on: May 23, 2018, 04:21:45 PM »
I've almost quit plucking out my greys!  I hadn't plucked in a couple of weeks and I stopped and looked the other day and was SHOCKED at how many there were!  I am continuing on with the plan to pluck any in my part that would stick out, but not others buried within my hair - that's what I sort of failed on...I plucked a few I found elsewhere...just because I was so shocked at how many there were.  But still a big improvement for me!

Linda_Norway

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2970
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #130 on: May 24, 2018, 12:17:04 AM »
I am still annoyed by that one stiff, grey hair sitting in the front of my hairline. I notice it every time I look into the mirror. I do think however, that if I pull it out, a new one just will return.
I have some more grey hairs just above my ears, but I hardly ever notice them, so they are no problem.

StarBright

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 932
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #131 on: May 24, 2018, 07:30:12 AM »


The other thing I find funny, the 1/4 to 1/2" of white skunk line always seemed to appear so quickly, but now that I'm at 13+ weeks of root grow out, it doesn't seem to be growing out as fast......

^ yes! This. My first couple of inches looked stark to me, then as it grew out it didn't seem as drastic. I actually just cut my long hair (of which the last couple of inches were still a bit colored) to the collar bone and I swear that my hair looks brown with ashy blonde highlights. In direct sunlight it is certainly noticeable but now that it is all out I'm not nearly as grey as I thought I was.

Though honestly, still pretty grey for my 30s.

msanne

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 8
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #132 on: May 24, 2018, 05:42:51 PM »
I have just about about finished this process. l I think it really depends on you and what colour your hair is under the dye.  It turns out I was a lot less grey than I thought and also my hair was not as dark as I recalled. 
What worked for me was to go platinum blonde (quite costly at a salon, but worth it) and when I got the dreaded roots line I went for low lights and a set of highlights,  I only went one more time for a couple of foil highlights and let it go.  I have a shoulder length bob right now and have been as short as a chin length bob for this process.. Pretty much took a full year to look good but really worth the results in my opinion.
There are a few good videos on youtube.  One woman in particular shows how she only dyed the top of her hair near her part line and let the grey grow out underneath.  She has stunning results.  Her hair was very dark.  I think her videos are called going gray gracefully. Deb Arndt is her name.

Linda_Norway

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2970
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #133 on: May 27, 2018, 02:33:55 PM »
Today I met a bunch of people with the same interest as I have. Many of them women, slightly older than me. I saw several of them that had a bunch of grey hairs streaking through their brown hair. Nice to see that they wear it without colouring.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2018, 02:36:11 AM by Linda_Norway »

sui generis

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 331
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #134 on: June 19, 2018, 11:56:03 PM »
You guys, this is much harder than I thought it would be!  I posted earlier on the thread about how I've been plucking every single grey hair out since I was about 30.  At first it was about one or two every 3-4 months and lately it had been 3-4 every 1-2 weeks!  But I still had some idea it was not that many...I think I thought it was the same 10-20 hairs that were just...growing back faster?  I don't know, I was fooling myself, I guess.  Since I decided to stop plucking (except for ones directly in my part, so it wouldn't be so noticeable to start), I've been doing pretty good.  There have even only been a handful in my part the last few months.  But, I just looked more closely at the rest of my hair and it's like I've been colonized!  There are so many!  I have to admit I freaked out and plucked about 8 or 9 immediately.

I really underestimated my ability to reject society's dictates that a 40 year old ought not to have grey hair, or just the general emphasis on youth and invisibility of middle-aged and older women.  I thought I was accepting my increasing invisibility.  But, I guess not.  I'm still a slave to our culture.

I tell myself I just wanted to pluck those 8-9 tonight so that the change would be more gradual (like it would have been had I let them slowly start increasing over the last decade).  But I can tell it's going to be tough to loosen the grip on these feelings and put down the tweezers.  A little part of me whispers to me that I have A LOT of hair.  I could probably get away with plucking them all for another decade and no one would know!  I'm here doing this confessional to try to recommit to reducing/eliminating the plucking and letting myself go grey....with or without grace!

Rural

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4572
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #135 on: June 27, 2018, 08:12:51 PM »
So, today I learned that Manic Panic semipermanent hair gel will take really well on grey hair. Or at least the deep purple color called UltraViolet will. Also it glows under a blacklight, or so I'm told.


No bleaching required, and the purple goes well with the few gray stripes I missed. :)

couponvan

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4231
  • Location: Illinois
    • My journal
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #136 on: June 27, 2018, 08:28:36 PM »
I am gray more on one side and than the other. This is mildly annoying to me. Also, my hair seems to be growing more slowly now. Or the gray is breaking off and I never noticed it when it was colored the same as my hair.
Why the hell are we going shopping? Buy sh*t, return other sh*t, go through sh*t and donate sh*t. Complain about having too much sh*t. Repeat. (Bracken Joy 2/17)




Linda_Norway

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2970
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #137 on: June 28, 2018, 02:42:05 AM »
Now I am really noticing a few normal type grey hairs growing from the hairline at the side of my face. When I wear my hair in a ponytail, those hairs are showing on the side of my head, much higher than just above the ears where I had some earlier. So it is finally happening for real. I will be the first of the women in my department at work who will show grey hair. Our average age in the department is 45 years old. Many of the women should have been grey, but only the men show grey hair.

Need2Save

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 195
    • Visit us at our Blog
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #138 on: July 01, 2018, 05:32:10 AM »
I am gray more on one side and than the other. This is mildly annoying to me. Also, my hair seems to be growing more slowly now. Or the gray is breaking off and I never noticed it when it was colored the same as my hair.

I am def. lopsided on the gray pattern as well. My hair is very straight if unstyled, so I can part it on either the left or right side if I choose. The left side is about 95% gray on the part line, but the right side is more like 60-65% gray (a lot more brown still showing through). I decided when I put in some blondish streaks to do that on the left side where I am more gray and it def. blends in there but I think it may have looked weird on the other side.  Also, the very back of my head is still quite brown, but the sides have pockets of gray. It's more noticeable the longer the grow-out gets.  I totally agree that it seems the hair is growing slower although I know it's not true.

Nature is a strange lady!

Rural

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4572
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #139 on: July 01, 2018, 08:08:49 PM »
I continue to rock the purple, but am also considering pink highlights.


This may not be "graceful," but it's a lot more damn fun than grace!

TheCatWhisperer

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 44
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #140 on: July 03, 2018, 09:46:13 PM »
I've now made it past the 6 month mark of no color. It's been interesting to say the least. First off, there isn't nearly as much grey as I thought there would be. People tend to think it's highlights until they look closer. Also, my natural hair color is actually prettier than I remember, and it's sad that I've spent so many years covering it up.

All I want is to be one tone again. Right now I'm rocking grey, ash brown, chocolate brown and blonde. Not the best look but hopefully my colorist can do something this weekend to help blend it. Part of me wants to cut it all off into a pixie, but I've been down that road before and the grow out phase was HARD. Figure I need avoid making drastic changes during this process, because it's so easy to "hit the bottle" again and be back at square one.

The struggle is real.

mspym

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 396
  • Location: Downunder
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #141 on: July 04, 2018, 02:12:28 AM »
Yup yup it turns out my natural hair colour is much prettier and the grey way less noticable once I went natural.

Rural

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4572
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #142 on: July 04, 2018, 03:09:53 AM »
Being temoorary,  the purple has just about washed out now, which was faster than I'd hoped. But it was dramatic  for a few days!

RetiredAt63

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8577
  • Location: Eastern Ontario, Canada
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #143 on: July 04, 2018, 07:39:03 AM »
Referring back to something earlier - my sister has her hair stripped and it needs masses of conditioning.  I used the semi-permanent dyes (Natural Instincts, in case brand matters) for years and my hair was always fine.  I have let the grey come now, but what I miss the most is that my (natural) red highlights have disappeared.
The measure of civilization is how people treat one another.

http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/meetups-and-social-events/ontario's-own-camp-mustache-2017/ - MEET US THERE!

HP

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 74
  • Location: Silva, Mons et Mare
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #144 on: July 04, 2018, 07:01:53 PM »
I'm young and going grey already, but I expected that due to genetics and some health events.

I did dye my hair with henna last year using this method: http://www.mehandi.com/v/vspfiles/downloadables/hennahow.pdf --but it was to cover up the dull, lifeless brown hairs; I didn't mind the silvery ones. My hair used to glow red in the sun and I missed that, so I figured the henna would add a reddish cast like I had before the health events. It was actually a lot more red than I expected, which was fun for a bit, but it was fairly high contrast when my roots would grow in, so I started adding in more and more cassia to the henna every time I do my roots. Lightening it up gradually seems to work really well.

Though, I went and shaved the side of my head (kind of a punk rock look) the other week and was surprised at what a nice skull I have under there. :P I'll probably shave my whole head once I'm ready to grow out a more conventional hairstyle again just so that it's all starting at the same length (and wear hats if I don't like it as much as anticipated). I expect to have a lot of fun trying out different short hairstyles while it's growing out since I've only had long hair before.

I do find white hair to be really pretty, especially long white hair, and am looking forward to mine being white (or mostly white), which I estimate will occur by the time I'm fifty based on my current trajectory and my family members' trajectories.

These semi-permanent dyes many of you have mentioned sound fun, too.

DreamFIRE

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 878
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #145 on: July 06, 2018, 05:47:15 PM »

I have a little grey, mostly noticeable on the sides, not much on top.  It's probably one the my least concerns.

Awesomeness

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 96
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #146 on: July 06, 2018, 10:01:16 PM »
Iím so loving my natural hair color. I changed my short hair style recently and it brought out some more greys but it looks nice.  I had longer hair on top that I parted on one side, the back and side were short enough that theyíd be cut with a razor.  I got a trim or cut every two weeks.
 

I sort of went with a Jamie lee Curtis, Judy Dench, tousled pixie but I have bangs. The top is cut shorter and I need to add product to keep it from spiking up, but the part isnít as visible.  The side and back are longer, no razor edges, a little edgy.  I get it cut once a month now.

The grey is more visible but I love it. So glad I stopped coloring. I wonít go back anytime soon.

I did get laser eye surgery so I could dump my glasses. Those were making me feel old, not the grey hair though. Funny. I do like the new haircut and now no glasses. I bought some big but cute 5$ sunglasses from old navy so that was fun.

Daisy

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1873
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #147 on: July 16, 2018, 10:25:22 PM »
I've said before on this thread that I have never colored my hair, mostly due to allergy fears.

Well I am in my late 40s and have some gray "highlights". I have light brown hair and always had blondish highlights. Some people do a double take and say "wow your highlights are actually gray".

I think my gray highlights are becoming more noticeable, or maybe I am just too self conscious. Either way, it's not affecting what age people think I am. I have always looked younger than my age. Even with this gray, I have been called my mother's granddaughter a few times, and once my brother's daughter. Needless to say, both my mother and brother weren't too happy with this. Although the whole family has good genes as far as looking younger than our age. I once went to my nephew's college graduation and in that town, I was asked if I was one of the graduates. I do think that one incident was quite ridiculous, but I love to tell the story. I always like to rub these incidents in my younger sister's face as she is always called older than me and it pisses her off.

bluebelle

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 185
  • Location: Toronto
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #148 on: July 17, 2018, 10:35:40 AM »
It's been 21 weeks since my roots were last touched up.....things I've learned:
1) the first 1/2" of white roots seems to grow alot faster than 5 months of growth
2) people have alot of opinions of what I should do
3) people aren't very observant - folks are putting me 10-15 years older than I am, whereas folks put me 10-15 years younger than I am when I coloured my hair - pretty sure that my face hasn't aged 20-30 years in the last 6 months! 
4) it takes a few months for my hair to recover from a bleaching session (to put in streaks to soften the grow out) ....not putting in more
5) I'm brave enough to let my white roots grow out, not brave enough to cut my hair short to lessen the grow out period.  I haven't had short hair since I was 13, and didn't like the experience then
6) DH will eventually come around and like it.  Now that my hair is healthy again, he says the white is growing on him.  (he always said it was my hair, I could do what I wanted - just in case anyone was going to hate on him.  He just didn't like the frizz after the bleach)
7) my very elderly mother loves it.  But probably because I'm wearing it in a bun or pony tail alot more, and she likes that.

and most importantly, it's helped me give fewer fucks about what other people think.  I've spent too much time in my life worrying about what other people think.  My white roots are a daily reminder that the person in the mirror has the most important opinion about my life.  (I'm a people pleaser, so I need all the help I can get in putting my own oxygen mask on first)

sui generis

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 331
Re: how to go grey gracefully
« Reply #149 on: July 17, 2018, 11:35:03 AM »

and most importantly, it's helped me give fewer fucks about what other people think.  I've spent too much time in my life worrying about what other people think.  My white roots are a daily reminder that the person in the mirror has the most important opinion about my life.  (I'm a people pleaser, so I need all the help I can get in putting my own oxygen mask on first)

Love this.  As well as letting (most of) my gray grow out, I'm trying to wear less make-up or wear it less often.  While on vacation, I only wore make-up out to a very few restaurants for dinner, other than that, nothing the whole 2.5 weeks.  And I guess I could say it's "helping" me give fewer fucks.  In the sense that I'm in a super early stage and feel uncomfortable when I think about what people are thinking about me (in those few moments I think about it, or when I catch my reflection in the airport bathroom mirror or something) and I assume that some day I will feel more comfortable and actually give fewer fucks, but right now I am practicing giving fewer fucks and am a real beginner.  I guess it's good to practice while the grays aren't very noticeable.  By the time there are enough of them for the average person to notice, I should be an expert!