I'd suggest starting with "is this my problem"? I understand, you don't want to leave your wife hanging, and there's a natural urge to "fix" stuff. But it seems to me that you are so angry -- disproportionately angry given the level of the perceived offense -- because (i) she was irresponsible with something that has been bugging you for a long time, and (ii) that issue caused you to have to drop everything and ruin your own plans to fix the very foreseeable and preventable problem she created. Right?
The way you combat that kind of anger is to really, really closely scrutinize both of those assumptions. Starting with #2: the car thing messed with your day only because you let it: because you decided -- without even asking her if she needed help! -- that you needed to run to the rescue. And as you did so, you had time to stew over how this was all her fault, and start to resent the effect on your day, so by the time you got there, you were a bomb waiting to go off at the first provocation.* But the reality is that it was entirely your choice to go run out to take charge of the situation. She didn't ask you! She had a plan! Sure, it was a questionable plan, but it was her plan, and she was entirely capable of implementing it and dealing with the consequences. You were the one who chose to interject yourself into the situation -- and then you got mad at her for your own decision.
Same thing with #1: her irresponsibility with the charger bothers you because you know -- just know -- that she's going to run out of juice as a result. Right? But, again, that's something to worry about only if the second assumption is also true, and it's your responsibility to come fix it when it happens. If that's her problem to deal with, then you don't need to worry about it, right?
What it looks like to me is that you have a little bit of the parent-child thing going on. She's irresponsible, she can't take care of your nice things, so you have to nag and get frustrated and figure out how to get her to do it; and then when the inevitable happens, you have to rush in and fix everything, because she's incapable of managing the situation herself. That's the assumption you need to challenge. Sure, maybe your wife is careless about plugging in the charger. So what? What's the worst that can happen? Gee, maybe she'll run out of charge and have to deal with getting the car towed. Well, guess what? That's how people learn. But you've now saved her from that consequence by rushing in and taking over.
Why don't you start from the assumption that she is a competent adult who is capable of -- and responsible for -- managing her own shit? And if she does something stupid again and something bad happens,** and she calls you to tell you what's going on, you can respond with, "oh, gee, I'm so sorry, honey. So what are you going to do about it?"
And yes, you are completely entitled to say in your head, as many times as you want, "I fucking told you so!!!" As long as it stays in your head.
Finally: if it's a shared car and her irresponsibility runs the risk that you will run out of power, then you need to figure out a bigger solution. And by that I don't mean "nag her into plugging the damn thing in." I mean maybe you explain that it really bothers you that she leaves you to deal with the plugging in and running the risk that you get stuck somewhere, and you guys decide that only you drive that vehicle. Or you decide it's not worth it and trade in the Leaf and get a hybrid. Either she's going to learn from her mistake and start plugging the car in, or she's not -- and you don't control which one of those it is. So all you can do is decide if you really want to double down on forcing her to take care of the car the way you want her to, vs. giving up on the idea of something that she's either not willing to or capable of doing.
Oh, and finally-finally: the way you "get over it" is by not trying to get over it. You can't just tamp down that sort of anger through sheer willpower and expect to go on with life as normal. You get over it by figuring out what, exactly, is setting you off (e.g., the lack of consideration for you that your wife shows by leaving you holding the bag with all of the car stuff), finding a calm way to tell her how you feel, and then figuring out a solution (e.g., "when you do X, I hear it as you not caring enough about me to be bothered to take care of the car, and that hurts me and makes me feel like I don't matter. I realize that's probably not what's going on in your head, so I'd really like to hear what you're thinking, and what changes we can make to get out of this cycle, because I really don't like who I was today and how I treated you.").
*I do this too. So I know exactly how you feel, and exactly how overpowering that kind of irrational rage can be -- and exactly how stupid you feel because you know you're madder than you should be but can't figure out how to rein it back in.
**Assuming it's "annoyance" bad, not "immediate threat to life and limb" bad, of course.
