So. Dudebro. All I want to say to is, oh. Oh sweetie. No. That's not how parenting works. At all. This is not even how marriage
I want to say this in the most compassionate tone possible, because I find your lack of understanding just sad. At this point I'm rooting for your girlfriend to break up with you. You claims to love and respect her but, honestly, I'm not certain you quite understand the meaning of those words. You respect her but you're going to do everything you can to undermine her as a parent? You're going to denigrate not just what she does but part of who she is? You're going to try to force onto hypothetical future children the idea that their mother is lesser
because she's artsy, and they're not allowed to be like her? Oh, I know you're going to argue and claim that's not what they're doing, but it is
. That is exactly what you're doing, by prioritizing one narrow set of fields above all others. You're ignoring all of the advice in this thread, and indeed even all of the research that says it's not what degree you get it's who you are
that counts. Who you are as a parent matters. Who your kids are, and who they want to be, matters even more than that.
Until you are willing to put the happiness of kids above yours, no matter what you think
, please do not have any children. You will be doing them a disservice and, frankly, it won't be the path to your own happiness. You will be an unhappy parent, and unhappy person in general, if you do not let go of some of your rigidity of thinking. Of all the things I've done in my life, parenting has required the most creativity and flexibility. It is hard
even when you love your kids and accept them for who they are. It is hard even when you're, as Laura33 said, on the same page as your partner at least 90% of the time. Nothing in your life will (or maybe even should) challenge you as much as being a parent. Are you ready for that? No? Then take time--a lot more time--to let your thinking evolve. Read a lot. Parenting books, even ones you disagree with, can be very illuminating. But don't just read them, read novels too. Barbara Kingsolver's "The Poisonwood Bible" might be a good place to start. The dad in that sounds very much like the kind of parent you want to be.
At the very least, reading more might give you slightly
more appreciation for the arts. These people had something to say. Did it make them gobs of money? Maybe not. Did it make them happy, or bring them contentment? Almost certainly. Did it add something to all of humanity? Certainly. Are those things worth doing for their own sake? You might not think so, but your kids might. And that is something you'll have to learn to deal with.
As it stands, I would recommend that you not have kids, don't even get married. Maybe see a counselor or therapist and learn about yourself. You have quite a lot of growing up to do, and plenty of emotional intelligence to learn, before you even think about bringing another life into the world.
If I want someone to boss around and train I get a dog. Fellow humans don't exist for me to use for a re-do of my own youth, correcting my perceived mistakes.
+1 Your kids are not a template for you to impose your will on.
I'm done. Good luck with life, OP. You sound like you're going to need it.