High sex drive/low sex drive is a myth. Sex drive is not a fixed entity. There are things that put the breaks on, things that press the accelerator, and logistical constraints. Sometimes life facilitates frequent sex, and sometimes it gets in the way.
How is it a myth? Or rather, how is that provable?
Have you ever read a single textbook on human sexuality? Is this something you've spent a lot of time reading the research on?
Yes, we can
observe that drive is variable across people. I'm not denying the existence of observable variance in drive.
I'm talking about the normal application of this term, the use that is in effect here: The half of a couple who wants sex the most has "high drive." The one who wants sex least has "low drive." This is a deeply reductive framing that medicalizes and makes
fixed a difference that is in fact deeply influenced by social, psychological, relational, and situational factors (which also profoundly influence biology -- hormone levels themselves are deeply affected by how we spend our time and even how we think).
When we jump immediately to biological determinism and attribute someone's observed drive in a given moment to biology, we are ignoring the many, many highly fixable reasons why someone might not be able to access their feelings of sexual desire as frequently as they would like.
My biggest objection is that "it's biological" is a great way for a man to throw up his hands and say, "Well, she just doesn't have a high enough sex drive!" and never do anything at all that would improve the situation. It's the same handy excuse a man can use to throw up his hands and say, "Well, some women just aren't able to orgasm!" without reading a single book on how to make it happen, or, god forbid, asking his partner what works for her.
"It must be hormones" or "she has low drive" is the go-to excuse of someone who has tried nothing and is all out of ideas.
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OP, I read every post here, and I'm tired of your vague "making assumptions" nonsense. What you have been doing across various threads on this forum is
building a case against your girlfriend. Maybe it's a case so you can break up and feel like the good guy. Maybe it's to justify cheating. Maybe it's a case so you can more effectively manipulate her (although I do not think coming to her and saying "So-and-so on the Money Mustache Forums has sex every day! You should be doing that for me!" is likely to have the effect you want it to). Who knows what you're aiming at? Not me! All I know is that your description of your relationship makes it look like you are unhappy, and you want
her to change things
for you that are probably not within her ability to change, such as her available free time. You say you want a woman who can be alone with you 3-4 nights a week. That is not a woman who is raising five children alone. And yet somehow, you are determined to make yourself the victim here.
