How do you stay motivated?

[sweetfire]

After high-flying adventures in our 20's and really stupid, self-inflicted misadventures in our 30's, my husband and I finally wised up in our 40's. We are approaching the middle of our ultimate financial goal, but aren't quite over that hump yet.  The initial excitement has worn off.  The FIRE date is not close enough yet to be tantalizing.  I feel like I did when I was a kid in the backseat of the car, asking "Are we there yet?"  No.  "Are we there yet?"  No.  Anyone else feel like this?  How do you push through this middle part without going nuts? Yes, I'm whining. 

[The_path_less_taken]

I look at the 71 year old people I see that HAVE to work as WalMart greeters if they want to eat.

I look at the 21 year old kid down the street driving a $50,000 truck.

I think: that's not what I want to be doing.

And then I think: "there is going to come a day where I'm not going to have to punch a timeclock, or put up with workplace stupidity...and that's worth not buying a stupid <insert useless item here> today."

Chocolate helps though: I'm not giving up chocolate. At gunpoint.

[okits]

Um...  Hate your job more?  Expose yourself to miserable wage slaves older than you to see the consequences of poor money management?

Seriously, either ramp up your earning/decrease your spending more so your progress is greater (and more exciting), or make your life more enjoyable so you live a bit for today and are comfortable with FIRE in the background as a long-term goal.

[patricles]

Challenge yourself financially to make it interesting.  Go one month without spending any non-groceries money.  Learn a new cheap and healthy recipe.  Replace your car with a bike for certain errands for the summer.

[HenryDavid]

Read this book: Shantaram, by Gregory David Roberts. Set in the slums of Mumbai/Bombay.
A very, very frugal North American is unbelievably comfortable and rich. Enjoy it! Revel in it! And appreciate it.
The comfortable beds, the safety. The hot running water, the food, the health. Now  . . .. what was it you felt deprived of?

OK, the book is really fat, but you could even read the first 100 pages and you'd probably get the message . . .

[ice813]

Shantaram, great book.

[Guesl982374]

I look at the 71 year old people I see that HAVE to work as WalMart greeters if they want to eat.

1) This to a lesser extent. I look around at coworkers who are older now than how old my wife and I will be when we hit FI. I think about how they must feel dealing with the same shit at work with no discernible end in sight.

2) This may sound a little silly: I realized that humans typically remember the bad things more clearly than good things. I realized I was definitely guilty of this. I started keeping a running list on my phone of things that made me smile/laugh/think "This is nice" with the goal of one item per day. Looking back over the list usually brings a smile to my face. The goal is to live more in the moment even if its for a few minutes each day and not just constantly dream about some vague FI date in the future.

In the end I still deal with the "are we there yet?" issue but those two tatics do help.

[Cougar]

remember, youre different now.

i think to myself that i'm different that anyone i work with, doesnt matter if they make less or more than me or what their job title is. eventually i will walk away to freedom and they'll still be chained to the debts of the cunsomer culture.

there will be periods when its a drudgery, but if you can break it down to months or weeks; you can mark them off the calendar and its more motivating.

[cerebus]

What are you trying to stay motivated for; to continue saving and saving until you can FIRE? How are you going to keep up that level of non-spending after FIRE if you struggle with it now? For most people on this direction, it's a way of life that they adopted, and whether working a job or stepping off the ladder and FIRE'ing, it's not much of a difference in how they live. It's simply the preferred way of being.

[NearlyThere]

I visit this forum. Staying around like minded folks keeps me motivated. Though after being here nearly two years, you find the principles are on auto-pilot and it is second nature to maintain.

[Sofa King]

I think to myself that whether I stay the course or not the same time will pass anyway and time does go very fast when you look back on things so I just keep chugging along knowing that day WILL be here before I know it (by end of 2017) and that if I did give up I would be VERY pissed off at myself for failing when that day got here.  Also it's not like life is bad having some self control. We still enjoy our lives every day and having this goal helps us remained focused on what is important! As Dave Ramsey says "live like no one else now so later you can live like no one else".

[CopperTex]

I look at the 71 year old people I see that HAVE to work as WalMart greeters if they want to eat.

This is my dad, quite literally. He is 72 and does janitorial work at Wal-Mart. He has made terrible choices in life and now is paying the piper. Bad knees, bad back - he suffers daily after a lifetime of not saving or working stable jobs. I don't know how he will continue. It's a huge motivation for me. But also, you have to find a lifestyle today that you are happy with. If you think your happiness will come when you FIRE, you are doing it wrong.

[Elderwood17]

I am almost thankful that my job/industry is getting more difficult.  It keeps me focused on the fact if I keep going I can get out forever much sooner than most anyone I know.

[Bracken_Joy]

Check the "Throw down the gauntlet" section. Maybe some challenges and some community surrounding them will keep you motivated. Continually optimize- even if you don't "need to" in order to reach FIRE, it keeps you engaged more.

Visit the forums =)

Most importantly, though, I think is to keep it all on autopilot. Set it up so that you don't HAVE to stay particularly motivated and it will still happen. Change your normal. Change your set point.

[Squirrel away]

Great tips.:)

[Retired To Win]

What are you trying to stay motivated for; to continue saving and saving until you can FIRE? How are you going to keep up that level of non-spending after FIRE if you struggle with it now? For most people on this direction, it's a way of life that they adopted, and whether working a job or stepping off the ladder and FIRE'ing, it's not much of a difference in how they live. It's simply the preferred way of being.

The OP is not griping about being frugal.  The gripe is about the OP's FIRE "anticipation frustration".  It's about the wait still left to become job-free.

[ltt]

But sweetfire, you mentioned that you were almost at 50% of your goal---that is good!! How many years did it take you to get to that goal?  Once you get just past it, then you will start to see the finish line.  Keep going!!!!!!

[NearlyThere]

Just Finished then book "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari". It deals with this brilliantly.

Basically, have long term goals but don't let them stop you from living in the moment

[Mrs.LC]

Sit down with a calculator and see if you can achieve that FIRE date sooner.  Break it down into shorter goals with smaller amounts of savings to strive for.  Sometimes we have to play mind games with ourselves. 

[gt7152b]

Just Finished then book "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari". It deals with this brilliantly.

Basically, have long term goals but don't let them stop you from living in the moment

Haven't read the book but that is exactly what I'm trying to focus on. Living purely for the future (or even the past) creates unhappiness. Not planning for a great future can also lead to unhappiness but don't dwell on these thoughts. Put your plan in action and sit back to enjoy the ride. You can find joy in any situation by disbelieving the negative thoughts about your current situation. There is no bad or good situation so stop comparing the good old days or the golden future to today. The only guarantee is that you have this moment so enjoy the hell out of it.

[oinkette]

I stop looking at FIRE forums, blogs, and websites for a while. I know it'll be a while for me, so the only purpose it serves is to make me anxious. At this point, everything runs on automatic.  Debts are paid off. Emergency fund is funded. Money automatically goes where it needs to each month.  I've conditioned myself to live as frugal as possible...though it is fun to sometimes play money games/challenges as someone mentioned above.   

Then I get back into living my (now much more frugal) life.  One thing I've taken on doing is dabbling in the activities I plan on doing in retirement. Why put off cooking or creating all those things I have saved on Pinterest, when I can make them now? I also used to draw obsessively, so I got back into that, which makes me happy. 

Going to the gym is a great stress relief (and temporary euphoria inducer) as well. I also don't want to be fat, out of shape, and sickly in my (not so old) retirement years! Especially since I plan on biking, gardening, DIYing, and exploring to replace the hours I spend sitting at a desk right now.

[Cookie78]

Just Finished then book "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari". It deals with this brilliantly.

Basically, have long term goals but don't let them stop you from living in the moment

Haven't read the book but that is exactly what I'm trying to focus on. Living purely for the future (or even the past) creates unhappiness. Not planning for a great future can also lead to unhappiness but don't dwell on these thoughts. Put your plan in action and sit back to enjoy the ride. You can find joy in any situation by disbelieving the negative thoughts about your current situation. There is no bad or good situation so stop comparing the good old days or the golden future to today. The only guarantee is that you have this moment so enjoy the hell out of it.

This is really good advice. I get excited about FIRE goals and have a hard time finding the balance between living in the now and planning for the future. I am enjoying my life now and not denying myself pleasures, but I'm still really impatient, especially when I'm stuck at work. Not hating the work, but hating feeling stuck. Like the OP, I keep asking myself 'am I there yet' each day.

Just put myself on the waiting list for the book

I stop looking at FIRE forums, blogs, and websites for a while. I know it'll be a while for me, so the only purpose it serves is to make me anxious. At this point, everything runs on automatic.  Debts are paid off. Emergency fund is funded. Money automatically goes where it needs to each month.  I've conditioned myself to live as frugal as possible...though it is fun to sometimes play money games/challenges as someone mentioned above.   

Then I get back into living my (now much more frugal) life.  One thing I've taken on doing is dabbling in the activities I plan on doing in retirement. Why put off cooking or creating all those things I have saved on Pinterest, when I can make them now? I also used to draw obsessively, so I got back into that, which makes me happy. 

Going to the gym is a great stress relief (and temporary euphoria inducer) as well. I also don't want to be fat, out of shape, and sickly in my (not so old) retirement years! Especially since I plan on biking, gardening, DIYing, and exploring to replace the hours I spend sitting at a desk right now.

Also really good advice for me. I'm an MMM forum addict. It serves the purpose of keeping me inspired, motivated, and continually learning about things like investing, but it also creates anxiety (what if's) and frustration (only when I'm at work) that I am not there yet.

[sisto]

Definitely some good advice here. I too struggle with this. I'm in a job where I'm burned out. I keep telling myself I'm only 6 years away and I can do this. Sometimes it's really hard to stay motivated. I enjoy reading the forum, it definitely helps.

[Mrs. Frugalwoods]

Challenge yourself financially to make it interesting.  Go one month without spending any non-groceries money.  Learn a new cheap and healthy recipe.  Replace your car with a bike for certain errands for the summer.

+1. We get a lot of mileage out of making frugality a game. We're constantly challenging ourselves to innovate, insource more, and look for new ways to avoid consumerism. I find that this helps in the slog to FIRE--it just makes the journey more enjoyable because we're always looking for new ways to save more/earn more.

[Retired To Win]

... We get a lot of mileage out of making frugality a game. We're constantly challenging ourselves to innovate, insource more, and look for new ways to avoid consumerism. I find that this helps in the slog to FIRE -- it just makes the journey more enjoyable because we're always looking for new ways to save more/earn more.

Hah!  You beat me to it, Mrs. Frugalwoods.  I love playing the Frugal Game!

(Seriously, approaching it like a game keeps you motivated to improve your "score" and gives you nice, little "happy jolts" when you get a good hit.)

[expectopatronum]

Good topic. A few thoughts.

I think sometimes the loss of motivation can stem from feeling deprived. There are basically two ways to cure that feeling: 1) throw your cash around and buy more shit, or 2) cure the source (kill the desire). Approach #2 is where I am getting the best motivation, because it's a long-term solution! If I choose #1, that money is spent and gone, and at the beginning of the next month I'm back to square 1...poorer and no better off. Plus, I've just fired all my little cash employees, which can no longer reproduce and make me some more baby cash.

It's a mental adjustment. It's realizing - hey, I actually don't need to go out to eat "for the experience" more than once or twice a month. I don't feel like I'm giving anything up and it's an easier path to sustain. Also see MMM's article which talks a bit about controlling desire: http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/09/18/is-it-convenient-would-i-enjoy-it-wrong-question/

It's similar when I'm working on weight loss, I guess. Sometimes the end goal itself is NOT tantalizing enough to stay on track and you think, what's the point? But when it becomes about the journey...about living a healthier lifestyle, or a less consumerist/wasteful lifestyle, or a more mindful lifestyle....etcetc....THEN each day feels like an opportunity and not a sacrifice.

Keep in mind that most people are going to choose approach #1. There's something very freeing about approach #2, and on top of that, it speeds the path to actual freedom (FIRE) by just needing less from life (that can be bought, anyway).

[2ndTimer]

I think sometimes the loss of motivation can stem from feeling deprived. There are basically two ways to cure that feeling: 1) throw your cash around and buy more shit, or 2) cure the source (kill the desire). Approach #2 is where I am getting the best motivation, because it's a long-term solution! If I choose #1, that money is spent and gone, and at the beginning of the next month I'm back to square 1...poorer and no better off. Plus, I've just fired all my little cash employees, which can no longer reproduce and make me some more baby cash.

A third way is to treat the deprived feeling as a stimulus to creativity in the Frugal Game.  You start by figuring out in exactly what way you are feeling deprived and then try to address it frugally. 

[expectopatronum]

This is true. I guess that's the middle ground....creativity. Maybe love of traveling doesn't have to mean hotels; it can mean camping. Maybe home decor can start coming from Goodwill and Craigslist. Etc.