How do you share money with your partner?

[travelbug]

I hope everyone here will recognize the sad reality that about half of all marriages/relationships don't work out, and it is ugly when two people don't agree about the division of assets or child custody (and assets are frequently used as leverage in child custody disputes). So get it in writing before marrying people, (or even now that you're already married)!! I thought I knew Wife #1's character, but people do change sometimes and they do not behave in the honorable way you would have expected them to 5, 10, 20 years ago when you married them. And even otherwise honorable people behave dishonorably when their lives are falling apart and they're being egged on by family, friends, lawyers. Don't trust your current or future 'stash like that.

You hopefully wouldn't go into a million-dollar business deal with someone without so much of a scrap of paper in writing laying out your agreement, so why would you do it in a legal arrangement like marriage where there could be millions at stake? And particularly knowing that, statistically, you stand almost a 50% chance at failure? MMM has a great article on his "big mistake", it goes just as much for the legal contract of marriage and having an agreement for how your assets, pensions, and so on will be divided in the event of divorce or death.

I suppose I might think differently if I was to marry now, but DH and I were married when we had nothing and have built our stash together, so that's the POV we are coming from.

And as far as having multiple accounts; for me personally, I love having a combined stash accumulating at the maximum level in one account. It's more fun to see our numbers growing larger than they would be if dispersed into smaller amounts.

[cdngb]

I would suggest that you talk to a CPA, a CA in Canada or better still a lawyer who deals in Family Law in your state or province of your residence.

This will give you specific information for where you live.  This is important if there is a marriage break-up, a death and/or a bankruptcy.  Each could affect your financial position.

If you are prepared with a list of your assets, incomes and expenses, copies of your income tax returns and information on any possible inheritances there should be little cost for this consultation.

Once you have the information you then can make an informed decision.  Although the information on this Forum is interesting and beneficial I would not base such an important financial decision on it.

You did not give us your ages or how long you have been married.

Remember one of the fastest growing age demographics of divorce is seniors.

One suggestion for everyone.  Be sure that both spouses have their own credit so that if anything happens they will have the credit history.  If everything is only in the name of one spouse the other will be in trouble if any of the above happens.

Make sure your Wills and Powers of Attorney are updated.

Good luck.